i feel awful.. christians answer only.

[ChristopherK]

How should i start the convo? I just hope its not going to be super awkward. I really feel in my heart i should talk to him about it. But i dont know what to say

Dude, there's no easy way to have the convo. He'll feel better that you're in the same position as him. That'll make it easier.

 

[HereIStand]

Dude, there's no easy way to have the convo. He'll feel better that you're in the same position as him. That'll make it easier.

She is a girl.

 

[ChristopherK]

She is a girl.

And? Just do it. It's the best way to start SOME KIND of reparations.

 

[HereIStand]

And? Just do it. It's the best way to start SOME KIND of reparations.

And that would make her not a dude?

 

[ChristopherK]

And that would make her not a dude?

....yes that would make her not a dude.

No, the point still remains that she needs help and even though it's uncomfortable either he can tell her or ask a close sister in Christ to.

 

[Neogaia777]

Dude, there's no easy way to have the convo. He'll feel better that you're in the same position as him. That'll make it easier.

Wrong...? Don't let him know about you that way... It could be all kinds of trouble...

 

[Neogaia777]

And? Just do it. It's the best way to start SOME KIND of reparations.

Wrong, wrong, wrong... That's the problem with this society, it thinks that no thing should just be kept to yourself anymore, it's just "wrong"...

 

[Theadorus]

I was raised pentecostal. At the age of ten I responded to an altar call and set out on the Christian path, determined to live a pure and holy life for God. I started to become aware of my imperfections/ sin( even at that age) and I didn't want the sin, I wanted to be completely pure, holy and sinless.
Then I reached puberty and along came the impure thoughts. My stomach churned, I didn't want them, I didn't want to end up in hell. But no matter how hard I tried to resist such thoughts, they just grew stronger in my life.
I became a slave of masturbation. Sometimes three or four times a day. I didn't have the internet in those days, but if I had, i would have watched a lot of inappropriate content also. The more dirty I believed my lustful thoughts were, the more excited I felt by them, the more shame I had. I became wracked by guilt, fear and condemnation. And all the time the lust/ masturbation just got worse. I cared about nothing apart from lust/ women.
At the age of sixteen I stopped going to church. I was too impure to belong there. I couldn't live the holy life the other church members appeared to live.
When I was nineteen my life was in a mess, I went to see someone, he asked me to read a book. I did, and for the first time in my life I read about Pauls gospel message. I had never heard preached what i was now reading. I read my righteousness before God was faith in Christ, not my own personal goodness. I dared to believe I could be a Christian after all, for Christianity hinged in what Christ did for me.
But what of the masturbation? I didn't want it, I wanted to be free of it. I got down on my knees and asked God to deal with it, determined to believe Christ was now my righteousness before God.
For the next three days I masturbated, but for the first time in my life I did not let that make me feel condemned. I looked to Jesus and trusted I was saved because he died for me. He was my rightstanding before God.
A voice in my head told me I was a hypocrite and fooling myself. I couldn't be a Christian and do what I was doing. It was so hard to ignore that voice and keep trusting I was saved because Jesus died for me, but somehow I did.
On the fourth day, the masturbation I had been a slave to for six years stopped. When I feared it would send me to hell it only got worse

Paul wrote:

For sin shall no longer be your master, for you are not under law( of righteousness) but under grace( a righteousness of faith in Christ rom6:14

It is your only hope, most reject it, if you are desperate enough you may not
God bless

Well put sir! Thank God for his grace!

 

[JESUS=G.O.A.T]

so I caught my 20 year old brother watching inappropriate content. I didn't see him watching it but when I opened his door, it was pretty obvious what he was doing. hes my bestfriend. and we are very close. I am 21 by the way. anyways, I come from a very religious house hold. I'm a Pentecostal Christian. we go to church and I know God hates inappropriate content and masturbation. I just feel awful that he does it. it can affect his relationship with his future wife or kids. and I just know its not good to do. I feel deeply hurt by this. and when I talked to someone about it, they didn't understand why I felt so bad. they said watching inappropriate content is normal.. we clearly don't see things the same way. anyways I have big problems myself because I do it too. I always feel guilty when I do it. ive prayed about it and I cant stop. I guess I feel bad for the both of us I don't want to go to hell. and I don't want him going there either. what should I do? should I talk to him? I feel like I have no right to talk to him since I'm guilty of the same sin. what should I do? I don't feel right.. he always seems like such a good boy who would never do such a thing. I just needed to talk to someone. I'm confused. please only Christians answer.

i'll keep you in prayers I dealt with the same problem myself as a pentecostal/apostolic with inappropriate content when I was 18 or so, i'm 20 now and haven't watched inappropriate content in at least a year and now I preach and i'm a musician. God can change anyone.

Look you're on the right track, you have a change of heart for the sin, like you feel bad about it that's the key to changing your life and receiving the holy spirit. He doesn't yet have a change of heart and until he does ther'es nothing much that can be done for him, hopefully maybe inviting him to church or something may help him repent and get a change heart so he can then seek the holy spirit.

But yeah next time you go to your church go to the alter and seek the holy spirit so you can stop watching it, that's what I did after I finally had a change of heart about it and the music I was into and it worked for me so it can for you!

btw you can also seek God at home of course but for most like myself getting saved and changing for God was easier to do with encouraging saints at church.

 

[dqhall]

so I caught my 20 year old brother watching inappropriate content. I didn't see him watching it but when I opened his door, it was pretty obvious what he was doing. hes my bestfriend. and we are very close. I am 21 by the way. anyways, I come from a very religious house hold. I'm a Pentecostal Christian. we go to church and I know God hates inappropriate content and masturbation. I just feel awful that he does it. it can affect his relationship with his future wife or kids. and I just know its not good to do. I feel deeply hurt by this. and when I talked to someone about it, they didn't understand why I felt so bad. they said watching inappropriate content is normal.. we clearly don't see things the same way. anyways I have big problems myself because I do it too. I always feel guilty when I do it. ive prayed about it and I cant stop. I guess I feel bad for the both of us I don't want to go to hell. and I don't want him going there either. what should I do? should I talk to him? I feel like I have no right to talk to him since I'm guilty of the same sin. what should I do? I don't feel right.. he always seems like such a good boy who would never do such a thing. I just needed to talk to someone. I'm confused. please only Christians answer.

Watching inappropriate contentography causes lust. Lust is sin. Too many people went from inappropriate contentography/masturbation to worse sexual sins. Difficult is the way that leads to life. Chastity is for single people. You should pray for chastity instead of entertaining lewd thoughts. You may pray to God to teach you the way that is right.

 

[stuart lawrence]

All true Christians in their heart want to obey God and live as he desires them to. If you hate your sin, if it makes you feel bad, that is because the Holy Spirit is with you. It is actually proof you are saved.
But in our desire to please God by obeying him, and in our knowledge God hates sin, it is easy to forget that Christ is our righteousness before him. That's grace. And it's so easy to judge whether we have rightstanding before God based on our personal goodness
No one who is truly born again, could take the view of Christ is their righteousness, so they are free to sin as much as they want. They will still earnestly desire to be free of sin that binds them.
It isn't easy to keep looking to Christ and trust in him for our rightstanding with the Father when we are beset by certain sin in our lives. But in truth, according to Paul message, it is when we do keep trusting Jesus died for even us, that it is the way to see victory over sin

 

[mao]

All true Christians in their heart want to obey God and live as he desires them to. If you hate your sin, if it makes you feel bad, that is because the Holy Spirit is with you. It is actually proof you are saved.
But in our desire to please God by obeying him, and in our knowledge God hates sin, it is easy to forget that Christ is our righteousness before him. That's grace. And it's so easy to judge whether we have rightstanding before God based on our personal goodness
No one who is truly born again, could take the view of Christ is their righteousness, so they are free to sin as much as they want. They will still earnestly desire to be free of sin that binds them.
It isn't easy to keep looking to Christ and trust in him for our rightstanding with the Father when we are beset by certain sin in our lives. But in truth, according to Paul message, it is when we do keep trusting Jesus died for even us, that it is the way to see victory over sin

All true Christians in their heart want to obey God and live as he desires them to. If you hate your sin, if it makes you feel bad, that is because the Holy Spirit is with you. It is actually proof you are saved.
But in our desire to please God by obeying him, and in our knowledge God hates sin, it is easy to forget that Christ is our righteousness before him. That's grace. And it's so easy to judge whether we have rightstanding before God based on our personal goodness
No one who is truly born again, could take the view of Christ is their righteousness, so they are free to sin as much as they want. They will still earnestly desire to be free of sin that binds them.
It isn't easy to keep looking to Christ and trust in him for our rightstanding with the Father when we are beset by certain sin in our lives. But in truth, according to Paul message, it is when we do keep trusting Jesus died for even us, that it is the way to see victory over sin

Amen well said!!! Your are very wisdom minded. I aprreciate what you wrote

 

[stuart lawrence]

Amen well said!!! Your are very wisdom minded. I aprreciate what you wrote

You know, the greatest witnesses for Christ, are those who have been through trials and weaknesses, that they have the courage to admit to.
I'm sure you will be fine, and see victory, and God will use you to help others who struggle in their walk.
I mean, look what God did with the worst of sinners. He turned him into the greatest preacher of grace this world has ever seen and he wrote half the books of the NT
God bless

 

[lunabeam]

Hey dear!

I understand how confusing and demanding a feeling like this can be. As someone that has struggled with this addiction for years, I want to tell you that sometimes you can be the tool God uses to expose such a thing. As embarrassed as I felt during it, I had admitted a while ago to my inappropriate contentography addiction to a small fellowship I went to on Sunday nights—my mother being one of them. I was surrounded by nothing but love, and I was incredibly blessed to receive the response that I did. Sure, I bawled my eyes out, but that's how you grow.

I want to encourage you to talk to your brother about this. It's a dark hole to fall down in. Show him your love and your concern. I believe you saw what you did for a reason, and now it's heavily on your heart. God will give you the right words and the right time to do so—but do pray through this. Pray for whatever condition your brother's heart is in. Totally lean on God's timing and understanding for this situation. Take careful steps forward and gently confront. God will hold you through this, as well as your brother.

 

[lunabeam]

Oh, and I forgot to add this! If you talk with him and tell him that you are struggling with the same thing, you two can not only help each other on this, but find common ground and begin to surrender this sin to God. God loves you so, so much. It pains Him to see everyone sin, whether we do it on purpose or not. Good thing is, He is always going to be there beside you and in your heart, in your spirit. Jesus didn't die for nothing. Sin is abolished when we bring it to God, and He holds our hand as we begin to walk down that path of recovery and repentance. A lot of info, I know, but how precious it is to know even the tallest mountains to us can be so small to Him.

I will be praying for you love! You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.

 

[dms1972]

I wanted to mention a book that could be helpful for the OP.

its called Illusions of Intimacy by Signa Bodishbaugh

 

[mao]

Oh, and I forgot to add this! If you talk with him and tell him that you are struggling with the same thing, you two can not only help each other on this, but find common ground and begin to surrender this sin to God. God loves you so, so much. It pains Him to see everyone sin, whether we do it on purpose or not. Good thing is, He is always going to be there beside you and in your heart, in your spirit. Jesus didn't die for nothing. Sin is abolished when we bring it to God, and He holds our hand as we begin to walk down that path of recovery and repentance. A lot of info, I know, but how precious it is to know even the tallest mountains to us can be so small to Him.

I will be praying for you love! You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.

you are a wonderful human. I'm glad you got over this awful addiction. thank you for everything you wrote. it really touched my heart. God Bless!

 

[Gluttonous Winebibber]

its soo hard because I enjoy the feeling of it..

Its never been about not feeling good..everyone has something they've done because it feels good..but it is whether or not you let it rule over you Genesis 4:7 because it is the alternative we choose when we fail the other.

 

[Christodoulos]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm wasn't trying to say that inappropriate content isn't a big deal, what I was trying to say was that you shouldn't condemn yourself because of it. You shouldn't beat yourself up so badly. If you were to stand in front of God right now, would he sit there and tell you how terrible of a person you are for watching inappropriate content? No. He, would tell you how much he loves you and that he knows you can beat this addiction. He would love on you, and tell you to be strong, and how he created you to be an overcomer.

I completely understand where you are coming from, because like I said, I've been through that myself, and it was a tough battle, but I overcame it. All condemnation, and feeling bad about yourself is going to do is hurt your relationship with God. when you're condemned about sinning, you feel unworthy to fellowship, or even mention God's name. Yes, you may get over feeling bad after a few days, and then feel like a christian again, but once you sin, you go right back into feeling unworthy, and that is a terrible way to live. I'm not trying to minimize the sin, I'm trying to tell you that your sin doesn't change God's love you for, and the fact that he has already chosen to forgive you even before you commit that sin. Like I said, when you mess up, repent, pick yourself back up and keep on moving. The more you fight it, the easier it becomes to resist it.

Hi, can you please quote the verse(s) in the Bible that support what you say, "I'm trying to tell you that your sin doesn't change God's love you for, and the fact that he has already chosen to forgive you even before you commit that sin"

This is false Christian living, and sends out the wrong message that God's love for the Christian is so great, that He does not love any less because we sin! This is nonsense. The Bible tells us to be holy in all our living, and without holiness we shall not even see the Lord. In fact Jesus says that not all who say "Lord, Lord" will enter heaven, if they live unrighteous lives. God does not and cannot forgive any sin before they are committed, but ONLY after we repent. What the Prophet Jeremiah wrote, is still very much for us today:

"Then the word of the Lord came to me: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. If at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it, and if that nation, concerning which I have spoken, turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I intended to do to it. And if at any time I declare concerning a nation or a kingdom that I will build and plant it, and if it does evil in my sight, not listening to my voice, then I will relent of the good that I had intended to do to it." (18:5-10)

 

[GeorgeJ]

I wouldn't talk to him about not "doing it" until you stop "doing it".