I don't want to be a bad wife anymore!

[paul becke]

You guys all have such great words and great advice, I'm enjoying reading them, I hope this is helping her...

God Bless!

Yes, sounds like some great technical advice, inluding your own.

 

[Long Island Pilgrim]

This is a great and helpful free video series . Loads of practical and helpful advice.

 

[Dave-W]

I had a friend that was all about the medication when she was depressed, but she liked the "manic" phase. She would say she was "high on life,"

That is fairly common. People on the up side of bipolar can seem like they are unstoppable. They can stay awake for days or weeks at a time, and can produce an amazing amount of work in a short time. They frequently report feeling strong, alive and euphoric.

But they are also irritable, impatient and sometimes violent.

but to every one else observing her objectively she was acting... very very off.

Also rather common.

 

[98cwitr]

Hello, I would like to ask for some advice. I'll try to make this short although it is a very complex issue.

My husband and I have been married for 15 years and have two lovely children. From the outside, things are great. But I am afraid I have wrecked my marriage.

I was diagnosed as bipolar after having major emotional issues since age 12. The doc put me on a bad medication 3 years ago which caused me to gain 70 pounds, develop a drinking problem, and a habit of talking to men online. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds. What's worse is, this whole time I blamed my husband for not being affectionate and supportive of my issues, threatening to have affairs and leave him.

The good news is, I quit the med, stopped all my bad habits and lost all the weight! I got off the couch, started making dinner again and oddly enough, my emotional problems have disappeared since quitting the horrible medication. I am sane again and NOTHING like the woman I was on while taking that med.

My problem is I am afraid I have caused irreparable damage to my marriage. I have recently been worried sick and anxious that my husband will leave me, even though he tries to tell me everything is fine. He actually tells me we are "soul mates," but I feel as though God will take him away from me because I don't deserve him. I feel literally sick to my stomach with guilt. I know he just wants to move on and forget it.

Anyway, I just need some opinions on how I can be a better wife and fix my marriage.

*I did find a good marriage counselor, who understands bipolar, but I am afraid that taking my husband to an appointment will only dredge up issues and make things worse....?*

As long as you're seeing a Christian counselor I don't think your issues will get worse, only better. There is NOTHING wrong with putting the WHOLE truth on the table and dealing with it together...that's what marriage is all about So glad coming off the meds helped you so much!

 

[Avniel]

Hm. Be careful about attributing all your behaviors to that medication, when it could have very well been your disorder. For some reason, a lot of bipolar people want to vilify their medications and downplay their condition. I guess they don't like how medication makes them feel? I don't know. You just have to remember that your own feelings are pretty subjective. I had a friend that was all about the medication when she was depressed, but she liked the "manic" phase. She would say she was "high on life," but to every one else observing her objectively she was acting... very very off. She really needed to be on something to function. If you don't like the medication you are on, perhaps talk to your prescriber about trying something else.

I think that's because the medicine deals with the symptom and not the cause. If I was diagnosed in America, I would go to another country and get a second opinion. Medicine and they way it's practiced in America is really exploitive.

Now I wouldn't recommend anyone stop taking medication but I always recommend go to another country for a second opinion.

 

[akmom]

Avniel, what do you mean by treating the symptoms versus the cause? It's a mental health issue. You can't just cure it. What exactly do they do in other countries to cure mental illness?

The original post just reads like someone who wants to quit their psych meds and is looking for a justification to do so. Maybe hoping to get a couple of thumbs-up from random readers so she can feel like other people agree with her. It's kind of typical for bipolar people who want to quit their meds, but can't really control their behaviors without them. Unfortunately, lots of problems can result. So hopefully she shares her concerns with an actual psychiatrist, instead of getting the go-ahead from an Internet forum who doesn't have her medical records nor expertise.

 

[Neogaia777]

Avniel, what do you mean by treating the symptoms versus the cause? It's a mental health issue. You can't just cure it. What exactly do they do in other countries to cure mental illness?

The original post just reads like someone who wants to quit their psych meds and is looking for a justification to do so. Maybe hoping to get a couple of thumbs-up from random readers so she can feel like other people agree with her. It's kind of typical for bipolar people who want to quit their meds, but can't really control their behaviors without them. Unfortunately, lots of problems can result. So hopefully she shares her concerns with an actual psychiatrist, instead of getting the go-ahead from an Internet forum who doesn't have her medical records nor expertise.

That's why I didn't do that... I have to take Psych meds as well, and have tried to go off them many times, in denial, due to pride usually...

Not doing that anymore...

If your bi-polar, you need a tried, tested and proven, good mood stabilizer, probably an anti-depresant of some kind, and maybe an anti-psychotic, if it's bad enough...

I have to take all of these for my issues... The problem is, I used to think I was just "fine" or could do without them, but, and i wouldn't believe other people when they would say I wasn't fine, now I do, and take my meds regularly now...