I dont trust God anymore :/

[W2L]

Yiure right.. I just need to start small.

Amen.

 

[Greg J.]

Have you committed yourself to follow Jesus in every way? Is he your Lord in practice? Are you willing to accept whatever he decides is best for you? Having the answers firmly in your heart makes a big difference in what one's relationship with Jesus is like. If you aren't already, put your hope in Jesus for everything, such as healing, a positive outlook, and all your future. Make Jesus and pleasing him your priority above all things and he will take care of a lot of things for you (Matthew 6:33).

Have you chosen to stay faithful to Jesus no matter what?

For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”), yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live. (bold mine, 1 Corinthians 8:5-6, 1984 NIV)

His love for you is within him and does not depend on you. He really loves you and that means he is working for your happiness, but it is happiness in the long-term. In this world we will have trouble. And every bit of that trouble and pain is from sin in the world. God didn't create pain or ever intend that it exist, and he died so you could be rescued from it. He is not sitting around while you suffer, he is experiencing it with you and working to get you out of it as well. When you are obedient and pray, you are helping him speed toward that day.

Read Psalm 91. It starts with "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest ..." These are God's words to you personally. Do you believe that, even though you aren't experiencing it? All Scripture is true. He said to ask for anything and he will give it to you. It is your experiences and your understanding and interpretation of your experiences that can be deceived. God always keeps his promises. There's nothing wrong at his end; it's at our end.

 

[joyfull defender]

That is my issue... Like, I.. Sometimes I wonder why I keep coming back here because I don't feel like a Christian.... I dont read or pray... But despite what has happened-- I still believe in God ( somehow... I cant get rid of it)

I just want back what I lost, just to simply believe God liked me..and that he was happy with me. I see people on YouTube with awesome testimonies how they're so close knit with God, how God did this and that for them... And I ..i never had that. Idk why but even before the damage ( will get into soon) happen ... I had some experiences with God...mostly dreams..but it was never anything thatd make you go.." That was 100% God" idk alot of Christians make it seem like youre supposed to get an answer to every prayer, or hear clearly from God and be les by his spirit always.. ( also I still never experienced his leading..) so it just made me feel like I was defective or God just didnt like me.
--------------------------

That's one of the reason's its hard for me to trust God..bc its like he says he wants to be close, talk to you, give you his promises...BUT...it seems everyone else is able to do it but me .... So in that sense I felt like a carrot was being dangled in front of my face.

Now on to the damage..
I'm gonna make this short and bullet point it

▶ Pastor treated me differently , called my mom told her I was a liar and not to believe anything I said. Would rebuke me in front of others, asked if the spirit of Judas was in me, prophesied id be in a shelter..and told me God has mercy on whom he has mercy... And I didnt do anything to warrant that..infact before service...my brothers and I would clean her home ...and i bathed her once when she was ill ...and helped her take her medicine... So I didnt do anything mean or malicious to warrent all that.

▶ Current situation- As I've stated in other threads, I got kicked out of school.. And (gonna back track) when I was in church and what not... I feel like even when I was " blessed" itd be with Jobs I couldn't do... When id hear from someone else the job they'd have is a breeze to get through... And just the whole being in a crampt hotel with my family for 3 years...having set back after set back..

So my faith in God was forcefully eroded.. I cant trust anymore, I have no faith...accept to believe that God is...it is simply impossible for me to believe God doesn't hate me or doesn't want to do anything bad to me...like punish me or something because of the feed back from reality in getting coupled with the spiritual silence... I cant trust because I'm afraid something bad will happen..

During the whole stressful event of my faith being eroded... I even dreamt of my own death and it felt so real like itd actually happen ( I'm not suicidal and I dont want to die)... So its hard...
-----------

I honestly dont care what anyone says, you cant just read a few scriptures and everything will be fine..no.. I feel the reason we all believe in God is because we all had an experience / encounter with Him that made the book come alive. Same with all the other youtubers I see, the have faith BC God came through for them... Had he not... They wouldn't be sharing any kind of testimony...

--------

I want to trust God again...but I feel I cant... I dont want to try but I just want my faith back and dont want to assume the worse... I just feel like I'm fading away and its kind of scary..but I'm becoming apathetic, I even resigned myself to just the fact... Idk maybe I'm a pot of destruction to show Gods wrath... I dont know... God just kinda left me to my own devices.

Dont know what to do.

 

[joyfull defender]

Hi Far Side. I will not say I understand what you are going through. I am questing GOD as well. I do not trust him anymore. I don't trust or like most Christians any more either. I do not know the answer for you. You have heard a lot of well meaning people tell you what to do. I am sorry it does not always work. I trust in that there is a way to resole any problem, even one of faith. I will find mine and I pray you will find yours. (one day at a time) some times ( one moment at a time)

 

[TurtleAnne]

I relate to so much of your experience, Far Side, from various posts of yours that I have read, like relating from my memory, my younger self.

The church I grew up in was somewhat corrupt, and it took me several years before I was able to separate all the experiences and observations I had with/of those people, from my own personal faith in God and Jesus. In retrospect it seems like it is such a simple concept, but it seriously took me about two decades before the Holy Spirit decided I was ready to have my heart and mind opened in that regard. In the meantime, during those two decades, I went through many things, some wonderful, many terrible. In retrospect I can see God's wisdom in all of it, because I really needed to overcome certain experiences and draw my own conclusions, in order to develop my own deeper understanding of what spirituality really is. That it is not a matter of who shows up to church or on the internet, with the seemingly perfect family, life and past, and carries on patting themselves on the back (in essence) about how perfect and holy they are and how much God loves them (while completely ignoring how much God loves all the people with lowly or downtrodden lives, as well). The story of Job comes to mind, and also Psalm 34:18. I think it is often a matter of being open-hearted to Jesus, even when our lives are rather bleak, so that the Holy Spirit can allow us to grow spiritually from the dark times in our lives, if we are open to it. I have also found that, personally, for me prayer often doesn't involve a lot of dialogue. For me it is very private, and happens in moments, where I feel deeply on a spiritual level, have small revelations and so on, when it is like my heart and mind are reaching out for guidance, and it comes when the time is right. It's not really like a laundry list of desires to be rattled off, and sometimes it's like a spiritual therapy, where I'm just honest about my struggles (of all kinds) and I know God is aware of what radiates from my soul.

So, just in my personal experience, faith is often quiet, but deeply rooted and powerful, and God knows our longings. Hence why some of us may seek, yearn and question for many years, and be subtly guided in multiple ways along the way, even when it seems like our faith is frail or stumbling (and yet we might be the only person in a large crowd who is seeking at all). God has perfect perspective, that some of the "hypocrite priests" of our day and age lack (Jesus dedicated a great deal of time and effort to explaining, challenging and warning about such hypocrites, so don't be fooled by them, they still exist after thousands of years). God also knows what prayer is for you, personally, what is genuine seeking and yearning, when it manifests in you. Do not worry about what other people think.

The lesson in Luke 18:1-14 packs a powerful punch in this regard, if you are seeking some confidence in your approach.

So my advice is to just keep seeking, yearning, being open-hearted to the Holy Spirit, even when things feel doubtful or gloomy, just like you have already been doing. God notices, because God notices everything.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Hi Far Side. I will not say I understand what you are going through. I am questing GOD as well. I do not trust him anymore. I don't trust or like most Christians any more either. I do not know the answer for you. You have heard a lot of well meaning people tell you what to do. I am sorry it does not always work. I trust in that there is a way to resole any problem, even one of faith. I will find mine and I pray you will find yours. (one day at a time) some times ( one moment at a time)

Right... One moment

 

[Jeshu]

Right... One moment

See the good thing with God's right moments is that they always remain and grow into even better moments.

Each moment you have with God in faith is for forever, only unbelief and doubt can kill such life in dragging us down living dead again, but when faith comes back God's moments are back as well.

When I began to realise that in my struggle with bad life then I knew I was on the winning side trusting God's love unconditionally like He truly loves us all as well.

Try it sis! Each forgiving thought you have against those horrible people who hurt you so bad will open you up more to receive a loving God instead of the cruel loveless one you know now. Please always remember that to find God He has to e born in us. Jesus tell us that doing the will of the Father - to love - will make us His brother, sister and mother - how much better than that can you get?

Now those horrible impostors who brought you so much bad life and so much distortion about God and His Word will have to face God one day about all the pain they brought into your and other peoples lives teaching the word of God they they did.

God does not want any one to get lost, such is the true heart of our Father. I feel like that about my children as well and the children of other dads as well, so I know what a dad's heart longs for when it comes to His kids - so sister please always remember who the True Father is and who the untrue father is - for the True Father raised Jesus from the Dead and so in one sweep too His kids back from the untrue father, as it always should have been in the law of love!

John 3:16-17

Be blessed dear.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

See the good thing with God's right moments is that they always remain and grow into even better moments.

Each moment you have with God in faith is for forever, only unbelief and doubt can kill such life in dragging us down living dead again, but when faith comes back God's moments are back as well.

When I began to realise that in my struggle with bad life then I knew I was on the winning side trusting God's love unconditionally like He truly loves us all as well.

Try it sis! Each forgiving thought you have against those horrible people who hurt you so bad will open you up more to receive a loving God instead of the cruel loveless one you know now. Please always remember that to find God He has to e born in us. Jesus tell us that doing the will of the Father - to love - will make us His brother, sister and mother - how much better than that can you get?

Now those horrible impostors who brought you so much bad life and so much distortion about God and His Word will have to face God one day about all the pain they brought into your and other peoples lives teaching the word of God they they did.

God does not want any one to get lost, such is the true heart of our Father. I feel like that about my children as well and the children of other dads as well, so I know what a dad's heart longs for when it comes to His kids - so sister please always remember who the True Father is and who the untrue father is - for the True Father raised Jesus from the Dead and so in one sweep too His kids back from the untrue father, as it always should have been in the law of love!

John 3:16-17

Be blessed dear.

Thanks for being so positive when I couldn't. Ill try bc God is all I have rn... I hate anxiety and depression so much.

 

[Jeshu]

Thanks for being so positive when I couldn't. Ill try bc God is all I have rn... I hate anxiety and depression so much.

So do I Far Side, so do I! Nothing has hurt me more and for longer than depression has. It is an awful condition to have. (Surely evil wrong designed it to pester otherwise good people with, ever hear of the wicked getting depression? It is just not like that down here.)

I'll share you a poem about getting away from depression, I'm not sure if I shared it with you before, please let me know and I'll post another to tell you about escaping depression the 100 percent safe way.

Forsaking The Pit.
As I climb over the rim, I clearly see,
Involuntary I shudder the sight in me,
Down without a bottom the pit below,
Yes this fiery hole within me on show!

Hear voices of darkness pressing hard on must.
Those 'speaking guilt, shame, unbelief, and distrust,
All together pushing, yes, pressing me deep,
Resisting my climb to the top so steep.

See those guilty feelings still tug my feet,
I can feel flames searing, my toes they meet!
Electrifying my soul, no mercy on show.
Why ever did I take this hell-hole in tow?

Above me the Light, Jesus, the Truth so high!
How long before I will meet up with Him in the sky?
He knows I will come after Him without a doubt,
As true nourishing goodness He is all about.

My bloodied fingers scraped by rock,
For how many years did they mock?
Those hard places within my very being,
Those fiery stones of my own seeing!

I climbed after the Light right above me,
The only truth that truly leaves me be,
Never will I stop seeking after The Light.
As Jesus Christ is my very soul's delight!

Soon the 'resting place' of my enemy,
Bottomless pit shall forever be!
For the ones without Love or Grace.
Those who with their lies made this place.

 

[knw1991]

1) I tried reading and praying...it felt forced and I felt nothing .

2) If everyone were all supposed to be brought low, why wasn't every Christian treated terribly by a pastor ? Or spiritual leader?( that will bring you low real quick andmess up your faith in the process)

3) The youtubers I watch are very sincere...if that's the case I shouldn't be here either... They're also Christians

Hi far side, I have some info that may be helpful to you. I want you to know that the feelings you have I have absolutely been there. I can promise you my life with that. I relate to you so much. I will add you on Facebook. I know it feels like god is being unfair you. And you're right, people tell you to pray and read, which is fine, but that is not going to take what you feel away. I really think God wants you to have raw faith despite everything you are going through. I will give you an article to explain this. Please add me on Facebook. I will pm you my name on Facebook or you can pm me your Facebook link so i can send you the article

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Hi far side, I have some info that may be helpful to you. I want you to know that the feelings you have I have absolutely been there. I can promise you my life with that. I relate to you so much. I will add you on Facebook. I know it feels like god is being unfair you. And you're right, people tell you to pray and read, which is fine, but that is not going to take what you feel away. I really think God wants you to have raw faith despite everything you are going through. I will give you an article to explain this. Please add me on Facebook. I will pm you my name on Facebook or you can pm me your Facebook link so i can send you the article

Okay ill add u and we can talk... Ill try and resurrect my account

 

[Jim beaux]

I am in the same boat. I refused to lie to clients, and was let go from a job I had for over a decade. I am now trying VERY hard to get a new job, with little success. God is NOWHERE to be found, as far as I can tell. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't send me Jesus died for your salvation stuff, as I don't doubt my salvation as much as I doubt God cares what happens to me on this earth, even when I have done His EXPRESS WILL to my peril. I can trust someone who is not perfect for not helping me, but God IS perfect, so I can no longer trust Him, and this makes all the rest of my relationship with Him doubtful if not useless. Some will call this blasphemy, but so be it, as it is how things are. I know things can change as time goes on, but as time goes on I can also lose my house, my ability to feed and clothe my family, so the whole "God's timing" thing is irrelevant as far as I am concerned.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I am in the same boat. I refused to lie to clients, and was let go from a job I had for over a decade. I am now trying VERY hard to get a new job, with little success. God is NOWHERE to be found, as far as I can tell. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't send me Jesus died for your salvation stuff, as I don't doubt my salvation as much as I doubt God cares what happens to me on this earth, even when I have done His EXPRESS WILL to my peril. I can trust someone who is not perfect for not helping me, but God IS perfect, so I can no longer trust Him, and this makes all the rest of my relationship with Him doubtful if not useless. Some will call this blasphemy, but so be it, as it is how things are. I know things can change as time goes on, but as time goes on I can also lose my house, my ability to feed and clothe my family, so the whole "God's timing" thing is irrelevant as far as I am concerned.

Sometimes I regret making alot of the threads I do..because I don't feel this way about god anymore.. However, its okay to be mad,,,and oats even healthier to express it. In your own time I pray you come back to GOd...or trust him,if you haven't left.

 

[Jim beaux]

Sometimes I regret making alot of the threads I do..because I don't feel this way about god anymore.. However, its okay to be mad,,,and oats even healthier to express it. In your own time I pray you come back to GOd...or trust him,if you haven't left.

Thank you for your reply. Another "wonderful" happening today, and, again, I feel like a nothing as I PLEAD with God for help, and He ignores me as if He wasn't even there, or I wasn't there. Something has to give, and since God is either all powerful, and doesn't HAVE to give, or He is non-existent and he CAN'T give. I don't know which is my belief as of yet, but one of the two HAS to be true of a God as He is described in the Bible. There aren't any other options.

 

[Jim beaux]

Oh, and I should mentioned that I was, again with no rescue or help from God, molested by an adult male REPEATEDLY when I was 12 years old, and this too has affected my life, though not as much as when it happened. How can we humans continue to call on such a god, or call Him good when we see all of this? The Bible (God) blames it one the wickedness of humans. Fair enough, but that it a description, not anything helpful. If a cop walks down the street, sees a woman being beat over the head, and then raped, and he does nothing, but simply says, "wow, people are sure evil in this city! do we praise him or fire him, if not arrest him?!!? mutatis mutandis re:God.

 

[Jeshu]

Oh, and I should mentioned that I was, again with no rescue or help from God, molested by an adult male REPEATEDLY when I was 12 years old, and this too has affected my life, though not as much as when it happened. How can we humans continue to call on such a god, or call Him good when we see all of this? The Bible (God) blames it one the wickedness of humans. Fair enough, but that it a description, not anything helpful. If a cop walks down the street, sees a woman being beat over the head, and then raped, and he does nothing, but simply says, "wow, people are sure evil in this city! do we praise him or fire him, if not arrest him?!!? mutatis mutandis re:God.

The best is to understand that God is good but the truth of evil is bad. To blame God for the wrongs that happened in your life only tells me you don't know God but have certainly bumped into the devil ruling this planet down here.

Remember?

Jesus is innocently crucified to death - (sadly you do as well here!)

As you know such causes darkness and distress like has not been known before to exist - its called hell - that is where we send God when we judge Him guilty of evil's crimes. Or haven't you heard the call yet my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

I also suffer from P.T.S.D, I was sexually assault and almost murdered by three young men at the tender age of 11 or 12 it has, and is still, causing me untold misery.

However now I know God suffered everything along with me and never left my side and protected my life and got me through this far - even making me stronger than depression can bring to bear. God has turned everything upside down in my life let me assure you - for that is the right way up - so best fasten your seat belt brother otherwise you going to tumble a long way down again when the switch comes. Even out of the bad experience you have had as a kid He can make something good come from it - honestly true.

Honest! Jesus is innocent of any wrong doing and so our Heavenly Father, hollowed be His Holy Name!

I wrote a poem about the experience which contains much more meaningfulness to me than the event itself could ever justify without Jesus redeeming me from it.

Surviving Murder.

All is blurring blurring...
I'm choking.....
death is closing in fast
I can't breath any longer....
I just want to give in..

The coldness is taking hold,
Light is departing fast...
In utter darkness to be....
The pain inside my chest..
Agonising fire!

"Hey you..., fight on!
Its time, time to strike back...
Awake, death cannot part,
Life from you!
You may not die!"

So I fight on...,

No one may harm -
on all God's Holy Hill!
Ever!

"Yes, hear well - no one,
No, no one, may harm!
No one murdered,
No killing anyone ever!
Feel the fire...
Receive the Love..,
Light up the holy fire....!
Be alive!"

All around, yes all around,
A wall impenetrable,
Holy fire surrounding,
Completely encircling,
My Whole Life!

 

[knw1991]

Oh, and I should mentioned that I was, again with no rescue or help from God, molested by an adult male REPEATEDLY when I was 12 years old, and this too has affected my life, though not as much as when it happened. How can we humans continue to call on such a god, or call Him good when we see all of this? The Bible (God) blames it one the wickedness of humans. Fair enough, but that it a description, not anything helpful. If a cop walks down the street, sees a woman being beat over the head, and then raped, and he does nothing, but simply says, "wow, people are sure evil in this city! do we praise him or fire him, if not arrest him?!!? mutatis mutandis re:God.

I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you and I totally understand your frustration with God, it's natural and logical. I used the same analogy about the police officer. I think we all just need to admit that we have no idea why God allows bad things because we all know he had the power to stop them but chose not to. I have heard that God uses evil circumstances to grow you in a way that having things perfect couldn't. It still doesn't make sense or justify the pain to me. Ive heard horrific stories of what happened to people. It just doesn't make sense. All I can say is be honest with God and ask him to heal you and get you to a place where you are willing to trust him. Take that trust a day at a time. Be careful who you open up to. Everyone isn't worthy of knowing your deepest hurts. Pray for wisdom on who to open up to. I will pray for you. You are not alone

 

[sheamiao]

Hey,friend I am sorry for your suffering.it seems you are born again and love God, want to lead a right life but don't know how to . Many people are in your state, I myself have questions, it is just life. But life can be changed , we have hope to live a life beyond circumstances (john10:10). Christianity is a very very practical religion,we become better off if we keep practicing it.

One way to help you is to not live on how you feel but on how you believe. Tell yourself I am made by God. God cares me. God rejoice in me. ....(check who you are in Christ in Google)since we are bought back by Jesus 'precious blood, we are perfect in Christ.the enemy is trying to lie to us, whispering we are not loved by God. So we need to totally trust we are deeply loved by God.And this belief do not fall on us everyday when we get up in the morning. We need to confess it , keep this in our mind that we are perfect and we have it all in Christ .

I keep quoting these days about John 15, which is the essence of Christianity--love one another as I have loved you. Try to help others everyday is the best way of "self help". Once you are able to lift up others from their pit,God lift yourself. There are many personal things - mind, body,soul-I can not deal by myself but many times God pour his grace on me while I am trying to love other people.

Trust God And do good So you can enjoy the pasture in Christ

Live& Grace

That is my issue... Like, I.. Sometimes I wonder why I keep coming back here because I don't feel like a Christian.... I dont read or pray... But despite what has happened-- I still believe in God ( somehow... I cant get rid of it)

I just want back what I lost, just to simply believe God liked me..and that he was happy with me. I see people on YouTube with awesome testimonies how they're so close knit with God, how God did this and that for them... And I ..i never had that. Idk why but even before the damage ( will get into soon) happen ... I had some experiences with God...mostly dreams..but it was never anything thatd make you go.." That was 100% God" idk alot of Christians make it seem like youre supposed to get an answer to every prayer, or hear clearly from God and be les by his spirit always.. ( also I still never experienced his leading..) so it just made me feel like I was defective or God just didnt like me.
--------------------------

That's one of the reason's its hard for me to trust God..bc its like he says he wants to be close, talk to you, give you his promises...BUT...it seems everyone else is able to do it but me .... So in that sense I felt like a carrot was being dangled in front of my face.

Now on to the damage..
I'm gonna make this short and bullet point it

▶ Pastor treated me differently , called my mom told her I was a liar and not to believe anything I said. Would rebuke me in front of others, asked if the spirit of Judas was in me, prophesied id be in a shelter..and told me God has mercy on whom he has mercy... And I didnt do anything to warrant that..infact before service...my brothers and I would clean her home ...and i bathed her once when she was ill ...and helped her take her medicine... So I didnt do anything mean or malicious to warrent all that.

▶ Current situation- As I've stated in other threads, I got kicked out of school.. And (gonna back track) when I was in church and what not... I feel like even when I was " blessed" itd be with Jobs I couldn't do... When id hear from someone else the job they'd have is a breeze to get through... And just the whole being in a crampt hotel with my family for 3 years...having set back after set back..

So my faith in God was forcefully eroded.. I cant trust anymore, I have no faith...accept to believe that God is...it is simply impossible for me to believe God doesn't hate me or doesn't want to do anything bad to me...like punish me or something because of the feed back from reality in getting coupled with the spiritual silence... I cant trust because I'm afraid something bad will happen..

During the whole stressful event of my faith being eroded... I even dreamt of my own death and it felt so real like itd actually happen ( I'm not suicidal and I dont want to die)... So its hard...
-----------

I honestly dont care what anyone says, you cant just read a few scriptures and everything will be fine..no.. I feel the reason we all believe in God is because we all had an experience / encounter with Him that made the book come alive. Same with all the other youtubers I see, the have faith BC God came through for them... Had he not... They wouldn't be sharing any kind of testimony...

--------

I want to trust God again...but I feel I cant... I dont want to try but I just want my faith back and dont want to assume the worse... I just feel like I'm fading away and its kind of scary..but I'm becoming apathetic, I even resigned myself to just the fact... Idk maybe I'm a pot of destruction to show Gods wrath... I dont know... God just kinda left me to my own devices.

Dont know what to do.

q

That is my issue... Like, I.. Sometimes I wonder why I keep coming back here because I don't feel like a Christian.... I dont read or pray... But despite what has happened-- I still believe in God ( somehow... I cant get rid of it)

I just want back what I lost, just to simply believe God liked me..and that he was happy with me. I see people on YouTube with awesome testimonies how they're so close knit with God, how God did this and that for them... And I ..i never had that. Idk why but even before the damage ( will get into soon) happen ... I had some experiences with God...mostly dreams..but it was never anything thatd make you go.." That was 100% God" idk alot of Christians make it seem like youre supposed to get an answer to every prayer, or hear clearly from God and be les by his spirit always.. ( also I still never experienced his leading..) so it just made me feel like I was defective or God just didnt like me.
--------------------------

That's one of the reason's its hard for me to trust God..bc its like he says he wants to be close, talk to you, give you his promises...BUT...it seems everyone else is able to do it but me .... So in that sense I felt like a carrot was being dangled in front of my face.

Now on to the damage..
I'm gonna make this short and bullet point it

▶ Pastor treated me differently , called my mom told her I was a liar and not to believe anything I said. Would rebuke me in front of others, asked if the spirit of Judas was in me, prophesied id be in a shelter..and told me God has mercy on whom he has mercy... And I didnt do anything to warrant that..infact before service...my brothers and I would clean her home ...and i bathed her once when she was ill ...and helped her take her medicine... So I didnt do anything mean or malicious to warrent all that.

▶ Current situation- As I've stated in other threads, I got kicked out of school.. And (gonna back track) when I was in church and what not... I feel like even when I was " blessed" itd be with Jobs I couldn't do... When id hear from someone else the job they'd have is a breeze to get through... And just the whole being in a crampt hotel with my family for 3 years...having set back after set back..

So my faith in God was forcefully eroded.. I cant trust anymore, I have no faith...accept to believe that God is...it is simply impossible for me to believe God doesn't hate me or doesn't want to do anything bad to me...like punish me or something because of the feed back from reality in getting coupled with the spiritual silence... I cant trust because I'm afraid something bad will happen..

During the whole stressful event of my faith being eroded... I even dreamt of my own death and it felt so real like itd actually happen ( I'm not suicidal and I dont want to die)... So its hard...
-----------

I honestly dont care what anyone says, you cant just read a few scriptures and everything will be fine..no.. I feel the reason we all believe in God is because we all had an experience / encounter with Him that made the book come alive. Same with all the other youtubers I see, the have faith BC God came through for them... Had he not... They wouldn't be sharing any kind of testimony...

--------

I want to trust God again...but I feel I cant... I dont want to try but I just want my faith back and dont want to assume the worse... I just feel like I'm fading away and its kind of scary..but I'm becoming apathetic, I even resigned myself to just the fact... Idk maybe I'm a pot of destruction to show Gods wrath... I dont know... God just kinda left me to my own devices.

Dont know what to do.

riend

 

[JamesL]

You lost faith on God because you got kicked out of school? Jesus.
I had to shower at minus -25°C degrees celsius a few days ago and I was pouring cold water over my body, while freezing to death. I washed my dishes with ice cold water for a week and my hands were destroyed, all blooded an slashed. And you think yours is a suffering?

My mother is in mental hospital, my father left me when I was little, should I go on? I can go on forever, you know.

Just think of it as a test. And until now, you're failing it. You fail everything that you believed in. And if by being successful you mean trying to be better than a bunch of YouTube losers serving the devil, who are not producing anything than a prank or two or some pointless tutorial, your goals in life are wrong and you have more to endure and suffer until you finally go on the right path.

Stop wanting more, stop wanting what people have, because for God it is right for whatever you do, to work heartily, as for him and not for men.

Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Really. I was reading your post and I just couldn't let this one slide. Yeah you are showering in cold water and your hands are destroyed (how on earth did you type this much then?). Boo hoo to you too. Ever had student loans before? Stop your comparisons.
Your attitude isn't Christian-like at all. It's more Pharisee-like condescending superior holier-than-thou attitude. Your type is the reason why people (including me) left the church. Kicked out of school is a big deal especially trying to make a living. You probably never gotten kicked out before so how would you know? Sorry your parents are in these conditions and you sure can go on forever but according your Bible: those trials are suppose to humble you, not rebuke others. Your post says otherwise. Maybe it's you who need more suffering and tribulations (and more cold water) to shut you up and stop your judging.
The person isn't failing the test. Doesn't matter if he or she fails it. Who are you to say he or she failed it? He or she is only asking for relief and help. What's wrong with wanting more and wanting what people have? It makes people better in life. That drive to succeed. Your god won't help you, only you can help yourself. And so what if he or she lost her faith in god because of extreme hard times? Man can only carry so much. If a god isn't big enough to forgive that or understand that, then maybe that god deserves second thoughts about love.

 

[Danielle Phongsay]

Hello, I just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you tonight. I pray that you stay strong through your trails and that god will speak to your heart,mind and soul. I'm going through my own trail and it's been rough, but I heard something that I can't shake, DONT GIVE UP! I know we all have great stories to tell to share with our brothers and sisters struggling all over the world. God has a plan for all of us. I may not feel close to God but I know he is there. Im going to continue to seek God, read, study, pray,worship, give to others in his name and give him all the glory. I need to trust him. Jesus needs to be my driving force to keep me focused and staying on track as well as gods word. I chose to do good always because I want to be a good person, but I know I'm a sinner and need a savior. If you want to we can share bible verses, daily devotions, prayers or just a shoulder to lean on. God loves us, so let's show it back. God bless