I've always had fatigue due to health issues from premature birth. I also have depression which can cause fatigue, but I am on Wellbutrin for it. Lately, I haven't' been sleeping well. I don't go to bed late. On weekdays I go to bed at 9. But sleep has been hit or miss. Some nights I sleep well, although I never feel rested. Other nights, like last night, I'll come back from going to the bathroom and can't go back to sleep. Sometimes this will last for hours with me not being able to go back to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, if at all.
I am in a program for people with disabilities, and sometimes I call in when I don't feel well enough to go, usually when I wake up and can't go back to sleep. I am considering quitting the program all together, although they assured me that they're happy to have me when I can come.
But this day program is the most interaction I get with people. I can't drive and the bus system is unreliable and difficult to figure out, and I often don't have the energy to trudge to the bus stop. If I quit the alternative would be to stay home all day with my Mom who has depression. And it's just not healthy to spend all one's time around one person.
I am having a meeting with the program's founder on Monday to discuss what can be done. I feel hopeless. I think "if i can't attend for a few hours, then what will the rest of my life be like? I won't be able to hold down even a part time job." I feel like a failure, worthless, like life is passing me by. And I don't sit on my butt and do nothing. I have hobbies that I do when like shooting my bow, writing, reading, or making jewelry, if I am not too tired, but those things don't feel like enough. I am on SSI.
With fatigue some days are worse than others.
I am thinking maybe I have insomnia. I feel angry or irritable most of the time or want to cry a lot, or am too tired to care about much of anything.
Please pray that God shows me, my Mom , and the program founder what to do.
I am in a program for people with disabilities, and sometimes I call in when I don't feel well enough to go, usually when I wake up and can't go back to sleep. I am considering quitting the program all together, although they assured me that they're happy to have me when I can come.
But this day program is the most interaction I get with people. I can't drive and the bus system is unreliable and difficult to figure out, and I often don't have the energy to trudge to the bus stop. If I quit the alternative would be to stay home all day with my Mom who has depression. And it's just not healthy to spend all one's time around one person.
I am having a meeting with the program's founder on Monday to discuss what can be done. I feel hopeless. I think "if i can't attend for a few hours, then what will the rest of my life be like? I won't be able to hold down even a part time job." I feel like a failure, worthless, like life is passing me by. And I don't sit on my butt and do nothing. I have hobbies that I do when like shooting my bow, writing, reading, or making jewelry, if I am not too tired, but those things don't feel like enough. I am on SSI.
With fatigue some days are worse than others.
I am thinking maybe I have insomnia. I feel angry or irritable most of the time or want to cry a lot, or am too tired to care about much of anything.
Please pray that God shows me, my Mom , and the program founder what to do.
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