i have suffered with doubts about salvation for 6 years, its lead to deep depression. ive been misunderstood by unsaved loved ones who i could never explain to why i was depressed. they assumed it was a personal issue, but explaining to a nonbeliever that you are depressed about your salvation and feel like God is ignoring your pain, would be pointless, they would never understand. what hurts the most is that God has been silent, he has not help me. no matter what torment i face in my mind God has not helped me. maybe he just isnt in my life afterall which i what i feared, i can ask over and over to be saved but it wont take the doubt away. i question if i really believe im a sinner, if i really believe i deserve to go to hell for my sins, i question if i really trust that Christ died for me and was buried and rose again. i question every step of the way. i told god that in order for me to be saved i must trust in Christ but i dont know how to do that. in order to trust in christ i must believe im a sinner and need to be saved , but the holy spirit has never convicted me of sin. when people come to Christ he changes them and they are a new creature. this didnt happen to me. i came to christ in 2011, and tried thousands of times afterward because i continued to sin though i tried not to, i didnt experience closeness to God, hear God, i didnt love others , i was afraid to witness to people about Christ and salvation. there are so many reasons i did not believe i was saved.
im just realy hurt and angry with God for abandoning me in this torment,leaving me to look llike a fool to family members that are nonbelievers. ive wasted my life on this. god doesnt care, hes indifferent to it all. at my very lowest, hopeless, depressed, i CALLED OUT FOR GOD, AND HE WAS NOT THERE! I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW THAT IS LOVE, MERCY.
GOD HATES ME
i question if i really believe im a sinner
i continued to sin though i tried not to
Everyone sins, Christ is the only one who never has, but everyone else continues to.
I'd study the bible you'll learn a lot that most pastors don't know.
Matthew chapter 4 verse 4
Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"
Romans chapter 1 verse 28
Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.
John chapter 8 verse 31,32
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, " If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
2 John
9 Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.
Job chapter 23 verse 12
I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.
Matthew 11
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Luke chapter 21
33 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
Romans chapter 10
17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.
Mark chapter 13
31 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
James chapter 1
25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
James chapter 4
8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Isaiah chapter 45 verse 19
I have not spoken in secret, from somewhere in a land of darkness; I have not said to Jacob's descendants, 'Seek me in vain.' I, the LORD, speak the truth; I declare what is right.
Jeremiah chapter 9
24 but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.
Jeremiah chapter 5 verse 1
5 “Go up and down the streets of Jerusalem,
look around and consider,
search through her squares.
If you can find but one person
who deals honestly and seeks the truth,
I will forgive this city.
Psalm 119 verse 114
You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.