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I don't know how to move on

Runaway

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Ok i'm new here...i hope it's ok to post this here?
This year will be three years since our divorce. We were married for almost 18 years since we were teenagers. We have three teenagers and we coparent really well together.
He was my best friend and my biggest supporter. We went through a lot dealing with abuse from my past, dealing with that stuff and he was always by my side.
Eventually, i went "crazy" from all the stuff i was dealing with. My PTSD was too much and i "ran away". Not that i completely left and had nothing to do with him or our kids. They mean everything to me. But i stopped trying. I started spiraling downhill fast and i made a lot of mistakes that are hard to come back from.
I will always love him and he's still always there for me, but he wants and needs peace now. He tried so hard to keep us together and i stopped believing in us...in God...in everything for a while.
Now, i feel stuck. I don't know where i'm supposed to be or what God's plan is for my life. I feel like i messed that all up and i don't even know where to go from here.
 

dayhiker

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Hi Runaway .... Welcome to CF.
That trauma can be a pretty hard thing to deal with. I know a couple of ladies pretty well who are working with past traumas.
Have you done any counselling? There are counsellors that deal specifically with trauma. I think having someone who has
training can help you in a way that even your husband and all the love he had can't help.
 
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Why should you move on? If your husband has not moved into a new relationship, you should aim to reconcile with him. But first you need to sort out your own problems. Be straight with him that you love him and would like to reconcile but not until you have gotten professional help. Ask him if he is prepared to wait.
 
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smithed64

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Runaway,
Put your trust in Christ.
That's where you go...to Him. Get involved with your church if you haven't already. Put Christ first, then your children, then your ex, then yourself.
You first must go to your children and your ex and ask for forgiveness, if you haven't already. Then you must forgive them.
You have to do this before you even get down to prayer. The bible tells us if we have an issue with a brother, then we must go to them and seek forgiveness, then go to Him in prayer.
Seek out Christ, make Him your number one in your life. Live this life and speak the gospel to your husband if he is lost, if he isn't, continue to live your life for Christ. God can make things happen. YOu just have to put your trust in Him. And if it doesn't happen, trust Him even more. Seek Him out in His word. He will open doors for you and lead you the right way.
 
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