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I don't know how open I want to be about this but....

Discussion in 'Struggles with Sexuality' started by lordworshipper, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. lordworshipper

    lordworshipper Free minded rational believer

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    I've been in the closet about my homosexual attraction problem since as far back as I can remember. I don't act upon my urges, but I often feel that it's hard to hold back forever, and feel great temptations, sometimes so much that I want to give up trying to be celibate. I know I shouldn't, so I don't, as I really don't want to sin. I don't want to go to hell. I don't want to do bad.

    I wish this could be easier. I wish it weren't a sin. I wish I could just have a husband and it not be a sin, and have kids, and be normal. But its not the case. What I wish I had is someone who could relate to, to talk to me and pray with me when I need strength to fight my feelings. I don't have that at home, but perhaps I won't get that anywhere, but its the only place I beleive i can get help with it.

    I wasn't sure I wanted to make a post on this, I feel like I'm opening myself up way too much by doing so. But this is me, this is how I feel, this is how I am. I'm 20 years old, and I've got many decades left to fight this. But for now, while I get used to it, I need a friend who understands what I'm going through.

    I did try some exgay therapies, and even the methods my friend was taught when he was over at exodus, it didn't work.

    So if anyone wants to, just message me. I'm looking forward to making some friends. :wave:
     
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  2. writergirl4god

    writergirl4god Newbie

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    Thanks for sharing so openly. :) I don't struggle with homosexuality myself, but have a young Christian friend who does, and for him I've learned a lot and talked to other people with this issue - and I've really fervently prayed and hurt with him over this. So although I haven't 'been there' myself, I do understand quite a bit and I will definitely be in prayer for you.

    E-hugs from sister in Christ,
    Jess

    PS - If you have truly accepted Jesus as your savior you WILL NOT go to hell. Please don't worry about that, okay?
     
  3. lordworshipper

    lordworshipper Free minded rational believer

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    Thanks for your support!
     
  4. ianjones

    ianjones Newbie

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    I responded to you in another post. I will also message you.
     
  5. ianjones

    ianjones Newbie

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    I just joined, so it looks like I won't be able to PM you until I have 15 posts.
     
  6. lordworshipper

    lordworshipper Free minded rational believer

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    thanks!
     
  7. jgt50

    jgt50 Newbie

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    Lutheran
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    As we Christians we are to love others as Christ did and help them to stay on the path of righteousness. We all sin and God is never going to give us easy. That is why God's gift to us will be eternal life in a perfect world. So while we are here we will have temptation and sin come at us. The enemy comes at us harder the more we walk with the holy spirit in trying to get us to sin. From what you wrote you have the holy spirit with you as you have not given into the lusts of the flesh , Paul wrote about this as he struggled as we all do. There is help on the web. go to exodus international, they have been helping Christians for 30 years who struggle with this issue. You have my love and support. God loves you and he is aware you want to be free. Only he can do that and only he can change us.
     
  8. PilgrimToChrist

    PilgrimToChrist Well-Known Member

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    I would avoid the ex-gay programs. There are programs like Courage (Catholic-oriented but open to all people) which avoid the ex-gay process by not trying to push people to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. Indeed, some ex-gay programs involve sin to try to avoid sin, which is quite messed up. There's no real reason to try to force yourself to be attracted to women. Aversion therapies just tend to mess people up even more.

    Is homosexuality a disorder? If human sexuality is properly ordered towards the reproduction of the species, and since homosexuality is not ordered towards that end, it is disordered. But that doesn't mean we know how to turn someone who is exclusively homosexual into someone who is exclusively heterosexual and there has been a lot of collateral damage in attempting to do so.

    The ex-gay movement has one of the same problems as the gay movement -- labeling. When I've watched LGBT folk (including myself) come out, in their baby stage which I refer to as the "rainbow stage" (because that's when we tend to plaster everything with rainbow pins and bumper stickers, buy gay books, etc.) and as they mature, they tend to quiet down about it (though there are always those activists who stay loud). With the ex-gay movement, people don't mature for a long time because they label themselves as being (ex-)gay.

    So here's my theory -- I am not my sexuality. I am not ashamed of having loved the women I've dated, even if now I recognize that love should not have gone beyond friendship into the realm of romance and sexuality. But I am not my sexuality. The media constantly bombards us with romantic and sexual imagery, as though it is the epitome of life. But life is bigger than that. There will always be cute guys and you will, in all likelihood, always have some attraction to them. There will always be a temptation to view pornography (especially in this age of the Internet when it seems like an entirely private act), but the more you overcome these temptations and not let yourself be bested by them, the easier it will be. Figure out what you are interested in, develop a hobby, focus on your prayer life, school and work.

    Just don't stress out about it or else you'll freak out and end up doing things you'll regret.

    Take care,
    ~ Pilgrim
     
  9. jdog4god

    jdog4god Jdog4God

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    I completely understand where your coming from. I too am going through the same struggle and have been for the past couple of yrs. I'm 18. I posted a thread about my struggle in december, if you go to my profile you can read it. I can tell you now that looking at it as a burden will only make it that much harder to overcome. I use to have the same view, "why me?", "what did i do to deserve this?", "why give this kind of a struggle to someone who loves you and desires to live a life you approve of?". But then I also realized that God said he will not give us anything that we can't handle. Although it may seem like the whole world is on your shoulders, you are not alone and cannot expect to come out of this alone. Remember that the same sovereign God who created Heaven, Earth and life itself is on your side. Remember that God loves you tremendously, there are no limits to his love. In the words of Winston Churchill: " Never give in!" And remember this: whatever your problem, God can handle it. Your job is to keep persevering until He does. And pray for patience, that's one the things I still struggle with today. Remember it's not in our time, but Gods. Do not put yourself in a position where you can be tempted! We live in a temptation generation: you can find temptation is lots of place, your job is to AVOID those places. And most importantly, NEVER lose hope. Anything is possible with God!!! :) It may help to view this as an opportunity to really get to know God and grow a deep relationship with him. Do not worry brother, you are not alone and there is hope for you yet :) I will be praying for you.
     
  10. Patrickjames

    Patrickjames Newbie

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    Hey mate,
    There is hope, i'm going through it as well, the main thing i think you need to understand is that there is no quick fix, the healing process will probably take a long time, it's taking me far longer than i wish it would but i've learned to be patient and lean on Gods grace as he walks me through it.
    if you want to chat more I'm up for it!


    Patrick.
     
  11. Spiritualized

    Spiritualized God Loves YOU

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    Hi there, you are not alone.. I too am going through exactly the same problem, and I am also 20 years old. (Male). Feels like a long old fight ahead.. if you want to talk at all I'll be happy to although we need 15 posts or more to PM. God bless, Spiritualized
     
  12. 777dannyray777

    777dannyray777 Newbie

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    I'm 15 and going through the same thing. All I do is pray that God will deliver me from homosexuality and transform me into a heterosexual me and into a whole new creation and I have faith God will do so. Feel free to message me, I would like to open up with you more. God bless you. :)
     
  13. 777dannyray777

    777dannyray777 Newbie

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    Just don't give up the faith in Jesus Christ. The Only Way, the only Truth, the Only Life, the One and Only Faihful and True God.
     
  14. jdog4god

    jdog4god Jdog4God

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    Hows it going guys? I posted in this topic earlier and i am here to tell you that God is working strongly in my life and transforming me day by day. An important note, try to stop focusing on solutions and just focus on God the giver. I found myself always searching for solutions to this problem that i would sometimes lose sight of God in the midst of it. I can tell you now, that I have never felt God changing me the way he is now ever before. It is because I stopped trying to find solutions and just focused on him. Don't worry anything, but pray about everything. You need to ask God to come in your heart and change your feelings about homosexuality. Repent and ask forgiveness for any past sins, ditch the porn and masturbation, and let God work in your life. Remember you are NOT in control so stop trying to do things your way. Let go of any past sins you may still be holding on to, let God take away the guilty conscience and revive you with new life from all your transgressions as he has done in me. NEVER stop seeking him and NEVER stop praying. Prayer is POWERFUL and does work!!! Keep focusing on God and let him do what needs to be done. God Bless all of you who are struggling with this. He is slowly bringing me out of this and will do the same for you all if you trust him and let him.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 18, 2010
  15. Sosaku

    Sosaku Newbie

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    I'm sort of having the same problem, but I like being homosexual, why is it that I have to change? (I am truly thinking about what I am saying, I don't want to be rude or offensive) I accepted Christ as my savior at 6, around 8 I began having homosexual feelings. Well, at church camp, I rededicated my life to Christ at the age of 13, because I was overcontrolled with my homosexual feelings that almost EVERY guy I saw, I would imagine myself with him. I felt the same ever since, and 3yrs later, here I am, a homosexual still, but afraid to come out for fear of being disowned by my parents. I don't feel it's right that a homosexual must be a heterosexual to have a relationship with GOD, then I heard that people who are gay go to hell, so I began to give up, and now here I am, posting this because I am thinking of giving up on a GOD who discriminates against gays, and going wiccan. It's my nature to love someone, and my love didn't focus on women, I love men, and if I am going to hell for it, I'd like to know, so I can know if I should just go ahead and worship whomever I'd like instead of being fake when I go to church, lying every day of my life, or maybe that's the real sin of homosexuality, lying about it to everyone you know, love, and care for? I don't know, I'm only 16, but I've thought about this a lot because I feel differently than my parents, and apparently GOD, and I don't want to give up those feelings.
     
  16. overcomer2010

    overcomer2010 Newbie

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    Hello bro I'll be praying for you too.Sorry can't PM you yet, but just be here to pray for you..I'm suffering the same thing with you, but being with Christian friends and always focusing my life to Jesus leads me as overcomer.
     
  17. Chaplain David

    Chaplain David CF Chaplain Staff Member Chaplain Supporter Recovery Team

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    I know that what you are going through is difficult and I admire your willingness to try and live the way God wants us to live. Everyone here is in my prayers. God bless.
     
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