I dont even have hope anymore

[monique2018]

I read that when God wants something from us we know it in our hearts and we feel peace and freedom because He respects our free will. Ocd works opposite. But fat wee robin post make me feel if its true

 

[Mari17]

I read that when God wants something from us we know it in our hearts and we feel peace and freedom because He respects our free will. Ocd works opposite. But fat wee robin post make me feel if its true

There will always be something to make us think it is true. It's just bothering you because that is your obsession right now. But if you weren't obsessing, it wouldn't make you feel so terrible. And sometimes there are things we need to give up, but truly needing to limit something or give something up is a way different feeling from an obsessive need to give something up. I know your OCD makes you confused about the difference, but I think deep down you can kind of "feel" the difference....right?

 

[monique2018]

Yes deep down I always knew but with Gods or inner voice I don't (( and this is terible because u can't put God in a box and tel what He can and can not do ..

 

[Mari17]

Yes deep down I always knew but with Gods or inner voice I don't (( and this is terible because u can't put God in a box and tel what He can and can not do ..

No, you can't...but that's what those of us with OCD have to learn to be OK with. It's quite possible that we'll mess up, and we can't know for sure that we're doing the right thing. BUT usually when it feels obsessive, it is. And what we have to learn to do is trust in God's grace. That's our biggest weakness, is feeling like WE have to figure out exactly the right thing and do it perfectly. But we don't have to, because God is our perfection. He knows that we are human, and we have to trust Him enough to trust that He will have mercy on us even if we do make the wrong call and treat something as OCD when it isn't. Also, when treating OCD, it always feels like we're doing the wrong thing and going against God/our conscience/etc. But the only way to overcome is to move forward even if we're feeling that doubt. Otherwise, the OCD will continue to control us. If we take the risk and treat it as OCD, we nearly always find out that it was OCD after all. But if we stay "safe" and continue to give into the obsessive urges, it keeps getting stronger and stronger. So yeah, it does feel scary to say no to the OCD. But the only other option is to keep saying yes to it - which never works very well either.

 

[Subaru17]

Hi Monique,

What you are experiencing is a classic case of OCD, are you currently seeing anyone and/or taking any medication?

I have gone through many many bad times with OCD and I know how bad it can be but you have to fight it. Find someone in church you are comfortable to talk to and understands mental illnesses.

As for fatweerobin I understand how you feel but you cannot take that as a sign or let that effect your ocd worse.

There was a period in my life where all it would have taken was someone like fatweerobin to tell me I was the anti-Christ for me to believe it, would that have made me the anti-Christ?

Currently I am fighting OCD. I believe that I have to be a missionary for a church that believes they are the only ones going to heaven because I made a deal to be forgiven for blasphemy and being the antichrist when I was 14.

Does that sound real?

Ofcourse not but I feel the same way about that as the way you feel about your situation. I fear that I will never be happy or be able to move forward with any feeling of peace.

The good news is we can’t both be right in our conviction.

You need to get help and to improve your situation.

Pm me anytime

 

[monique2018]

Mari and Subaru thank you so much for you posts, Finally I feel like someone understand me 100%.
Mari,
I know I have to learn how to be patient but for me this already took 3 years of my life and even if I am ignoring it it wont get better, just changing around the same subject. It's bloody exhausting. I feel so guilty every day and feel like I can't pray anymore or I am scared of God or feel like people who don't believe have better life (( But of course I don't blame ocd about that(taking me away from God so its obviously not from Him) but I am blaming myself for not doing what God wants(if Iwould agree with thoughts and did what they telling me I would get finally peace,but because I am greedy and materialistic I fight this thoughts). Can I ask you what kind of thoughts are u having or you prefer not to write about it?

Subaru yes yes yes I exactly know what you talking about, I tend to connect certain situations and "signs from God" even with few years apart and creating a obsessive story which only make sense for me. I totally undrrstand and being Anti Christ is very common ocd thought you know that. I had a friend who thought her baby might be one of course she didn't agree but she had this thoughts bobarding her non stop. The worst thing is that this thought are so odd and weird and we re scared and ashamed to tell them to anyone in case they will think we re psycho. Of course I treat weefatrobin post as a sign as Iasked God to tell me in this thread what should I do. You should see my after I saw it, full blown panic attack tears and conviction I have to do it. Its still make me feel so bad ((

 

[Mari17]

Mari and Subaru thank you so much for you posts, Finally I feel like someone understand me 100%.
Mari,
I know I have to learn how to be patient but for me this already took 3 years of my life and even if I am ignoring it it wont get better, just changing around the same subject. It's bloody exhausting. I feel so guilty every day and feel like I can't pray anymore or I am scared of God or feel like people who don't believe have better life (( But of course I don't blame ocd about that(taking me away from God so its obviously not from Him) but I am blaming myself for not doing what God wants(if Iwould agree with thoughts and did what they telling me I would get finally peace,but because I am greedy and materialistic I fight this thoughts). Can I ask you what kind of thoughts are u having or you prefer not to write about it?

Subaru yes yes yes I exactly know what you talking about, I tend to connect certain situations and "signs from God" even with few years apart and creating a obsessive story which only make sense for me. I totally undrrstand and being Anti Christ is very common ocd thought you know that. I had a friend who thought her baby might be one of course she didn't agree but she had this thoughts bobarding her non stop. The worst thing is that this thought are so odd and weird and we re scared and ashamed to tell them to anyone in case they will think we re psycho. Of course I treat weefatrobin post as a sign as Iasked God to tell me in this thread what should I do. You should see my after I saw it, full blown panic attack tears and conviction I have to do it. Its still make me feel so bad ((

Hi Monique,
I've had many types of obsessive themes, but a common one (and my most recent) is latching onto one command in the Bible and feeling like I have to have it figured out RIGHT NOW. Kind of similar to what you are doing with this obsession. Religious OCD will always make us feel like we are going against God or our conscience, but that isn't true. When we're truly going against what God wants, I think we don't usually feel this level of anguish and anxiety. In fact, sometimes we probably don't even care! It's SO hard to treat an obsession as OCD when you're right in the middle of it, but it's the only way to get better. One thing that sometimes helps me is delaying my response to the obsession. So I'll tell myself, "Well, maybe my OCD is right and I do need to change this. But it seems like OCD, so I'm not going to do anything about it right now. I will delay making a decision for awhile and then think about it again." That takes away a lot of the power from the OCD, because what OCD really wants is for us to be worried about something. It doesn't really care what. As long as you're worried and anxious, the OCD is happy. So the way to take away its power is to play games with it. When it says, "Maybe God really does want you to give everything away!" - instead of acting scared of it and trying to argue against it, say, "Oh, you're right, maybe He does." That will make probably make you really scared if you tell yourself something like that, but it's a good way to suck some of the power from the OCD. Because it wants you to be afraid and anxious and overthinking things in your head. But if you pretend to agree with it (even if deep down you know it's telling you a lie), then you're making yourself scared, and beating the OCD to it. So your OCD won't know what to do.

Your feelings are taking over your mind right now, so what you have to do is focus on your actions. If OCD sends you a fearful thought, either ignore it or tease it by pretending to agree with it. Be silly if you have to. "Wow, OCD, that's a very scary thought! Thank you for sending that to me!" But, whatever you do, do not give into whatever OCD wants you to do. It's giving you a false promise of peace - "If you just do this, you'll feel better!" But that's a lie. It will always ask more of you, and as soon as you to what it asks in order to feel better, it will find something else for you to worried about. It will take over your life if you let it. Keep doing what you want to do, not what OCD wants you to. In this case, that means NOT giving away any more stuff. It will feel wrong, like you're saying no to your conscience, but you're actually saying no to your OCD. What I had to tell myself during my latest obsession is this: "It feels wrong not to do this, but it seems like an obsession, so I'm not going to do anything about it right now. If I still feel like I need to do something later, I will. But not right now. I will not make any decisions while fear is still influencing me. I won't make any decisions just to make my anxiety feel better." That was so hard to do, and I had to practice over and over. But after a long time, my brain eventually remembered again how to be in charge, instead of letting the OCD be in charge. So now I am able to think about the whole matter clearly, and to see how fearful I was being. Now I am able to make a logical decision, instead of making a decision based on fear. This is what you have to do, too. It sounds like you already know how to treat your obsessions, so you have to put it into practice, even if it is hard. If you do give into the obsession, you will only make it stronger, so keep trying to make decisions that take the power away from OCD, instead of giving it more power. I know that with God's help, you can do this!

 

[Mari17]

This is a link to a video series that I found very helpful in understanding how OCD works, and how we can fight against that way of thinking. I especially like the last four videos.
“The Noise in Your Head”

 

[ST673]

Keep it simple . God thinks it seems that you have made an Idol out of fashion ,jewellery etc and what is the First commandment ? No idols which keep you from God .
Forget the OCD, it is your concience telling you to change .Start by being charitable and asking the women at church to give your clothes ,most of them, to those who need them ,as AKA describe said .
Your OCD will pass when the Holy Spirit no longer needs to prompt you .Nor does it mean you can never have a new dress or whatever ,but for now and quite a while ,your addiction to 'earthly ' glamour must be denied .
It is like a drug ,but the only drug you really need is the healing love of Jesus Christ ,all the rest is superficial . When you give up the 'drug' ,you will feel withdrawal symptoms ,let them pass ,and afterwards you will have peace ,wonderful peace .

Monique

Keep it simple . God thinks it seems that you have made an Idol out of fashion ,jewellery etc and what is the First commandment ? No idols which keep you from God .
Forget the OCD, it is your concience telling you to change .Start by being charitable and asking the women at church to give your clothes ,most of them, to those who need them ,as AKA describe said .
Your OCD will pass when the Holy Spirit no longer needs to prompt you .Nor does it mean you can never have a new dress or whatever ,but for now and quite a while ,your addiction to 'earthly ' glamour must be denied .
It is like a drug ,but the only drug you really need is the healing love of Jesus Christ ,all the rest is superficial . When you give up the 'drug' ,you will feel withdrawal symptoms ,let them pass ,and afterwards you will have peace ,wonderful peace .

Monique please be careful reading comments like this from someone potentially unfamiliar with OCD.

 

[ST673]

I just can't relax just crying my eyes out now because fat wee robin said exactly what my ocd is telling me I am done I don't even have a life anymore

Please please please ignore the comment from fat wee Robin! It is extremely harmful when someone says things like to those of us with ocd. You do have a life and you can get better from this OCD. Its debilitating and awful at times but there is hope. Posting on here may have saved my life so please let it help you from those who are knowledgeable and please ignore the comments that try to validate ocd. Private message me if needed.

 

[ST673]

I don't know but maybe its not OCD but God, I will never be sure, it will kill me..I have so many panic attacks lately cant even drive car anymore

OCD makes you feel like it's God but I think that if from God it would be more peaceful and reassuring whereas ocd is just torment and dread causing us to do things. God is full of mercy and grace and love. Please learn about your ocd and get help. ❤

 

[ST673]

This is a link to a video series that I found very helpful in understanding how OCD works, and how we can fight against that way of thinking. I especially like the last four videos.
“The Noise in Your Head”

I wish something could be done about the comments that could potentially cause so much harm. This is so upsetting

 

[monique2018]

Mari,
you poor thing I feel like this kind of OCD is the worst make your mind feel so tired and exhausted and u never really can find the truth.. when I had harm Ocd it was a hell on earth but at least I had a help in God but now I feel I am doing stuff against Him and I have nowhere to go! what a terrible disorder this ocd is. I am always thinking where is God when we struggle so much, when we ask Him to step in and clear stuff up for us?I pray so hard and instead of clear answers I am getting more ocd thoughts for example"I am saying God please tell me what to do, tell me now in way I will know-and at the same moment I am getting thought-give away everything which feels like its from God. How u can not believ it?this is so unfair and really impossible to treat. Why God is not going to at least stop this thoughts so I know they re not from Him?I feel like I will never get better

Blairwhit thank u so much for your posts!!!they made me cry again because I seriously still can not get over fat wee robin post, I ve been reading it so many times, looking for a meaning in every world, latching to the words"most of clothes"not all of them so I still don't have to borrow stuff to wear etc. I know it will take long time for me to get rid of this post from my mind. There is small voice in my head telling me that is a sign from God and truth I don't want to agree with. Literally killing me! She said everything my ocd is telling me so its so hard to ignore..

 

[ST673]

Mari,
you poor thing I feel like this kind of OCD is the worst make your mind feel so tired and exhausted and u never really can find the truth.. when I had harm Ocd it was a hell on earth but at least I had a help in God but now I feel I am doing stuff against Him and I have nowhere to go! what a terrible disorder this ocd is. I am always thinking where is God when we struggle so much, when we ask Him to step in and clear stuff up for us?I pray so hard and instead of clear answers I am getting more ocd thoughts for example"I am saying God please tell me what to do, tell me now in way I will know-and at the same moment I am getting thought-give away everything which feels like its from God. How u can not believ it?this is so unfair and really impossible to treat. Why God is not going to at least stop this thoughts so I know they re not from Him?I feel like I will never get better

Blairwhit thank u so much for your posts!!!they made me cry again because I seriously still can not get over fat wee robin post, I ve been reading it so many times, looking for a meaning in every world, latching to the words"most of clothes"not all of them so I still don't have to borrow stuff to wear etc. I know it will take long time for me to get rid of this post from my mind. There is small voice in my head telling me that is a sign from God and truth I don't want to agree with. Literally killing me! She said everything my ocd is telling me so its so hard to ignore..

I understand. Like my friend Mari taught me, do the opposite of what the ocd is telling you to do or making you feel you have to do and trust that IF it is God he has mercy and grace. But please find help, it's so important.

 

[Rescued One]

Monique

Monique please be careful reading comments like this from someone potentially unfamiliar with OCD.

Yes, I just hate it when people butt in and act as if someone's OCD or any other concern is sinful!!

 

[Subaru17]

Yes, I just hate it when people butt in and act as if someone's OCD or any other concern is sinful!!

Yes or attribute mental illness to demonic forces or demons in general. That’s always good to do. “ don’t worry you aren’t having a mental health issue...it’s just the demons.....” that always helps people who have anxiety

 

[Subaru17]

Monique, if you feel like you can’t better or that this will never change then you should get help and be pro-active. No one will think you are “psycho” it’s important to live the best life you can and not to suffer endlessly from traps you set for yourself in your own mind

 

[Rescued One]

Yes or attribute mental illness to demonic forces or demons in general. That’s always good to do. “ don’t worry you aren’t having a mental health issue...it’s just the demons.....” that always helps people who have anxiety

I was told to get rid of my glasses and have faith!

 

[monique2018]

I made an appointment with my therapist who specialize with ocd, but he is not religious so I have no hope he will help with that

People like fat wee robin don't care, they just enjoy to make u feel miserable, make a confusion and judge without knowing you.

 

[monique2018]

I have to share something with you guys because I am just in the middle of hysteria
My mum send me gift for my b-day-earrings she paid quite a lot for them I didn't know otherwise I wouldn't ever let her spend so much on me, she also send some Mother Mary pendants for my daughters and Mother Mary blessed at church ikon. It got me very emotional when I opened a box and started crying and kissing ikon and praying for Mother Mary to heal me and give me that balance in my life without crazy thought of giving everything away, this was really honest prayer and first thought I get doing it was"I don't want to to have balance but make crazy things for God like giving everything away", u can imagine my reaction the thought was so real I started shaking and it make me sick, no I am crying and feel so confused because I just decited to go ahead and treat all this thoughts as a rubbish. I don't want to give away those earrings, it will be sad for my mum Why God not helping me, I am one big anxiety right now someone help me pleasee