I don’t want to go to church.

[Neostarwcc]

My church has been a great comfort for me for over the last two years but I find myself trying to attend less and less. Especially when my church is an hour away and I have to be in the car for two hours every Sunday. It gets quite annoying and costly. Of course my elder and Deacon always offer to pay for gas but I feel badly just taking money from them even for food and to pay my rent once. Our congregation isn't the largest (maybe about 40 people) so I feel really bad taking their money. Especially when I was hospitalized in New Hampsire last year for blood clots. The church gave me $500 so I could take a cab home.

I always put some money in everytime I attend because I feel guilty taking so much money from the church in the two years I've been attending. And let's face it, I'm an introvert. So every luncheon and every Christmas, Easter, even refromation day I try to stay far from the church because I don't want to socialize with the congregants and I'm afraid they would make fun of me. It doesn't matter how close I am to my elder (We're like inseparable friends) my elder is all I talk to. So I attend Church maybe 1 to 2 times a month. Not good and I feel guilty for not attending. Every single social event I don't attend and now I feel like not attending at all. What should I do?

 

[Maria Billingsley]

My church has been a great comfort for me for over the last two years but I find myself trying to attend less and less. Especially when my church is an hour away and I have to be in the car for two hours every Sunday. It gets quite annoying and costly. Of course my elder and Deacon always offer to pay for gas but I feel badly just taking money from them even for food and to pay my rent once. Our congregation isn't the largest (maybe about 40 people) so I feel really bad taking their money. Especially when I was hospitalized in New Hampsire last year for blood clots. The church gave me $500 so I could take a cab home.

I always put some money in everytime I attend because I feel guilty taking so much money from the church in the two years I've been attending. And let's face it, I'm an introvert. So every luncheon and every Christmas, Easter, even refromation day I try to stay far from the church because I don't want to socialize with the congregants and I'm afraid they would make fun of me. It doesn't matter how close I am to my elder (We're like inseparable friends) my elder is all I talk to. So I attend Church maybe 1 to 2 times a month. Not good and I feel guilty for not attending. Every single social event I don't attend and now I feel like not attending at all. What should I do?

Seems you are plagued with much unnecessary guilt. Pray for relief from such insecurity. Your loved by your spiritual community and any thoughts otherwise are works of the adversary. Break away from his hold on you and rebuke his control over your thoughts. Then begin by giving back.
Blessings.

 

[Tskjesusfreak]

My church has been a great comfort for me for over the last two years but I find myself trying to attend less and less. Especially when my church is an hour away and I have to be in the car for two hours every Sunday. It gets quite annoying and costly. Of course my elder and Deacon always offer to pay for gas but I feel badly just taking money from them even for food and to pay my rent once. Our congregation isn't the largest (maybe about 40 people) so I feel really bad taking their money. Especially when I was hospitalized in New Hampsire last year for blood clots. The church gave me $500 so I could take a cab home.

I always put some money in everytime I attend because I feel guilty taking so much money from the church in the two years I've been attending. And let's face it, I'm an introvert. So every luncheon and every Christmas, Easter, even refromation day I try to stay far from the church because I don't want to socialize with the congregants and I'm afraid they would make fun of me. It doesn't matter how close I am to my elder (We're like inseparable friends) my elder is all I talk to. So I attend Church maybe 1 to 2 times a month. Not good and I feel guilty for not attending. Every single social event I don't attend and now I feel like not attending at all. What should I do?

I'm praying for you!!! Think about it this way, you not being part of your church and doing things with your church is a disservice to your church. Your church LOVES you!!! Plus this is pride issue. I'm going to pray for you!!!

 

[Neostarwcc]

I'm praying for you!!! Think about it this way, you not being part of your church and doing things with your church is a disservice to your church. Your church LOVES you!!! Plus this is pride issue. I'm going to pray for you!!!

Most of the congregation doesn't even know I exist. There's one woman around my age that always says hi and offered to give us a meal but really our Elder is our only friend. His wife is nice to us as well but I don't talk to her everyday like I do Larry. But it's like everyday the church is over 40 people (we sometimes get people from our sister church in Watertown) I don't want to attend. Thanks for your prayers.

 

[JesseBassett]

Hello,
I am praying for you as well. One thing I try to remember is Church is not the building you worship in but the people in it. So if you can find a small group of believers, you may find that the idea of Church changes.

God bless!

 

[By_the_Book]

My church has been a great comfort for me for over the last two years but I find myself trying to attend less and less. Especially when my church is an hour away and I have to be in the car for two hours every Sunday. It gets quite annoying and costly. Of course my elder and Deacon always offer to pay for gas but I feel badly just taking money from them even for food and to pay my rent once. Our congregation isn't the largest (maybe about 40 people) so I feel really bad taking their money. Especially when I was hospitalized in New Hampsire last year for blood clots. The church gave me $500 so I could take a cab home.

I always put some money in everytime I attend because I feel guilty taking so much money from the church in the two years I've been attending. And let's face it, I'm an introvert. So every luncheon and every Christmas, Easter, even refromation day I try to stay far from the church because I don't want to socialize with the congregants and I'm afraid they would make fun of me. It doesn't matter how close I am to my elder (We're like inseparable friends) my elder is all I talk to. So I attend Church maybe 1 to 2 times a month. Not good and I feel guilty for not attending. Every single social event I don't attend and now I feel like not attending at all. What should I do?

Don't be so hard on yourself. Twice a month is half the time. You should go when you are able and your circumstances allow.

 

[Lost Witness]

My church has been a great comfort for me for over the last two years but I find myself trying to attend less and less. Especially when my church is an hour away and I have to be in the car for two hours every Sunday. It gets quite annoying and costly. Of course my elder and Deacon always offer to pay for gas but I feel badly just taking money from them even for food and to pay my rent once. Our congregation isn't the largest (maybe about 40 people) so I feel really bad taking their money. Especially when I was hospitalized in New Hampsire last year for blood clots. The church gave me $500 so I could take a cab home.

I always put some money in everytime I attend because I feel guilty taking so much money from the church in the two years I've been attending. And let's face it, I'm an introvert. So every luncheon and every Christmas, Easter, even refromation day I try to stay far from the church because I don't want to socialize with the congregants and I'm afraid they would make fun of me. It doesn't matter how close I am to my elder (We're like inseparable friends) my elder is all I talk to. So I attend Church maybe 1 to 2 times a month. Not good and I feel guilty for not attending. Every single social event I don't attend and now I feel like not attending at all. What should I do?

No Online Sermon?

 

[Carl Emerson]

Feeling guilty about being supported is likely to be frustrating God's Grace and Love.

You should ask for an opportunity to share this issue with the elder you mention and pray with him about it.

This will require some humility on your part.

Let's know how you get on.

I have been close to the bread line for years and have learned not to resist help.

We travel an hour each way to church also and have to trust for provision - This has taught us dependance on Him which is a treasure.

I went to the super market the other day and had a max amount of cash. I put what was in the basket on the conveyer in order of necessity.

When the cash machine arrived at the cash amount and I still had 1/3 of the items to buy another customer in line at the checkout had been watching and tapped me on the shoulder offering to pay for the rest of the items. I could have said no, but if Jesus was offering to pay would I refuse? So we ate well that week.. with much thankfulness.

 

[carrico]

Said a special prayer for you. Perhaps you could find a church closer to home? I think the money given to you is a blessing. If people love to bless others, let them.

 

[Neostarwcc]

Said a special prayer for you. Perhaps you could find a church closer to home? I think the money given to you is a blessing. If people love to bless others, let them.

There is no other reformed church in upstate ny. The closest one would be our sister church in Watertown and that's 3 hours away instead of 1 hour. It's very difficult to find a church unless you're Catholic or willing to let heretical doctrines be spewed in your face. I'm not just talking about Arminianism I'm talking about true heresy. Like there is a church in town that opens its doors to whatever you believe, even if you believe Jesus is a flying spaghetti monster are anti trinitarian ....whatever you believe is welcome. Not a good church for sure.

 

[Neostarwcc]

Feeling guilty about being supported is likely to be frustrating God's Grace and Love.

You should ask for an opportunity to share this issue with the elder you mention and pray with him about it.

This will require some humility on your part.

Let's know how you get on.

I have been close to the bread line for years and have learned not to resist help.

We travel an hour each way to church also and have to trust for provision - This has taught us dependance on Him which is a treasure.

I went to the super market the other day and had a max amount of cash. I put what was in the basket on the conveyer in order of necessity.

When the cash machine arrived at the cash amount and I still had 1/3 of the items to buy another customer in line at the checkout had been watching and tapped me on the shoulder offering to pay for the rest of the items. I could have said no, but if Jesus was offering to pay would I refuse? So we ate well that week.. with much thankfulness.

I have to say, you're probably right. Larry doesn't see it that way he sees it as a great chance to help the poor and to do God's work. All of his congregants are medium to high class. My wife and I are the only poor members so he sees it as a great way to help his congregants instead of having to help our sister church in Watertown. Yes I will send him an email (church is canceled tomorrow so I can only assume that it's closed Sunday too because we're supposed to get another 3 inches or so).

 

[carrico]

There is no other reformed church in upstate ny. The closest one would be our sister church in Watertown and that's 3 hours away instead of 1 hour. It's very difficult to find a church unless you're Catholic or willing to let heretical doctrines be spewed in your face. I'm not just talking about Arminianism I'm talking about true heresy. Like there is a church in town that opens its doors to whatever you believe, even if you believe Jesus is a flying spaghetti monster are anti trinitarian ....whatever you believe is welcome. Not a good church for sure.

I am so sorry, I didn't think of your location. I am in the south so I pass about 23 churches on the way to my church, LOL. I totally understand. I know you want to be at church, but is there a podcast or recording you can watch from home for the days you miss? Oh, and don't get me started on those Universalist Unitarian churches. We have one about 40 min from my house. They even fly the pride flag.

 

[Neostarwcc]

I am so sorry, I didn't think of your location. I am in the south so I pass about 23 churches on the way to my church, LOL. I totally understand. I know you want to be at church, but is there a podcast or recording you can watch from home for the days you miss? Oh, and don't get me started on those Universalist Unitarian churches. We have one about 40 min from my house. They even fly the pride flag.

Luckily they don't fly the pride flag there or anywhere in town but we have some pride graffiti in our town. There are a lot of churches in the small town where I live but they're all Catholic. There's nothing wrong with Catholicism it's just not for me. Does YouTube count? I watch sermons on YouTube nearly every day.

 

[Lost Witness]

They even fly the pride flag.

churches like that are all over were i live in New york

 

[godisagardener]

Neostarwcc said "...I find myself trying to attend less and less."

I belong to a very small church also, around 30 members. I love the people there, mostly enjoy get-togethers, but also have periods when I don't look forward to going, even dread it. Even with so few people, at times it feels smothering. Like you, I'm an introvert, I'm not much of a talker, more a listener. But at the same time, I'm involved in Sunday School and committees, which makes socializing a little easier.

I'm curious as to why you attend church an hour away from your home? Have you considered attending somewhere closer? Is it possible some of the guilt you feel at accepting money is because you live too far away to get involved in church programs on a regular basis ?

I'd suggest praying about the situation and talking with your elder about it.

Praying for you.

 

[Neostarwcc]

churches like that are all over were i live in New york

Luckily there are no churches in this town that fly the pride flag. Just some graffiti on our Walgreens.

 

[Lost Witness]

Luckily there are no churches in this town that fly the pride flag. Just some graffiti on our Walgreens.

Ik what you mean. I've been fighting off compulsion to go into one of them a few blocks away. ik at some point i won't be able to resist it any longer

 

[Neostarwcc]

Neostarwcc said "...I find myself trying to attend less and less."

I belong to a very small church also, around 30 members. I love the people there, mostly enjoy get-togethers, but also have periods when I don't look forward to going, even dread it. Even with so few people, at times it feels smothering. Like you, I'm an introvert, I'm not much of a talker, more a listener. But at the same time, I'm involved in Sunday School and committees, which makes socializing a little easier.

I'm curious as to why you attend church an hour away from your home? Have you considered attending somewhere closer? Is it possible some of the guilt you feel at accepting money is because you live too far away to get involved in church programs on a regular basis ?

I'd suggest praying about the situation and talking with your elder about it.

Praying for you.

Yeah they had a potluck about a month ago with our sister church in Watertown. There was over 100 people there! I felt so smothered, I attended for the service and left after church was over, skipped the potluck. I'm glad in a way that I'm an hour away because I have an excuse. Larry (the head Elder at our church) understands that I'm an hour away and can't participate much.

No I don't mind not being able to participate in every event. I prefer it actually to be completely honest. I just attend to hear Larry preach and for the worship. My wife on the other hand loves going. I was I had her enthusiasm.

 

[Neostarwcc]

Ik what you mean. I've been fighting off compulsion to go into one of them a few blocks away. ik at some point i won't be able to resist it any longer

Idk, I understand false preaching and usually avoid Churches like that. Or churches that are like "I heard God talk the other day and he said to me..." we have a few churches like that here too. I didn't even stay to hear the rest of the sermon. I just walked right out.

 

[lismore]

What should I do?

Church leaders/ members are encouraged by people attending. Whether you know it or not your very presence there is an encouragement. You will be an encouragement to your elder friend. What you are feeling is an issue common to man, out of a church of forty you won't be the only one who feels like you do. I would advise you to attend, pray, do your best, even just a shy hello to someone else can go a long way. Do it for their sake and for the cause of the Lord. God Bless