I don’t want to be a servant.

Questioning Brother

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?
 

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?

Hi Questioning Brother,
Appears you are doing some good, honest, soul searching work ...
may God continue to bless your efforts. :blush:

Assuming your difficulty is in thinking of yourself as a 'servant' of the Lord, here are my thoughts:

When we know we need the Lord, we become willing ... if not eager ... to serve Him.

When we know we need the Lord, we want to serve Him, out of love and gratitude towards Him.


The key to accepting the idea of servanthood is in seeing one's need for a Savior ...
 
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NerdGirl

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?

First, pray on it. Ask God to give you His eyes, and His understanding on the topic of "servitude".

Then, take some time to think about what it really means for us as Christians. The earthly depictions of servants and slaves that we're familiar with are often quite horrid, sad, violent, demeaning, humiliating, dehumanizing. Images of people without a voice, without any rights, without any dignity. Nobody would desire that! Bear in mind that God isn't interested in crushing our spirits or breaking us under His thumb. That's not what Christian servitude means.

Have you ever done something kind for someone you loved deeply, that you weren't required to do? Something that this person simply needed, and you felt compelled to put your own comfort, convenience, and wants aside, and you were glad to help them instead of looking after yourself first?

That's what it is :)

Now, maybe you've never experienced that. You admit in your OP that you'd rather be served than to serve another. If that's still how you feel, even after you gain a deeper understanding of what servitude means in Christ, then all that's left is for Him to work on your heart. And He can.
 
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Kenny'sID

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?

At least you want to fix that. I'd guess there are multitudes that call themself Christians, that are not servants and my be completely oblivios to the fact they should be.

This is something I need to be more aware of myself.
 
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bèlla

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Most people have no desire to serve others. Not in the manner the Lord requires. We do it selectively. Choosing those who've won our heart, loyalty, or admiration. But He desires the same for everyone.

You've made progress. Acknowledging your difficulty in being a servant is an important step. You know the stumbling block and the way forward is easier than walking in the dark. You're not fumbling around anymore. You've hit the target.

I believe servitude is innate. Not only spiritually but naturally so. Some people are wired to serve and they aren't believers. I've known a lot. Its in their nature. Others come to a similar position through time and practice.

Yielding begins with understanding your condition and God's position. Recognizing your need for His guidance and loving-kindness. The best way to grasp it is by recollecting who you were before you found Him and the man you've become since then. Look at the journey you've taken thus far. Who would you be without Him?

The gravity of your response will allow you to grasp the lack you'd have without His presence. We're nothing without him. Until you confront that nothingness you'll never bend.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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eleos1954

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?

Many times in His Word .... service is equated with worship.

Goes without saying we are to love one another and serve (help) one another (not worship one another of course) this can be ministering help or some other kind of help.

Seems there are many different ways to serve the Lord.

Whether serving the Lord or one another the motivation must be out of love. Not so sure it's the quantity or type of service ... but the quality of service .... ie is love the motivator.

Seems the Lord is huge on what motivates us to do or not to do .... attitude. Is what we are doing sincere and heartfelt? Not expecting anything in return.
 
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Hazelelponi

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?

What do you/did you do for a living? Was it ever not in service to others?

In our modern day no matter how high up in the company your working in the service of others.

If CEO your working in the service of your investors, if you own the business your working in the service of your customers, if in management your working in the service of those both below and above you in position... If your a husband you work in the service of your family to make sure their needs are met..

So on and so forth. Even Potiphar worked in the service of the Pharoah - and at his pleasure..

It's a matter of choice. You choose your job, you choose your family all through your life you chose whom you will serve...

As a Christian your son of the Most High King and Lord... but you don't have to choose to serve Him. As the Bible says, "choose this day whom you will serve... as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

After a life of service to others, the position of the son of the King isn't something to balk at, and it's as far from degrading as one can get.
 
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ISteveB

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?
When I get in places where God shows me who I really am, I've learned that I need to admit it, and then ask him to work in me both to will, and to do of his Good pleasure.
Philippians 2:12-14

12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing,​

God knows who we are long before he called us (Psalms 139). He knows our selfishnesses, and the deep engrained desires to not be like Jesus..... It's why we learn obedience through suffering. Hebrews 5:6-9.

It's not easy, but it does work, and only by continuing to trust in the Lord, and not lean on our own understanding are we able to move forward. Proverbs 3:3-8.

I want to encourage you to talk to God about it, admit it, and then keep following Jesus. 1 John 1:9.
 
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DiscipleHeLovesToo

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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?

actually, i agree with you - but when we receive spiritual rebirth, we don't become mere servants (as in 'slaves'), we become sons (and daughters):

(Rom 8:12) Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.
(Rom 8:13) For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
(Rom 8:14) For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
(Rom 8:15) For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
(Rom 8:16) The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
(Rom 8:17) And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
(emphasis added by me)

my father in the flesh wasn't perfect, but i knew he loved me and sacrificed for me by investing his time and resources helping me rather than in himself; this made me want to obey him as a servant would, but out or gratitude, not fear (which motivates a slave to serve their master).

God's love toward me is the same whether i serve Him or not; but if i don't serve Him out of a son's gratitude, my love toward Him won't be strong enough to enable me to believe Him when there are a multitude of reports from the world and my own body that conflict with His Word (His Report) when i'm facing a situation that can steal, kill, and/or destroy in my life.

(Rom 8:17) And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

the scripture verse above harmonizes with ones we've looked at before:

(2Pe 1:2) Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord,
(2Pe 1:3) According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
(2Pe 1:4) Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
(emphasis added by me)

the reason we can expect 'all things that pertain to life and godliness' is because God has made us 'heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ' - God will never die, so He hasn't given us an inheritance that we'll never receive, but one that we can receive even as He lives. this was a practice in ancient times, that sons and daughters inherited what their flesh parents had by yielding to their flesh parents' leading and following their direction, even while their flesh parents still lived on the earth:

(Luk 15:11) And he said, A certain man had two sons:
(Luk 15:12) And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.
(Luk 15:13) And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
(Luk 15:14) And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
(Luk 15:15) And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
(Luk 15:16) And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.
(Luk 15:17) And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
(Luk 15:18) I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,
(Luk 15:19) And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.
(Luk 15:20) And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
(Luk 15:21) And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
(Luk 15:22) But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:
(Luk 15:23) And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:
(Luk 15:24) For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.
(Luk 15:25) Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

(Luk 15:26) And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.
(Luk 15:27) And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.
(Luk 15:28) And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.
(Luk 15:29) And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:
(Luk 15:30) But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

(Luk 15:31) And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.
(Luk 15:32) It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

(emphasis added by me)

does this make sense?
 
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Joined2krist

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To love others sometimes you might need to serve them when you do this God usually rewards you in return. Perhaps He might fill your heart with joy, peace, give you health etc, please read psalm 103, it says God gives you lots of benefits in return for your service.
 
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I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Trying to find what may be the issue with things in my life. I stumbled on this particular truth about myself the other day. I really don’t want to be a servant of any stripe. In fact if listed things on a scale of 1 to 100 with heaven at 1 and hell at 100 the last four things listed before hell would be paid servant(98), unpaid servant (98.5, not paid, but free to leave), indentured servitude slavery (99, contracted slavery), and chattel slavery(99.5, what we think of as slavery).

intellectually, and even internally, I know this isn’t the attitude I am supposed to have, but it is the truth. I want to be served, not serve. Maybe I am looking at it wrong. I don’t know. I do need to figure out what to do about this. Any thoughts?
You have to be blessed before you can bless others. Instead of thinking that you have to be a servant why not be happy over usefulness? Instead of being walked all over by everyone why don't you just be their friends?

I'm sorry to say this but if you are a creature then you are a slave and so there is no escape from being a slave because we have to have food and shelter and protection. It's quite an existential problem. I hope you can find enough value in life to live it.
 
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Knee V

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If we naturally wanted to lay aside our own egos and serve others, Christ wouldn't have had to tell us to do so. You are not the first to not want to serve.

In the end, do we desire Christ, or do we not desire Him? If we do, then the only way to find Him is to humble ourselves. While that is difficult, it IS as straightforward as that. We can gain the world and lose our souls, or we can lose the world and keep our souls. If we can understand that and learn the importance of making that our priority, then, even though it will still be hard, it will become a joy to serve others.
 
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