I didn’t know where else to post this but...

[wesf]

I know Jesus is the answer to this but I don’t feel like I can even reach out to Him anymore. I have lost the relationship that I had and I really can’t seem to get back connected to the real power source.

I am Hurt...

Because I feel like the men in my church doesn’t care enough about me to sincerely ask how I’m doing or feeling (aside from one), That my feelings don’t matter, my opinions don’t matter, my loss don’t matter. No one from the church calls me to just talk, they only call if they want something.

I am hurt because over the last several years, no one noticed my decline nor the changes in my attitude.

I am hurt because when I needed them, they weren’t there and still aren’t. It’s been 2 years now, but really longer, more like 5 years since tragedy struck.

I am hurt because when I was going through hell, and everything was crumbling around me, I held it together for my wife and kids because I felt like I had to be the rock. All the while slowly losing the man I was, piece by piece; chip by chip. No one was there to encourage me.

I am hurt because I now am so weary and beat down and I feel like no one is there to pick me up.

I’m hurt because now when I voice a complaint, I feel like I get in trouble and I am made feel that my complaints are irrational.

I am in a deep pit... one I can’t seem to get out of. I’ve lost my Joy and my worship and I am scared that I am on the verge of really walking away.

You wonder why I am blunt and short with people... here’s a good portion of why.

 

[Basil the Great]

wesf - Welcome to the forums. Sadly, people often let us down in life, even many Christians. I recall one situation in particular many years ago. We had a young adult (but adult) Bible study group and a disabled member of the group told me that another member of the group raped him. Shocking as his claim was, I never doubted my friend's story. Still, there are many good people in this world, including many Christians.

I am not sure what to say to you. I am deeply sorry that so many around you have not shown the compassion that you needed. Try and realize that even when our fellow human beings disappoint us, we still have God that cares for us. As tough as this life is, and it can be very tough for some people, all of us still have the afterlife ahead of us. Hopefully, the life to come will be a better one for many/most of us here at Christian Forums. Sometimes people get busy with their own problems and do not recognize when others are in need. This may or may not be the case with some of the men in your church.

I am concerned, for it sounds like you could be in fairly serious depression. Have you discussed this yet with a physician and/or a trained counselor/pastor? Depression can often turn into a downward spiral and unless one gets a handle on it, then it can end up lasting a long time. You might want to consider switching churches. I do not know if that would help or not, but it is worth pondering. I will pray for you tonight. May God send you His peace and hopefully better days are ahead for you.

 

[EzekielsWheels]

I thank you for sharing what you're going through and I'm sorry that you feel people have not been there for you in the way you want them to be. I'm not exactly sure from your post what the original issue is that led to your feeling this way but I pray the Lord leads you out of the darkness that you are experiencing.

Maybe try switching things up by volunteering and trying to help others. Be for others what you want them to be for you and that way you can lead by example.

 

[Basil the Great]

EzekielsWheels makes a good point. I have found that often the best way to deal with depression is to do some volunteer work and help others in need.

 

[ilovejcsog]

Welcome to the club. I've been there, we all have. God works through counselors. If nothing else they are a good sounding board. Try to get a Christian Counselor if this will work for you. They are not personally attached and so can be objective and offer sound advice. Do try to seek help. You may feel alone but you are not. There are many many of us. Group settings are very helpful and most counseling offers them. On another thread someone mentioned volunteering. It gets you away from self when helping others. It is also a place to make new friends. Keep praying for help, you know it is always in Gods time even though it can be a terribly long time We are all here to help as much as we can but we are not professionals. We do know how to listen. It doesn't sound like you have spoken to you wife about it. If not, keep speaking until she listens. She might not understand how dire it is to you. Sorry about the spelling of counselor, I never get it right so it is probably wrong
Don't get discouraged concerning your walk or lack of it. It is hard to get back in but you must. We all have come short of the glory of God.
STAY STRONG, your family needs you happy and healthy. Never forget how much God loves you.

 

[Rescued One]

I know Jesus is the answer to this but I don’t feel like I can even reach out to Him anymore. I have lost the relationship that I had and I really can’t seem to get back connected to the real power source.

I am Hurt...

Because I feel like the men in my church doesn’t care enough about me to sincerely ask how I’m doing or feeling (aside from one), That my feelings don’t matter, my opinions don’t matter, my loss don’t matter. No one from the church calls me to just talk, they only call if they want something.

I'm sorry. Some people are like robots, I think. It's as if they aren't really there.
Some of us who have been hurt in that way, ask God to help us encourage others who are sad and downtrodden.

I am hurt because over the last several years, no one noticed my decline nor the changes in my attitude.

I am hurt because when I needed them, they weren’t there and still aren’t. It’s been 2 years now, but really longer, more like 5 years since tragedy struck.

I am hurt because when I was going through hell, and everything was crumbling around me, I held it together for my wife and kids because I felt like I had to be the rock. All the while slowly losing the man I was, piece by piece; chip by chip. No one was there to encourage me.

I am hurt because I now am so weary and beat down and I feel like no one is there to pick me up.

God is the only One Who can pick us up when we're in that place. It's such a terrible place to be, we have to tell Him how we want to help others but don't know where to begin.

I’m hurt because now when I voice a complaint, I feel like I get in trouble and I am made feel that my complaints are irrational.

I understand. I learned I should only tell people what I like or enjoy rather than what I don't like. I'm old now (I admit it) and I've learned a lot, but still need self-reminding in that.

I am in a deep pit... one I can’t seem to get out of. I’ve lost my Joy and my worship and I am scared that I am on the verge of really walking away.

You wonder why I am blunt and short with people... here’s a good portion of why.

Don't give up! I went through a nightmarish time years ago. It was hard to sleep. I would get up and go downstairs to read the Psalms. The Psalmist had some real struggles and it helped me to know I wasn't the only one!

Maybe you could try another church and get a fresh start.

Anyway, there are some great caring prayer warriors here at CF.

God bless you, Wes!

 

[Rescued One]

I found an article:

"Are you one looking for encouragement and appreciation? Then I have a suggestion for you: Encourage someone around you. Give to them what you are looking to receive, and you will be surprised how it will return back to you a hundredfold."
Be an Encourager

If this isn't helpful to you (I hope it is) it will certainly help me!

 

[mmksparbud]

Yes--I too understand. I learned one thing---there is no one to turn to but God no matter how many friends you may or may not have. I learned to not depend on anyone but Him. People let you down---God doesn't. You are looking for help and support and comfort from people and that leads to estrangement from God. At the very bottom of my pit I reached up to God and, IN FAITH, I accept4ed that Jesus loved me and was there for me, whether I felt Him or not. I had been looking for some sort of feeling for confirmation that He herd me--I accepted that He did and started talking to Him again and just believed He heard and would answer my prayers as He saw fit regardless of how I felt. I discovered He had never left, He was waiting for me to make Him my comforter.

Remember that at Christ's most difficult time--His friends were not there for Him and Jesus said--My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?--At that point, Jesus was strictly on faith.

 

[DennisTate]

I know Jesus is the answer to this but I don’t feel like I can even reach out to Him anymore. I have lost the relationship that I had and I really can’t seem to get back connected to the real power source.

I am Hurt...

Because I feel like the men in my church doesn’t care enough about me to sincerely ask how I’m doing or feeling (aside from one), That my feelings don’t matter, my opinions don’t matter, my loss don’t matter. No one from the church calls me to just talk, they only call if they want something.

I am hurt because over the last several years, no one noticed my decline nor the changes in my attitude.

I am hurt because when I needed them, they weren’t there and still aren’t. It’s been 2 years now, but really longer, more like 5 years since tragedy struck.

I am hurt because when I was going through hell, and everything was crumbling around me, I held it together for my wife and kids because I felt like I had to be the rock. All the while slowly losing the man I was, piece by piece; chip by chip. No one was there to encourage me.

I am hurt because I now am so weary and beat down and I feel like no one is there to pick me up.

I’m hurt because now when I voice a complaint, I feel like I get in trouble and I am made feel that my complaints are irrational.

I am in a deep pit... one I can’t seem to get out of. I’ve lost my Joy and my worship and I am scared that I am on the verge of really walking away.

You wonder why I am blunt and short with people... here’s a good portion of why.

Please keep on praying........
because that place where you are now often comes before Messiah Yeshua - Jesus takes us up to a whole new level of understanding.........

In a way.... you are going through your own Gethsemanie type of event........
when Messiah Yeshua - Jesus prayed until his sweat was blood.... but his disciples could not
stay awake for one hour to pray with him.......

One option is go to a place alone to pray..... perhaps in your car........
so that you have more privacy while praying........

Matthew 14:23

And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.

 

[LightLoveHope]

I know Jesus is the answer to this but I don’t feel like I can even reach out to Him anymore. I have lost the relationship that I had and I really can’t seem to get back connected to the real power source.

I am Hurt...

Because I feel like the men in my church doesn’t care enough about me to sincerely ask how I’m doing or feeling (aside from one), That my feelings don’t matter, my opinions don’t matter, my loss don’t matter. No one from the church calls me to just talk, they only call if they want something.

I am hurt because over the last several years, no one noticed my decline nor the changes in my attitude.

I am hurt because when I needed them, they weren’t there and still aren’t. It’s been 2 years now, but really longer, more like 5 years since tragedy struck.

I am hurt because when I was going through hell, and everything was crumbling around me, I held it together for my wife and kids because I felt like I had to be the rock. All the while slowly losing the man I was, piece by piece; chip by chip. No one was there to encourage me.

I am hurt because I now am so weary and beat down and I feel like no one is there to pick me up.

I’m hurt because now when I voice a complaint, I feel like I get in trouble and I am made feel that my complaints are irrational.

I am in a deep pit... one I can’t seem to get out of. I’ve lost my Joy and my worship and I am scared that I am on the verge of really walking away.

You wonder why I am blunt and short with people... here’s a good portion of why.

Here is the problem. Have you died to yourself? Do you accept that there is nothing worthy of praise or success in your life, that no one owes you anything, but you owe others everything?

Jesus said you have to lose your life to gain it.
And it is true. We do not deserve anything we get from anyone, it is a blessing and a gift each new day. And it is a gift because Jesus died for us, to bring us out of the emotional ups and downs of life, into love, support and forgiveness.

I was 18, on a christian ministry ship amongst believers, not related to or understood, alone, completely isolated. I felt that if I died it would make no difference. In that moment of sadness, I broke. I wanted attention, to be needed, to be a focus, to have something, yet that was not who I was in Christ. I remember the pain, and how I could of ended it all at that point.

The spiritual reality is once we defend this hurt, and demand we deserve attention and feel angry that we are not getting it, we push people away, we close down, we stop loving and being open and supportive and put more and more layers of selfishness and defence. No one can get close to us because it hurts, which makes us more defensive, and slowly we die inside. Jesus is saying, let this hurt be public, let this hurt be there and take the risk of being hurt again. Let love and understanding from within become the flow of life one lives by.

So brother, it is a painful road to life, but it is also simple. If we exalt defence and pushing love and forgiveness away we die, but if we walk the road of pain and openness, we gain life and all we hope for, an apparent contradiction, though so very true.

God bless you, the Lord loves you and so do I.

 

[Mydreams]

Lord please hear this prayer and bless wesf, in Jesus gracious name, Amen!

 

[SWIll]

Prayers brother

 

[Tolworth John]

I don’t feel like I can even reach out to Him anymore

Jesus has promised never to let go of us.

So as has already been suggested please talk to someone, your doctor, minister, your wife.

If you are suffering from depression you need help. Even if you are not you still need help.

Please do talk to someone about your feelings.

 

[LoricaLady]

It seems that the underlying issue is that something has hurt you very badly - not just the treatment by Church members - and you need healing. You reached out for support and didn't get it at all. I have to say that I have seen many people on this site lamenting the fact that they found Church members to be cold and indifferent or sometimes worse. Now some do find their Churches satisfactory but it seems the one you went to is one of the kinds that people complain about.

Yes only the Father can heal us but He does want us to be kind and supportive to those who are hurting so there was nothing wrong at all with you hoping to get some comfort especially in a Church.
I pray for your healing and that you will be led to good friends - and it doesn't have to be in a Church -where you can have a mural support system.

 

[Greg Merrill]

Father, I see that the church has let this one down, but a good thing can come out of this (Romans 8:28). I pray this one will come to have such a trust and reliance upon You, that whether the church let's him down or not, whether anyone or anything let's him down or not, it will not get him down because of his trust and dependence upon You. What an important lesson to learn. May he learn it and apply it well, and be sooo blessed because of it. Amen.

 

[Stephanie7]

Heavenly Father, I pray for blessings to come upon this one, for much love and encouragement and renewed hope to be bestowed upon him and his family, In Jesus Name, Amen

Sometimes, people won't show it, but they are feeling the same.

 

[aylynfaith]

Psalm 118:8 King James Version (KJV)
8 It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.