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I can't stop thinking about how unfair life is

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by ssammoh, May 15, 2014.

  1. ssammoh

    ssammoh Just another kid

    When I was in elementary school I cried every day because I didn't want to go to school. Most other kids didn't cry about it. I don't understand why I was so upset, but I was.

    My mom let me eat too many oreos in middle school and now I will be sick for the rest of my life.

    When I was a little kid I heard my parents fight almost every night.

    There have been countless times where I thought I was going to die.

    I thought I died in my sleep and went to Hell for months.

    Every day I feel sick and scared. Why do I have to be sick and have anxiety??? And why did I have to have such a bad childhood? Why me?
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. parsley

    parsley .

    Last edited: May 18, 2014
  3. seeingeyes

    seeingeyes Newbie

    (What lifelong illness is caused by eating too many oreos? The only one I can think of is type 2 diabetes, but that's not necessarily permanent.)

    Anxiety is a rough one. Your parents' arguing probably didn't help that. But you are nearly an adult now. You don't have to be that kid trying to block out the sound of her parents yelling. You have a whole year to finish off your "childhood" on a high note.

    What would you like to do?
  4. BFine

    BFine Seed Planter

    Calvary Chapel
    I know that in this world we will have sorrows, tribulations, disappointments etc....
    but take heart Christ overcame this world and He can help you to overcome it
    as well.

    I know it is possible to rise out of whatever "hell" that one can encounter in this life...
    do you know my story?
    Here's a look at my early life-- I was born into abject poverty in North Carolina, my
    family lived in a racist area and we endured much persecution and hardships.
    Black people were held in very low regard, we were suppose to "Know our place"
    and to bow to their rule.
    We lived in a shack, no electricity, no indoor plumbing --just a rustic 4 room wooden
    structure with a tin roof.

    As a young black child I faced being sexual abused/harassed by a family member
    and suffered through the inappropriate things the white men would say about black
    girls, it was pretty degrading talk.
    I told it all to the Lord and changes came in the form of us moving, the family member
    joining the Army and I learned to stand up for myself and I would speak the Word of
    God to them and that brought about changes in how certain ones would treat me.

    Going to school...
    I dreaded school but I also enjoyed learning, a real love/hate relationship with school
    began early in life. School life wasn't easy for me either, I stutter and this made it
    especially hard, I got made fun of a lot, by students and some of the teachers.

    As I got into high school, things didn't improve much for me there either.... I had to
    see a guidance counselor since I was a black female from a "single parent home" (my
    mom was widowed in her thirties) -- the teachers didn't care about that, to them it
    was all the same as being an unmarried woman who had children. They didn't consider
    my faith, all they saw when they looked at me was another black girl who would wind
    up on welfare with a bunch of out of wedlock children. I know this because I'd seen
    my student files and I also overheard them talking about me. I took the course
    that taught us girls how to cook, take care of home and children-- so I could be prepared for
    my lot in life. The 1980's was when teen pregnancies increased -- and eyes were on
    me, as to say-- You're next! This wasn't to be, I wasn't running around with boys
    nor was I having sex and I wasn't going to parties or putting myself in situations
    where a guy could pressure me into sex. Since I was a teen girl saying no and meaning
    it, it didn't take long for the guys to leave me alone.

    The only person who believed in me and my dreams/goals was my mom. She prayed
    for me all the time (she does that for all her children.) I could only look to God to get
    me through those times and He did that! Often people would come in and out of my
    life just to encourage me or to be a blessing in some way that I needed it.

    I asked the Lord to establish me in life, I didn't have any family members who were
    well off... I had God and I knew that He's the real owner and creator of everything and it
    would be the Lord who would get me into the right place or places so I could bloom/prosper.
    God opened doors for me when no one else could!
    I went to work for a nursing agency and in time I found a client who needed someone
    full time and the family approved of my work and eventually they bought out my contract
    with the agency and I went to work privately for that family.

    It wasn't all rosy there either, they had some prejudices to overcome and in time we would all become real close.
    The mom was my client and later on her daughter would also be my client.
    When the mom died, the daughter inherited a fortune and according to her mom's wishes she gave me a nice share of what she inherited and a couple of years later before I got married in 2002, the daughter made it possible for me to retire at age 37!
    That had been a dream of mine for SO long!
    I had no idea how in the world it would come to be-- I just kept talking to God
    about it and I kept sensing in my spirit that He was going to work it all out, and so He did!

    I could easily of allowed all the bad stuff in life that happened to me to rule over me
    but I choose to apply the Word of God in my life, I learned to take thoughts captive
    and make them submit to Christ. I learned the importance of putting on the full armor
    of God each day. Through much prayer and seeking out those who could mentor me
    and be prayer partners, I matured spiritually and became a stronger Christian.
    You don't have to face battles alone, get yourself connected with mature Christians
    in your area who can mentor you, find a mature Christian woman who can be a
    prayer partner or get connected with several ladies who can be your prayer partners.

    It doesn't profit us---
    I don't believe we should sit around so much wondering why did this happen to me
    or trying to figure out all the whys.
    Since we are now Christians we are to understand that in this world we will face trials and tribulations, we should remember that as Christians
    we are targets of the enemy(the devil) and he's here to kill, steal and destroy-- the devil
    aim is to derail you from your faith walk, steal your joy and ultimately to destroy you
    and he will apply any method or means to keep a Christian from maturing in his or her
    That's why it's so important for a new Christian, struggling Christian, or those who are
    young to be properly discipled. I urge you to get connected with mature Christians and
    to be in the Word of God on a regular basis, to limit the amount of worldly input and
    watch your associations with people who aren't so keen on honoring God and the Bible.

    One of the most powerful things a Christian can do is forgave those who
    wounded/hurt them.
    Refusing to forgive leaves an open wound in our soul that festers into bitterness, resentment, and depression etc.
    For our own good, we simply must forgive.
    Just as we trust God for our salvation, we have to trust him to make things right
    when we forgive.
    God will heal our wound(s) so we can move on.
  5. znr

    znr Report THIS. Supporter

    What illness resulted from eating too many oreos in middle school?
  6. Goodbook

    Goodbook Reading the Bible

    In Relationship
    I dunno.. Satan likes to pick on those God loves. God sees your heart.
    Thing is..satan isnt going to win. Jesus has the victory, and you will overcome.

    I have wondered the same thoughts as you at various times..not about the oreos but just why some people are just immune and succeed and are naturally thicker skinned and hardier than I am. Why am I so weak..life was a lot harder for me as a child than for other kids. Why do I care so much about others when everyone else just puts themselves first and wants to come out top and beat everyone? It would be easier if I just copied them and tried to fit in but I don't do it.

    I realise God made me different and had a purpose for making me the way I am, putting me in a certain place and watching me..seeing if I would come to him and depend on Him. It could be the same with you. i sometimes ask God why I wasn't born in christian family with an older brother instead or perhaps a rich family or a family that spoke all the same language but then I think maybe i would take those blessings for granted and act conceited.. Because God has no use for spoiled brats?
  7. dysert

    dysert Member

    Just going off the title of the thread, I agree that life can be very unfair. Why, for example, has my brother had such a cushy and successful life while mine (through no fault of my own) has been much more challenging and much less successful? But then I can think of others I know who have lives more challenging and less successful than mine. There are always people better off than you -- and worse off. Which brings me to my first piece of advice: don't compare yourself with others.

    You can't change the past, although you can learn from it. So, for instance, you may want to watch your Oreo intake from now on. If you enter into a relationship with someone in the future, you'll want to make sure you don't get into a situation like your parents have. This brings me to my second piece of advice: don't dwell on the past (I know - easier said than done); instead, think of the vast future that you can help form for yourself.

    Finally, set some goals for yourself. Do you want to go to college? Do you want to go skydiving? Are you interested in learning a trade? Would you like to be in a committed relationship (in the future - not quite yet)? Ever been overseas? Do you like to travel? There are a ton of things you can set your sights on and work towards. At your age, time is your friend. Invest in it toward some goals and you'll be rewarded - both in this life and the next.
  8. High Fidelity

    High Fidelity Well-Known Member Supporter

    United Kingdom
    Your best bet is to consult a medical professional.

    I highly doubt anyone here is qualified to give you sound medical and psychological advice with regards to anxiety, that and it's almost certainly going to be against the rules due to liability.

    As for the rest, well, there are a lot of people a lot worse off and whether it feels like it or not, you live a privileged life.

    Take advantage of the infrastructure available in your country to attend to your medical and psychological needs.
  9. Quasicentennial

    Quasicentennial Member

    I feel much mature at my middle age now that I have reached 50. My teenage, twenties, thirties and forties were human experiences where illnesses, such as a sore tummy, back pain, migraine headaches, bladder infections became quite common and I realized that my breakthrough healthy diet and especially filtered tapwater with the most advanced technology that not only uses carbon filter to filter unnecessary chemicals and chlorine, but also ultra-violet light to destroy bacteria and other micro-organisms - just 12 months ago. I had doubts before using the advanced tapwater filter, but I had to use it to prove that this man-made invention can do away so many health problems:. Unfortunately I cannot mention my health secrets of this water filter device and the foods that I choose to eat: personal secrets that remain between my spiritual partner in my heart Lord Jesus Christ and me - to avoid jealousy or idol worship where Jesus can be replaced with my ingenuity.
    Eventually, Jesus will return to restore equality, honesty and peace where our new non-carnal transformational genius-intelligent minds of Christ, and physically perfect bodies of Christ where nobody will have exaggerated large/tall/small or mis-shapen bodies:.
    Our future society with Christ will experience "speed success" in that every single one of us, brother or sister of Christ, will overcome and resolve challenges at a faster rate to reach success with little time wasted when it comes to achieving new invention ideas or personal goals in any area of our future-coming new positive lives of Christ inside our most advanced free-for-all home accommodation city: the kingdom of God on a new Earth.;'*';.
    Rev 21:2 :liturgy:
  10. Goodbook

    Goodbook Reading the Bible

    In Relationship
    Quasicentennial has a good point, we have the Kingdom of heaven to look forward to. Thats our goal, so keep looking to Jesus and thank Him for assigning you this mission to help others get there.
  11. Kingsdotter

    Kingsdotter Guest

    (Hugs) hun, don't let yourself dwell on these depressing thoughts, if you can help it. If you can't, seek medical or psychological help for it. You do have it much better than some girls in other parts of the world (I hope you realise this). Everyone has problems, as a Christian learn to cast your cares upon God, for He cares for you. God bless.
  12. Inkachu

    Inkachu Bursting with fruit flavor!

    You aren't alone. Many people have difficult childhoods and rough lives. What matters is how you approach the life you've been given, and what you decide to do with it. You can complain about it and hate it, or you can cherish it and make it valuable and worthwhile. Believe it or not, the contentment of a person's life is determined in large part by their own attitude, not their circumstances.

    I know you're sick and scared right now. And I know that, when you're in the middle of it, it feels like this is the way it's always going to be. But I'm telling you that it does not have to stay like this. It can get better. Much, much better. The sun can shine in your mind and heart again. I promise. You've already taken the first steps, by reaching out for professional help. Changing your life takes time, little sister. It takes patience, hard work, and perseverence. It won't be easy. It won't happen as quickly as you wish it would. But as long as you persevere... there is always hope.

    Take it from me, someone who was so depressed she would cut herself, and was so riddled with anxiety that she could barely leave the house and couldn't stop obsessing over sickness and death. Today I'm largely a "normal" person. I don't panic constantly. I don't need to carry Xanax wherever I go. I can smile and laugh and go places without freaking out. My anxiety will always try to follow me and nag at me, but knowing what causes it, what triggers it, and how to keep it controlled is my key to being free. Knowing that this is an issue with my brain and my body, and that it's not something wrong with me as a person - I'm not cursed or doomed - is a very freeing thing to realize :)
  13. trulyconverted

    trulyconverted Junior Member

    Blessings ssammoh.

    A question I learned to ask myself earlier in life.... "Why not me?"

    I considered my younger years to be the most difficult - well most of my life really. It's like everything was a disaster and there was no rest emotionally/ physically. I used to say, if I had a choice I would never go through that kind of life.

    But I can say that God uses those experiences to mold us. Difficulties help build our character. I think, it is very true what they say... What does not kill us makes us stronger.

    Also, I have learned that whatever circumstances we are in, is exactly where God allowed us to be. And it is exactly what we need at that moment in time to be incorporated in that molding process.

    If we belong to God, we can be assured that on the other side (at the end of it), we become a beautifully molded person in Christ.

    And also, have you noticed that the more difficulties there is, the more opportunities there is to cling on to God. The more opportunity there is to become dependent on His timely help. And the sweeter and vital this relationship becomes to us. It's like we cling to Him like our life and sanity depended on it - because that is exactly what is happening.

    That is exactly what happens in these most difficult times in our lives, we tend to go to Him on our own volition, our actual relationship with Him becomes as essential as the air we breath in.

    To be molded can be a painful process. Therefore, pray for the Lord's joy and peace deep within you during this process. For Him to be your immovable core within the deepest of your heart, that everything in life may go awry, but you remain steadfast in Him.
  14. Emmy

    Emmy Senior Veteran

    Salvation Army
    Dear ssammoh. We know that God is Love, and that God Loves us. Life can be very hard and unfair at times, could it be that God wants us to learn to live together in Peace and Harmony? When some of us have to go through hardships, that we have to learn to love and help our brothers and sisters?
    In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells us: " The first and great Commandment is:
    " Love God with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds.
    The second is like it: Love our neighbour as we love ourselves." Jesus also points out: " on these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."
    We have to learn this, because God does never force us, God wants our Love freely given and NO conditions tagged on.
    The Bible also tells us to " Repent," and to " Be Born Again." We have to stop being selfish and unloving, and become Loving and Caring. A Christian`s
    great weapon is Love, with love we can overcome all unfairness and wrong behaviour. Matthew 7: 7-10: tells us: " ask and ye shall be given."
    We keep asking for Love and Joy, then we thank God and share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends.
    Life is not easy, and life is a great teacher, just think the difference it would make if we would all be more helpful and Loving. Jesus gave us the two Commandments to Love God and love our neighbour. We ask for Love and Joy, then we share all Love and Joy all around us. Love is very catching, and
    before long, loving and caring will change us all as God wants us to be.
    I say this with love, ssammoh. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
  15. Armistead14

    Armistead14 Newbie

    9 million children under age 5 die every year from simple things like starvation, lack of meds, clean water, etc. They belong to all faiths. They all have parents racked with grief...

    Life isn't fair, but most of us don't put our suffering and issues in line with the real suffering in the world...
  16. saved24

    saved24 Forgiven Supporter

    Praying for you! I went through some hard times in elementary school as well as high school, but I had Jesus! And He used the hard times to bring good things when I became an adult. I sure do feel for you and hope things do get better for you! don't give up! it's worth the wait!
  17. Bushman Kalahari

    Bushman Kalahari Newbie

    How bout the young children who must go to hard work as labors in poor countries like India, Indonesia, Africa n cannot go to school, without decent environment and holidays, and no sweet Oreo in their misery life.

    Didnt you take their chance ???

    Jesus bless you
  18. ssammoh

    ssammoh Just another kid

    I am aware that a lot of people have it worse off than I do.
  19. Kyle Arn

    Kyle Arn Junior Member

    Child the answer is simple you had a bad child hood and a bad life. Because all it is filled with is regret. Life is hard. If you make it that way. The worst days can soon become the best.
  20. Pal Handy

    Pal Handy Irregular Member

    Jesus loves you!
    He is a friend in time of need.
    Jesus will comfort you if you ask Him to.

    Jesus came all the way from heaven above and humbled Himself
    down into the form of a man so that He could tell us all how much
    He loves us and that He has good things in store for us if we will
    invite Him into our hearts and lives.

    How far have you gone in seeking more of Christ's involvement in your life?

    Jesus is near to all who are broken and in need of comfort and help
    if they will call out to Him and invite Him to come into their moment
    and help them.

    Can you voice your concernd to Jesus as you have to us who are total
    strangers and do not love you nearly as much as Jesus loves you.

    Do you feel like Jesus would not hear you, care about you or be interested
    in you even though He came from Heaven above to die for you and
    your sins so that you can find love, forgiveness and acceptance in Him?

    Do you ever read God's word to us, His Holy Bible?

    Have you read the New Testament and found this...

    1 Peter 5:7

    7 Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him (Jesus), for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.

    You cast your cares on Jesus by praying to Him and asking Him to take away all the
    garbage, fears and anxieties from you and to instead give you His peace and
    comfort and to fill you with His Holy Spirit...

    Hope this helps you