I can't decide if I belong to God or Satan? I tend to "switch sides" sometimes depending on how I'm feeling.

[AdTW]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

 

[SamInNi]

Anyone who genuinely believes they can "switch sides" will be incapable of having any relationship with God. Such confusion would demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding.

What is our condition outside of Christ? We are spiritually dead in our sinful condition. When by faith we are secure "in Christ" we are a new creation. When we are rooted in Christ and established in the Truth of His Word we are incapable of confused thinking that imagines we can "switch sides".

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

Welcome to CF. Those who are of the devil are those who reject God. It seems your fight is with the weakness of the flesh, Satan's playground. God does not reject us, we reject Him. His Holy Spirit is our Helper. So go back to your first love, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, He will help you overcome. Stop giving credit to your adversary, it is the quenching of His Holy Spirit that brings on your hopelessness.
Be blessed.

 

[eleos1954]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

We need to examine ourselves .... ie how is you're life trending? towards sin or away from it? We are always going to mess up here and there .... but there should be progress turning away from sin. satan is always hounding us in one way or another and often does so in a very deceiving ways .... it's a constant battle .... however, we know although there are battles won and battles .... Jesus has won the war! AMEN!

Just keep following the Lamb.

Phillippians 1:6

King James Bible
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

and He will. ;o)

 

[YeshuaFollower]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

You have free will, your choice is simple, follow GOD's words and commands, repent, sin no more and live eternally of follow the evil one and die the second permanant death, your choice. The evil path is very easy, The path to eternal life through Jesus Christ is much harder but still possible, do not wait too long to decide, time is short.


JFF

 

[Strong in Him]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person,

No one can ever be good enough for God. None of us can ever do enough to earn his love, mercy, grace and forgiveness.
If that is your aim - you'll never make it. Sorry, but that's true of everyone who ever lived - with the exception of Jesus.

but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways.

Firstly, if you have confessed your past sins to God, he has forgiven them. If you are in Christ you are a NEW creation - the old has gone, the new has come, 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Secondly, if you are trying to obtain goodness by your own efforts of course you will fail. And then it's easy for the devil to tell us that as we have failed, there's no point in trying again/you've had it. You haven't. If you want to be forgiven the sins of the past - and maybe healed from them, confess them, ask God for forgiveness and for his Holy Spirit to give you strength to live for him.

A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

No, you sin because you're human. Christians still live in an imperfect world, and sometimes we may be led astray by the world, the flesh or the devil. But we know that we can be forgiven, start again, do better and have a new life. Don't let your feelings, or the devil, tell you that it's the end when you sin. You may have fallen down, but you can get back up again - maybe with the help of other Christians.

God hasn't rejected you. You used to want to belong to the devil, now you don't - that's God. He made you in his image and wants you to be his child. You have chosen to post in a Christian forum asking for help; that desire to seek God is from him.
Feelings are very fickle - I was a slave to them for several years. But God doesn't stop loving us just because we FEEL like he has.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil,

ALL people were made by God, in his image.
If some continually sin, it's probably either because they have continually chosen to reject God and his love and their hearts are hardened, or they have never known him, his love and mercy and think there is no hope for them. There is a possibility that some are so mentally ill that they have narcissistic or dangerous personalities or tendencies. Whether sin is actually then their faukt, or something they can't help, is for God to judge.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God,

I don't believe anyone is really ALL bad.
But it's not a matter of badness or goodness. The kindest, gentlest, nicest person in the world is still separated from God - and the only way for them, and us, to be reconciled to God is through Jesus. God loves us so much that he sent Jesus to give his life for us, take our sins upon himself, Matthew 26:28, 2 Corinthians 5:21, and reconcile us to himself. We either accept that we cannot save ourselves, thank God for Jesus, accept him and receive eternal life - or we don't. If we are IN Christ, we have life and every spiritual blessing. But it starts with death - the death of self; admitting that we cannot save ourselves, atone for our sin, make ourselves good enough or, basically, do it our way.
If you desire a relationship with God, fantastic - I believe that is from him and he is already at work in you. So say "yes" to him and his amazing gift, Romans 6:23, thank him for saving you and ask him to fill you with his Spirit - who will help you to stop sinning and will begin to change you into Jesus' image, 2 Corinthians 3:18. Start reading the New Testament and believe what God says and not what your feelings say.

I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life,

Some have been in prison, on drugs, members of cults, and yet have found, and accepted, his love and forgiveness.

as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

No. Lucifer was an angel, created by God. But he chose to try to become greater than God; to overthrow him and snatch power. He is not an "outcast", he is an enemy of God and will do everything he can to stop people from believing in/coming to God.
Lucifer did not "fail to live up to God's expectations" - he chose to turn against him.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

You are in a state where Jesus is having Grace and allowing you to switch without the consequences, but you will reach a state where you are too close to Jesus to switch sides, and then you will be too far gone to switch. That is where the journey begins and you leave behind the immature self that once often turned your back on Jesus.

I reached a state where I was too close to Jesus to leave Him. I mistakenly sinned like I used to and everything got really dizzy and I found myself begging for life and forgiveness. Never again did i go down that road of sin for fear of my very life.

Your life is not a game.

 

[Strong in Him]

Your life is not a game.

Absolutely agree.

Yes, we doubt sometimes; we might go through "dry" periods or dark times, but please don't "switch sides."
That would imply that you are fed up with God's awesome love and want to go for something better - there IS nothing better. Siding with the devil will bring you no peace or happiness.
If you have KNOWN God's unconditional love, experienced his mercy and grace and then give it up and decide to side with the devil because your feelings tell you to, or because you're in a "sulk" - that is very serious, and you may find that you are not able to switch back.

 

[Lost Witness]

I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways.

once the LORD has forgiven you the things of your past are forgotten,
that's the enemy the "accuser" or ha-satan
He Accuses use to get us to give up and to go back our old ways.
When you have doubt about it or your salvation I find Jeremiah 29:11 helps me same as Isaiah 43:1

some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.

these thoughts you've been having are from DOUBT the doubt is from the enemy (ha-satan 'the accuser')he uses doubt and fear to get us to question our salvation Hebrews 13:5

I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

I spent the better part of my life willfully worshipping the enemy,
I used to Persecute Christians (Brothers and sisters) wherever I crossed Paths with them, went out of my way to mock and ridicule them.
I was in the occult, witchcraft and the like. I've even been "possessed' on a few instances as a youth and I can tell you that as certain that I've been forgiven SO too shall he forgive you
The LORD doesn't LIE.
We all make mistakes,
what's important is that you stay in prayer, and you confess these mistakes and be forgiven for them and KNOW that when he sets you free you are free indeed John 8:36


“The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.” ’



Shalom Aleichem

 

[AdTW]

Thank you all for your replies. Sounds Cliche I know, but you've all helped me to clarify things in my mind and gave me different perspectives that I hadn't thought much about before, I think it's just because nobody I know is religious, so finding this forum is probably God's will in itself as I can actually talk about God here (I've never been to church but I'm building up to that).

I was starting to worry I'm too far gone soto speak, but the fact I even worry about this stuff in the first place must mean the Holy Spirit is still in me and God is still giving me grace and a chance! I really appreciate everyone's replies, honestly it's helped me and made me realise I'm not just damned for my past "switching of sides" or mistakes/sins - it's time to look forward not backwards, and I'm determined to grow with God and stay on his path from now on.

God bless you all and thank you. I really mean that!

 

[Strong in Him]

Thank you all for your replies. Sounds Cliche I know, but you've all helped me to clarify things in my mind and gave me different perspectives that I hadn't thought much about before, I think it's just because nobody I know is religious, so finding this forum is probably God's will in itself as I can actually talk about God here (I've never been to church but I'm building up to that).

I was starting to worry I'm too far gone soto speak, but the fact I even worry about this stuff in the first place must mean the Holy Spirit is still in me and God is still giving me grace and a chance! I really appreciate everyone's replies, honestly it's helped me and made me realise I'm not just damned for my past "switching of sides" or mistakes/sins - it's time to look forward not backwards, and I'm determined to grow with God and stay on his path from now on.

God bless you all and thank you. I really mean that!

May God bless you.

 

[Yusuphhai]

Glad you would like come back to the Lord, it is not late. When I was young, I was very proud and liked bargaining with Satan, the business was that Satan gave me super power and I gave It my soul. Once I was controlled by Satan and I thought I was God in flesh. I became a patient of mental Illness. I thought my sins were serious enough and I would not be forgiven by the Lord. But it was amazing that when I repented sincerely, the blood of the Lamb washed my sins away. I am still weak but the future is full of Hope.

So please cut off the relationship with Satan completely, repent sincerely, the Lord would welcome us back.

 

[Joined2krist]

Lord have mercy

 

[IoanC]

First of all, it is our full right to choose either God or satan. I find that darkness/satan has its benefits. But this is all because we are using a dualistic system. Dualism is just thinking and talking, but life itself/our own true self is not religious/dualistic. God vs. Satan cannot convert to reality, to life.

 

[Kermos]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

You are not alone, so to speak, for a man whom God converted into a holy one (saint) once wrote:

For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin. (The Apostle Paul, Romans 7:14-25)
​

Meditate on the Word of God, for example:

• "No one is good except God alone" (Lord Jesus Christ, Mark 10:18).
• "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost" (Lord Jesus Christ, Luke 19:10).

You are trying to reach a goal of being good that is unattainable by the simple willpower of mankind because God alone is good.

Jesus' words mean every single human is not good; in other words, since evil is the opposite of good, then all unsaved people are evil and incapable of pleasing God (1 Corinthians 2:14-16, Isaiah 46:9-10).

I and all true worshippers of God are converted by God into children of God (Matthew 18:3, John 3:3-8), and God imparts assurance of being saved from the wrath of God into eternal life (1 John 5:11-13), and God gives us fruit as evidence of salvation (John 15:5).

God's work in us believers is very humbling (Matthew 5:3).

We do not boast nor exhibit pride by claiming to choose Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:8-10).

We know that we are entirely dependent upon Lord and God Jesus Christ (John 20:28) for salvation, and we know that there is absolutely no work done in ourselves - not even choosing Jesus (John 15:16, John 15:19 - includes deliverance from sin), so we know that He is our Deliverer God (Psalm 40:17, Isaiah 59:20).

We believe in Jesus Christ (John 6:29) because of the very Power of God (1 Corinthians 1:24).

There is a wonderful song called "East to West" (Casting Crowns) which contains so many lyrics that I'd like you to hear, such as "I know you've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west" and "I'm not holding onto you, but you're holding onto me":

Believe Jesus! Believe in Jesus! Cast your concerns on Him for He is the Good Deliverer from bondage in sin into the love of God (1 Peter 5:7).

I encourage you to read the whole Bible for yourself - three chapters a day takes about one year and one month. I like the New American Standard Bible (NASB) and the King James Version (KJV), and BibleHub.com is a blessing of a resource (clicking on "NASB 1995" should display the whole chapter, in fact, here is Genesis chapter 1 at BibleHub.com - even the beginning).

 

[ViaCrucis]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

God has already done everything that is to be done. When we seek to know God by our own works it will only bring us to despair--that very thing you are experiencing right now. For there is no righteousness in ourselves which we can bring before God to make us worthy--because lingering under every work is our own sin. You have seen this in yourself for yourself, so I won't go more into that here.

What I will go into is the great and marvelous grace and love of God which is for you in Jesus Christ. For God, when you were in the darkest pit of your own sin and despair, sent His only-begotten Son born of the Virgin Mary, to suffer and die for you. He took on flesh, like your flesh, was weak, as you are weak; and though He was entirely without sin He took upon Himself the full and entire weight of your sin. Your sin, my sin, the sins of the whole world. So great the burden that was put on His shoulders, to bear not only a few sins, but to bear the weight of every sin. And when at last on that cross the fullness of sin and death was put upon Him, He breathed out His dying breath. His lifeless body was taken down off from the cross, but what remained was our sin. Yes, every sin and death itself remained dead on that cross. He, having finished this, was laid in a rocky tomb, wrapped in burial clothes. And there His body lay until came the third day.

Oh that third day! O to God be all praise and glory forever and ever! That third day came. O joyous hallelujah! And the stone was rolled away. Glory to God! The stone was rolled away, and out walked the Crucified Lamb of God, the graves clothes now lay empty. His flesh walked again, He was Himself, not a ghost, He conquered death.

Oh that Day, O that Day of Days! Jesus Christ rose from the dead and everything changed. Death was rendered impotent, the devil--the great prosecutor of man, was rendered mute. O Christ the Advocate declares us forgiven, declares us free of guilt, declares us righteous by what He has done.

He has done it all, He has made satisfaction for you and for me and every single human being who has ever lived. From Adam to now, EVERYONE.

To hear this Good News is to be awakened to faith, to believe and trust in this Jesus, and to know God. Not to know God hidden behind the veil of His Law--for there we could only perceive the dark veil covering Him distant and far removed from us. But we have come to know God, He is the loving and compassionate Father of Jesus, whom Jesus shows us and says that if we know Him we know His Father also. To know the Son is to know the Father.

So come and behold God who hung on the cross and suffered and gave His life for you, that you might now be set free from the bondage of fear and despair and the bitter sting of a guilty conscience. God has set you free and declared you forgiven and just on account of Christ who has done it all. Believe this, for it is most certainly true.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[Petros2015]

You are in a state where Jesus is having Grace and allowing you to switch without the consequences, but you will reach a state where you are too close to Jesus to switch sides, and then you will be too far gone to switch. That is where the journey begins and you leave behind the immature self that once often turned your back on Jesus.

Aye. Eventually the clay hardens and the kiln is fired
And then "what could be"
Is forevermore
What Is

Well... almost forevermore
I think some of us (maybe many) are even rescued from THAT state
But that takes shattering the old jar and getting some new clay
If you can find an easier, softer way while you are still damp
I'd urge you to take it

 

[Rescued One]

I have a strange relationship with God. I try to be a better person, I try to turn my back on sin and be a good person, but I remember past sins and regrets which basically feels like it throws mud on my efforts, I then give up trying and start to switch back to my old ways. A while ago I used to want to be a bad person, I used to deliberately be horrible to others and I used to not care because i considered myself one of the Devil's, but due to things in personal life I've realised that's not what I want and I try to change, but when I feel like I've failed if I commit a sin again, or if i feel like God has rejected me, I go into a sort of sulk and start thinking I have more in common with Satan and that's why things aren't working out when I try.

Some people are of God and some are of The Devil, how do you know exactly which side you belong to? I can't be all bad as I desire a relationship with God, but sometimes I get sick of trying and start to go the other way thinking that perhaps I'm more accepted by Satan than God.


I'm genuinely confused and I worry that I'm kidding myself when I say I want a relationship with God, as I've not been a very nice person in my life, and because I've always felt like an outcast I've always felt like I have more in common with Satan than God, as he too is technically an outcast for pretty much the same reasons I've always been, namely wanting to do things his own way instead of living upto his expectations.

SamInNi is right on.

John 14:21
He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

The Holy Spirit convicts you when you do wrong and you immediately ask forgiveness. You read God's word every day to memorize His will.

Psalm 119:11
Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

 

[musicalpilgrim]

Jesus saves, heaven and eternal life are real,
Do not play reject the Lord's gift of eternal life, Jesus died and paid a terrible price for your sin. Thank him, your wonderful Saviour.

Hell is a real place of eternal torment. There is no way out once you're there.

 

[Rescued One]

The Clod and the Pebble
by William Blake (1789)

Love seeketh not itself to please.
Nor for itself hath any care:
But for another gives its ease.
And builds a Heaven in Hells despair.