I can’t love and fear God

Chance7

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Hi. I’m going to be honest, I have autism and I have struggled with this for years. See, if someone intimidates me or scares me, I just can’t love them. I can’t control it, it just can’t coexist in my mind. If I really love someone, I can’t fear them. I just can’t. It’s either one or another. I used to only love God but I never really feared him. As a result, I sinned so much less, I was satisfied with God, I wanted to spread the Gospel, everything was great. Now, however, ever since I learned you are supposed to be afraid of God, I can not love him. As a result, I am now unable to function because of this fear, I pretty much gave up on trying not to sin because what’s the point if God doesn’t care if I love him and only wants us to fear him, and I lie awake at night thinking of what hell will be like because I can’t love God anymore because I fear him now. I can’t do anything about it. I pray and pray but to no avail. How is it fair that I should be condemned because of something I can’t control. This thing I’m describing isn’t something I can just turn on and off. It happens with people in my life too. If I’m afraid of someone, I can’t love them. If I love someone, I can’t fear them. It’s just the way I am wired. What should I do now? Will God still love me? I feel like God doesn’t love me anymore because I can’t love him. I fear him way too much and all the people telling me that I’ll go to hell because of something I can’t control only makes it worse. I can’t love God anymore because of the fear of him and(mostly)the fear of hell I have now.

My question is, will God condemn me for something I can barely control at all. Will I be doomed because I have autism and can’t love and fear at the same time?
 

CodyFaith

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We aren't supposed to be afraid of God, in the sense that God will harm us or do us wrong, be harsh with us, etc.

God is the most graciously loving being there is. Scripture says "God is love." (1 John 4:8). He is abundant in mercy... his mercy caused him to send his Son for us, do die for us.

Read this:
1 John 4:16-19
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
We love him, because he first loved us.

Notice how it says there is no fear in love, and that if someone is genuinely afraid of God they actually haven't fully matured in God yet because if they had they wouldn't be (negatively) afraid of him.

God is holy. In that knowledge, in knowing how holy he is and how perfect he is, someone who believes in Christ will naturally give God the fear/reverence he deserves. For example, a believer is not about to go out and rob 5 banks for fun. Why? Because besides the obvious in that he doesn't want to harm or hurt anyone, he also fears God and knows God does not let a believer go unpunished. Although a believer cannot lose their salvation, God is not mocked, and he will not turn a blind eye to his children doing (true) evil.

But God is not a dictator. He is not going to swipe his children off the earth because they were rude to someone, or swore, or have sinful habits that we need to work on and repent of. God is extremely merciful.

If you believe in Jesus and have trusted in his sacrifice as payment for your sins, you are saved and God's loved child. Rest in that.
 
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Roseonathorn

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I have learned that love and fear can not exist on the same spot so I think I get Your point. However I believe You did right to love God. I believe God is a loving God and looks to our heart and our intentions and also He knows our limits and will not ask of us things we can not do. We are all different as people, all with different strengths and weaknesses. I believe the Lord knows also that. I do not think that the ones that loves the Lord with all His might has anything to fear from the Lord because Jesus Christ himself said it is the greatest of commandment. There should not be fear in love. I see the Lord as my friend and I have told Him that if He find sin in me to tell me and show me so I can turn away from it so I do not end up badly. So in that way I respect Him and some would use the word fear Him. But it is rather a I put my trust in the Lord that He will lead me safely home to His kingdom. I can for example have listened to bad advise and sinned even before I realised I sinned and spoke up and said something that I could have said nicer. Or I was impatient. But I can ask the Lord for forgiveness and continue to grow in the areas where I am still weak. I pray that You will find new trust in the Lord and that the Lord will teach You His ways. Remember that God so loved the world that He died for it, also for You. God loves You. That is a good thought.
 
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FutureAndAHope

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I used to only love God but I never really feared him. As a result, I sinned so much less, I was satisfied with God, I wanted to spread the Gospel, everything was great.

Return to the way you used to see God. For God is loving, he does not need us to be afraid of Him. It is the evil that need to fear God.

1Ti 1:9 With the knowledge that the law is made, not for the upright man, but for those who have no respect for law and order, for evil men and sinners, for the unholy and those who have no religion, for those who put their fathers or mothers to death, for takers of life,

The above verse tells us that God's law is made not to make you fell bad about yourself, but rather to judge those who do sore evil, for murderers, for the bad sinner.

We only need to fear God if we are choosing to do evil. A person who loves God, and respects Him, need not have a deep fear.

The fear God gives us is only to stop us doing evil, if we are not doing evil we need not fear.
 
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Earth18

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I believe Max Lucado did a devotion on this very subject. I wish I had saved it. The fear is more like reverence that you would have for a parent or another elder you deeply respect only it's even more so because He's Holy God. It's not going around hiding in fear the way someone does an abuser. We want to keep God's word and commandments but we want a loving relationship with Him. HTH.
 
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Hi. I’m going to be honest, I have autism and I have struggled with this for years. See, if someone intimidates me or scares me, I just can’t love them. I can’t control it, it just can’t coexist in my mind. If I really love someone, I can’t fear them. I just can’t. It’s either one or another. I used to only love God but I never really feared him. As a result, I sinned so much less, I was satisfied with God, I wanted to spread the Gospel, everything was great. Now, however, ever since I learned you are supposed to be afraid of God, I can not love him. As a result, I am now unable to function because of this fear, I pretty much gave up on trying not to sin because what’s the point if God doesn’t care if I love him and only wants us to fear him, and I lie awake at night thinking of what hell will be like because I can’t love God anymore because I fear him now. I can’t do anything about it. I pray and pray but to no avail. How is it fair that I should be condemned because of something I can’t control. This thing I’m describing isn’t something I can just turn on and off. It happens with people in my life too. If I’m afraid of someone, I can’t love them. If I love someone, I can’t fear them. It’s just the way I am wired. What should I do now? Will God still love me? I feel like God doesn’t love me anymore because I can’t love him. I fear him way too much and all the people telling me that I’ll go to hell because of something I can’t control only makes it worse. I can’t love God anymore because of the fear of him and(mostly)the fear of hell I have now.

My question is, will God condemn me for something I can barely control at all. Will I be doomed because I have autism and can’t love and fear at the same time?

I too, have autism, and I understand how tough it makes day to day life, especially dealing people. Reading your post, I think you have "I" trouble. As long as you focus on what you can, want, are able to do, the devil will have you going in circles in your own head, in you own powerlessness. Submit to God. Repent of all known sin, confess when you fail. Ask Him to change you and He begin working in your life. He knows we have feet of clay. Just keep turning to Him, never away and all your semantic ruminations will fall away as He begins to work in your life.
 
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SnowTiger

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I think that God has a great deal of sympathy for you. God wants to cure the sick. I have Schizophrenia and I hear blasphemous thoughts all day long that I can't control. I want to believe that God forgives me even though my thoughts are horrible. I think God wants you to love him and fear him, but half of that is okay if that is all you can do. I think God loves us even though we are imperfect. I hope and pray that things will get better for you. Amen.
 
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Noxot

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real fear of God is love for God and fear of being separated from him. it sounds like what you had before was better but I don't know why the things that happen do happen. if God is just then he will be fair and consider everything.
 
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