- Dec 4, 2019
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I am trying to trust Jesus with this Mark of the Beast fear. I keep getting told that it is impossible not just due to Romans 8 and 1 Corinthians 10:13 but it does make sense the very fact Jesus does not mention the Mark of the Beast being a yellow light/cross and crosses don't talk prove it doesn't exist. I saw the psychiatrist and they are upping my medicine.
The scriptures are the inspired words of God's word and the very fact there is nothing in the Holy Bible about a yellow light or yellow cross being the Mark of the Beast makes me suspicious of it being true reality you would think the Bible would mention something that important for someone's salvation and the Holy Spirit does not mention it.
The only thing scripture states is the truth and the very fact the rapture hasn't happened yet must be proof that Jesus still loves me if he hasn't returned from Heaven he must still care about me everyone around me tell me I am eternally secure and that they see the Love of the Lord in my life if I was a false prophet/antichrist how do they see God's love.
The fact the rapture has not occurred if the false prophet or antichrist was on the Earth wouldn't happen and why is the World outside of the impeachment news getting calmer Iran is backing down it looks like there is no imminent strike of Israel or Antichrist rising in the wings you would think if the false prophet was on Earth the rapture would be imminent.
My parents, family, and church must be right God must still love me if none of the events have occurred it truly must be an illness. It doesn't make sense how I blasphemed the Holy Spirit without speaking against the Holy Spirit with my own mouth it truly must be a brain disorder because God never mentions yellow lights. He says I will never leave you or forsake you and he promises eternal life and the sheep hear his voice and nothing can snatch from the hands of Jesus why would Jesus let Satan show up when I am praying knowing that I would get confused with mental illness and why would God blot my name out for being mentally ill and praying psychotically in psychosis why would he hold that against me when God is love.
God is reading what I am writing everyday and he hears my voice everyday he knows I desperately don't want to be evil and he knows that I am remorseful for the yellow light/cross and that I feel bad for what I said he knows my heart truly loves him and that is what my friends, family, church keep trying to tell me.
Everyone keeps telling me I can relax God is love and he knows that I am mentally ill and blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is different it is truly an intentional evil act not an accident from a dream/hallucination of a yellow light/cross and seeing a talking cross thinking it is Jesus being in psychosis people that are mentally ill claim to be Jesus Christ and he doesn't hold that against them removing there name from the Lamb's Book Of Life people mentally ill say a lot of things and I realize God can't forgive 666 but my psychosis was talking from fear that I saw and in the Hospital I kept seeing the devil and at home I see a blue light that scares me but I tune it out with the Holy Bible and Praise Music.
The more I think about it why would God send a mentally ill person to hell for a split second decision in a dream/hallucination the Yellow Cross/Light happened so fast to my brain that my brain truly could not respond I could not make a conscious decision. I didn't even really listen to the voice that is out of it I was all I heard was something about YWAM and instantly I thought to myself it must Jesus Satan wouldn't talk about YWAM and I didn't hear the rest. I was out of it but everyone says it wasn't real so I don't know what I took my clothes off to or bowed to but everyone around me doesn't think it was really Satan.
Why would Jesus allow Satan to show up to a believer with mental problems he knows the believer will fall. I wonder if this all I trial to prove how much I truly love God and Satan is losing as I love God the same Satan can't enter a believers brain and heart outside of Judas and there is no yellow light in scripture.
Wouldn't John in Revelation talk about a yellow light/cross in the future and wouldn't Jesus mention it wouldn't be all over the Bible it seems important if the Mark of the Beast was a yellow light/cross it seems like it would be in scripture and it isn't so how could God punish someone for something not in scripture. How could God punish someone for a dream/hallucination.
It truly must just be paranoid scitzphrenia I was the right age at 24 to develop it and I had a lot of stress reading screenplay as a reader for a competition and I read a lot of blasphemous content that bother my OCD Scrupulosity it was mental torture seeing Jesus name abused and at times the Holy Spirit it bothers greatly still it must be the Holy Spirit in me. I regret my decision of greed when God was calling me to a Pastor you don't think God got rid of me for selfishness, greed, and lust you don't think he gave me over to Satan because I was pursuing my own career path but that doesn't sound like God.
I just need to trust Jesus that he will rapture me in his timing and try not to worry about the blue sphere or the yellow light it isn't biblical. It is called scitzphrenia, autism, pandas, ocd scrupulosity for a reason and focus on God's words and his truth isn't a yellow light or blue sphere.
The very fact there is no One World Government is an indicator that isn't real and the rapture has happened despite being told in my brain that it is happening many times but it still hasn't happened.
Romans 8:31-39 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”a]">[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,b]">[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Bible Gateway passage: Romans 8:31-39 - New Living Translation
Bible Gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 10:13 - New International Version
The scriptures are the inspired words of God's word and the very fact there is nothing in the Holy Bible about a yellow light or yellow cross being the Mark of the Beast makes me suspicious of it being true reality you would think the Bible would mention something that important for someone's salvation and the Holy Spirit does not mention it.
The only thing scripture states is the truth and the very fact the rapture hasn't happened yet must be proof that Jesus still loves me if he hasn't returned from Heaven he must still care about me everyone around me tell me I am eternally secure and that they see the Love of the Lord in my life if I was a false prophet/antichrist how do they see God's love.
The fact the rapture has not occurred if the false prophet or antichrist was on the Earth wouldn't happen and why is the World outside of the impeachment news getting calmer Iran is backing down it looks like there is no imminent strike of Israel or Antichrist rising in the wings you would think if the false prophet was on Earth the rapture would be imminent.
My parents, family, and church must be right God must still love me if none of the events have occurred it truly must be an illness. It doesn't make sense how I blasphemed the Holy Spirit without speaking against the Holy Spirit with my own mouth it truly must be a brain disorder because God never mentions yellow lights. He says I will never leave you or forsake you and he promises eternal life and the sheep hear his voice and nothing can snatch from the hands of Jesus why would Jesus let Satan show up when I am praying knowing that I would get confused with mental illness and why would God blot my name out for being mentally ill and praying psychotically in psychosis why would he hold that against me when God is love.
God is reading what I am writing everyday and he hears my voice everyday he knows I desperately don't want to be evil and he knows that I am remorseful for the yellow light/cross and that I feel bad for what I said he knows my heart truly loves him and that is what my friends, family, church keep trying to tell me.
Everyone keeps telling me I can relax God is love and he knows that I am mentally ill and blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is different it is truly an intentional evil act not an accident from a dream/hallucination of a yellow light/cross and seeing a talking cross thinking it is Jesus being in psychosis people that are mentally ill claim to be Jesus Christ and he doesn't hold that against them removing there name from the Lamb's Book Of Life people mentally ill say a lot of things and I realize God can't forgive 666 but my psychosis was talking from fear that I saw and in the Hospital I kept seeing the devil and at home I see a blue light that scares me but I tune it out with the Holy Bible and Praise Music.
The more I think about it why would God send a mentally ill person to hell for a split second decision in a dream/hallucination the Yellow Cross/Light happened so fast to my brain that my brain truly could not respond I could not make a conscious decision. I didn't even really listen to the voice that is out of it I was all I heard was something about YWAM and instantly I thought to myself it must Jesus Satan wouldn't talk about YWAM and I didn't hear the rest. I was out of it but everyone says it wasn't real so I don't know what I took my clothes off to or bowed to but everyone around me doesn't think it was really Satan.
Why would Jesus allow Satan to show up to a believer with mental problems he knows the believer will fall. I wonder if this all I trial to prove how much I truly love God and Satan is losing as I love God the same Satan can't enter a believers brain and heart outside of Judas and there is no yellow light in scripture.
Wouldn't John in Revelation talk about a yellow light/cross in the future and wouldn't Jesus mention it wouldn't be all over the Bible it seems important if the Mark of the Beast was a yellow light/cross it seems like it would be in scripture and it isn't so how could God punish someone for something not in scripture. How could God punish someone for a dream/hallucination.
It truly must just be paranoid scitzphrenia I was the right age at 24 to develop it and I had a lot of stress reading screenplay as a reader for a competition and I read a lot of blasphemous content that bother my OCD Scrupulosity it was mental torture seeing Jesus name abused and at times the Holy Spirit it bothers greatly still it must be the Holy Spirit in me. I regret my decision of greed when God was calling me to a Pastor you don't think God got rid of me for selfishness, greed, and lust you don't think he gave me over to Satan because I was pursuing my own career path but that doesn't sound like God.
I just need to trust Jesus that he will rapture me in his timing and try not to worry about the blue sphere or the yellow light it isn't biblical. It is called scitzphrenia, autism, pandas, ocd scrupulosity for a reason and focus on God's words and his truth isn't a yellow light or blue sphere.
The very fact there is no One World Government is an indicator that isn't real and the rapture has happened despite being told in my brain that it is happening many times but it still hasn't happened.
Romans 8:31-39 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”a]">[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,b]">[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Bible Gateway passage: Romans 8:31-39 - New Living Translation
Bible Gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 10:13 - New International Version
