I am too bad because I am divorced

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blan3556

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In the Christian advice forum I am getting slammed for being divorced I have been remarried for 6 years and have 2 kids with this man and my ex is married with 2 kids but I am being told that I must divorce my current husband immediately and be alone forever or I am living in sin. What do I do? Leave my husband so I can go to Heaven? I asked God to forgive me but they are telling me it doesn't matter...please help
 

JimfromOhio

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I am divorced. My current wife is divorced. Divorce is wrong however circumstances do allow divorce. If there is no way that reconciliation is possible, from the non-christian stand not the christian, the Christian is not bound to the non-Christian.

The bible says that anyone who divorces for any reason then adultry will commit adultry if they remarry. But...the bible also teaches that if we confess our sins we are forgiven by our loving Savior Jesus Christ. I myself am divorced and I believe that Jesus has forgiven my sin and no human has the right to judge me. I am covered by the Grace of my Heavenly Father!
 
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blan3556

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That was my point too but I was told I HAD to leave my current husband because I was committing adultrey everyday..I just want to for once do what is right...but I feel that I would destroy my husband to just leave him like that but if that is what God wants...I don't know I am so confused...I said I was sorry 3 billion times, I am alittle upset right now..I am sorry
 
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JimfromOhio said:
I am divorced. My current wife is divorced. Divorce is wrong however circumstances do allow divorce. If there is no way that reconciliation is possible, from the non-christian stand not the christian, the Christian is not bound to the non-Christian.

The bible says that anyone who divorces for any reason then adultry will commit adultry if they remarry. But...the bible also teaches that if we confess our sins we are forgiven by our loving Savior Jesus Christ. I myself am divorced and I believe that Jesus has forgiven my sin and no human has the right to judge me. I am covered by the Grace of my Heavenly Father!
I agree with Jim.
 
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Macca

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blan3556 said:
In the Christian advice forum I am getting slammed for being divorced I have been remarried for 6 years and have 2 kids with this man and my ex is married with 2 kids but I am being told that I must divorce my current husband immediately and be alone forever or I am living in sin. What do I do? Leave my husband so I can go to Heaven? I asked God to forgive me but they are telling me it doesn't matter...please help
You don't say whether you were Christian before divorce or not.
If you gave you life to Christ after divorce, then the past life is wahed away, you are a new creation. I know many people (and am one myself) who have been divorced, got saved, and are being used by God.
Macca. :preach:
 
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blan3556

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I became a Christian as a child, I was sent to foster homes because of the abuse at home and then was sent back to my parents...I wandered away from God like the prodigal son, I messed up my life living in sin, I did everything wrong, then I came back and rededicated my life to Christ, I asked forgivness and promised to stay straight and have been for over a year, but now I want to live evry moment to God's glory, I want to do everything right and I do not know how. I am being told to leave my husband, I do not know if that is right, I am praying for him. If God wants me to leave him I will, no doubt, but I do not know if that is right. I just feel totally condemned right now, like no matter what I do I am gkoing to hell. I am trying so hard to be everything God wants me to be but I think it is too late.
 
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redwing030

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I don't think that two wrongs make a right in this situation. Why would God want you to divorce a man who, from the sounds of it, treats you well? Even if God didn't want you to remarry, which is argueable, I don't think he'd want you to get a divorce either to try to make up for getting married to begin with. :sorry:
 
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blan3556

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That was my arguement although my husband has alot of problems he has come a long way but if I divorce him how would that change my origional sin? Wouldn't it just destroy another mans life? I would be committing the same sin again? I am confused, I just feel awful trying so hard to do what is right but am being told I am all wrong, like there is nothing I can do, my sin is too great.
 
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Macca

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blan3556 said:
I became a Christian as a child, I was sent to foster homes because of the abuse at home and then was sent back to my parents...I wandered away from God like the prodigal son, I messed up my life living in sin, I did everything wrong, then I came back and rededicated my life to Christ, I asked forgivness and promised to stay straight and have been for over a year, but now I want to live evry moment to God's glory, I want to do everything right and I do not know how. I am being told to leave my husband, I do not know if that is right, I am praying for him. If God wants me to leave him I will, no doubt, but I do not know if that is right. I just feel totally condemned right now, like no matter what I do I am gkoing to hell. I am trying so hard to be everything God wants me to be but I think it is too late.
You hace a new beginning since you re-dedicated your life.
"Anyone who is in Christ is a new creation and is continuing to become so, the old has gone, and continues to go, the new has come, and continues to come.
(2 Cor. 5: 17)
Let no one cause you guilt for your past that is repented of.
Macca. :preach:
 
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Radagast

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blan3556 said:
In the Christian advice forum I am getting slammed for being divorced I have been remarried for 6 years and have 2 kids with this man and my ex is married with 2 kids but I am being told that I must divorce my current husband immediately and be alone forever or I am living in sin. What do I do? Leave my husband so I can go to Heaven? I asked God to forgive me but they are telling me it doesn't matter...please help
God doesn't approve of divorce.

But, hey, you sinned, you repented, God forgave your sin, and this man is your husband now.

I see no biblical support for the idea that you should divorce your current husband.

-- Radagast
 
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Radagast

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blan3556 said:
... I am trying so hard to be everything God wants me to be but I think it is too late.
Of course it's not too late. It wasn't too late for David (who committed adultery and murder). It wasn't too late for the Apostle Paul (who persecuted Christians). It wasn't too late for me. And it isn't too late for you.

Our sins are forgiven if we accept Jesus.

-- Radagast
 
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chilibowl

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Scripture doesn't say if you divorce for anything other adultry your living in sin... Matt 5:32 tells us that: if you divorce your wife for anything besides marital unfaithfulness, cause her to become an adultress..
Even the King James uses the word "Fornication" in place of martial unfaithfulness... My point?

Martial unfaithfulness is a sin against the marriage that includes adultry but not limited to it. It is better described as unfaithfulness TO the marriage or the Original Marriage vows found in Deuteronomy.. the ones that all the jews at the time were married too. (the people jesus were speaking to.) Most of us, use them or something derived from them at our marriages "To love honor obey in richness/poorness, sick/health..ect. ect.."
The reason jesus said you need more than a certificate of divorce was because at the time, was people were getting divorced just because the "Men" were not satsified with "in some cases" the arranged marriages, the way the women cooked the burden that some of the women came with "no/little dowerly" Some men married just to plunder the "virgins" and divorced soon after because of some trumpt up allogation. No male off-spring was a popular one.. In that day much as this, people didn't respect, and made holy the covenate of marriage. And even broke from it when the childern became troublesome..

Jesus clarified this by telling us that unless the spouce, is unfaithful (in her vows) then it is not lawful to divorce.

Now comes in the "fornication/adultry" In the Original text there is a word for Adultry(moichos) and one that we translated "fornication" (opveia)The Adultry word means: Sex with the spouce of another. and what we translated fornication is better translated unfaithful to a oath (It's how many of the current modern translations interperate it).. (the same word is also used to describe idolitry in the church) Even when the king James was originaly translated they knew that the Idea being communicated wasn't Adultry, that's why they used "fornication" instead of Adultry.

So by this definition even if you were the unfaithful one and still married another you committed adultry according to matt 5:32 that's a one time thing... adultry was used in the singular form.. Once you asked for forgivness that's it!!! Be free christian! But if to divorce your current husband for not being your first husband is committing the Sin that Jesus spoke of in the first part of vs 31... (You would be divorcing him for a reason outside the marriage vows!!!)


I hope this gives you some relief in your situation... Remember to Question/test all things and hold fast to the truth. As no doubt you encountered alot of the "Oral" tradition that we have in the church today.. and I hope you see the danger and the pain that can be derived from the "Understanding" or lack of it when we rely on our pastors and "spiritual leaders" to do all of our jesus searching for us. God has a very strong and personal message for you written in his word.. but you first have to knock and keep knocking like the presistant neighbor who wanted the three loaves... you do that by reading the word and by spending time meditating on it, and the Spirit will speak to you thru the word.. and in you prayers, you don't need a teacher or interpertor the spirit will be your guide 1 john 2: 24-27

All of these things are founded in the scripture, but more importantly they have been my lifes experence, that's why I gave you princapal first, but if you want the actual scripture or any reference material then I'd be glad to provide it just let me know..

Good luck and god bless
 
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vinc

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I am too bad because I am divorced
No. You are not bad because you are divorced. This stupid idea has to come-out of most christians. Everyone makes mistakes in life and learns.


In the Christian advice forum I am getting slammed for being divorced I have been remarried for 6 years and have 2 kids with this man and my ex is married with 2 kids but I am being told that I must divorce my current husband immediately and be alone forever or I am living in sin.
No. You are not living in sin as you have legally divorced your ex-husband and are now remarried for 6 years with your present husband with 2 kids. You need not divorce your present husband and you need not be alone forever. I think God's will is that you have to continue living with your present husband and take care of him and your 2 kids.

What do I do?
Forget those stupid advices of those christians who cannot understand the mind of God with regard to Divorce-and-Remarriage. Stop debating with them and stop trying to make them see your viewpoint. Continue to live for God, your present husband and your 2 kids. Live as best a christian life possible with your present husband and your 2 kids. You are not at all guilty for choosing Divorce-and-Remarriage in your life.

Leave my husband so I can go to Heaven?
If you leave your present husband, you would be again committing another mistake. God does not want you to leave your present husband. In fact, your present husband and 2 kids need you the most and God has given you that responsibility. God is more understanding and forgiving than all the Christians put together. You are eligible for heaven even now, for having rededicated yourself to God. Your present husband (if he has not yet dedicated his life to God) and 2 kids are sanctified in the sight of God because of your re-dedication.

I asked God to forgive me but they are telling me it doesn't matter...please help
Once, you have sincerely asked God to forgive you, God forgives you and lets you make the most of your remaining life. God is with you. Be thick skinned to what other christians say.

That was my arguement although my husband has alot of problems he has come a long way but if I divorce him how would that change my origional sin?
No. It would not change your original sin.

Wouldn't it just destroy another mans life?
Yes. Sure it would.

I would be committing the same sin again?
Yes.

I am confused, I just feel awful trying so hard to do what is right but am being told I am all wrong, like there is nothing I can do, my sin is too great.
You are getting confused by the stupid advice of other christians. Let me tell you that you are right. And, you have not committed any sin by legally Divorcing-and-Remarrying.

God is with you. Stay with your present husband and your 2 kids. Continue your life in God. God will enlighten all those christians who are wrongly advicing you to divorce your present husband. At present, be utterly thick-skinned to what they say and continue with your life.
 
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blan3556

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I think I see things better now but others would probablu say it is just because I am hearing what I want to hear not GODS word. I talked to my ex husband last night, as we are friends, and he told me that it was forgiven along time ago and that I am a good person, and that I would break peoples hearts and commit the same sin again if I just left my husband. He knows of my husbands problems, but likes him and thinks and KNOWS his children are in good hands. My ex even entered me in a Mother's day best mommy contest because he says he thinks I am the best mom he has seen and that my husband, although he yells alot, takes good care of them evspecially financially. I appreciate all of you, I feel more knowledgable and also that "nagging" feeling that I was doing something wrong by thinking I should leave my husband(Holy Spirit?) is gone, yes I was considering leaving him because I want to live right more than anything.
 
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SandyLou

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The thing I'm not clear about is WHO is telling you that you should leave your husband and / or that you are unforgiven??

Are these people from a church group? FIND A NEW CHURCH! Right NOW! Don't look back except to pray for the ignorance of those who would condemn you.

I left a church / denomination because of their views on this matter. Read God's word for yourself - allow God to speak to you personally thru the Bible. I now totally understand just how deep God's love is for me. As soon as I walked into my church I felt loved and accepted even tho I did not know one single person in the congregation that first day.

God love you sooo very much. And it's obvious that your husband, your kids, and even your ex-h care about you. I think you are a very blessed person!!!
 
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blan3556

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It is the people on this forum! I wrote for God's word on how to handle my husbands addiction and weather to leave him, I wrote a little past because I just wanted to add some info. instaed of advice on my current marriage, when they read I was married before I was bombarded with that I should leave him because I was married before and get my old husband back, not nothing on my current marriage that I was concerned with. (I was mad at my husband that day and made it a little worse then it actually is, but I was concern with his lifestyle) so I was told I was not a Christian and was not living for God. Then they followed me to other posts and said the same thing until the mod closed it. I thought I was the only divorced person on this site!
 
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blan3556

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PS Read a couple post up, limiting my freedom here on Earth, they are tslking that I have to leave my current husband and be alone forever or get my past husband back...there is the example, although they were alot nicer about it then some.
 
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SandyLou

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I did read the posts here. Interesting OPINIONS.
As I said in your other thread. . . . read God's word for yourself and allow it to speak to you personally. You are asking people - all of us sinners - for opinions.
Ask God.
He alone can speak to your specific situation and your heart.
 
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blan3556

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Thank you I appreciate your answer, I guess my guilty conscience is getting the best of me and I was looking for help, which you are right I can only get from God, but I must admit encouraging words are also helpful. Gos speaks through people who are open to recieve, I feel because of my guilt I have closed that door, but I need to reopen it.
 
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