I am scared...

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

*Mods feel free to move this if it isnt in the right place*

*sigh* Hey guys. This is the deal... and I need your advice.

Our young adults group at church have been steadly going down hill and FAST. THey have been drinking, doing drugs, having sex... you name it, they have been doing it.

And there are a few of us within that group, who are MAJORILY concerned with whats going on, and we have openly voiced our opinions. But the scarry thing is, there is about 5 of us, who ALL have this deep down, gut wretching feeling that something terrible is going to happen. And we all feel it comming soon. And when we talk, it keeps comming back to a drunk driving accident, and someone getting killed. And the scarry thing is, we ALL are feeling the same tihng. Even our Young Adults pastor feels it too. (I have talked to him about the matter). Like Heather is going to get stoned and never come back down, or Joel is going to get someone pregnate, or Scott is going to drive home drunk ONE last time... and it be his last time... ever!

Amy (my friend)and I feel that we have done all we can, but for some reason, we seem to be taking all the hurt of this group upon us and VERY personally. We are so concerend about them that we are literally SICK over it. But we are sick of it. And we are scared. Very scared that something is going ot happen and SOON.

I just kinda wanted an outsiders oppinion on things here... what do you guys think? Because we are both helpless at this point. And these people just dont want to listen to us. But they are our friends and we love thema ll very much and dont want to see anything happen to them. We pray and pray and pray and pray and it just seems hopeless.

Thanks Guys, I really need some advice here!
Love you all
SOTF

 

[looksgood]

Hate to say it, but there is very little you can do. They have to want to repent. All you can do is tell them about God, and let them know what is right and wrong.

I am surprised they are in the church at all. But then I heard of ppl that go just to find someone to pull down into sin. It's up to them and God.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Hummm but that just dosent seem good enough for me unfortunatly... and I know they will not repend anytime soon... its so sad

 

[One Son of Many]

Are the parents of these friends still around? Do these parents have any idea whats going on? I'm not saying to go to the parents and tell what's happening, but the parents should be advised that they need to be more active in your friends lives.

Try to drop a subtle hint, without detail, that the parent might pay attention to their kids extracurricular activity. Express some concern that you are worried about your friend(s), their kid(s), getting hurt. Try every way to not give detail, but let the parents find out on their own, in their own way. Hopefully, it will keep your friends from having harsh feelings towards you if they can't relate their parents 'finding out' to your 'dropping a hint'.

Worst case scenario, tell their parents outright, what is happening. (If they can't find out on their own) It would be better to have your friends furious at you than dead, in a situation where they may become a father/mother, or turned into a stoner.

Looksgood is right. Ultimately, your friends will have to want to repent. If not, then the lifestyle they live now will follow them into their adulthood. I am speaking from firsthand experience, I fell into all three categories: a promiscuous, drunk, stoner. But I was fortunate enough to be chosen by Christ. My old self died this past July 17, and was re-born into this infinitely better lifestyle that I now share with all of you, my brothers and sisters. I tell you this to let you know there IS hope for your friends.

One last bit of advise and the most important piece: Pray and pray very often to God about this issue and ask Him to show you what path to take on this issue. He is always there and listening.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

One Son, that is a great idea, but you see these "kids" are like 21, 22, 24 years old. So we cant very well taddle on them. I know Scott the guy who has been drinking and driving is 24. His parents dont have the sweetest clue. And if they did they would kick him out... but you see like Scott is a grown man. He has a job making tons of money he owns his own 40G truck and all this stuff... so there isnt much really that can be done there. Plus I dont know these peoples parents well enoiugh to subtly talk to them about it....

Pray pray pray thats all I do

 

[One Son of Many]

I am sorry about the age mixup. I have 2 small boys and I think I just instinctively classified your friends as being in their later teens and living with parents. I apologize.

It is a shame that good people allow themselves to be swayed by material things. It is an easy thing to do. I suppose those are the traits of sin, so easy to do and feels so good.

Lead by example. Pray for your friends and possibly let them know you are praying for them. In my previous life, I would always think: 'Hey, I'll party it up for a good long while and when I'm about finished, I'll just slide right in (be baptized) and be safe. That way, I can have a lot of earthly fun first, then have my soul saved later! I'll have the best of both worlds!' I now see how ignorant I really was and I feel shamed it took me this long to figure it out. Hopefully, it won't take your friends very long to see the errors of their ways.

I will help you pray for them. If you feel comfortable with sending me a little more info via email or icq, I would be willing to try and help. I hope things turn out for the best for your friends.

 

[FR0G]

One Son, that is an excellent post.

 

[imasharp]

I just have to say that the 2 post by One Son are awesome. Prayer is your best weapon in this situation. I do have one idea. I suggest that you go into the class ahead of time and pray. If you believe in annointing oil, use it. Just ask God to be so present that it is real to these friends. Ask for their ears to be opened and that they would come into contact with people of God. Most of all, rebuke Satan from the room, let him know that he has no place there. I think that I would pray for deliverance also.
I will be praying here also.
Hugs and Prayers,
Christy

 

[Mr.Cheese]

This is pretty common. Why? I have no idea. I'm guessing that since they don't have anyone to answer to they are doing whatever they want. Well, with freedom comes responsibility.
Praying is the best thing yocu an do. Talking usually goes in one ear and out the other. But I remember when I was talking to my roommate about stuff once. We were together constantly so you couldn't just get away when one was bugging the other. He was like, "John. You think this is ok, and this is ok. And you go to church? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. John, you're being a moron." He let me have it. And I thought about it and well, yeah. he was absolutely right.
When we arrogantly abuse our freedoms, God humbles us to the point that we will listen to him again. It sucks when that happens.
How you feel. Believe me sis. I understand how you feel.
*hug*

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

I just have to say that the 2 post by One Son are awesome. Prayer is your best weapon in this situation. I do have one idea. I suggest that you go into the class ahead of time and pray. If you believe in annointing oil, use it. Just ask God to be so present that it is real to these friends. Ask for their ears to be opened and that they would come into contact with people of God. Most of all, rebuke Satan from the room, let him know that he has no place there. I think that I would pray for deliverance also.
I will be praying here also.
Hugs and Prayers,
Christy

Christy, that is an amazing idea!! I am always there before everyone else, and thats exactly what I am going to do. I am going to pray over the room, the speaker, everything. And I am certainly going to start telling Satan that he has NO buisness whatsoever within this group.

It is very frustrating, because I know deep down inside how much they are hurting. And I dont want anyone to feel like that. I want them to know and experience all the joys of having a personal relationship with Christ.

But I do lead by example, and I have been called too "godly" or too "preachy" but hey it dosent matter to me at all! I am trying to be the best woman for God... and if they want tot try and bring me down because of it... meh

 

[gusto5]

i can say im feeling your situation at a lighter level (no drugs and sex but plenty of other stuf) and first off id tell you to not take it TOO much into your own hands. id recommend you to leave it inside the hands of God.
And Dont tackle the problem as a whole. Help them one by one.

2 months ago one of my fellowship newbies (just joined) started drifting out and away from fellowship because of this thing that happened with another girl in our fellowship. Worse of all, he thinks i like this girl. I prayed and talked with him and things worked out. That was my step one. Remember, take one thing at a time and Pray Everyday. Prayer is something you can have with God. Its an oppertunity for you to talk to God one on one. Tell him everything and he'll help you in all ways.

 

[erinm]

I encourage you to keep on praying and to trust and have faith while you continue trying to reach your friends.

 

[One Son of Many]

Prayer is an extremely powerful tool. Faith is also equally important and powerful. Combine the two, faith and prayer, then sit back and watch the miracles! Have faith that your friends will get over this 'exciting' stage of their lives, then pray their direction will change. Are you in a position where you can invite them (either singly or as a group) to do things where drugs/alcohol/sex are not needed or easily obtainable? You can show by example that those things aren't needed to have a good time.

Humbleness takes a lot of that particular behavior from a person and it seems like a big part of that particular age group struggles with humbleness. How does one obtain humbleness? About two months ago, I didn't feel like I was very humble. I felt I didn't understand it. So one day I put in a prayer 'God, what is humbleness?' Well, thanks to God, he answered my prayer and showed me some of what humbleness is all about and I consider my lesson on humbleness learned for life. I tell you this so maybe there may be hope that your friends might earnestly seek God and ask him what humbleness might be. There may be a subtle way you could help guide them to that effect. Beware, though, that His methods are sometimes hard but very effective.

Maybe some of the other posters might have ideas of subtle ways you could help lead your friends to pray to God for humbleness. I personally don't have any good suggestions on how to do it. I'll pray on it today for some ideas and would suggest you continue to be vigilant with your prayers for your friends. Those friends are very fortunate they have a good christian friend like you to pray for them.

 

[leastone]

Without a doubt, faithful prayer is your greatest weapon. Perhaps the Lord is using this to teach you about intercessory prayer, among other spiritual things. In your quiet, alone prayers, ask Him to reveal to you what He wants you to do; if He is wanting you to change; if He is allowing this to grow you into a new, deeper relationship with Him.

The most important outcome is that Jesus is glorified in you and your youth group; only the Holy Spirit can effect change in a person, so as His Presence is intensified, others will be affected! Finally, don't be deceived by outward appearances or even by what your friends may say; stay the course!

Remember, nothing happens in life that is not of the Father; Satan belongs to God and is used by Him as our adversary to strengthen us, for His purposes; adversity is God's way of getting our attention and causing us to grow in Christ.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Humm thats interresting leastone... thanks... Thats for sure. I have really been praying for the Holy Spirit to just move and impact this group in a major way. And I have also been prayihng that satan has to part in this group anymore, and been asking God to cover them with the blood of Jesus. I have also been asking this of myself too... since I feel the presure nby my young adults pastor, because he says I need to stay strong FOR them. LIke they need to see how I am living... and that puts alot of pressure on a girl... to know that everyt move I make they are watching me... but in the same way... it makes me thing twice about the things I say and do around them....

 

[Heinrich]

I didn't read the thread.. only the first post.
I think this calls for intercession!!!!!!!!!!!
Bind all attempts of the Devil to do something bad like a car
crash ect.
Ask the Lord to not punish them for there sins but that he
will move in his mighty ways to bring them back to him so that
they may see his Love and run back to him.
Ask the Holy Spirit to confict protect and touch each one of them.
Abraham standed in for a City! you can stand in the gap for these people!
O yes you must clean your hearts and not try to judge them.
Pray in the spirit while interceding if you can. Come together.

Trust God(Have faith) for a breakthought.

God = Love!
It's not in his will to have something bad happen.. so pray that
his will be done! (His will would be for them to come to him

Hope this is in time

 

[Rafael]

Standing in the gap - fasting and prayer. Amen.

 

[Sharky]

I'm faithful that the gut feeling you and they're experiencing is the Holy Spirit telling you to get direct and upfront, and to them to quite plainly STOP.

I doubt it it's satan doing that. The last thing he wants is to warn you and them.

If they're not believers tell them that's what the Holy Spirit says.

Do pray for them and tell them about Jesus. I'm not there so i can't say anything else. This stuff is on top of my head.

Sometimes you'll need to get them to go through the consequences before they find a breakthrough. EG: get them to tell their parents. Remember sin thrives in darkness (secrecy). They might get in trouble but it's alot better than having worse consequences.

Do it out of love with all gentlness.

Oh yes and PRAYER! Never forget the power of that.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

raphe.... can you explain to me what you mean by "standing in the gap"? I am not familiar with this term... and I dont really knoiw a whole lot about fasting either. I mean I know you go without eating, and durring eating times you pray... but I donno I guess I would want more info about ir before I go ahead and do it.

 

[leastone]

I need to stay strong FOR them. LIke they need to see how I am living... and that puts alot of pressure on a girl... to know that everyt move I make they are watching me

Hi:

Honestly, I wouldn't let any of this put pressure on you...the Holy Spirit is a true gentleman and never applies "pressure" - only the enemy does that. Part of the secret of intercessory prayer is what some of the older believers called "praying through": praying until you have peace within about it. When you receive that you will know that the Father has heard and answered your request, and then you can just praise Him for it.

One of the amazing things about living by faith is that by dying to ourselves - piece by piece - somehow in Christ we become even more who we truly are, so that we can rest in Him and just "be ourselves". And being willing to give our time and effort to sincerely pray for others is one way of truly dying to ourselves - out of love.

I sincerely believe that you will be blessed through this experience and find yourself in a deeper relationship with the Lord as a result - for when He blesses one, He blesses all around.

One of the greatest witnesses to others is when they see/sense the true freedom in a person who knows the Lord Jesus in a real and personal relationship; without a word being spoken that Spirit of Freedom convicts them of what they do not have - but deeply desire. My advice is to say nothing more about any of this to anyone involved - not the people for whom you are praying, nor even to the other members of your group - except in sincere and loving prayer for them to the Father. Do that and you will find your love for them growing and they will sense that love and respond to it.

Remember: God is a God of faith, Who always responds to faith. Also, often we don't know exactly what or how to pray for another person, mainly because (unless the Lord reveals it) we don't know exactly what is going on within them or in their lives. But, the Holy Spirit does know! So you may need to ask Him what He would have you pray, what His will is for them, so that you are praying in accord with His will.