please help. i don't know what to do. i am really nervous, the anxiety covers me when i make social interactions HELP!
I was like that when young, in my twenties, for years, and I was only able to be comfortable when doing a role, which can help of course -- because one role is the friendly neighbor, "love your neighbor as yourself", and that's a role, to do -- but putting on a role isn't the ultimate solution I have now finally, so many years later.
Along the way, one aid to me was finding an extraverted friend, who did most of the social initiative, so that I didn't have to do a lot, and slowly I became feeling safe, and I could do some, but again, this was not the ultimate solution, the one I now have, the thing that when I stay in it makes me comfortable everywhere(!), all the time.
To use a metaphor, if your car is stalled, it could help to have people push or get a tow, and roles are perhaps like a push, and that extraverted friend was like a tow. Good things. But not
the thing. I got some tune up also -- evening events where the purpose was to meet a stranger and be friendly in a safe way, guided by a therapist. But a tune up was not the thing either.
The thing finally was to get gas, so the engine could start and run.
That for me, that crucial missing thing, that ultimate solution was doing what Christ told us is "the greatest commandment", fully, with everything I had, even to an hour or two of effort to do it in those first few times. Then, once I did, my situation inside changed radically.
Luke 10:27, Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Deuteronomy 6:5....
28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
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Here's how I worked on that --
Doing the greatest commandment fully, with all you have, "all your might", everything, is a profoundly life changing thing, and what happened is better than anything else I've experienced in life. Luke ch 10, v 27. To get there, give it all you have. The first time I tried to do all of it took an hour or two of total effort and focus. For me: On the level of heart, I remembered all He has done for me, redeeming me from my profound level of sin, and accepting me back. So much gratitude and love. (Repentance or remembering how you are forgiven is a powerful entry to this gratitude and love -- knowing you are forgiven even despite what you've done!) Another person might remember the blessings He has given, and how that makes them feel. That's the heart level. The mind level is will and intent. You know what God has done for you, redeeming you from sin even when you were an enemy of righteousness, or protecting you even though you did not earn it, and you are choosing to give it all you've got to Love God. Knowing this is the greatest commandment, we choose to put ourselves all in for it. The soul is that part of you that is always there and unchanging, and not affected by the events of the moment. The most natural....relationship of your soul to the Creator of your soul is simply belonging/love. It's the natural condition, and the real challenge for most of us is finding our own soul, and meditation or focus, time with zero distractions can help, to get in touch with that. The deepest part of you loves God, wants to be with Him. You embrace that. All of your might is to drop all else for a while, and devote every bit of your ability and self into this, all at once. It's worth hours, because eternity is his gift to you.