I am gay. Am I a bad person?

[Robert Reed]

My name is Robert Reed. For the past fifteen years I have struggled with my homosexuality, even though it conflicts with my faith. I am married and I have a daughter. I have threatened many of my gay lovers because of my conflict and that I don't want my loving wife to find out. I ask you if there's anything I can do to help myself?

 

[JustMeSee]

Seek a therapist.

 

[Sitswithamouse]

I think you need to take a serious look at why you are doing what you are doing.
You have to decide between your wife or your homosexuality.

You cannot have both and you are deceiving your wife and it's not fair to her. You are also threatening your other partners so they don't tell your wife.
It's not for me to judge, but what I will say is that you can't have it both ways and must make a choice for yourself and all concerned.

 

[Joykins]

My name is Robert Reed. For the past fifteen years I have struggled with my homosexuality, even though it conflicts with my faith. I am married and I have a daughter. I have threatened many of my gay lovers because of my conflict and that I don't want my loving wife to find out. I ask you if there's anything I can do to help myself?

I suggest you start by being honest with your wife.

 

[tbird_energizerbunny]

My name is Robert Reed. For the past fifteen years I have struggled with my homosexuality, even though it conflicts with my faith. I am married and I have a daughter. I have threatened many of my gay lovers because of my conflict and that I don't want my loving wife to find out. I ask you if there's anything I can do to help myself?

First things first, you need to get out of relationships with your lovers. If you're having a conflict within yourself, you need to get to the place where you are okay with your sexuality. If you are married, you should be honest, up front and tell her that you've at least had relations that were of the same sex so that she will know that you are gay. If you love your wife, and I suspect that you do, or otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice, then you just gotta trust her that eventually, she'll be okay with it. If you desire that your sexuality be changed, God can move mountains, and certainly he can remove this sexual sin from you, but you may have to resist it with all you've got. God can do so many wonders, and I promise, he will carry you through this.

You are not a bad person, at least you recognize this, and are not in denail of it. That's definately a step up. But I would be honest and seek the truth in all you do...and if you truly desire to become straight, take the appropriate steps. But your wife needs to know, it's only fair to her. I know you don't want her to find out, but you know, what if you do have a sexual disease or something. I know it's stereotypical of me to suspect it, but as with all relationships and extramaritial affiars, I would suggest this to anyone out there, and I suggest it to you. While you may have used protective measures, I'm sure she'd appreciate it just the same.

My prayers are for you. I pray that you find happiness...and that you seek truth, and forego deception. If you have to hide it, I'm pretty sure it's not right.

 

[tbird_energizerbunny]

and you're not a bad person, you're just a human being, just like all of us, who does bad things...and that's just like all of us here.

 

[wanderingone]

Is there help for you? There's help for most people. Find a therapist, confess to your wife and stop threatening people because of your own insecurities. While your community might be somewhat responsible for your fear of coming out of the closet being closeted isn't an excuse to cheat on your wife or try to intimidate people to keep from being exposed. -- and say hi to florence for me.

 

[Molal]

Great responses guys - thanks.

Robert Reed - Good luck in your search.

God bless.

 

[PetersKeys]

My name is Robert Reed. For the past fifteen years I have struggled with my homosexuality, even though it conflicts with my faith. I am married and I have a daughter. I have threatened many of my gay lovers because of my conflict and that I don't want my loving wife to find out. I ask you if there's anything I can do to help myself?

You really need to work this out and talk with your wife. For the sake of your child do not get a divorce or get seperated so you can be with other people more freely. Your wife does not deserve what you are doing to her and neither does your daughter. This is adultry and just because its not with another woman dosen't in any way lower how terrible this is. Stop putting your lust above the importance of your family. Its God, then family, then you. If its getting to a point where u cannot control it then I suggest medication(something to lower libido and relieve depression like SSRIs) and someone to talk to as it could be a sign that you may be suffering from depression or stress.

 

[Alexandrah]

No, you are not a bad person because you are gay. You are a bad person because you are allowing your spouse to believe she is married to someone that loves her and is sexually attracted to her. If you loved her or valued her as a person you would be honest with her and allow her to make her own choices--instead of forcing your life choices on her.

 

[Illuminatus]

No, you are not a bad person. Ethically, it's hard to defend being in a sexual relationship outside of marriage. That's something you can and should control. There's nothing wrong with homosexuality - it's perfectly natural, and (despite what some may tell you), it's a genetic trait, not a choice. You should not be ashamed of it or uncomfortable about it, it's a part of who you are. However, you must start being honest with your wife and daughter. I would suggest seeing a professional therapist first, preferably not a religious one, as they are more likely to (consciously or unconsciously) attempt to impose their religious beliefs on you. See a psychologist. Get your head straight, then you need to talk to your wife. Do you still love her? Marriage isn't all about sex.

 

[Zentancia]

You are not a bad person. I actually know someone who was in a similar situation. He was married for 25 years before he realized he was gay, and he was just honest with his wife. That's what you need to do. Good luck

 

[Beanieboy]

Robert Reed?
I call POE.

Level with Carol that you are in love with Greg. It will break Marcia's heart, but she will live.

 

[Polycarp_fan]

My name is Robert Reed. For the past fifteen years I have struggled with my homosexuality, even though it conflicts with my faith. I am married and I have a daughter. I have threatened many of my gay lovers because of my conflict and that I don't want my loving wife to find out. I ask you if there's anything I can do to help myself?

First, never post your real life info on the internet. Hopefuly that is not your real name. Or you do want your "wife" to know. Which of course she should in any case. And, what is your "faith?"

"If," your faith is the one "delivered only once to the Saints," you should find a support group to stop commiting adultery, and you SHOULD Tell your wife (who of course would be a woman according to the faith written about in the Bible. You may be a pagan for all I know.

Who "told" you you were "gay?" Gay is a neologism to denote homosexuality. Homosexuality is a thought or an action. Nothing more than that. Don't get infleunced by delusions and base sexual desires.

You are indeed "a bad person" for having sex with men and having sex with your wife with her not being informed of the danger you are putting her in.

BUT!!!!! Repentance and forgiveness of your sins is also a fact in the "Faith delivered only once to the Saints."

Most importantly, IF your wife doesn't divorce you, which she has every right to do, you should focus on the beauty of her as a person and the incredible nature of the relationship God has put you in. Start seeing your wife as yourself and realize that gay is a belief system that can be overcome with the realization that the beauty of the relationship of a husband and a wife (immutably man and woman) transcends the base desires of our common selfish nature to arrive at the beauty of God. Your beauty created a child. That beauty is indescribable.

Now, start from the beautiful and go from there.

 

[Beanieboy]

And what woman wouldn't want a Will and Grace (not their real names) relationship?
Am I right ladies? A guy who will go shopping with you at Barney's and tell you what makes you look hot and what makes you look like a soccer mom, and then you can watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and talk about how cute Brad Pitt is?

 

[Aerika]

And what woman wouldn't want a Will and Grace (not their real names) relationship?
Am I right ladies? A guy who will go shopping with you at Barney's and tell you what makes you look hot and what makes you look like a soccer mom, and then you can watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and talk about how cute Brad Pitt is?

totally !!

 

[Alexandrah]

Robert Reed?
I call POE.

Level with Carol that you are in love with Greg. It will break Marcia's heart, but she will live.

Ha! the story is exactly the same.

"Reed was briefly married to Marilyn Rosenberg (1957-1959). The union produced one daughter, Caroline Reed, who was born 1958. Caroline had a small role in an episode of The Brady Bunch entitled, "The Slumber Caper." Her character's name was Karen and she is credited as "Carolyn Reed". This episode also reunited Reed with his co-star from The Defenders, E.G. Marshall. Reed was secretive about his sexuality.[4] Several of his partners have since come out and stated that he threatened them after sex, that he wanted his homosexuality to remain hidden. On the Brady Bunch anniversary, "Still Brady after All these Years," the cast mentioned him taking co-star Florence Henderson out to dinner several times.
Robert Reed died in 1992 at age 59 in Pasadena, California, from bladder cancer; he was suffering from complications of AIDS at the time. He is buried in Skokie, Illinois."



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Reed

 

[wanderingone]

First, never post your real life info on the internet. Hopefuly that is not your real name.

But he's dead... so I think he's safe

 

[wanderingone]

Ha! the story is exactly the same.

"Reed was briefly married to Marilyn Rosenberg (1957-1959). The union produced one daughter, Caroline Reed, who was born 1958. Caroline had a small role in an episode of The Brady Bunch entitled, "The Slumber Caper." Her character's name was Karen and she is credited as "Carolyn Reed". This episode also reunited Reed with his co-star from The Defenders, E.G. Marshall. Reed was secretive about his sexuality.[4] Several of his partners have since come out and stated that he threatened them after sex, that he wanted his homosexuality to remain hidden. On the Brady Bunch anniversary, "Still Brady after All these Years," the cast mentioned him taking co-star Florence Henderson out to dinner several times.
Robert Reed died in 1992 at age 59 in Pasadena, California, from bladder cancer; he was suffering from complications of AIDS at the time. He is buried in Skokie, Illinois."



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Reed

That's why I told him to say hello to Florence for me

 

[wanderingone]

And what woman wouldn't want a Will and Grace (not their real names) relationship?
Am I right ladies? A guy who will go shopping with you at Barney's and tell you what makes you look hot and what makes you look like a soccer mom, and then you can watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and talk about how cute Brad Pitt is?

Hmm.. well yeah... after a dozen + years of marriage I personally would be thrilled to find out I was really not a wife, just a [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] hag...