I am blessed with Asperger's Syndrome

[uniquetadpole]

Hi,
I am a 34 year old female who was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome this past June (2005). Since then I have found a whole new found freedom. Ever since I can remember I have struggled with stuff that my gifts and talents have hidden from everyone including myself. For example, I have always have this unnerving need to be held non-stop...this was not an emotional need but rather a physical one. I couldn't find a way to tell anyone in a way that they actually understood. I was accused of being too needy, and emotionally "unstable" and similar ideas. I was afraid someone would look at my parents and accuse them of not loving me enough...when I knew all too well they did...I just seemed to need more than the average kid. I even used to cry myself to sleep because of it. Now I own a weighted blanket and that urge has subsided. After about three nights of using the blanket, I slept a full eight hours with only waking up once for the first time in about 15 years or more.

The other thing that had freed me...is my inability to say things sometimes. I have very prolific vocabulary and appear to have no speech problems whatsoever...I have been accuse of being shy and reserved my entire life. What people don't comprehend (a few are just now starting to understand) is that there are times that I just can say anything. I have told people in the past about it...and the comment I have always gotten is "Oh I have trouble figuring out what to say too." They totally missed it. I can hear and see my words in my head...they just won't come out of my mouth...some sort of short circut or something. So I simply appear quiet...when inside...I am the biggest motor mouth you ever met. Hence my tendency for extensive writings.

Since my diagnosis...I have found it to be a calling of mine to share with others about autism and what things are like...I feel lead to speak for those that can't speak for themselves. (Note: my "speaking" is generally written). I have already gotten my first Article published in the local Parent Support Group Newsletter. And they have asked for more.

So if those of you who have questions about what it is like to have Autism/Asperger's Syndrome or just need some ideas please don't hesitate to ask...the Autistic Spectrum Difficulties range tremendously so I may not have answers for everything...but I just might have an answer to some. I am particularly aware of the sensory difficulties that I share with my fellow Aspie's and Auti's.

 

[Mirelys]

Yay, Tadpole's here!

Nothing to add, I agree with what you say...just wanted to say hi

 

[HollyHobbie]

Hey UniqueTadpole,

I am glad that you are able to accept having Aspergers Syndrome ! As a mom of a 3 and 5 (almost 6 ) yr old both diagnosed with autism and are on different levels (My son whose the 5 yr old is in the middle but leaning more towards the Lower part of the autism spectrum. My daughter is on the higher scale) I am always fascinated by people like you who accept their disabilities and are willing to help others.

May God continue to bless you
Love In Chirst
Holly Hobbie
Laura

 

[uniquetadpole]

I guess I don't see AS as a disability...but rather as merely a difference in the way I function in my life. I just have to learn new ways to do things that don't come natural to me or maybe don't come at all. We all have that in our lives...no matter whether we are labeled or not. You have weaknesses..but you use your strengths to compensate...that is all I do...just that some people with ASDs can't see those solutions in their lives and need help to find them...that is all.

I have two life motos, one is "I have no problems, just challenges." A teacher had it written on the chalkboard one day when we had to sit in a different classroom for a period since our reg teacher was out sick. That was three days before I graduated from high school...
The other saying is from the bible...can't think of the exact verseit comes from in Ephesians...it is the one that states..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and it is these sayings that has gotten me through some pretty tough times...God keeps reminding me of these quote on a daily basis...keeps me close to Him.

Tad

 

[gal4God]

soz but i can't see how AS is a gud thing. I was disgoised with AS as a kid and i would say AS is more of a cruse than a blessing.
MGB
Fionaban

 

[uniquetadpole]

soz but i can't see how AS is a gud thing. I was disgoised with AS as a kid and i would say AS is more of a cruse than a blessing.
MGB
Fionaban

Maybe that is because those around you have treated it as such...it is up to you how you want to look at it.

I mean God created you perfectly in His image so therefore it is a blessing...you can choose to embrace it or be like everyone else who doesn't understand you and fight it, deny it, be angry with it, get depressed about it, feel sorry for yourself, the list goes on...

this goes for people with AS and Autism...their family memebers, really anyone...cuz everyone has some sort of challenge in their life...personally I think God allows us to struggle with challenges to bring us closer to Him...(and yeah sometimes I think things appear in a sense to backfire on Him...but I choose to believe it is all just a part of His plan). He desires a close relationship with each and every one of us. What better way to get your attention than to remove all those things that are easy and force us to rely on Him. Frankly, I crave challenges...I find the outcome so very rewarding that it is usually worth the battle. And I have been through some pretty heavy artillery...I am no stranger to pain, physical, emotional and yes even sexual...so I don't say these things lightly.

I will admit...there are many behaviors and issues related to my AS that I would like to change...and I am working towards those things one baby step at a time. But all in all...without my AS I would not be so honest, sincere, loyal, loving, caring, empathetic, couragous, daring, strong...I would not be the perfect me that God wants me to be. Everyday I find that God uses me to talk to people aand bring them closer to Him...all I have to do is open my eyes to it.

I think that is what life is all about...using your strengths to overcome your weaknesses and help others fight their own battles as a vessel of God's Holy Light. The rest is just details.

 

[PickADilly]

I think it's wonderful how you can see things this way,Tad. I know you are a blessing to say many because of it.

 

[vespasia]

I agree with 'Tad.

If I did not have aspergers I would not be so effective in research; study or maintaining a complex set of files and finances.

Aspergers is a blessing.

Having said that there are those who make my life difficult because they ask me to change my way of working too quickly and yes for those further out in the spectrum life has to be harder because for them they are not simply visiting an differant culture but a whole alien place to where they normally live.

 

[exwitchoz]

Thanx for sharing all that tadpole...


I've only recently been diagnosed as having Asperger's after years of being told I had depression, or Bi-Polar - or something else... and as a result being messed up by all sorts of medication that only half helped...

They are now taking me off all medication and are going to concentrate on psycho-therapy and 'behavioural retraining'...

So what you said about your own experiences was REALLY encouraging to me...

Thanx so much for being so open...

 

[uniquetadpole]

I am so glad it helped!!!!

If you ever need to talk about any of it just let me know.

Tad

 

[Hackett]

Hi,
I am a 34 year old female who was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome this past June (2005). Since then I have found a whole new found freedom. Ever since I can remember I have struggled with stuff that my gifts and talents have hidden from everyone including myself. For example, I have always have this unnerving need to be held non-stop...this was not an emotional need but rather a physical one. I couldn't find a way to tell anyone in a way that they actually understood. I was accused of being too needy, and emotionally "unstable" and similar ideas. I was afraid someone would look at my parents and accuse them of not loving me enough...when I knew all too well they did...I just seemed to need more than the average kid. I even used to cry myself to sleep because of it. Now I own a weighted blanket and that urge has subsided. After about three nights of using the blanket, I slept a full eight hours with only waking up once for the first time in about 15 years or more.

The other thing that had freed me...is my inability to say things sometimes. I have very prolific vocabulary and appear to have no speech problems whatsoever...I have been accuse of being shy and reserved my entire life. What people don't comprehend (a few are just now starting to understand) is that there are times that I just can say anything. I have told people in the past about it...and the comment I have always gotten is "Oh I have trouble figuring out what to say too." They totally missed it. I can hear and see my words in my head...they just won't come out of my mouth...some sort of short circut or something. So I simply appear quiet...when inside...I am the biggest motor mouth you ever met. Hence my tendency for extensive writings.

Since my diagnosis...I have found it to be a calling of mine to share with others about autism and what things are like...I feel lead to speak for those that can't speak for themselves. (Note: my "speaking" is generally written). I have already gotten my first Article published in the local Parent Support Group Newsletter. And they have asked for more.

So if those of you who have questions about what it is like to have Autism/Asperger's Syndrome or just need some ideas please don't hesitate to ask...the Autistic Spectrum Difficulties range tremendously so I may not have answers for everything...but I just might have an answer to some. I am particularly aware of the sensory difficulties that I share with my fellow Aspie's and Auti's.

God Bless you!! I am so glad you are using what you have learned to help others. What a blessing you are.

 

[exwitchoz]

I am so glad it helped!!!!

If you ever need to talk about any of it just let me know.

Hey you've helped more than you know already...

I've been on a Disability Pension for a few years while Dr's have poked and prodded and filled me with pills trying to work out why I was 'different'...

Well, that's just it... I AM 'different'... not 'disabled'... not 'mental'... just different...

Now the challenge is to capitalize on the difference and make it work FOR me instead of AGAINST me for a change...

Thanx again

(((HUGS)))

 

[FloridaMassachusetts]

Hello!

I'm an aspie as well. I was diagnosed in the later 1990's and will be 29 in July.

 

[uniquetadpole]

Welcome FloridaMassachusetts,

I am glad you found us...hope you enjoy things...if you have any questions or even need somene to talk to...I will be around.

Tad

 

[Hishandmaiden]

I had never been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, but I always find it a wonder why I was so different from the other children in my life. When I was young, my parents called me "touch me not" as a nickname because I would not let anyone other than my parents touched me. When I was a child, I was so withdrawn than my mother tried really hard to try to help me to make friends with the people around me. I always find it a hard thing to make friend, and unless circumstance brings me to make a friend, I will not have friends. I lose friends, easily as well. I make many friend only to lose them because they think I was... boring.
I used to think I was weird, somewhat different from people because the people around me who were my age seemed to be so obsessed with trival stuffs like fashions, and all the things that bored me that teenagers and people my age loved to do. For me, I was obsessed with pursuing righteousness, seeking information, and observing trends, and sometimes, I liked to get away from people and observed them. Sometimes, I observed even myself. Sometimes, I see myself as a third person and I look at myself as a strange and foreign person that is worthy of my close study and analysis.
I think romance is silly, before I know God. I think feelings are silly, too, before I know God. Knowing God changes me, before I know God, I am not interested in anything or anybody.
I don't like uncertain things. I will eat the same type of food everyday in school for weeks until I am sick of it. Then, I will change and I will start eating this food as well non-stop and not change it until I am sick of it, again. I dread moving houses, and going to new places.
I cannot cope with changes very well. When I see people in my cell group leaving my cell, it affects me very badly. I cannot cope with the change, and as a result, I often withdraw from the church. Because I always cannot find words to express my feelings, I can only use pictures to express them, sometimes I struggle to express myself with regard to what I am actually struggling with. It takes a long time before I know that actually, I am hurt by the change of my cell group, by people moving away and new people coming in. I don't quite know how to be myself before new people.
These are just some of the struggles that seem to make me different from people. Do I have Asperger's Syndrome?

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

I think it is brilliant that you see having Aspergers as a blessing, Tad. So many people see it as a problem. You really are an inspiration.

Derbystudent

 

[uniquetadpole]

I think it is brilliant that you see having Aspergers as a blessing, Tad. So many people see it as a problem. You really are an inspiration.

Derbystudent

Thank you...I appreciate your comments...

hugs,
Tad

 

[uniquetadpole]

I had never been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, but I always find it a wonder why I was so different from the other children in my life. When I was young, my parents called me "touch me not" as a nickname because I would not let anyone other than my parents touched me. When I was a child, I was so withdrawn than my mother tried really hard to try to help me to make friends with the people around me. I always find it a hard thing to make friend, and unless circumstance brings me to make a friend, I will not have friends. I lose friends, easily as well. I make many friend only to lose them because they think I was... boring.
I used to think I was weird, somewhat different from people because the people around me who were my age seemed to be so obsessed with trival stuffs like fashions, and all the things that bored me that teenagers and people my age loved to do. For me, I was obsessed with pursuing righteousness, seeking information, and observing trends, and sometimes, I liked to get away from people and observed them. Sometimes, I observed even myself. Sometimes, I see myself as a third person and I look at myself as a strange and foreign person that is worthy of my close study and analysis.
I think romance is silly, before I know God. I think feelings are silly, too, before I know God. Knowing God changes me, before I know God, I am not interested in anything or anybody.
I don't like uncertain things. I will eat the same type of food everyday in school for weeks until I am sick of it. Then, I will change and I will start eating this food as well non-stop and not change it until I am sick of it, again. I dread moving houses, and going to new places.
I cannot cope with changes very well. When I see people in my cell group leaving my cell, it affects me very badly. I cannot cope with the change, and as a result, I often withdraw from the church. Because I always cannot find words to express my feelings, I can only use pictures to express them, sometimes I struggle to express myself with regard to what I am actually struggling with. It takes a long time before I know that actually, I am hurt by the change of my cell group, by people moving away and new people coming in. I don't quite know how to be myself before new people.
These are just some of the struggles that seem to make me different from people. Do I have Asperger's Syndrome?

I am not a Dr. But I would say you definitely have enough traits to make it worth looking into seeking a diagnosis. I would print this post out and take it to a psychologist or other trained professional who is familiar with ASD's (Autistic Spectrum Disorders). You might even want to take some time to write down more specific examples of these characteristics you describe...that is what I did...the more specific of a history you have the easier and more thorough of an evaluation you will get.

If you have more questions about how to go about this...please feel free to ask...I will do what I can to help.

hugs,
Tad

 

[JamiArch]

Wow, I am impressed with the fact that you say you are blessed with having Asperger's. I'm 23 and I have been diagnosed with Asperger's as well. Sometimes I wish I didn't have it but then I would probably not be who I am today. I consider myself shy as well. I used to keep my Asperger's info to myself and not tell anyone. Now I talk about it when I feel comfortable. One more thing, my boyfriend doesn't mind that I have Asperger's and he loves me very much.

Sorry to bore you with all this.

 

[ContraMundum]

It's been hell for me and my relationships, but I too feel that I'm blessed with AS.

I'm glad to be what I am, and since being diagnosed, things have been a lot smoother.

Praise God.