I right now feel apathy and not as much fear as before. I seem to be falling away. I don't know if I could do anything about this. It feels like I do not understand the Bible at all anymore, like why Jesus died on the cross and such. I really don't want to fall away because I know the consequences. I wish I could do something. I don't know if these are just feelings though
When's the last time you went to church? How connected are you in the church?
I ask, because I feel like I know how you're feeling. After my dad passed away a couple years ago I lost a lot of motivation to do much, and I stopped going to church. I've been chugging along the past several years, but constantly being drained spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
I didn't try to stop going to church, I just lacked the energy to leave my house. Even as I was on this forum talking about how important being connected and being supported by the Body of Christ is. The importance of hearing the word of God, celebrating the Lord's Supper.
Things began to reach a boiling point several weeks ago. Filled with all manner of intrusive thoughts, and the darkness of loss--like my faith itself was slipping through my fingers. This past Saturday I broke down, and got in touch with family. They came over, and I was an emotional wreck, shaking, sobbing uncontrollably. On Sunday I went to church for the first time in over three years.
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that everything is magically good now. But I've been in the Scriptures again, and have taken time out of my day to sing hymns, to read the Scriptures, and to pray. I have a very long road ahead of me, but I'm taking baby steps.
We can't do this alone. None of us can. We aren't islands. We're people, and people need people. And the Church is supposed to be where God and people meet: Meeting together in worship, meeting together in the word, meeting together in the Lord's Supper. We were built to be for one another. We are meant for life together.
The New Testament calls this koinonia, I don't know what the translation of this word into Swedish is, but in English it is usually translated as communion or fellowship. It's life together; I for you, you for me. Meeting one another in life, and supporting each other in our needs--with love.
St. Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians compares the Church to a body, speaking of how a body has many members--hands, feet, arms, etc. The Church is called the Body of Christ for this reason. We depend on one another, because it is only together, as the Body, that we are healthy.
-CryptoLutheran