I am not running away but I am leaving my father and siblings this Wednesday. I tried my best to fix this family but everyone at home are so damaging and abusive. I quite playing to silent abused slave. I am leaving to Charlotte, NC to start my life from there onward. Pray for me and my safety.
I have some simple observations.
You are not good at drawing lines and setting boundaries, and tolerate abuse. Unfortunately this tends to also include dependency, and more complex involvement. Because you have stayed for so long, you do need counselling. The sad reality is no matter how disfunctional the family one still loves the people involved, which is a good thing, but it tends to mean you relate and bond with people who live in a similar situation.
To put things into context how anger and frustration is expressed has been taught to you all your life, and often leads to the problems the families suffer from. Such thing do not change over-night and learning to love, to be affectionate, to be appropriate is a difficult but also enlivening road to walk in the Lord.
I have seen how generation after generation these scenarios play out, because of the emotional rules people operate under. But praise God, He does bring freedom is we apply love, repentance, brokenness and allow ourselves to be loved by others.
I hope you find a new group of people to support you and help you in your walk. God bless you
