I’m ok with dying

[salt-n-light]

I’ve pondered and I’m ok with dying.

Yeah I’m drowning in debt and trauma but I wouldn’t leave anyone empty handed. I already have insurance in place so my family would be ok.

My job would be missing someone but at least the interns I’ve trained would finally get their raises and I wouldn’t cost people clients so win-win.

Yeah I may have friend but they are dropping like flies anyways. My vibe isn’t positive enough and my thoughts are without merit. It seems like these days I can say nothing right, I’m already being alienated and they go out without inviting me. I’ve pour so much into friendships and it just never sticks. I wake up hoping to text a friend, and realize that I don’t have anyone to talk to.

So I’m ok, if God was to take me today.

 

[Jonaitis]

But, what if God is the reason to live? He's not fickle like we are, he can be trusted and loved and lived for.

 

[ilovejcsog]

Your family wouldn't be okay! Your world would not be okay and you wouldn't be okay with out them and God.
You always have us to talk to and many just like you who need a friend. This is the best place to find a Christian friend.
Happy valentines day to you!

How about posting in my thread on being lonely today? Tell us how your day is going?

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all!

Just a little reminder, you are blessed with family . That's nore important then friends. I don't have family and I have a friend. Although I love my friend I would much rather have family. Consider the blessings you have

 

[devin553344]

I’ve pondered and I’m ok with dying.

Yeah I’m drowning in debt and trauma but I wouldn’t leave anyone empty handed. I already have insurance in place so my family would be ok.

My job would be missing someone but at least the interns I’ve trained would finally get their raises and I wouldn’t cost people clients so win-win.

Yeah I may have friend but they are dropping like flies anyways. My vibe isn’t positive enough and my thoughts are without merit. It seems like these days I can say nothing right, I’m already being alienated and they go out without inviting me. I’ve pour so much into friendships and it just never sticks. I wake up hoping to text a friend, and realize that I don’t have anyone to talk to.

So I’m ok, if God was to take me today.

I'm also OK with dying. I find that fear of dying is one of the tempers tools he uses against mankind. I just don't want to die a terrible death. I think some ways of dying are better than others.

Anyways, I hope you have friends, good ones. If you find 10 friends then maybe 1 is a good one. But even when friendship fails we always have family, and they're better than friends. God Bless

 

[Missy08]

I am praying for you.

 

[Jeshu]

i'm sorry to hear that death is desirable over life. i know how it feels! i've felt like that for decades. Often even demanding God kill me. It were hard times that only very slowly changed for me. i have a depressive illness and depression is something i struggle with daily.

A poem i penned when i struggled with suicide.

Suicidal

Why Oh Lord do I want to die?
Why is my Good Life up?
Why am I down in that pit?

You know I hate my life.
I'm sorry.
You know I want to kill.
I'm sorry
You know I don't want to heed You.
I'm sorry

Is it unfaithful love speaking in me?
Is that what You are trying to say?

My God, My God why have I forsaken You?
I still want to die!
Though I'm already in Hell!
Please Jesus Come and save!

Still i've travelled a long way from suicide, today death seems attractive, but i have so many new goals with Jesus. Things i want to see if i can achieve again. Faith in God's love brought me much good life to fight the bad life. Love, gentleness, caring, sharing, patience, long suffering, endurance, praising and thanking are all realities that live in your heart and help fight depression. Gaining those is what life is all about, for only they are eternal.

This is what i realised life is all about. That we fight our bad life, not give in to it, but resist it because we want God's good life instead! The more of God's good life i let Jesus sow in my heart the more i have the ability to fight my bad life.

It would work like this for you as well. If you put your faith in God's love then you will also get new reason to live for and new hopes to aid you. You can be assured of that.

Be blessed

To God's Depressed Child,

To think less of yourself then God's own
Brings you much pain and suffering.
Your worth is an incredible high price
Also for you did Jesus die on the cross.

Depression is also what devil's lies brings inside
letting a low-self-esteem your good life rob
Untruths roaming freely through heart and mind
Evil lies extinguishing all happiness and fun.

His loving truth brings you His good life
While to believe lies brings pain and grief
So hold onto the promises Jesus made to you
and don't let Satan your good life squander.

Take hold of God's precious loving truth.
A life in Him stays safe from lies that hurt.
Jesus' truth will comfort your bleeding heart
Lovingly remaking your fallen life anew.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

So I’m ok, if God was to take me today.

Yep I've been there to, in fact the last Holiday season into late January was a depressing time.

Ultimately I do believe our lives matter. I actually found some comfort watching some videos on Stoicism (which many early Christians found helpful, and reflects many Bible verses).

One good aspect of this kind of depression is it can motivate you to take your spiritual life more seriously. This world is passing away, if you can focus on God and the future afterlife then your experiences can be a blessing, compared to all the people who are having a great time, have no time for God and when they die are caught unprepared for it.


(Some R rated language in Stoicism video)

 

[Mark Quayle]

But, what if God is the reason to live? He's not fickle like we are, he can be trusted and loved and lived for.

There is something I have seen in some old Christians, who themselves long to be gone from this hardship and to be Home with Christ: They are more patient and in no hurry, yet delight in life and exploration and discovery more than some children.

 

[Tempura]

So I’m ok, if God was to take me today.

Since you're here, God isn't OK with that just yet. I don't mean to downplay your sorrow, not at all. When we're in that situation, we don't know what God has in store for us, and through us for someone else. Only much later we will realize it. Sometimes we just have to endure. Patience and faith are molded in great ways in us, and usually when we think we are losing it all.

I know it's not the same, but I can be your friend. You can PM me anytime you want. There are some really nice people on this part of the forum, many of them know great deal about despair and loneliness. Said a prayer for you, for Christ to walk with you and comfort and guide your heart.

 

[Yusuphhai]

I am also nearly in a pit where death rules. Since we have no effective way to make us die today, We have to live. Please trust God’s love to you, even in worst situation. A little sunshine to you.

 

[anna ~ grace]

 

[sea5763]

Ive struggled with wanting to die for years. I thought that it was a good thing that I would be willing to die if God wanted that. Then it crossed my mind that maybe God wants me to live for Him. Instead. I know that depression alone is enough to drive people to want to die but try to fight it

 

[anna ~ grace]

Ive struggled with wanting to die for years. I thought that it was a good thing that I would be willing to die if God wanted that. Then it crossed my mind that maybe God wants me to live for Him. Instead. I know that depression alone is enough to drive people to want to die but try to fight it

Same, here. "Offer it up".

 

[Macchiato]

But, what if God is the reason to live? He's not fickle like we are, he can be trusted and loved and lived for.

What do you mean what if God is the reason to live? can you break that down

 

[Mark Quayle]

What do you mean what if God is the reason to live? can you break that down

The OP didn't need a long reply. And it is a huge discussion to explain --so many dimensions that God is the reason to live. In a manner of speaking, he is the ONLY reason to live.

But what immediately comes to my mind is the raw fact that he is the reason for everything --it is all about him. Not about us. We are made for him, and not for ourselves.

Furthermore, we can do nothing without him --we ARE nothing without him. He is the one who does, we do "in him". This is not all up to us, nor is even the smallest part of it up to us --not in the way that it is up to him. This is all the work of God, and we are compelled to love and obey --to do-- as if it was really us doing it. Don't take that wrong; we certainly do, but it is him in us.

 

[ChicanaRose]

I'm really sorry that you are struggling with loss of friendships right now. Please be ok with living too, and be open to what God is about to do in your life next. Praying for you.

 

[ilovejcsog]

i'm sorry to hear that death is desirable over life. i know how it feels! i've felt like that for decades. Often even demanding God kill me. It were hard times that only very slowly changed for me. i have a depressive illness and depression is something i struggle with daily.

A poem i penned when i struggled with suicide.

Suicidal

Why Oh Lord do I want to die?
Why is my Good Life up?
Why am I down in that pit?

You know I hate my life.
I'm sorry.
You know I want to kill.
I'm sorry
You know I don't want to heed You.
I'm sorry

Is it unfaithful love speaking in me?
Is that what You are trying to say?

My God, My God why have I forsaken You?
I still want to die!
Though I'm already in Hell!
Please Jesus Come and save!

Still i've travelled a long way from suicide, today death seems attractive, but i have so many new goals with Jesus. Things i want to see if i can achieve again. Faith in God's love brought me much good life to fight the bad life. Love, gentleness, caring, sharing, patience, long suffering, endurance, praising and thanking are all realities that live in your heart and help fight depression. Gaining those is what life is all about, for only they are eternal.

This is what i realised life is all about. That we fight our bad life, not give in to it, but resist it because we want God's good life instead! The more of God's good life i let Jesus sow in my heart the more i have the ability to fight my bad life.

It would work like this for you as well. If you put your faith in God's love then you will also get new reason to live for and new hopes to aid you. You can be assured of that.

Be blessed

To God's Depressed Child,

To think less of yourself then God's own
Brings you much pain and suffering.
Your worth is an incredible high price
Also for you did Jesus die on the cross.

Depression is also what devil's lies brings inside
letting a low-self-esteem your good life rob
Untruths roaming freely through heart and mind
Evil lies extinguishing all happiness and fun.

His loving truth brings you His good life
While to believe lies brings pain and grief
So hold onto the promises Jesus made to you
and don't let Satan your good life squander.

Take hold of God's precious loving truth.
A life in Him stays safe from lies that hurt.
Jesus' truth will comfort your bleeding heart
Lovingly remaking your fallen life anew.

There's not enough good to be said of your post. God bless you and Thank you from me.