I’m lost

[Gabe7587]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

 

[dreadnought]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

First of all, instead of relying on what other people are telling you, read the Bible and find out for yourself. People won't always tell you the right things, though it's true you should love the Lord with all your mind, heart, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22:34-40). And it's true we should trust the Lord (Matt 14:22-33).

 

[Bluerose31]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

Hi Gabe,
I am sorry you are suffering so much. I am glad you have come to Christian Forums. I love it here and the people are very supportive here. I hope Christian Forums helps you in your healing. I will pray that Jesus protect and guide you. God bless you.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

That sounds pretty rough, Gabe. I was somewhat in a similar position when I was your age, although I suffered more from extended situational depression. So, you say you don't have close friends. Would you say you have any friends at all at this time, whether at school or in church?

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

Yes, I can understand this. Walking the 'narrow path' after Jesus is difficult. But, what specifically are you contending with? Loneliness? Lust? Disturbing thoughts? Discontent?

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

To be truthful, I think we all find it difficult to "do these things" which Jesus has commanded us to do. Up till now, what has been the general way in which you've thought you were "relying on the Spirit"?

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

Hi what exactly are you feeling bombarded by? What types of thoughts are you having, maybe we can help to clarify what God is really asking of you and what is coming from the devil.

The fact is really that you are saved by Grace, not by works. This can be a good fall back point if you feel overwhelmed. Often times I know God would like me to reach out to people more, but it can be a struggle, and if it all becomes too much for me, I fall back on grace, the fact that I am not saved by witnessing, but by the cross.

I know in my heart that God does not mind if we do that when we feel overwhelmed. Some one was once praying for me, and also felt God was saying, "Do what you can, and fall back onto grace as you need it"... I knew what God was telling me. And He would tell you the same. Do what you can for Him, but if it is too much of a struggle, rest in His grace.

 

[Bryan H]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

You sound just. Like. Me.

You're not alone.

You're reading this because God wanted you to know that.

 

[Matthew B]

I read the NASB Bible. I haven't felt fear in about a year and eight months. The Bible states that those who are perfect in love do not fear. I am perfect in love. I love all people on earth. God loves me too. I like to think I am perfect as my heavenly Father is perfect.

"1 John 4:18New American Standard Bible (NASB)

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love." (Edited copy and paste)

Bible Gateway passage: 1 John 4:18 - New American Standard Bible

 

[longwait]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

You must be around worldly people. That must be the reason why you are feeling negative about being a christian. But then at your age life is tough. It was like that for most of us.

 

[look4hope]

Hi. First off, glad you are sharing your thoughts here.
It’s overwhelming. It will be overwhelming. Don’t push yourself to insanity by expecting things to change quick. Most of the times everything will feel like chaos.
But being here to speak your mind is a good move.
Hold on to any faith you have.

 

[Gabe7587]

That sounds pretty rough, Gabe. I was somewhat in a similar position when I was your age, although I suffered more from extended situational depression. So, you say you don't have close friends. Would you say you have any friends at all at this time, whether at school or in church?

Yes, I can understand this. Walking the 'narrow path' after Jesus is difficult. But, what specifically are you contending with? Loneliness? Lust? Disturbing thoughts? Discontent?

To be truthful, I think we all find it difficult to "do these things" which Jesus has commanded us to do. Up till now, what has been the general way in which you've thought you were "relying on the Spirit"?

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

Hi 2PhiloVoid,

1. Yes I have friends at church and School. The ones at church are Christian. But sadly there is one more thing I wrestle with and it’s social anxiety. It’s hard for me to get into social groups. I think people dont really talk to me that much, because I’m hard to have a flowing conversation with, Because I freeze up a lot. It’s painful doing stuff socially, so may the Lord help me in this.
2. It’s hard for me to pin point, but if I were to say. It would be loneliness, lust, over-examination, and discontent.
3. I don’t know what relying on the Spirit means, but my best to infer would be: relaxing and letting the Spirit transform you.

 

[Cat Loaf You]

If you believe that Christ died for your sins and God raised him from the dead you have eternal life .

You might feel like you are missing on something but in reality your youth years with or without friends won't matter that much , your friends from school will most likelly go all around places and you will end up having new ones mostly from work because it's place where you will spend 1/3 of your life .

If that is not helpfull then you might think about eternity , your 70 years here on earth are like nothing compared to eternal life so why care just suffer through it and it will get better over time

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Hi 2PhiloVoid,

Yes I have friends at church and School. The ones at church are Christian. But sadly there is one more thing I wrestle with and it’s social anxiety. It’s hard for me to get into social groups. I think people dont really talk to me that much, because I’m hard to have a flowing conversation with, Because I freeze up a lot. It’s painful doing stuff socially, so may the Lord help me in this.

Oh, dude! That sounds just like me at your age. In fact, I still struggle with some of this in public even now, and as you can tell from my CF profile, I'm quite a bit older now. Fortunately, and maybe due to age (and the help of a loving wife over the years), I've been able to reduce my social anxiety problems down by about 75% from what they were 30+ years ago. So, I'd say there can be hope for you in handling some of your anxiety, but it will take patience and time for you to "build" some new emotional frameworks in your mind to offset your current responses.

Maybe the first thing to realize is that social anxiety is a common malady among many people. So, if you're sitting in church, look around at all of your fellow Christians of all ages sitting in the pews/chairs. There's a good chance that many of them have similar feelings of anxiety.

It’s hard for me to pin point, but if I were to say. It would be loneliness, lust, over-examination, and discontent.

Well, that's kind of par for the course at age 17. Much of this probably comes about because at this age, your peers are often not the most sensitive or insightful in making evaluations about other people or in applying respect and emotional intelligence. So, persons like us actually do feel lonely because our peers aren't stepping up and interacting with us with insight or being helpful. And this applies whether it's just having friendship with other guys or trying to interact with young ladies.

Over-examination? Yeah, that's a tough one because we each can be our own worst critics, unless of course we have parents who make us feel like a heel (or are even verbally abusive). I hope that this not the case for you. But if it is, it could contribute to some of your social anxiety.

Discontent? Well, yeah. AT age 17, I remember how tough it is because I dreamt of meeting "Ms. Right" and having a loving relationship, being able to work and being able to take care of the business of life. And at this point in early life, most young people (unless they have wealthy parents) are not in a position to acquire or maintain these things in a skilled or mature way and so...we feel discontent. However, just know that some of this is normal, and it really is a part of learning to persevere throughout life, especially if we keep in mind what the apostle Peter said:

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. (1 Peter 2:11)
​

And what was he saying here? He was saying that Christians of all ages have to be prepared to do spiritual battle because the temptations (and some occasional tests) will come throughout life, some brought on by the Enemy, himself. Fortunately, from the looks of your avatar, you're already aware of all of this, Gabe.

I don’t know what relying on the Spirit means, but my best to infer would be: relaxing and letting the Spirit transform you.

Well...that's part of it. But from what Scripture tells us, it's a matter of: 1) praying to the Lord, 2) learning God's Will from Scripture, and 3) fellowshipping with other Christians (of all ages) for friendship, encouragement, and/or edification. And from the sound of it, you seem to be already doing this. Just keep in mind that relying on the Spirit should eventually lead you to applying what you feel God is showing you so you can take steps for improvement or strengthening, and then finding you can harness more of the potential which God has already given you through His Image and also through His Spirit.

So, we can talk further, but at this point, what do you feel you need to do to make things "better"? Do you have any ideas? I'd like to hear yours before you hear mine.

 

[aiki]

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

Been there, done that. It sucked.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me.

Not sure what "bombarded spiritually" means...Can you explain a bit?

And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

Cravings? For what, exactly? Chocolate? Pizza? Video Games? Booze? Drugs? inappropriate content?

Are you sure God is not helping you? What do you think that help should look like?

Do you know what God's primary aims are in making you? It is easier to understand why God is allowing things in your life when you know why He made you.

Life got bitterly hard for Jesus but he was doing everything right. Paul the apostle got run through the mill pretty bad, too, yet he was living a godly life. My point is that walking with God is not always going to be "pleasant."

"Moving on from God" won't stop hard times from coming, it will just mean you will endure them alone and without His comfort and strength.

I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

When a person is "born-again," when they are saved, the Spirit of God comes to live within that person. And when He does, He brings to that person in Himself all that they need to be who God wants them to be. It is our habit, though, not to depend upon God for what we need but to work from our own strength to do for God what He wants us to do. Relying on God requires that you recognize when you are working from your own strength and not from God's.

Relying on the Spirit requires surrender, too. So long as you live according to your will and your way, you are not living in surrender to the Spirit; and so long as you are not living in surrender to the Spirit, you cannot benefit from his transforming and enabling power; and so long as you are not benefiting from the Spirit's power, you cannot enjoy the abundant life God offers to you.

As you go through each day, crossroads of choice face you. When they do, consciously, explicitly submit to God, choose His will and way, not your own, and then, trusting the Spirit to enable you, take what steps you can in the direction of God's will.

 

[ToBeLoved]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

Our pastor just talked about 1 Peter chapter 3 this weekend and how our trials or sad times are the times when we realistically as human beings reach out to God most, because when things are going well we are usually happy, content and enjoying the ride.

In 1 Peter chapter 3, Peter talks about how picking up our cross and following Christ is saying to us that things aren't always going to be easy and that picking up our cross, is an alegory to Jesus and suffering on the cross.

Don't loose heart and read the chapter I mentioned.

Check out in the Bible that Peter says that we should be happy suffering with Christ because in this suffering (I know it sounds crazy, but think about it) that we realize just what Christ did for us. It can actually make us much closer to Christ and understand the Bible more on a spiritual level. With Christ, we can stop swaying like a tree with every bad thing in our lives, but know that our suffering here is very small in relation to eternity.

 

[Goatee]

As you travel on your spiritual journey with God, the pathetic devil will try all ways to push you off of that path. I should know as the last 3 years have been a complete nightmare!

Whatever happens, dont give up on God!

 

[Gabe7587]

Through out the day I questioned whether the Lord is still there for me. As I doing my loads of homework, I found something cool. I was doing my Bible homework, and as I picked up my Bible a spiritual retreat booklet from last fall fell out. I looked inside it, and found the only notes I took the entire weekend. This is what I found.

“•God is Jealous for us, since his love for us is huge.


•God is always showing His love.


•God is very active.


Correlation between Abraham and Isaac-The Father and Jesus


Mount Moriah=Calvary(Golgotha)


Isaac carrying a bundle of sticks= Jesus carrying the cross.


= God sacrifices His Son


•God wants your heart.”

 

[Gabe7587]

Not sure what "bombarded spiritually" means...Can you explain a bit?

Maybe better words would be: overwhelmed, tired.

Cravings? For what, exactly? Chocolate? Pizza? Video Games? Booze? Drugs? inappropriate content?

To be honest p*rn is hardest for me, it may be because of the age I’m at (17). I don’t fall into watching it frequently, but the cravings are still there.

Are you sure God is not helping you? What do you think that help should look like?

The way my mind is set up is this, it could be from my anxiety.

Do good= life’s totally good
Do bad= life’s totally bad

Taking things to extremes, is bad thing in my mindset, but again it’s perhaps my OCD.

Do you know what God's primary aims are in making you? It is easier to understand why God is allowing things in your life when you know why He made you.

Well, first off, when I was born, an angel told my mom to name me Gabriel (calling me Gift from God) since I barely lived.

for my adult life, I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do. But I’m pretty sure God has called me to a form of ministry. I have gone back and forth thinking of theology, or Christian counseling.. but the one I think I would find the most interesting is Christian Philosophy teacher/ Bible teacher.

Thank you for taking time to help me.

 

[Caleb22]

First of all, instead of relying on what other people are telling you, read the Bible and find out for yourself. People won't always tell you the right things, though it's true you should love the Lord with all your mind, heart, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22:34-40). And it's true we should trust the Lord (Matt 14:22-33).

I've gone through things like this recently, and trust me... it was hard for me too. But I found the more we pray and read the Bible and trust in him. The closer we get and the better we feel. A section of the Bible that worked for me was Lamentations chapters 1-3. Sometimes I have an urge to sin or think about my pasts or the things I fear. But knowing that God is helping me fight, helps me fight it. Hope things go well! I'll be praying for you!

The way my mind is set up is this, it could be from my anxiety.

Do good= life’s totally good
Do bad= life’s totally bad

Taking things to extremes, is bad thing in my mindset, but again it’s perhaps my OCD

Now what you said there ^^^ is things that I went through. Pray to God to give you the strength to ignore what ever anxiety is bringing you down. The more you think about it and the more emphasis you have on it. Is only making you worse. A year has gone by and I couldn't get it through my thick skull to realize that I can't do it on my own. Look to God and he will deliver.
Proverbs 3:5-6
One cool thing that I learned to help me remember that he is with me, is to think that at all times God is with me and he is rooting for me at all times. He still is cheering for me no matter what I do.

 

[planet_joe]

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

What it means is that you do these things when you're in a better place. Right now, if it's too much of a burden for you, don't. Your salvation doesn't depend on you doing all this stuff anyway.

 

[BoLeVi]

Hello, and my name is Gabe, I haven’t been on Christian Forums for about a year, and I’m going through something that feels quite weird to me.

First off, an introduction: I’m 17 years old, who suffers from anxiety (officially diagnosed with OCD), and doesn’t have close friends. I’ve been a Christian for about 2 years.

The problem is this, and I’m going to have a hard time explaining it. I feel bombarded spiritually if that makes any sense...It feels like God is watching me, but not helping me. And since it feels like God is not helping me, I have cravings to go back to my old way. I don’t find my Christian life to be pleasant. Everyday is torture socially, mentally, and spiritually, so I just feel like giving up and moving on.

I hear many things about what Christians should do, love others always, pray for others always, love God always, but I find it very hard to do all these things throughout the day without getting overwhelmed. I know we must rely on the Spirit, but what does that even mean?

I just feel lost, and horrible.
Prayers are welcome.

It is said to love your Lord with all your strenght, so go on and love Him you will need to do more than just rely on Spirit. You need to fast and pray so the spirit will enter you.