So I've joined and met a lot of friendly helpful people, and I am being honest when I say that I feel a difference since all of you have told me you're praying for me. Thank you.
I'm back to keep this short and to the point because a few people have asked or been curious about whether or not my husband cheats on me, abuses me, etc. While I can't be sure about the cheating, but I don't think so, I will say he is NOT physically abusive. That's I'm not afraid of. HOWEVER...
One night recently I was optimistic, feeling good, positive, I'm going to make this time count. I came home one evening when my husband was not home. Our neighbor, a girl who is about my age, and who my husband describes as, "The cutie next door." (I don't mind that though - she is nothing like me, I'm Asian with black hair and olive skin. She's blonde, blue-eyed, and pale skin. She IS beautiful girl though.)
SO, she came to me and said, "I just want to speak with you woman to woman. I'm uncomfortable with something and I'm not sure if you are aware of it." To make a long story short, she told me that she keeps seeing us making love.
We live in a row of connected townhomes and so when either our neighbor (that girl) or we are putting our key in the door and/or leaving the apartment, we can see right into each other's kitchen windows. Neither of us have good curtains so especially at night when the lights are on, you can see inside. I just focus on the floor when I leave and arrive so as not to see in her apartment.
I apologized to her and told her we will not go near that window again. It's really my husband that always makes us end up there! Yes, in the kitchen
Or start there as he will approach me when I'm cooking.
So the night I found him on his computer with inappropriate content, I decided to search the computer the next day. What I found was horrifying, about him, AND MY NEIGHBOR who complained!
It appears that he has been setting up an old cellphone of his in the kitchen window and allows it to sit there for hours recording. At the time I was not sure how he was timing it, but I would hear him come over to me while I'm cooking and start to start getting intimate. Almost every time it would be the WORST moment for someone to see us
that girl came up the stairs, looking right into our window! Now for the even more disturbing part - especially since she complained to me! For many of those videos, she took extra extra time "looking for" her key to get in. She would peek through the corner of her eye, and in one of the videos, blatantly stood there for (yes I timed it) 4:33. That's four minutes and thirty-three seconds, WATCHING US! And she was not watching in disgust, I know the look of disgust. She was flustered, playing with her hair, nervous, fidgeting, etc. And when I heard us finish what we were doing, she literally ran into her apartment.
SO, when I told him about what happened, he told me he had not even seen nor known that the girl saw us making love. He said he tapes the outside around 6PM and 7PM because he heard that there were burglaries in the area during those times. (That's what time she comes home.) His exact words were, "I never even look the videos. I just do it in case something happens I'll have it in archives." I am finding it hard to believe. Especially since he has done MANY MANY MANY other things in the past that point to him being an exhibitionist, AND exhibiting ME as well
I am also VERY confused about why the girl made a complaint to me! The last video that HE had on his phone was from a few days before she approached me with the complaint, and she stood there holding the key in her hand, pretending to be opening her door, FOR 1:22. A minute and 22 seconds trying to turn the key in her door. A friend of mine who I confided in told me that maybe he looked at her during it, and she knew he saw her, and so had to cover up and complain or something. I don't know. But there is always something like this and so I don't believe him that he never looked at the videos. I think he knows what time she gets home (since her complaint to me, I've learned that she's very habitual and comes home almost the same MINUTE every night) and he's been setting up so that the "scene" he wants her to see, is happening when she comes up those steps.
I also sometimes think that I am crazy for dreaming this up! Maybe he's really looking for a burglar? UGH! Has anyone had experience like this?
I'm so sorry for the long post but this is something that is really bothering me. I don't know if he did it on purpose and if so, WHAT could he possibly get from that?!?!? I've seen him interact with this girl and he doesn't talk or flirt, they both say, "Hi how are you?" and continue walking!?!?!
Thank you in advance for any help you all can offer.
