Husband no longer believes in God, Should I divorce him?

[Kamryn]

Hello all! This is my first post as I have been searching for advice from people who do not personally know me, so that I can see things from a different perspective.Please help me as I have a lot of inner turmoil going on and my spirit is very chaotic right now.

BACKSTORY: I have grown up Christian and in the church all of my life so has my husband. We met in high school and he has been the only person I ever dated. Ever. I began to have feelings of doubt. I wasn’t sure if I was still in love with him and I wanted to explore on my own, and figure out who I was as a person individually because I was in college at the time. I pushed it aside because even though I wasn’t happy, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because I knew how much he loved and cared for me.We had been together since we were 15 and at this point I was 21. I ended up pregnant and felt that I had no choice but to be with him then because I wanted our daughter to grow up the way I did, in a 2 parent home. Shortly after, he proposed and I said yes as to not disappoint our families and him. During our engagement period I cried, a lot . I wasn’t happy and wanted out of the engagement. I kept telling myself this is what God wants for me and to suck it up. We got married, and I have tried to suck it up because my husband is an awesome husband and an amazing father.

Now:About 2 months after getting married, my husband tells me that he no longer believes in Jesus and The Bible, and is really questioning Christianity and God as a whole. We are trying to work through this but he is very condescending when I try to offer solutions to help us. He says he is confused and lost, and doesn’t know what is right and what is wrong.

I know this sounds cruel, but I want to use this as an excuse to divorce and no longer be married to him. I’ve wanted to leave since I was 21, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and he was all I’ve ever known, I have become comfortable with him.I was afraid of something new and I was afraid of change. I believe I grew up so early and did not get a chance to truly live my life as a young adult. Does this make me a selfish & unchristian person? Do I stay and accept my decisions ? I am 25 by the way.

 

[JAYPT]

I know this sounds cruel, but I want to use this as an excuse to divorce and no longer be married to him.

Sounds like you have made up your mind.

 

[timothyu]

Did not Jesus say save for adultery to stick it out? If there is no abuse which might warrant separation, perhaps your husband just needs time to let you mature. Hope you find the answer you want to hear.

 

[Basil the Great]

Welcome to the forums, Kamryn. Personally, I do not think it a valid reason for divorce, just because a spouse might lose his faith in Jesus or even in God, as long as he strongly believes in loving others, showing mercy to those in need and being faithful to his marriage vows to you. No doubt marriages have been successful between people of different faiths or even if one has no faith, though such can be difficult for sure. Let us see what others have to say.

May God guide you, now and always.

 

[eleos1954]

Hello all! This is my first post as I have been searching for advice from people who do not personally know me, so that I can see things from a different perspective.Please help me as I have a lot of inner turmoil going on and my spirit is very chaotic right now.

BACKSTORY: I have grown up Christian and in the church all of my life so has my husband. We met in high school and he has been the only person I ever dated. Ever. I began to have feelings of doubt. I wasn’t sure if I was still in love with him and I wanted to explore on my own, and figure out who I was as a person individually because I was in college at the time. I pushed it aside because even though I wasn’t happy, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because I knew how much he loved and cared for me.We had been together since we were 15 and at this point I was 21. I ended up pregnant and felt that I had no choice but to be with him then because I wanted our daughter to grow up the way I did, in a 2 parent home. Shortly after, he proposed and I said yes as to not disappoint our families and him. During our engagement period I cried, a lot . I wasn’t happy and wanted out of the engagement. I kept telling myself this is what God wants for me and to suck it up. We got married, and I have tried to suck it up because my husband is an awesome husband and an amazing father.

Now:About 2 months after getting married, my husband tells me that he no longer believes in Jesus and The Bible, and is really questioning Christianity and God as a whole. We are trying to work through this but he is very condescending when I try to offer solutions to help us. He says he is confused and lost, and doesn’t know what is right and what is wrong.

I know this sounds cruel, but I want to use this as an excuse to divorce and no longer be married to him. I’ve wanted to leave since I was 21, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and he was all I’ve ever known, I have become comfortable with him.I was afraid of something new and I was afraid of change. I believe I grew up so early and did not get a chance to truly live my life as a young adult. Does this make me a selfish & unchristian person? Do I stay and accept my decisions ? I am 25 by the way.

well, if you want and intend to live your life for the Lord, then be honest with him and tell him that is what you are going to do and also that you will raise your children in the faith and does he see any or have any problems with that?

In the meantime walk your walk with the Lord and be in prayer about it.

He may return to the Lord ... he may not .... but you should talk to him about your concerns (in kindness) and give him time to think about it. Why did he decide to no longer believe? Says he's confused ... what all is he confused about?

Need a real kind heart to heart talk(s). Honesty is always the best policy.

May the Lord bless you and him with patience and kindness with one another until the resolve has been made clear. Amen

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

Hello all! This is my first post as I have been searching for advice from people who do not personally know me, so that I can see things from a different perspective.Please help me as I have a lot of inner turmoil going on and my spirit is very chaotic right now.

BACKSTORY: I have grown up Christian and in the church all of my life so has my husband. We met in high school and he has been the only person I ever dated. Ever. I began to have feelings of doubt. I wasn’t sure if I was still in love with him and I wanted to explore on my own, and figure out who I was as a person individually because I was in college at the time. I pushed it aside because even though I wasn’t happy, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because I knew how much he loved and cared for me.We had been together since we were 15 and at this point I was 21. I ended up pregnant and felt that I had no choice but to be with him then because I wanted our daughter to grow up the way I did, in a 2 parent home. Shortly after, he proposed and I said yes as to not disappoint our families and him. During our engagement period I cried, a lot . I wasn’t happy and wanted out of the engagement. I kept telling myself this is what God wants for me and to suck it up. We got married, and I have tried to suck it up because my husband is an awesome husband and an amazing father.

Now:About 2 months after getting married, my husband tells me that he no longer believes in Jesus and The Bible, and is really questioning Christianity and God as a whole. We are trying to work through this but he is very condescending when I try to offer solutions to help us. He says he is confused and lost, and doesn’t know what is right and what is wrong.

I know this sounds cruel, but I want to use this as an excuse to divorce and no longer be married to him. I’ve wanted to leave since I was 21, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and he was all I’ve ever known, I have become comfortable with him.I was afraid of something new and I was afraid of change. I believe I grew up so early and did not get a chance to truly live my life as a young adult. Does this make me a selfish & unchristian person? Do I stay and accept my decisions ? I am 25 by the way.

Having an unbelieving spouse is not a biblical grounds for divorce. Maybe you can drive him to cheating on you, that would give you grounds, but then it is equally sinful to drive a spouse to the point they become desperate to have needs filled. A series of decisions have led you to where you are, but I will refrain from characterizing them as wise or unwise. I recommend turning your marriage over to God, seeking Him and pour your heart out to Him. Also, I do not know but it sounds like you need to have some serious relationship discussion with your husband, even if it breaks his heart, he deserves the truth, but before you do that, think long and hard about how what is going through your mind can and will effect your daughter. I think a BIG part the problem are thoughts of "missing out" on other "possibilities" because as you've said, he's the only guy you're known. Sounds like the enemy whispering (i hear the same garbage whispered to my heart), but not as your enemy, as a wanna be lover, and it is flirting with disaster. But what do i know, this is just talk on an internet forum huh?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

yikes..

 

[devin553344]

Hello all! This is my first post as I have been searching for advice from people who do not personally know me, so that I can see things from a different perspective.Please help me as I have a lot of inner turmoil going on and my spirit is very chaotic right now.

BACKSTORY: I have grown up Christian and in the church all of my life so has my husband. We met in high school and he has been the only person I ever dated. Ever. I began to have feelings of doubt. I wasn’t sure if I was still in love with him and I wanted to explore on my own, and figure out who I was as a person individually because I was in college at the time. I pushed it aside because even though I wasn’t happy, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because I knew how much he loved and cared for me.We had been together since we were 15 and at this point I was 21. I ended up pregnant and felt that I had no choice but to be with him then because I wanted our daughter to grow up the way I did, in a 2 parent home. Shortly after, he proposed and I said yes as to not disappoint our families and him. During our engagement period I cried, a lot . I wasn’t happy and wanted out of the engagement. I kept telling myself this is what God wants for me and to suck it up. We got married, and I have tried to suck it up because my husband is an awesome husband and an amazing father.

Now:About 2 months after getting married, my husband tells me that he no longer believes in Jesus and The Bible, and is really questioning Christianity and God as a whole. We are trying to work through this but he is very condescending when I try to offer solutions to help us. He says he is confused and lost, and doesn’t know what is right and what is wrong.

I know this sounds cruel, but I want to use this as an excuse to divorce and no longer be married to him. I’ve wanted to leave since I was 21, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and he was all I’ve ever known, I have become comfortable with him.I was afraid of something new and I was afraid of change. I believe I grew up so early and did not get a chance to truly live my life as a young adult. Does this make me a selfish & unchristian person? Do I stay and accept my decisions ? I am 25 by the way.

Sometimes you must lose something to know what you lost. And wisdom understands that. You say your husband is good and also a good father, then why do you want to divorce? But the bibles teaching on that is found here: 1 Corinthians 7:13-15

 

[SoldierOfTheKing]

I believe I grew up so early and did not get a chance to truly live my life as a young adult.

Do you think truly living your life as a young adult necessarily means being single? It's not the joyride you may think it is.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I feel sorry for your husband. '

A believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving spouse..

the Bible itself tells you to stay, in order to win him through being a living and loving example of Christ to him in his life.

As for your feelings, they are feelings. They might be valid feelings, but they aren't cause for divorce.

I'd advise you to do whatever it took to make your marriage work. So long as you have one foot (and your entire heart) out the door your marriage will never be good.

Stop being out the door and be present in your marriage

 

[childeye 2]

Hello all! This is my first post as I have been searching for advice from people who do not personally know me, so that I can see things from a different perspective.Please help me as I have a lot of inner turmoil going on and my spirit is very chaotic right now.

BACKSTORY: I have grown up Christian and in the church all of my life so has my husband. We met in high school and he has been the only person I ever dated. Ever. I began to have feelings of doubt. I wasn’t sure if I was still in love with him and I wanted to explore on my own, and figure out who I was as a person individually because I was in college at the time. I pushed it aside because even though I wasn’t happy, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings because I knew how much he loved and cared for me.We had been together since we were 15 and at this point I was 21. I ended up pregnant and felt that I had no choice but to be with him then because I wanted our daughter to grow up the way I did, in a 2 parent home. Shortly after, he proposed and I said yes as to not disappoint our families and him. During our engagement period I cried, a lot . I wasn’t happy and wanted out of the engagement. I kept telling myself this is what God wants for me and to suck it up. We got married, and I have tried to suck it up because my husband is an awesome husband and an amazing father.

Now:About 2 months after getting married, my husband tells me that he no longer believes in Jesus and The Bible, and is really questioning Christianity and God as a whole. We are trying to work through this but he is very condescending when I try to offer solutions to help us. He says he is confused and lost, and doesn’t know what is right and what is wrong.

I know this sounds cruel, but I want to use this as an excuse to divorce and no longer be married to him. I’ve wanted to leave since I was 21, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and he was all I’ve ever known, I have become comfortable with him.I was afraid of something new and I was afraid of change. I believe I grew up so early and did not get a chance to truly live my life as a young adult. Does this make me a selfish & unchristian person? Do I stay and accept my decisions ? I am 25 by the way.

1) It is through our vain imaginations wherein we can find ourselves entertaining romantic thoughts of how the grass is greener somewhere else. The reality, is that Love is not a tip-toe through the tulips, but rather a cross wherein we suffer and sacrifice of ourselves for others. It helps to say to one's self that we marry for better or for worse so that we do not become vain.

2) First off, the word 'believe' has two different meanings. One is 'believes in' as in 'existing'. The other meaning is to 'believe in' as in 'being trustworthy'. For example, Christ says that "whoever believes in him has eternal Life". When he says this He is not referring to whether he exists or not. He is saying that those who 'trust in him' have eternal life.

Therefore

Your husband is probably defining the term God incorrectly. ​

The term God means the source of the power that created all things. It is not possible to believe that God does not exist under such a definition. The only question is whether God is trustworthy.

The scripture puts forth an image of God presented by Satan in the garden of Eden which precipitated the fall of mankind. This image is one that portrays God as a lying self serving tyrant who would sacrifice others to preserve Himself. The second image of God presented in scripture is the Christ, who portrays God as a loving servant unto all, who would willingly sacrifice his own life so as to preserve others.

So in summation, we all will decide whether God is a self serving tyrant or a self sacrificing servant.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Having an unbelieving spouse is not a biblical grounds for divorce. Maybe you can drive him to cheating on you, that would give you grounds, but then it is equally sinful to drive a spouse to the point they become desperate to have needs filled. A series of decisions have led you to where you are, but I will refrain from characterizing them as wise or unwise. I recommend turning your marriage over to God, seeking Him and pour your heart out to Him. Also, I do not know but it sounds like you need to have some serious relationship discussion with your husband, even if it breaks his heart, he deserves the truth, but before you do that, think long and hard about how what is going through your mind can and will effect your daughter. I think a BIG part the problem are thoughts of "missing out" on other "possibilities" because as you've said, he's the only guy you're known. Sounds like the enemy whispering (i hear the same garbage whispered to my heart), but not as your enemy, as a wanna be lover, and it is flirting with disaster.

I agree with this.

 

[bèlla]

There are moments in life when all we hold sacred is set aflame and under attack. At these times we can bemoan our fate, seek an exit, or don our armor and make war.

Not on my watch is the rallying cry which moves beyond emotion, right and wrong, and every thing that would seek to hinder your steps. It is a testament of courage, perseverance, and a willingness to fight for everything God has given you.

And until you see the larger picture and everything that's under threat you'll remain as you are. The outcome you're imaging may not come to pass and the fallout will be greater than you expect. No one can battle for your husband's soul the way you can. You are one flesh.

Gather your forces. Flank yourself with prayer warriors and put him on every prayer list you can and keep him there. Do the same with your marriage and renew them each month. You need others alongside to help you storm heaven's gates.

Fast and be relentless in your efforts. Hell won't back down and nor should you. He isn't the lone one they're after. They come for households not individuals.

Don't despair or focus on what could be and didn't happen. You have been brought to this moment for such a time as this. How will you respond?

Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.

Remember who you are. God bless.

 

[Kamryn]

Do you think truly living your life as a young adult necessarily means being single? It's not the joyride you may think it is.

my mother and father have been married over 30 years, and she tells me she regrets not living her life before getting married. (She got married and became a mother right after high school) She has always been a housewife and never worked and has always depended on my father. And she never wanted that for me. She always would tell me to go to college, have fun, get a good job and be an independent woman before settling down and having children. I clearly didn't listen to her until I got into college, but it was too late as that was when I found out I was pregnant.

Of course, I want what is best for my daughter but Maybe it's not even that I want to be committed to other people, I just want to have independence and control over my life. I want to be happy and experience life like a 25 year old. I don't want regrets like my mother.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Marriage is a gift, and a cross. As a Christian, we are called to love. Not necessarily be free, happy, unincumbered, or do everything our way. It is tough. But possible. Your husband needs you.

 

[Kamryn]

You need an open marriage so you can both get some strange, after this you will be able to do the godly thing and accuse this heroic man of being unfaithful. Don't lie to yourself, you want to enjoy the company of other men and then blame it on hubby, like the demon NIKE says, Just do it.

You're correct. I have thought about other men, but that makes me an awful and unchristian like woman and it makes me feel disgusting to have thoughts like this. I do not want to hurt my husband.

 

[Kamryn]

Marriage is a gift, and a cross. As a Christian, we are called to love. Not necessarily be free, happy, unincumbered, or do everything our way. It is tough. But possible. Your husband needs you.

If things do not change, It just seems so hard to be unhappy for the rest of my life. Is that all my life will be? Unhappiness to make sure my husband is happy?

 

[Lost4words]

my mother and father have been married over 30 years, and she tells me she regrets not living her life before getting married. (She got married and became a mother right after high school) She has always been a housewife and never worked and has always depended on my father. And she never wanted that for me. She always would tell me to go to college, have fun, get a good job and be an independent woman before settling down and having children. I clearly didn't listen to her until I got into college, but it was too late as that was when I found out I was pregnant.

Of course, I want what is best for my daughter but Maybe it's not even that I want to be committed to other people, I just want to have independence and control over my life. I want to be happy and experience life like a 25 year old. I don't want regrets like my mother.

Sorry but that comes across as very selfish. You married the guy. Your reasons are not 'real' reasons for divorce.

 

[Lost4words]

If things do not change, It just seems so hard to be unhappy for the rest of my life. Is that all my life will be? Unhappiness to make sure my husband is happy?

In what ways does he make you unhappy?

 

[timothyu]

I just want to have independence and control over my life.

That is what Eve did in the Garden. She learned her lesson the hard way and God made it clear she couldn't come back.