Satine
Life Troubleshooter
To the OP:
I'm sorry if this ground has been covered before, but I haven't read the whole thread, only the first post.
Either your husband is truly not interested in the social interaction of the relationship, in which case you are having a marriage on your own (and that doesn't sound like much fun at all), or he specifically married you because you keep forgiving.
Let me explain it this way: there is a psychological game some people play in marriages, and it is called Look How Hard I've Tried. The trick is to look like you're trying but not actually put out any effort. One such trick is to do a little bit of 'the right thing' when you're asked to, and then stop the moment you've done a little bit of it. Another tactic is to have a partner who forgives a lot.
If you want to break this cycle you may need professional help. A marriage guidance therapist would (or I would hope she would, in any case) recognise this game and intercept it. My guess is she would ask your husband what it is he does to contribute towards the relationship and when it came out that he's not being a help, would ask him to do so. If he failed to after that, she'd send him away and speak with you only.
In this situation you would learn more about how to manage such a relationship and may outgrow him emotionally. If you do that, he'd have no partner to fill in all the gaps for him the way you have been. And if he sees that happening, if he wants this marriage at all he'll seek help at that point.
But I am not a qualified therapist, I'm only in-training, so it's just a guess of what would happen. Either way, I think it might be a good idea for you two to visit professional marriage guidance to help with this issue, because you have done everything you can think of. It needs another mind for new ideas, now.
Good luck.
I'm sorry if this ground has been covered before, but I haven't read the whole thread, only the first post.
Either your husband is truly not interested in the social interaction of the relationship, in which case you are having a marriage on your own (and that doesn't sound like much fun at all), or he specifically married you because you keep forgiving.
Let me explain it this way: there is a psychological game some people play in marriages, and it is called Look How Hard I've Tried. The trick is to look like you're trying but not actually put out any effort. One such trick is to do a little bit of 'the right thing' when you're asked to, and then stop the moment you've done a little bit of it. Another tactic is to have a partner who forgives a lot.
If you want to break this cycle you may need professional help. A marriage guidance therapist would (or I would hope she would, in any case) recognise this game and intercept it. My guess is she would ask your husband what it is he does to contribute towards the relationship and when it came out that he's not being a help, would ask him to do so. If he failed to after that, she'd send him away and speak with you only.
In this situation you would learn more about how to manage such a relationship and may outgrow him emotionally. If you do that, he'd have no partner to fill in all the gaps for him the way you have been. And if he sees that happening, if he wants this marriage at all he'll seek help at that point.
But I am not a qualified therapist, I'm only in-training, so it's just a guess of what would happen. Either way, I think it might be a good idea for you two to visit professional marriage guidance to help with this issue, because you have done everything you can think of. It needs another mind for new ideas, now.
Good luck.
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