Husband Admitted to kissing another woman. What to do?

[Yitzchak]

Hi friends. Thank you for your advice and prayers. My husband and I are still going through difficult times and yes the woman he ( kissed )still works at the place my hubby works at.... and I'm really upset by it. Even though I am praying and fasting it still seems like things have not improved much. At the moment my husband has been coming home quite late from work. When I ask him if he has been by himself he states that he is. But I am still a bit suspicious of this, He says he needs space to try to figure out what to do about our marriage. "IMO "there is only one thing to do! that is to honor your marriage vows. At the moment I feel so isolated, he is aware that i don't enjoy being alone all day and night. Last night I thought I might die of lonliness. I am still hoping and praying that he comes to his senses soon and see that God blessed him with me and our adult son-- and that is where he belongs. I an wondering if he might be suffering from some sort of mid-life crisis? he is in his late 40's. Does anyone have any insight on this? Please continue to pray freinds. Your prayers mean a lot. God bless.

I am sure that your prayer and fasting are working. My wife and I have often decided upon a season of fasting and prayer for a given situation and watched the situation change for the worse. It seems to be a part of the process many times. I am not sure why. But when it gets worse, it means God is working and it will be brought to a clear decision point. By the end, your husband will either repent fully or he will leave you.

I am praying for you because I think a lot more will be exposed before it is all over.

As for the whole midlife crisis thing. There are critical times in a person's life when there are major transitions. For the same reason that the teen years are so rocky, so are other transitions oftentimes. Problems seem to surface at these key times. I would not focus too much on the details of it. Just that major changes have the potential for incredible groweth. They also make a person very vunerable to huge mistakes.

 

[MaidforHim]

I feel for you ... my wife told me that even though her goal is for us to stay married and have a good romantic life, she says right now she doesn't know what she wants. She knows that the way she's feeling isn't the best thing for us, but she just can't get past it.

Yes she can get past it, Jesus Christ can get her through it. I will pray for both of you too.

Dear Father in Heaven,
Please be with those here that are struggling with a spouse who is being distracted, tempted or burdened in some way. I ask Lord that you lift these burdens from their lives and bring them peace and joy. We know that you brought these couples together for a reason and that you have the power to cleanse, heal and restore their hearts and marriages. We accept your will and ask for your guidance. In Jesus name, Amen.

 

[jak]

Maybe you should also tell him a little sternly that by continuing to see this woman, he is doing her great harm, too. It was irresponsible and cruel of him to get close to her when he could not have forgotten that he was married and he would be plunging her into a three-cornered affair, which could only traumatise her further. If he does not want to hurt her, the best thing he can do is get away from her as soon as possible, before she gets more and more emotionally attached to him.

 

[MilkandHoney]

Jak I did tell him those very words, As far as I know this woman is trying to change her life for the better so... getting involved with a married man is not a good thing.

Today friends, things seem to be getting much much worse! my husband even brought up the "D" word I do not know how he could do that, we both know divorce is not biblical. I don't believe in my heart that he meant it. I just think he is being tormented right now and being led away by the enemy, And I asolutely refuse to ever agree to a divorce. Please continue praying my friends.


And thank you for all of your advice God Bless today.

 

[tp65]

 

[BigNorsk]

MilkandHoney,

Why does it sound like you are going through this all by yourself? This is not a time to fell embarrassed or prideful, you need to get others to rally around and help your husband make the right choices.

I don't know who would be men that your husband would respect, but if possible, they should be recruited to have a talk with him. Could be a pastor, a father, a brother or a friend, that often isn't too important, but I would hope you would know at least one godly man whom your husband respects. You should lay out to him what is going on and ask his help in bringing your husband to his senses.

See the problem is that your husband is still worrying about the other woman as much as or maybe even more than you. And he needs some guy or guys he respects to go to him and lay out that he is damaging you, himself and the other woman and he needs to wake up.

I would hope your church has a good pastor and elders who should be experienced in such matters. They would be a good place to start.

Marv

 

[Yitzchak]

Hang in there. Your praying is working. But be ready because I still believe there is more that will be exposed before the healing process will begin. It is a part of the process that has to happen. Remember love rejoiceth in the truth. I feel in my spirit that your husband has a few shockers to share before it is over.

 

[tp65]

MilkandHoney, I believe BigNorsk is right. I am learning from the men on "talk to men recovering from inappropriate content addiction" that sometimes they just need men to talk to them and hold them accountable. It is different from women trying to do it. Also, at the times we need friends most we tend to not turn to them. Afraid they will think badly of us or our spouse. Try to find someone to confide in.
Blessings, T

 

[MaidforHim]

MilkandHoney, I believe BigNorsk is right. I am learning from the men on "talk to men recovering from inappropriate content addiction" that sometimes they just need men to talk to them and hold them accountable. It is different from women trying to do it. Also, at the times we need friends most we tend to not turn to them. Afraid they will think badly of us or our spouse. Try to find someone to confide in.
Blessings, T

Very true... I agree...

and sometimes we avoid turning to friends because they might tell us what we don't want to hear I bet that's where your husband is at right now. A good strong Christian male friend to intercede is a wonderful idea

 

[MilkandHoney]

Thank you so much everyone for your continued prayers, they mean so much and I do not think I could get through this without them.

Just moments ago, I found out that my husband had been out all night gambling our paycheck away and now he feels even more miserable. (I did mention previously that he has a gambling problem as well)I do not know how much more of this I can endure, please pray that I find strength.

Please pray for him... and me. And also please pray that we can somehow pay our rent. Thank you so much. God Bless You.

 

[jak]

MilkandHoney, I believe BigNorsk is right. I am learning from the men on "talk to men recovering from inappropriate content addiction" that sometimes they just need men to talk to them and hold them accountable. It is different from women trying to do it. Also, at the times we need friends most we tend to not turn to them. Afraid they will think badly of us or our spouse. Try to find someone to confide in.
Blessings, T

Maybe you guys are right that MandH's husband would respond to a man talking to him, but this being held accountable by other men is subject matter for another thread, really. As Christians we are all mutually accountible, aren't we? He should listen to his woman, his wife, first of all. Anyway, let me not digress. It may help, so yes, you should pray for the right man to help him both with his gambling and his relationship problem.
And yes, I am praying for your financial problems, too. God will help, my dear.

 

[Canuk]

M&H - I really hope that this doesn't come accross as being too negative, but the gambling problem, the other woman, etc, make me think that there are some deeper issues that your husband is struggling with. The good news is that they can be worked through, and you guys can come out stronger because of it.

 

[MaidforHim]

Maybe you guys are right that MandH's husband would respond to a man talking to him, but this being held accountable by other men is subject matter for another thread, really. As Christians we are all mutually accountible, aren't we? He should listen to his woman, his wife, first of all. Anyway, let me not digress. It may help, so yes, you should pray for the right man to help him both with his gambling and his relationship problem.
And yes, I am praying for your financial problems, too. God will help, my dear.

It's a Biblical concept. Can't remember the verse off the top of my head.

 

[MilkandHoney]

Friends my husband Once agin came home late, and I asked him why he keeps doing this... his reply was is because he doesn't want to be home. Believe me this is not good for my self esteem but... he says it isn't "me" it's him but this statement still hurts me.

After he told me this... I said for him to just pack his things and move- cause I cannot take take the strain of this any longer and I thought some time apart may do us both some good. Do you believe I did the right thing?

Also I have an illness and any more stress could trigger a flare. Has anyone here ever been -OR- known anyone that was abandoned by their spouse? I do not work and would need some financial help. Does anyone have any good Godly advice? Again I thank you all for your support and loving prayers. God bless.

 

[joyful11]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like he's not willing to do what it takes to save your marriage right now. I do think you need to set some boundaries. Did he leave? I know you must be terrified since you don't work. I'd feel the same way. He's still working with that woman right? I need to read back a little. Praying.

 

[tp65]

MilkandHoney, I am so sorry, this is such a shame. First I would talk again to his boss and let him know what is happening. Just bc dh moved out doesn't mean anyone knows. Second, I think you better see a lawyer...just to protect the assets the two of you have and to make sure he supports you during the separation (temporary, I pray). Prayers for you both. T

 

[MilkandHoney]

Friends, I thought I would let you know that my husbands enployer is going to have a talk with him, and try to get in his head - so to speak.

Please pray that all goes well, and my hubby finally see the light and realizes that our marriage is the most important thing in the world. God bless each of you today, and Thank you for advice, it Truly has helped me.

 

[tp65]

I am glad to hear that and am praying.
T

 

[chevguy]

My prayers are with you

 

[Yitzchak]

God will take care of you and meet all your needs. Have faith. God is hearing your prayers and although it seems out of control , God does have this situation in total control.