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How to tell an annoying Person to go away

Discussion in 'General Struggles' started by Andrew98, Oct 18, 2019.

  1. Andrew98

    Andrew98 VR46

    369
    +162
    Poland
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    This guy joined my class at school and was put into a group with me and one other person.
    I quickly realised I don’t like this person at all and I think they’re creepy and weird. It’s pretty obvious that they are gay as well.
    Well after just being polite to this person they won’t leave me alone. They sit near me in class and now even asking me out for lunch with them. I feel very uncomfortable around them as I’m not gay and they smile at me in a weird way and now they’re asking to go out for meals when I BARELY KNOW THEM.
    In no scenario do I want to be with them, hang out with them and certainly not go to eat with them. They are weird and creepy and I feel extremely awkward in their presence.

    Please help me get out of this situation.
     
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  2. ChristianForCats

    ChristianForCats God Seeker

    +1,192
    United States
    Protestant
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    US-Democrat
    Does the teacher know about this?
     
  3. Andrew98

    Andrew98 VR46

    369
    +162
    Poland
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    No. It’s college not school sorry.
     
  4. Brightmoon

    Brightmoon Apes and humans are all in family Hominidae.

    +3,251
    United States
    Episcopalian
    Single
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    Women deal with this creepy behavior all the time . Some guy we’re not interested in nor attracted to decides to impose. It is a little upsetting. Some guys have “ feminine” mannerisms but aren’t gay so don’t assume that they’re gay unless you know for sure. He also just might be someone with mild Aspergers and they tend to not pick up on social cues.

    Unfortunately women are told to try to ignore the behavior which usually encourages the creep to act creepier.

    Ask a friend to come get you if you really don’t want to sit with the guy.
     
  5. Sparagmos

    Sparagmos Well-Known Member

    +2,547
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Women deal with this constantly- guys they aren’t attracted to who won’t leave them alone. Just be very direct that you’re not interested and try to ignore them. Also like another poster said they may not be gay. Just know that what you are dealing with is a normal part of being out in the world; people you don’t want to me friends with will want to be friends with you, and won’t always “get the hint.”
     
  6. dzheremi

    dzheremi Coptic Orthodox non-Egyptian

    +8,141
    Oriental Orthodox
    Private
    Hmm. Maybe college in America (where I am) is different than college in Poland, but whenever I was in situations like that, I always just told the person "I can't ____ (go to lunch/a movie/whatever); I have too much work to do." That never failed me. If everyone else in the situation is in college too, then they should be able to relate. Unless this class you have with the guy is the only class he has, he should know what having to do work is.

    If that fails, maybe a direct "No, I don't want to do that" would be effective? Sure, it's not very polite, but the guy's a creep, and creeps who try to force themselves onto others are not being polite to begin with.
     
  7. Andrew98

    Andrew98 VR46

    369
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    Poland
    Christian Seeker
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    I don’t have friends. Not kidding
     
  8. Andrew98

    Andrew98 VR46

    369
    +162
    Poland
    Christian Seeker
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    Maybe he’s not a creep but I find him creepy. He sits with one leg over the other like a girl and also smiles at me in a ‘gay’ way and giggles. I try to avoid him as much as possible but he sits near me and asks me out for lunch when I’ve only known him for a month and barely speak to him. I feel like leaving the university.
     
  9. ChristianForCats

    ChristianForCats God Seeker

    +1,192
    United States
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    Single
    US-Democrat
    Remi, that has nothing to do with the location and everything to do with the offender. You are just lucky - VERY lucky.
     
  10. Anthony2019

    Anthony2019 "Only Me!" Supporter

    +3,657
    United Kingdom
    Anglican
    Single
    Not everyone means to be a menace or to be ill-intentioned.
    Perhaps he is just lonely and wants someone to talk to.
     
  11. mina

    mina Brown Eyed girl

    +3,492
    Christian
    Married
    It sounds like he's new and trying to make friends . If you really don't want to be friends then tell him. There is no reason to be rude.
     
  12. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

    +105,219
    Non-Denom
    Private
    US-Constitution
    Who was rude? Andrew?
     
  13. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

    +105,219
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    Andrew, tell him calmly, that you are not interested.
     
  14. Andrew98

    Andrew98 VR46

    369
    +162
    Poland
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    I wouldn’t mind if it was a woman
     
  15. Phil W

    Phil W Well-Known Member

    +330
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Nothing beats an honest "no".
    Go make other friends to socialize with so you have other reasons to separate yourself from him.
    Eventually he will make his own friends.
     
  16. Andrew98

    Andrew98 VR46

    369
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    Poland
    Christian Seeker
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    Was I rude?
     
  17. Andrew98

    Andrew98 VR46

    369
    +162
    Poland
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Anytime I say anything to him he disagrees. For example He wanted my phone number to ask for homework help and I wanted to give him my email instead to which he’s like why?
    He wants to have lunch with me and if I say no then he asks why. If I rearrange something so I don’t have to see him he’s like why and doesn’t seem to twig that I don’t want to be around him
     
  18. Stanfordella

    Stanfordella #FridaysForFuture Supporter

    +8,095
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Is it possible your classmate senses that and has actually tried to extend friendliness to you as a kindness?

    Nothing you've described about his actions is what I'd quantify as creepy or inappropriate. Why not have a spirit of grace and charity in your actions towards him? This doesn't mean you have to form a friendship if you're not interested in one, but there's no reason to not show the fruit of the spirit.
     
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  19. Anthony2019

    Anthony2019 "Only Me!" Supporter

    +3,657
    United Kingdom
    Anglican
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    Be friendly, be kind and respectful, but equally set your own boundaries. You should never feel obliged to do anything you do not feel comfortable with and you have a right to privacy. But Stanfordella is right, the correct Christian response is one of charity and kindness.
     
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  20. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

    +105,219
    Non-Denom
    Private
    US-Constitution
    No. You weren't rude at all.

    In addition, the last thing i'd worry about is being rude, when someone persistently "invades your space" without an invitation.

    What you describe IS creepy.
     
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