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How to start a conversation with a girl that is upset with you

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by athrun5, Dec 10, 2019.

  1. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

    152
    +12
    Christian
    Single
    I was wondering if someone could give me some guidance on a situation where the girl in question is mad at me but the reason for her being mad at me is not because of me. More importantly I am referring to how I should go about starting a conversation with her because she is "IMPORTANT" to me.

    Here is the situation, I upset her somehow in someway I don't know so dont ask. I gave her space like a month(close to) and a coworker of mine decided to get involved because he wanted to make me suffer(also very complicated to explain). So after he got involved by means of talking to my Sensei at class, my Sensei decided to talk to the both of us but of course individually starting with her. I have no idea what she said but after talking with him I felt very violated as I don't like it when people pry into my personal life without being needed or requested by anyone who is actually involved. She is the same hence the problem.

    So About 2 weeks later she found out that the guy who got sensei involved was someone who works with me and she has decided to give me the silent treatment where as before I could atleast talk to her to a point and get some kind of response. Its now been about another 2ish weeks since that started. I don't know what to say to her and I need to say something because I can't stand my best friend go on hating me forever when we were starting to get better.

    I will be talking with her on wednesday and I have no idea how I should start it.


    FYI please dont say drop it or leave it alone or find another girl because SHE IS IMPORTANT TO ME. I don't know how to explain it but life would feel like a mistake if she wasnt in it.
     
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  2. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +10,440
    Anabaptist
    As soon as permissible , or as soon as practical ?

    Walk up to her and look her in the eye (if she will look you in the eye back; otherwise just looking at her, with all due gentleness)
    tell her

    "Jesus' Shalom to you and your household today"

    then go from there, with her or you talking, or just being quiet - that's okay.
     
  3. Lost4words

    Lost4words In reality, an old dog! Supporter

    +4,706
    United Kingdom
    Catholic
    Single
    Unrealistic post
     
  4. Lost4words

    Lost4words In reality, an old dog! Supporter

    +4,706
    United Kingdom
    Catholic
    Single
    Ask her if you have upset her and how? Apologise profusely.

    Tell her you have been thinking of her and how you might have upset her unknowingly and wish to make things ok between the two of you. Be honest. Be friendly. Be kind.

    God bless you
     
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  5. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +5,828
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Greetings,

    Given the breach and misunderstanding, less is often best. Pray for the Lord’s counsel and lay the matter in His lap. Ask for His peace for both.

    Tell her you miss her. Apologize for hurting her. Then ask how you can make things right.

    Stop talking. Listen and let her get everything off her chest. Don’t interrupt. When she’s done respond to her comments. Allow the conversation to unfold with mutual give and take.

    Don’t get emotional or offended. And above all, avoid blame and judgment. When the connection is restored, work together to avoid future disconnections.

    Learn her hot spots, weaknesses, and insecurities. Be honest about your own and give each other grace when you err. Good luck. :)

    ~Bella
     
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  6. ReesePiece23

    ReesePiece23 The Peanut Buttery Member.

    +2,948
    Christian
    I was hoping this would be another one of those "easy" posts like the other 10,000 posts like this I read.

    I might have to actually sleep on this one. Lol - try not to play the victim at any point, show a bit of emotional maturity with whatever you do.
     
  7. Elliewaves

    Elliewaves Untouchable internet saint

    +937
    Non-Denom
    Engaged
    "I'm sorry for whatever I have done that has upset you. Please forgive me. I would like to continue being your friend if I can".
     
  8. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

    152
    +12
    Christian
    Single
    I have asked the Lord to help me in this time and time again. I hope and assume that all of this is part of his plan so I don't doubt his involvement in this one bit. I just feel all the hurt and pain that came with it. anyways love the advice thanks.
     
  9. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +5,828
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    You’re welcome. :)

    Misunderstandings happen. It’s very painful when you’re close. Oftentimes, God works through the discomfort to mature both parties. And they’re bettered in the long run.

    In most instances, we give greater weight to offenses than we should. We have to reach a point where love exceeds bruised feelings and separation is not an option.

    Hopefully, she’s come to a similar place in your time apart.

    ~Bella
     
  10. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

    152
    +12
    Christian
    Single
    Well it's not like she's my girlfriend but I do care for her and do wish for it someday. However I agree completely if we can make it through this we will become greater friends and have a real shot at something more.
     
  11. Radagast

    Radagast is no longer on CF Supporter

    +7,434
    Australia
    Christian
    Single
  12. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +5,828
    United States
    Christian
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  13. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

    152
    +12
    Christian
    Single
    So just a little update. I asked her if we could just move on and put everything behind us. She told me yes but only if I agree that the past is the past and that there is no bringing it up. So we are good again for the most part.
     
  14. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +5,828
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    I’m happy to hear you’ve cleared the air! I hope the mishap draws you closer and deepens your connection.

    ~Bella
     
  15. athrun5

    athrun5 Newbie

    152
    +12
    Christian
    Single
    Me to sister
     
  16. Nom De Guerre

    Nom De Guerre Who amongst you doesn't see life as permanent?

    +1,181
    Non-Denom
    Private
    The only thing you should do is try to make her smile or laugh the next time this happens you don't need to try to force an entire conversation bruh...

    Keep giving her space and just be friendly, if she appreciates your friendship she will accept this as an apology.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
  17. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +379
    United States
    Christian
    Single

    Yep...

    The most important part of the post is missing via this sentence. You don't know?! How can you not know?
     
  18. S.O.J.I.A.

    S.O.J.I.A. Dynamic UNO

    +2,554
    United States
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    having one person or another having this much control over your life is a really bad thing. you're better than this buddy.

    with that said, just go tell her that you are sorry for whatever you did to hurt her and make it clear that you are willing to listen. after that, the ball is in her court. if she still refuses to speak, then you're simply going to have to pick up the pieces and move on with your life and maybe this is the LORD teaching you to not make an idol out of another person.
     
  19. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +379
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Yep...also known as "one-nitus". Don't get one-nitus over this woman.
     
  20. S.O.J.I.A.

    S.O.J.I.A. Dynamic UNO

    +2,554
    United States
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    it's quite concerning when someone stops just short of saying they'll take their own life over a chic.

    not good.
     
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