How to Spank a Child Biblically?

W2L

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because the parent hasn't properly taught their kids to begin with, bonded with them, or gained their respect

so the parent becomes frustrated and turns to spanking
it takes time, lots and lots of time to establish bonding and a good solid relationship with a child
I disagree. Thats not the case.
 
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Logic Over Emotionalism

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you can disagree, but hitting a child creates distance between child and parent as well as distrust

I prefer to treat my child with love and compassion

This is your opinion nothing more. Do you believe that all children learn the same way? Since you are not the children's parents you do not know what discipline works for that child. To challenge what's best for someone else's child when you are merely looking in from the outside is not the best thing to do. In post #138 here are some of your assumptions:

1. "probably a parent yelling at them instead of".... yes "probably" which means you do not know just your opinion.

2. every parent I've seen hitting their kid... Do you go looking for parents who spank their kids just to point opinions on those who do spank?

3. "instead chose to act out of anger and hit a child" well obviously you haven't met a family that uses spanking out of love to see them do better and not out of anger. But maybe you are not looking for this tho.

4. "parents who use spanking fail to use all the other discipline"... You know that spanking parents or the majority of spanking parents do not use other forms of discipline before spanking? Me and my wife use other forms before spanking so I can say this is a false statement.

5. "when the parent instead can use their brain and use an appropriate discipline"... So if someone disciplines their children differently then you they are not using "their brain"?

You can treat them with love and compassion by being a good parent regardless if you believe spanking is good or not. This last sentence in this post of yours is nothing short of emotionalism without any substance. My children are not only close to me as we do all sorts of adventures to build life skills and yes my children do have trust in us as parents as they know we love them. We sacrifice everything for our children to give them a better life then us and it shows when you meet them.
 
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Logic Over Emotionalism

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not MY opinion but parenting experts
as I mentioned before have hours/yrs of parenting classes/workshops/reading under my belt

while we waited to adopt, I quit my job because we thought it would be only a few mos but turned out to be over a 4 yr wait and I spent the whole time reading and taking classes

not one person from the churches, not one parenting expert suggested spanking


I have also provided sources/studies from experts. Does those parenting classes/workshops make you a expert in all things regarding children? Does the classes I took or the massive youth events I helped put on make me a expert in children and early teens? No it does not. This argument from position of authority is a weak one.

Appeal to Authority
 
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no because it's already been proven that spanking is damaging and does not teach
it just helps the parent control the child and stop behavior in moment only
feel good method for parent (ta-da, kid stopped) but child learns nothing valuable, nothing positive

I'd think that people want to do the best for their children
something like, when one knows better, they do better

byw, there's research that it can also change grey matter in the brain
so by changing brain matter, children end up with less ability to control themselves

my mistake

"It's been proven already"... Nope as seen from the articles below (let's also remember I gave you a detailed review of your last article you provided):

Spanking makes kids perform better in school, helps them become more successful: study - NY Daily News

Evidence Favoring the Use of Disciplinary Spanking « GoodParent.org

Spanked children are more successful - study | DESTINY Magazine

My oldest son has not been spanked for about 4 of 5 months since turning five, so it's not in the "moment" as you claim. He learned and is doing better at home and in school.

Couple great article about those studies you are referring to:

Research on Disciplinary Spanking is Misleading

Findings Give Some Support To Advocates of Spanking
 
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Logic Over Emotionalism

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lol, do you even read the articles you list
not for spanking but against
From the article:

The research, by Calvin Collegepsychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe, found that kids smacked before age 6 grew up to be more successful, and that there was not enough evidence to say that smacking harms most kids, according to the London Daily Mail. But those who were smacked after age 6 were more likely than other kids to have behavioral difficulties, such as getting into fights, the Daily Mail reports."

I provided 5 articles for the support of spanking and the anti-spanking research is getting another look in to as you can see with the last two articles.
 
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from the article:

Gunnoe, who interviewed 2,600 people about being smacked, told the Daily Mail: "The claims that are made for not spanking children fail to hold up. I think of spanking as a dangerous tool, but then there are times when there is a job big enough for a dangerous tool. You don't use it for all your jobs."
Spanking is generally ineffective, says Tracy Dennis, associate professor of psychology at Hunter College. "I am not a personal proponent of spanking but there are many ways of doing it," she explains. "I wouldn't want parents to misinterpret these findings and think it's okay to spank a child."
Parenting guru Penelope Leach did not agree with Gunnoe's research, according to the Daily Mail. "No good can come from hitting a child," she says. "I do not buy this idea that children will learn positive behavior from being smacked."

Yes as any good article they get both sides of the issue. But according to the "research, by Calvin College psychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe," it is beneficial up to age six and then it ceases to be useful according to her study.

I also provided that the studies you hinted at are being looked over again as the way the study was done is in question.

This subject is far from conclusive in it's findings either way. Studies say it is good while others saying it is harmful. To say one way of parenting is wrong when there is no research that is definite in it's findings is nothing more then opinions. Experts are on both sides of the fence where some say it is beneficial.
 
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from the article:

Spanking is generally ineffective, says Tracy Dennis, associate professor of psychology at Hunter College.
Parenting guru Penelope Leach did not agree with Gunnoe's research, according to the Daily Mail. "No good can come from hitting a child," she says. "I do not buy this idea that children will learn positive behavior from being smacked."



And, she adds, "When a child is spanked when a parent loses control in an aggressive, fear-inducing way, this models aggression for the child and starts a cycle of violence in that child."


CYCLE of VIOLENCE
AGGRESSION
INEFFECTIVE
NO GOOD CAN COME FROM HITTING A CHILD

all from your article!

Good reporting often gets both both sides. From the article:

"The research, by Calvin Collegepsychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe, found that kids smacked before age 6 grew up to be more successful".....

More from the article:

Gunnoe, who interviewed 2,600 people about being smacked, told the Daily Mail: "The claims that are made for not spanking children fail to hold up. I think of spanking as a dangerous tool, but then there are times when there is a job big enough for a dangerous tool. You don't use it for all your jobs."

Very true statement you don't first resort to spanking before trying other forms first. But sometimes spanking is needed when the point has to be made.

More from the article:

"Most parents spank young kids to keep them safe, Dennis explains. A parent may slap a toddler's hand if they touch a hot stove, or spank a child who runs into the street. In that context, she says, a smack can be considered a way to keep a child out of danger or to assert parental authority, she says."

And even more from the article:

"Even timeouts, Dennis says, can have a detrimental effect on kids if imposed when a parent is out of control. "If you give your child a timeout because he or she broke a rule and you want there to be a consequence and you speak calmly, that is one thing," Dennis says. "But if you are screaming and angry when you give the timeout, it's not effective."

Spanking depends on the was it is delivered just as above is stating according to the article.

All above from one of the article I listed out of 5.
 
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From the article you listed:

"More than 100 studies have detailed these side effects of spanking,... There is probably no other aspect of parenting and child behavior where the results are so consistent,” he says."

Many of those studies that is referred to are under question as they were conducted in questionable ways:

Research on Disciplinary Spanking is Misleading

Findings Give Some Support To Advocates of Spanking

When your research comes from faulty data your whole argument falls flat.
 
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take a couple minutes and listen to the video at the top of the article

it's the stress
it's especially bad on the younger children whose brains are still developing

this goes along with research and expert speakers that I've heard re trauma

stress, trauma affects the brain negatively
there is no doubt about it

According to the first article I listed time outs can be just as stressful. So this does not hold up. Besides trauma on the brains comes from faulty data if you read the articles of my last post. The tests were done on children who were abused physically not a swat on the butt or a simple spanking but abuse. I would read in to how the research was collected.
 
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"Straus has a suggestion for the holidays. “If you are looking for gift that will increase your child’s chances for a happy and healthful life, including a good job and a violence-free marriage, the evidence in this book suggests it would be promising yourself to never spank. Better yet, tell your kids about that promise. It is likely to increase their respect and love for you, and they will also help you stick to it.”
“More than 20 nations now prohibit spanking by parents. There is an emerging consensus that this is a fundamental human right for children. "


from the Case Against Spanking

Nothing but silly emotionalism. Say you won't spank them as if there is something proven against the practice which there is no proven data against it.
 
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trauma/stress effects on brain development is real

I've listened to enough experts on trauma to know
plus I have a child who spent two years in an orphanage


don't tell me it's not real

Those are your opinions and nothing more. I gave studies supporting my position and studies that bring your studies in to question as they were done on abuse victims not spanking parents or the way the study was conducted was questionable. These are experts who meeting at the American Psychological Association in San Francisco where doctors in this field questioned the way those studies were conducted.

Once again you are trying to come at this from a position of authority which is weak. I have heard from experts too and in big youth events talked to teens dealing with all ranges of issues but this does not make me an expert in this field in any way.
 
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