A little context here i'm a student and every day i'm surrounded by other young people some even claiming to be christians, but who disrespect our police our troops and basically all authority figures.
every time they cry about the NRA and disrespect our constitutional rights or accuse police of murder when their just doing their jobs, i grow angrier and angrier
it did not used to be like this even just two years ago at my school
and i hate to admit that i am overcome with hatred for these disrespectful kids and i even have cruel thoughts like punching them (nothing extreme) or kicking them until they say the pledge of allegiance in class
some of them won't even stand up for the pledge in the morning
how has it got this bad in just a few years?
i have a hard, hard time to reconcile my fury and anger with the knowledge that Christ is the Prince of Peace.
but then i see him binding together materials to form a lash and going into god's house and whipping those who profaned it until they bled and destroying their money altars
am i sinning when i fail to love my classmates am i failing Him when i grow so full of what i think is righteous anger, or am i really jsut succumbing to what S8N wants
thank you for your time and i'm sorry if my rage and self doubt darkens your day, i just want to make progress in my walk with the Lord and follow His path for me
The solution to all that is really quite simple, but not necessarily easy.
The solution is to consciously decide to look at those kids in the same way that God looked / looks at you...
His frame of reference having been / being?
Romans 5:6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 5:7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 5:9 Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. 5:10 For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 5:11 And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.
See that - when we were enemies.
The problem you are experiencing is that you are looking at your situation as being one where you feel you have to forgive them.
Problem with that is that you do not feel like forgiving them.
The difference between your feeling that you have to forgive them and your feeling that you don't want to, is what's behind your turmoil.
But what if you were to look at this from God's perspective?
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 5:9 Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
2 Corinthians 5:19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
See, if you can't do that, then you won't be able to be effective in the rest of this.
In this part here.
5:20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. 5:21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
The world's values will continue to defeat you.
The thing to do?
Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
How?
Through passages like the ones I have been citing about where God looks at both you, and those kids from.
From the Cross of His Son dying for you / them.
Focus on the fact that where you have been looking at things from has not only defeated you, but made you miserable.
And on the fact that you can choose to look at those kids from God's perspective - the Cross of His Dear Son.
And that by continually doing so, you'll not only be continually thanking Him for having looked at you from the Cross of His Dear Son, but you'll then be enabled to do by that, what He died for you for, to begin with - you'll be making His Cross your focus, and by that, you be being a witness of that Cross to others.
In other words, don't look at your forgiving as a have to, but as a can do - if you'll just look at those kids through the Cross of Christ just like God does - to His Son's Glory ALONE.
Just look at those kids through that, "in His stead...in remembrance of" Him.
Just try that for a time, and no matter how often you blow it.
In fact, when you do blow it, just remind yourself "yep, this too is exactly also why Christ died, for my weakness also - thank you Lord!"
In short...
1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
Try that for a time...
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Rom. 5: 6-8 - in each our stead.
