How to love myself?

[aggiee]

Each morning, i have to spend one more hour to re edit my head and minds which like a movie, then i can get up, and i hate myself cuz it wastes so much time.

and in daily time even if just cook or wash faces, any positive thing i try, there is a wall, just not let me do it...

and i m not lazy or refuse to work, or i use negative health situation to manipulate people trying to get help or get things as I want etc.....but if my family or friend say i m manipulating, i just believe it and i start to hate myself even more....

some days i can push myself to go out to buy food or things etc, but always still feel v pushing hands on my back saying:u must rush, u must rush, u should not delay or lazy

but actually all my life i study v hard work v hard, but i m born weak and also received a lot abuse in life, i m still feeling i need to sleep 100 hours to gain back strength.
but God has protected me and my physical health is progress and i can eat i can walk etc better , and i have some strength, i just not understand myself, why i can not get myself moving and to do work?

and i can not understand why i just do not know a proper way to embrace and love myself? why so hate myself?(a cousel friend has said i was too hard to myself, but life is tough and v competitive here for me, i have a lot waiting for me, how to raise up?)

 

[uniquetadpole]

believe it or not...that may be one area that we all have difficulty with... loving ourselves. And if it takes you only an hour to reprogram your mind every morning... and you still do it... then you really do love yourself. Some people don't even love themselves enough to do that much. You just keep on going girl... you inspire me. Maybe in a few months or a year maybeit will only take you 45 minutes to reprogram. practice makes progress. I believe you about the manipulation issue and the lazy one too... people have called me that and totally misunderstood me... and I know inside that I work harder than most because of my challenges...just to keep up with them... rush rush rush... I have to reprogram that too... "I slow down for me"...

I learned something about positive affirmations that is supposed to work better... I hope it helps...

always start with "I"
always state it positively (don't use should, must, not, etc.)
and always end in "for me"

50 five times a day for 6 months is the recommended... and if you miss a day you start the 6 month count over again.

I have yet to make it happen. I fight doing them because I hate myself...

oh and if it takes you an hour to reprogram...then is isn't a waste of time becuase you are actually doing it... not too many people can say that. You are worth the hour it takes... keep that in mind.

Tad

 

[Surviving]

Loving yourself after abuse is one of the hardest things to do...I think we can all say that. We get so use to being treated badly by people that we actually start to believe that we ARE who we are. What we need to do now though is BE who we CAN be. We can be anything that we want to be.

Tad is right when she says that you have made a good start by spending an hour a day re-affirming yourself. I wish I could do that. Being positive is so hard to do sometimes, but you ARE doing it. Keep this in mind when you think things are going down.