How to handle a rude brother in law?

[harko]

Are you volunteering?

Jesus is

 

[brinny]

Jesus is

Nice dodge.

LOL!

 

[harko]

Nice dodge.

LOL!

Would be hard for me being over the pond :\

 

[brinny]

Would be hard for me being over the pond :\

Nah, you dodged it splendidly.

Congrats.

 

[harko]

I feel that getting too involved in your sisters relationship could make things worse for her bro! End of the day they are going to be together , best thing is to let your sister know you are there for her and that you know what's going on! I would tell him I do not appreciate being called names and it needs to stop! Then leave it with God

 

[harko]

Love you guys and gals!

 

[drjean]

One possible angle that I see is the addiction & withdrawal cycle.

Oh there are a number of causes...it was just a way to discuss HIS issues without directly confronting him. A type of forced self-diagnosis?

Most abusers, sadly, were abused themselves. But the abuse cycle must stop and if he continues, then his children will also abuse in some way...etc. It's juvenile behavior at the core (calling names) and nearly always when a person denigrates another it's to make they, themselves (the abusers) feel as if they are better than the other but it also takes the focus off of themselves (in reality an emotionally deficit individual who has somewhat of an inferiority complex) and puts it onto the "idiot" or whatever name used.

 

[harko]

Oh there are a number of causes...it was just a way to discuss HIS issues without directly confronting him. A type of forced self-diagnosis?

Most abusers, sadly, were abused themselves. But the abuse cycle must stop and if he continues, then his children will also abuse in some way...etc. It's juvenile behavior at the core (calling names) and nearly always when a person denigrates another it's to make they, themselves (the abusers) feel as if they are better than the other but it also takes the focus off of themselves (in reality an emotionally deficit individual who has somewhat of an inferiority complex) and puts it onto the "idiot" or whatever name used.

Just because we are Christians doesn't mean we have to keep our mouths shut and let people abuse us! We are better than that! And not idiots

 

[harko]

Just because we are Christians doesn't mean we have to keep our mouths shut and let people abuse us! We are better than that! And not idiots

Some people need showing otherwise they carry on with the abuse!

 

[harko]

Some people need showing otherwise they carry on with the abuse!

Don't get arrested because of him though!

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Thats such a hard call to make...I'm very sorry youre going though this. If he keeps up with the insulting behavior is there a way you guys can just hang out without him..or exckude him?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Just because we are Christians doesn't mean we have to keep our mouths shut and let people abuse us! We are better than that! And not idiots

Exactly! No one should be silent when it comes to abuse.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I haven't threatened him yet but I do think he needs to know there are consequences for talking the way he does. I don't think my sister would consider him calling her names every day and talking down to her abusive. Anyone outside of the relationship can see it is though. But women who are in abusive relationships probably don't consider them to be abusive until they get fed up. He has money and they live nicely so it seems she puts up with it. The thing is while when they first met she wasn't working she has a nice job with the Va making 70k+ and doesn't need him for financial reasons anymore. Yet apparently she does love him even though he says the worst things to her.

I think you should have a talk with your sist3r and tell her she des3rves better treatment. Maybe you your sister and bro inlaw and mom could all sit down and talk and come up with a resolution.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

My sister admits hes miserable and I guess has sympathy for him but a bad childhood and depression is no excuse. He isn't on any more drugs for depression so hes supposed to be better and I don't think its an excuse anymore as you say.

It isnt an excuse, my close friend deals with depression yet he treats his fiancee like gold. I would talk to him about whatever is bothering you.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

ONE time is all it would take for me to go into a shelter or hiding!

Lololol I know what you mean. I'm not the one.

 

[disciple1]

I have a brother in law who is in his early 30's and hes a pharmacist and he behaves like a child. He keeps calling me names like idiot and stupid and calls my sister who is his wife worse names. And treats her really bad and is just an overall miserable person. It would be easy for me to take physical action here and give him reasons to think twice before he calls one of us an idiot or stupid again but my sister would be upset if I did that. I want to resolve this in a nonphysical way. Whats the best course of action here and should I let him know things may become physical if he doesn't stop?

I don't know what to tell you, I'm just glad I don't have someone that childish in my family.

 

[Rescued One]

Abusive husband movie: Gaslight (1944).

 

[Rescued One]

 

[Rescued One]

 

[brinny]

View attachment 214545

Spot on!

Amen!!