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How to get children to go to church as adults

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by Ukrainia, Dec 17, 2010.

  1. Ukrainia

    Ukrainia Guest

    I ran across a study stating that when a child's father goes to church regularly, it's likely that the child will become a regular church goer (regardless of if the mother goes to church or not).

    If it's the mother that is a regular church goer, but the father doesn't go, it's much much less likely that the child will become a regular church goer.

    Suprisingly it even stated that if the father alone is the regular church goer, it seems that the child will more likely become a regular church goer than if both parents are regular church goers.

    The conclusion is one of the main factors in if a child will become a regular church goer is if the father is a regular church goer.

    The study took place in 1994 in Switzerland, so it's difficult to say how much it applies to Americans or other non Swiss. Here's where I found the information: Raising children so they will go to church as adults | Cranach: The Blog of Veith .

    So does this ring true in your experience?

    Why might it be true (or if you don't think it's true, why don't you think it applies)?
  2. Nomarga

    Nomarga Newbie

    Coming from my own limited experiences, I think that having a church-going father means that you get a double reinforcement of whatever religion it is, since, as far as I've seen, the mother is usually religious as well.

    I think if your father does not go to church regularly, you're more likely to be exposed to varying points of view/apathy towards religion and also may have a greater range of accepted religious viewpoints instead of being channeled on the "straight and narrow."
  3. AlexBP

    AlexBP Newbie

    Speaking for myself, my parents were both totally unchurched when I was born. My father was a strong atheist and still is. My mother began attending the local Presbyterian church when I was perhaps fifteen years old; she later switched to an Episcopal church. And I, needless to say, am now a regular church-goer. So my experience would not corroborate that study, but then again I'm only a solitary data point.

    On the common sense level I can only say this. The best thing anyone can do for their children is to raise them up right, give them the best possible education, and assure them that they are loved no matter what. Regularly attending church with your kids is a great thing, but even more important is talking to them personally about Jesus and praying with them daily.
  4. singpeace

    singpeace Senior Member Supporter


    My husband is a man's man. However, only his mother regularly attended church. His father stayed home. My husband has hardly missed a service in the 17 years we've been married.

    My father never missed a service or a revival all our lives. My brother who is 50 hasn't set foot in a church more than three times in the past 20 years.
  5. Beauty4Ashes

    Beauty4Ashes All that I need, is a song in my heart. . .

    Interesting study. Not applicable to me though. My parents were both non christians when I was a child but later after my parents seperated, my mom started going to church as did I and we both became christians the same year.
  6. Amber.ly

    Amber.ly Predictably eccentric and honestly hypocritical

    Both my parents are Christians and were very faithful in going to church.

    My eldest brother doesn't go to church at all and barely believes in God anymore.
  7. Isambard

    Isambard Nihilist Extrodinaire

    My Dad never went to church as he was a closet atheist and worked nights.

    Personally I would go to church if the religion made more sense to me :p
  8. ifightdwagons

    ifightdwagons the water, the Spirit and the blood; 1 John5:8

    i am so glad my parents didnt force anything on me. in fact there was barely anything about god. but now i believe so heavily and all i do is think about it. But i still dont go to church and am so picky it may not be possible.

    i don't consider church going being religious. it is not a weekly thing or anything. if i belonged to a church it would have to have the same beliefs, which my beliefs are in the minority. also it couldnt be once a week, it would have to be almost every day
  9. Wren

    Wren Legend

    Not the case in my family. My grandfather was a big church goer, but my mother and her siblings do not attend church...and haven't regularly attended since they were teenagers. I never attended church with my father, but did with my grandfather and great-grandmother when I was younger. My grandfather isn't my father, obviously, but I stopped attending church when I was about 12 years old and didn't regularly start attending church again 'til I was in my mid to late 20s.
  10. white dove

    white dove (she's a) maniac

    Other Religion
    Untrue from what I've seen around me, but even if I didn't see such examples I still would not hold much weight to that old study. I think it is damaging for people to believe such tripe, whether incorrect or not. So why not throw in the towel, ladies, and stay home on Friday/Saturday nights or Sunday mornings? Psh, what does it matter? Hogwash. My child's biological father is not a Christian, but I fully intend to keep my child in the Church body. When he becomes an adult, it will be his choice whether or not to continue, but I will raise him as though he will. He will learn about other cultures, which includes other religions, but I believe in raising a child in the way they should go. Due to my upbringing and what my faith has meant and does mean to me, that is the Christian way. No man-made survey will tell me otherwise.
  11. mina

    mina Brown Eyed girl

    I used to wish my dad would go to church with us. He was usually exhausted from work so he stayed home..... my mom would take us sporadically. But I do go to church as an adult.
  12. Blank123

    Blank123 Legend

    perhaps in general terms it may be the case, but in practical terms and in many individual case I don't think we can assume that a child raised by a church going father is more likely to go to church than a child with a nonchurch going father. Christianity is an individual and personal faith and we can't strategize on how to create more devout Christians. Its just not possible.

    And thats of course assuming that church-going = true Christian. Lots of true Christians do not attend church and lots of nonChristians do attend church. being in a church doesn't tell us anything about that person (or his/her faith) aside from the fact that they are inside a church building.
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2010
  13. K9_Trainer

    K9_Trainer Unusually unusual, absolutely unpredictable

    In Relationship
    Neither of my parents or my stepfather went to church while I was growing up. I started attending temporarily between 6th and 7th grade or so, but stopped. Now I rarely go, although my stepfather has taken to attending his Mormon services every sunday.
  14. Thunder Peel

    Thunder Peel You don't eat a peacock until it's cooked.

    I think it depends. My parents went to church all the time and yet I only go occasionally. I think it really depends on the person and what kinds of churches are available.
  15. broken_one

    broken_one Fear is but something to be overcome.

    I think my father was the greatest deterrent for me when dealing with any sort of religion or faith.
  16. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    It does. Dad went to church, and in many ways was a spiritual leader in our home. God was always very real to him, and it was clear that God was a priority - he wasn't the kind of guy whose wife had to cajole and drag to church, and he never went half-heartedly. Unless he was really sick, he was in church every week, even when we as a family were on the road. He made God a priority, and he made us a priority. Those are two key things he did right, and which I plan to emulate.
  17. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    I don't think that's what people should take from the study. Rather, it's message to the ladies to make sure they marry a faithful Christian man rather than a spiritual couch potato. And it shows how powerful a father is in the lives of his children.
  18. white dove

    white dove (she's a) maniac

    Other Religion
    Except for those here who've said that it didn't make a difference in their lives, as well as the examples I've witnessed. I think LT hit it on the head with this one. Very true.

    I would also add that mothers are incredibly powerful influences in the lives of their children, as well. Mothers take on duties as both protector and nurturer. They teach and instruct just as much, if not more so, than fathers. And the bond and influence between mother and child(ren) is not something to easily discount, which is what this old study appears to be doing.
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2010
  19. Obzocky

    Obzocky Senior Contributor


    Personally i've seen how turning church attendance into a chore with no meaning results in fewer adult attendances than whether one or both parents go. Also double standards, having the church as being something you do because you have to rather than making it part of life. Also factoring into that not all worship styles suit all people, that when moving from home towns people can find it difficult to step into a congregation and feel comfortable ... so many variables and within them people who had devoted church attenders and wouldn't be seen dead types. People grow, people change.
  20. SearcherKris

    SearcherKris Regular Member

    "Likely" does not mean guaranteed or consistently true. It means that it is true some of the time.

    For me, most of my upbringing, neither of my parents went to church. I went by myself because I wanted to. When I was a little girl my mother would drop me off for Sunday School and then go back to pick me up.

    I am raising my children as a single mom. Their father currently does not attend church and says that he does not know if Christianity is true or not. This has had an effect on my older son. It has made him temporarily want to investigate other beliefs. That only lasted for about a week, but I expect it to come up again.

    A father's influence is very powerful in people's lives. However, that is not all that we have to go on. God is gracious and loves fiercely. He pursues people regardless of what their fathers believed or did.