How to deal with evil, toxic, lost and bully type ppl without judging?

[IceMasterPT]

When i was kid i was bullied by everyone, and i had no friends back then, so as i grew up i developed some sort of Anti-bullying defense barrier in my mind. Now i have huge dificulties to approach "Dificult" ppl, in order to evangelize them because my mind automatically fires a Anti bully respose system that keeps telling me to stay away from these people. And i start judging them a lot in my internal dialog. Even if i dont know them.
I Know it's wrong, because as a christian it is my duty to spread the Word, and to help others to be saved from darkness. But i just can't, i feel too anxious whenever i have to evangelize the same kind of deliquent type ppl who used to make fun of me and bully me at school.
I want to fight this. any tips?

 

[Aleksandros]

Brother - as one who has such an 'alarm system' in my mind, I get you.
Some 'types' of people, set that off.

Do not try to evangelise these types of people yet.

Spend time drawing closer to Christ, and learn from Him. Pray about this a lot too - psychological wounds have to be dealt with before one can be effective socially.

Brother, you can approach God with confidence for victory about this issue. Why? Because fear is contrary to love - we are meant to love others; but how can you feel or have love when you fear others? "Perfect love casteth out fear", and, "fear hath torment"

I have had social issues for years upon years, starting from school and probably childhood as well, but recently I've been having days where it is as though I'm cured - I feel the urge to approach people, instead of forcing myself.

Trust that God desires you to be free of fearing men!

 

[AlexDTX]

Aleksandro nailed it. We are not called to share the Gospel with everyone, only those that the Spirit leads us towards. After Jesus was resurrected, Peter was asked by a lame man for money in the book of Acts. Peter had no money but gave what he had: the power to heal the man. This man had been begging there for 40 years and everyone knew him, which means that he was there when Jesus had his earthly ministry. Jesus never healed that man or shared the Gospel to him because the Spirit did not lead Jesus to share with him. The Spirit kept the man for Peter.

There are many laborers in the harvest of God. Some water, some plant, some prune, some fertilize, but the increase is always from God. No one is called to do everything, only the part we are led to do.
Be at peace. By pass those that are difficult. God has others that are better equipped to deal with them.

Lastly, evangelism is best when the harvest is ripe. I have done many trips to Venezuela and it is very easy to share the Gospel because many there want to hear the Gospel. Not everyone is ripe for harvest. Some have fallow ground that simply needs to be broken up before the seed can be planted. Maturity will show which is ready and which is not.

PS

After posting this I remembered the Macedonian call of Paul. Paul originally wanted to to to north Turkey (Asia Minor) but the Spirit forbid him to go. Instead the Spirit directed him to to to Greece because there was a man crying out for God. This man was ready to receive the Gospel but the people of north Turkey were not. If you read the list of places that Peter addresses in his epistle, these are the very places that Paul was forbidden to go. In other words, the Spirit reserved those places for Peter to preach the Gospel at a later time.

 

[pdudgeon]

When i was kid i was bullied by everyone, and i had no friends back then, so as i grew up i developed some sort of Anti-bullying defense barrier in my mind. Now i have huge dificulties to approach "Dificult" ppl, in order to evangelize them because my mind automatically fires a Anti bully respose system that keeps telling me to stay away from these people. And i start judging them a lot in my internal dialog. Even if i dont know them.
I Know it's wrong, because as a christian it is my duty to spread the Word, and to help others to be saved from darkness. But i just can't, i feel too anxious whenever i have to evangelize the same kind of deliquent type ppl who used to make fun of me and bully me at school.
I want to fight this. any tips?

6 words:
See them as Jesus sees them.

When you change your point of reference in how you view them, you'll also change your method of reaching them.

 

[Cassidy Bennett]

IcemasterPT, I think its amazing that you are sharing the word like this first off!

I think everyone feels like this with certain people. It's hard to communicate with someone who is screaming at you, etc for any situation. Let alone something as emotional as religion tends to get. Maybe start out asking them if they would like to hear about Jesus? This way if they truly do you can talk to them and if they don't move on to to someone who does.

As far as the bullying it's something we all have dealt with or deal with at some point. I think of it as this: that person is behaving the best way they can with the knowledge and experience they have. What they are saying has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Even knowing that I believe psychology says it takes 1000 positive comments to knock 1 negative comment for us! That's crazy if you think about it but probably true. We tend to focus on the negative.

No matter what you decide to do know that you are loved beyond human understanding. You don't have to live in fear, but if you are afraid it's okay to try a different approach or people. God Bless You!

 

[LoricaLady]

First, though we are told to spread the Gospel through the world, we are NOT told to spread it to every person. In fact in Proverbs we are told to be discrete in evil times. These are evil times. Read what our Savior said about tossing out pearls to the swine and to the dogs. He didn't recommend it, did he?

He also talked about good seed and seed sown by the evil one. You are not going to save anyone who is bad seed. Can't happen. How can you tell good seed from bad seed? Well, only with the power of the Holy Spirit. You need to be more concentrated on getting close to Him, so that you get His guidance before you go out feeling you have to witness to everyone.
I'm sure some bullies can be saved. But not all. Remember we are told that "few" will take the straight and narrow path to Heaven. Leave them alone unless you are real sure the Holy Spirit is leading you to witness, and how to witness.

 

[IceMasterPT]

thanks for the answers . they were very good.
I am part of a youth group in my church, and every saturday we do a whole afternoon evangelization, focused mainly on young ppl. Recently our youth leader decided that we should focus on these ppl from a dificult neighborhood full of drug, prostitution and police troubles. And the way we do it is like this:
We all join together at the church then we do a praying then we all split up in groups of 2 all around the city. And its really hard for me, but guess what? Every time i do it, i feel less "anxious"

I Know they are Souls, specially if they are lost in Hell, it is our Duty as christians to try to get themout of darkness. Even if they are evil sinners drug addicts and prostitutes, they have a soul. I think God placed me in this position so i can finaly learn how to accept people, and forgive them too.

 

[longwait]

Toxic people are sadistic and the best thing to do is to maintain a distance from them. That's how i feel. I could be wrong.

 

[Rescued One]

Approaching non-toxic people:

"We must feel toward our people as a father toward his children; yea, the most tender love of a mother must not surpass ours. We must even travail in birth, till Christ be formed in them. They should see that we care for no outward thing, neither liberty, nor honor, nor life, in comparison to their salvation... When the people see that you truly love them, they will hear anything from you...Oh therefore, see that you feel a tender love for your people in your hearts, and let them perceive it in your speech and conduct. Let them see that you spend and are spent for their sakes."
- Richard Baxter

 

[limerick]

I'm sorry that you had to experience so much

Here are some thoughts that I hope would be of help to you

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness

We should not be trying to have relationships with people who most would consider to be harmful to others. This is because the sort of people we spend time with influences us. If we spend time with those who are considered to be harmful, we would likely be harmed

Our time would be better used by spending time with those of the faith, and helping those who are in need, such as the poor

We are not to talk about the gospel to everyone, but to those who would be receptive. Not everyone wants to hear about the gospel, and we are to respect that. Some people are also not supportive of religion, and talking to such people about religion would likely be harmful to us, and may even make us look bad

It would be better if we lived good lives, that attracted people to ask us about what makes us different from others

 

[dreadnought]

When i was kid i was bullied by everyone, and i had no friends back then, so as i grew up i developed some sort of Anti-bullying defense barrier in my mind. Now i have huge dificulties to approach "Dificult" ppl, in order to evangelize them because my mind automatically fires a Anti bully respose system that keeps telling me to stay away from these people. And i start judging them a lot in my internal dialog. Even if i dont know them.
I Know it's wrong, because as a christian it is my duty to spread the Word, and to help others to be saved from darkness. But i just can't, i feel too anxious whenever i have to evangelize the same kind of deliquent type ppl who used to make fun of me and bully me at school.
I want to fight this. any tips?

Protecting yourself from people is not being judgmental.

 

[Yoona86]

When i was kid i was bullied by everyone, and i had no friends back then, so as i grew up i developed some sort of Anti-bullying defense barrier in my mind. Now i have huge dificulties to approach "Dificult" ppl, in order to evangelize them because my mind automatically fires a Anti bully respose system that keeps telling me to stay away from these people. And i start judging them a lot in my internal dialog. Even if i dont know them.
I Know it's wrong, because as a christian it is my duty to spread the Word, and to help others to be saved from darkness. But i just can't, i feel too anxious whenever i have to evangelize the same kind of deliquent type ppl who used to make fun of me and bully me at school.
I want to fight this. any tips?

hello

depends on what you mean by difficult people.

because for me, there is a difference between toxic people and difficult people

for me difficult simply means people who are prickly in the way they interact with others, or maybe a little bit bossy.

toxic people on the other hand, actively seek to or ready to join others to bring destruction to others' lives.

bullies are definitely toxic people.

mine advice to you would be to distant yourself at all cost if you can from those who are toxic.

just because you are a Christian does not mean you should give them opportunities to bring destruction or potential destruction into your life

you can certainly pray for them from afar or in private (as in cases you can not completely distance yourself from them but even then you should keep your relationship strictly cordial but on a professional level only)

i should also add that since we are all sinners, everyone has the capacity of acting in a malicious manner

but you should definitely distant yourself from those when there is a pattern in their behavior, or those you can tell have unresolved issues of hidden hatred that led them to behave in a evil manner.

even in situations where a person who is normally ok, but they are trying to suck you into their lies, you should still distant yourself from them in a diplomatic manner ( you have to be careful not to make yourself the target of their wrath and hence schemes) until that person stop what they are doing in that particular situation at the very least

as far as people who are prickly, you don't have to put up with their crap either.

 

[Yoona86]

thanks for the answers . they were very good.
I am part of a youth group in my church, and every saturday we do a whole afternoon evangelization, focused mainly on young ppl. Recently our youth leader decided that we should focus on these ppl from a dificult neighborhood full of drug, prostitution and police troubles. And the way we do it is like this:
We all join together at the church then we do a praying then we all split up in groups of 2 all around the city. And its really hard for me, but guess what? Every time i do it, i feel less "anxious"

I Know they are Souls, specially if they are lost in Hell, it is our Duty as christians to try to get themout of darkness. Even if they are evil sinners drug addicts and prostitutes, they have a soul. I think God placed me in this position so i can finaly learn how to accept people, and forgive them too.

ok you are talking drug addicts and prostitutes here?

if that is case, i won't classify them as toxic and evil, they are just people who are lost

however, if you have negative feelings towards them because of your past experience

please consider not partake in the ministry for now other than pray for them from afar for now until God bring full healing to your past experience and you have grown to a point in your spiritual walk where you are able to view them with love and compassion.

now we are all work in progress, it is absolutely ok if you not there yet.

otherwise you will only hurt yourself and them

God bless you

i should add that when you approach your leader with the request of not participate in the actual interactions with those you are talking about. you might want to think about how much you want to disclose to him base on how well you know him and how you think he might react. if you think he is judgemental piece of crap, then to protect yourself, you don't have to, neither are you obligated to explain in all the details including your struggles with defensive thoughts. just tell him you are not ready for this type of ministry yet because of where you are with Christ and you would like to focus on getting to know Christ better at this point, but you will be happy to continue to pray for them.