How long??

[hisbloodformysins]

Ok i know many of you have been waiting for your soul mate a lot longer then I have.

But ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

ok, feel a little better

I have finally resigned myself to waiting for his best. And I have a growing list of must haves...


Like he has to love God and obey him

He has to be faithful (not just sexually but can't be checking out women while we are together)

He has to be honest at all times..

We have to be able to TALK and resolve problems. I have figured out that the quiet types and withdrawing from conflict DOES NOT work for me.

And we have to get along and connect... i think my list will grow even more over time. I've never been picky before but I think it's a good idea.

So I'm waiting on the lord and trying to focus on his life lessons and letting him grow me day by day.

I just hope he brings me that man soon. I could use the companionship.

HB

 

[Rory]

Nothing wrong with being picky as long as it's over the right things. From your list so far seems you are on the right track for how to be picky.

 

[JasperJackson]

I know it can be really hard. But I do get a little when I hear both men and women speaking of waiting. I don't think we should be completely passive in this part of our lives. God works in us like we pedal on a bike - in cooperation. Tell me if I'm wrong but isn't that one of messages of Ruth? That we should be more proactive in going after a man (or woman for the guys) who takes our fancy.

 

[singpeace]

Ok i know many of you have been waiting for your soul mate a lot longer then I have.

But ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

ok, feel a little better

I have finally resigned myself to waiting for his best. And I have a growing list of must haves...


Like he has to love God and obey him

He has to be faithful (not just sexually but can't be checking out women while we are together)

He has to be honest at all times..

We have to be able to TALK and resolve problems. I have figured out that the quiet types and withdrawing from conflict DOES NOT work for me.

And we have to get along and connect... i think my list will grow even more over time. I've never been picky before but I think it's a good idea.

So I'm waiting on the lord and trying to focus on his life lessons and letting him grow me day by day.

I just hope he brings me that man soon. I could use the companionship.

HB

Hisblood,

I was right where you are except that I had divorced a very abusive husband and realizing that I had always picked losers, resigned myself to being alone. I said, "I don't care if I never marry again, it's just You and me, Jesus. You are my husband now." And I truly did follow through with that. For nearly three years, Jesus was my one and only love - the lover of my soul - my soul mate - my husband. At the end of three years, I began to feel that longing again for a physical soul mate and prayed for God to send me the man of his choice. Losers came out of the woodwork - I guess Satan sent those men, but I had grown so strong in the Lord by then that I saw and understood God was not in them. Then, God sent my true husband. Within 30 minutes of our meeting each other, God told him, "This is your wife." Four days later, God told me, "He is going to be your husband." We were married 3 months later and have been serving Christ together in ministry for 17 years.

The waiting can become a wonderful experience... a path of glory and confidence-building. It can be life-changing. If you must wait anyway, make the most of the waiting... maybe what I did made things happen quicker? I don't know, but I know what God did in me and for me. I hope the same - even better and greater things for you.

Father, give my sister the love of a life time - the husband who is like spun gold - a great gift. Cling to her, Lord and draw her near as she searches and waits - help her faith and strengthen her in Jesus name. Amen.


Isaiah 54:5
"For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth."

 

[GoodNewsJim]

The worst part I run into is God already let me date my soulmate. She was not only a 10 in the looks, but she is also one of my best friends. I managed to mess up a long distance relationship though because it was my first relationship and I didn't believe in God at the time.

It makes me wonder if God will ever send me a second soulmate which is sad.

 

[Thunder Peel]

Even though it's hard I'm glad that I'm called to singleness simply because I don't have to worry about finding someone. I feel bad for those of you who are searching though. I'm sure it can't be easy.

 

[StarryEyes]

Hey HB!

Those are some great traits to be looking out for! I kinda want to comment on one of them...
He has to be faithful (not just sexually but can't be checking out women while we are together)

THANK YOU for saying that! I keep hearing "I'm married but I can still look!" and garbage like that. Also, I've had what you typed in parenthesis happen to me before and it really doesn't make a person feel good at all. It really hurts and makes you feel like you aren't enough for your S.O.

Hang in there...... you're right when you say you're not the only one, but I hope you can also rejoice in these days of singleness as well! God bless you!

 

[JasperJackson]

THANK YOU for saying that! I keep hearing "I'm married but I can still look!" and garbage like that.

Really?? WOW! I'm pretty sure Jesus was pretty clear on this. Lust = Adultery. Matthew 5 anyone?

 

[MehGuy]

Ok i know many of you have been waiting for your soul mate a lot longer then I have.

But ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

ok, feel a little better

I have finally resigned myself to waiting for his best. And I have a growing list of must haves...


Like he has to love God and obey him

He has to be faithful (not just sexually but can't be checking out women while we are together)

He has to be honest at all times..

We have to be able to TALK and resolve problems. I have figured out that the quiet types and withdrawing from conflict DOES NOT work for me.

And we have to get along and connect... i think my list will grow even more over time. I've never been picky before but I think it's a good idea.

So I'm waiting on the lord and trying to focus on his life lessons and letting him grow me day by day.

I just hope he brings me that man soon. I could use the companionship.

HB

I don't know how long I am going to have to wait. I really don't love anyone as it is. Heck I don't even love myself, and in a niche sense I'm much further down the road than anyone I'll ever meet will probably get.

I really can't think of loving a person other than something to do with lust. *not necessarily sexual*

Maybe I've just been too idealistic with my ideas regarding a desirable person, that I've become to desensitized to anything else. Sometimes I wonder if love is something you have to jump through hopes in your mental state to achieve and not natural. And that I just haven't had any luck doing it.

 

[singpeace]

The worst part I run into is God already let me date my soulmate. She was not only a 10 in the looks, but she is also one of my best friends. I managed to mess up a long distance relationship though because it was my first relationship and I didn't believe in God at the time.

It makes me wonder if God will ever send me a second soulmate which is sad.

Jim,
Of course He will!


John 15:7 (NLT)
But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!

Romans 8:28 ESV

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.


1 Samuel 18:1 ESV

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Psalm 65:4 ESV

Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple!

 

[Thunder Peel]

The worst part I run into is God already let me date my soulmate. She was not only a 10 in the looks, but she is also one of my best friends. I managed to mess up a long distance relationship though because it was my first relationship and I didn't believe in God at the time.

It makes me wonder if God will ever send me a second soulmate which is sad.

I hope He does Jim. Sometimes you only get one shot at things like that and other times God will give you multiple chances. Hang in there.

 

[Blank123]

eh. I'm not actively searching right now. I've gone through that phase and if nothing comes of this crush, I'll go through it again.

I actually woke up this morning though thinking about this. I've got no idea what the future will bring, or if I'll ever even wind up married. Personally I can't really see myself getting married, though I would like to one day. But I have total peace over this. I've put it in God's hands, and if He wants it to happen in my life. It will happen. with or without my searching for it. If He knows I can better serve Him as a single woman, then He'll make sure that I never marry.

But I love that, even though *I* don't know whats coming around the corner for me, He is in control.

 

[GoodNewsJim]

Jim,
Of course He will!

I'm inclined to believe he will too. At least I have more faith than the average person to know God can shine favor on whomever he wants. I know God is real. I know God came through for me in the past. Like, there should be little to no chance at all of me meeting my first love. But she was perfect for me. So I have no doubt God can do it. God can find me a wife if he wants, and I'd rather have God find me a wife than for myself to do it because the quality of the love will be through the roof.

It is just that I'm in the desert, and I haven't even dated a girl in 4 years! At any moment, my wife could bump into me, and I'm really relying on God to come through... God can come through if he wants to. I pray to him daily, and the guy really does answer some of my prayers. I don't mind if I have unanswered prayer because God is doing things for the best. If I pray for something that would change reality in a way God doesn't want, I don't want it.

I've been wondering lately if I should start going to bars even though I know I'm not supposed to as a Christian. There is absolutely nowhere a man can go around here to meet a woman except to a bar. I do like beer too. But I think going to a bar is against God's plan. God is a romantic and wouldn't want your meeting to be at a bar.

God would rather do something like have you trip on a sidewalk, and some lady would stop to laugh at you, then a speeding car would drive by fast indicating you just saved her life by tripping over your shoelaces. God is a God of flair and when he wants something to happen, it will happen. There is no fear of saying the wrong thing and your soulmate to pass you by. I can't say enough good things about God. And no, I'm not just trying to suck up to get a wife God knows I'd be ultimately cool with not getting a 2nd soulmate, but life would seem more like a battle then. I don't want my life to seem like it is combat at all times, and it'd be fun to have kids of my own.

Tomorrow could be completely awesome, but today, I labor on and pray. Without God I have no Earthly hope for any success financially or maritally. And this is how it's been for a decade.

 

[singpeace]

Originally Posted by GoodNewsJim
The worst part I run into is God already let me date my soulmate. She was not only a 10 in the looks, but she is also one of my best friends. I managed to mess up a long distance relationship though because it was my first relationship and I didn't believe in God at the time.

It makes me wonder if God will ever send me a second soulmate which is sad.


Jim,
Of course He will!


John 15:7 (NLT)
But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!

Romans 8:28 ESV

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.


1 Samuel 18:1 ESV

As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Psalm 65:4 ESV

Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple!
__________________

 

[BigMat]

I decided as a teenager that I would learn from other people's mistakes rather than replicate them. One of the biggest, most frequent, most consequential mistakes I see people make is that that they don't wait for their soulmate. They settle for good enough or less and they end up paying dearly for it.

I know myself well enough to be aware that I would probably fall for the first moderately attractive woman I saw who had anything at all to do with me. So I don't even pursue romance. I choose to let God handle it. Unfortunately, I have a terrifying suspicion in the back of my mind that God is far less concerned about my agonizing need and desire to have a spouse than I am. I guess the uncertainty of what will or will not happen is a price one pays for surrendering something to God.

 

[peacechild4]

Because my situation is unique.. LOL.. kids and all and not being young sigh.. and I don't really go out that much.. I know it has to be a GOD thing.. hee hee a real miracle.. so just constantly looking to GOD.. I have been waiting for years and years and year for the desire of my heart which I thought was one person but may well be someone completely different.. Yes confusing.. Just keep before the LORD.. he knows our hearts.. our hopes.. our desires.. where we are currently in life and if we look to HIM.. it will work out.. and we will get there.. if I can do this... anyone can..

 

[SpiritualAntiseptic]

Ok i know many of you have been waiting for your soul mate a lot longer then I have.

But ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

ok, feel a little better

I have finally resigned myself to waiting for his best. And I have a growing list of must haves...


Like he has to love God and obey him

He has to be faithful (not just sexually but can't be checking out women while we are together)

He has to be honest at all times..

We have to be able to TALK and resolve problems. I have figured out that the quiet types and withdrawing from conflict DOES NOT work for me.

And we have to get along and connect... i think my list will grow even more over time. I've never been picky before but I think it's a good idea.

So I'm waiting on the lord and trying to focus on his life lessons and letting him grow me day by day.

I just hope he brings me that man soon. I could use the companionship.

HB

It is easy to create the perfect mate all the while expecting God to deliver that person to you.

But the world doesn't work that way. No person will ever meet your criteria. There is no such person as a soul mate. A partner in marriage is someone that you love, but annoys you much of the time. A spouse never lives up to the standards that you expected. This means that you can either accept them as they are, or live a life and marriage of bitterness for not meeting your standards.

It is also convenient to expect God to deliver a person for you. As though one could wait around and God will someone drop the perfect mate that He wanted for you into your life.

The truth is, that we are all human beings, with unique qualities that never sync up perfectly with another person. A spouse isn't the perfect person for us that falls out of the sky. They are a flawed human being that shares in our flawed humanity and there is an enormous amount of love in accepting that person as they are. Love isn't living happily ever after. Love is sacrifice and seeing another person as valuable despite their differences.

If someone wants a spouse, then they need to make him or herself available. It is easy enough to expect God to work miracles and then makes excuses for one's lack of marriage.

 

[Rhye]

It is easy to create the perfect mate all the while expecting God to deliver that person to you.

But the world doesn't work that way. No person will ever meet your criteria. There is no such person as a soul mate. A partner in marriage is someone that you love, but annoys you much of the time. A spouse never lives up to the standards that you expected. This means that you can either accept them as they are, or live a life and marriage of bitterness for not meeting your standards.

It is also convenient to expect God to deliver a person for you. As though one could wait around and God will someone drop the perfect mate that He wanted for you into your life.

The truth is, that we are all human beings, with unique qualities that never sync up perfectly with another person. A spouse isn't the perfect person for us that falls out of the sky. They are a flawed human being that shares in our flawed humanity and there is an enormous amount of love in accepting that person as they are. Love isn't living happily ever after. Love is sacrifice and seeing another person as valuable despite their differences.

If someone wants a spouse, then they need to make him or herself available. It is easy enough to expect God to work miracles and then makes excuses for one's lack of marriage.

I really like what he said.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Hisblood,

I was right where you are except that I had divorced a very abusive husband and realizing that I had always picked losers, resigned myself to being alone. I said, "I don't care if I never marry again, it's just You and me, Jesus. You are my husband now." And I truly did follow through with that. For nearly three years, Jesus was my one and only love - the lover of my soul - my soul mate - my husband. At the end of three years, I began to feel that longing again for a physical soul mate and prayed for God to send me the man of his choice. Losers came out of the woodwork - I guess Satan sent those men, but I had grown so strong in the Lord by then that I saw and understood God was not in them. Then, God sent my true husband. Within 30 minutes of our meeting each other, God told him, "This is your wife." Four days later, God told me, "He is going to be your husband." We were married 3 months later and have been serving Christ together in ministry for 17 years.

The waiting can become a wonderful experience... a path of glory and confidence-building. It can be life-changing. If you must wait anyway, make the most of the waiting... maybe what I did made things happen quicker? I don't know, but I know what God did in me and for me. I hope the same - even better and greater things for you.

Father, give my sister the love of a life time - the husband who is like spun gold - a great gift. Cling to her, Lord and draw her near as she searches and waits - help her faith and strengthen her in Jesus name. Amen.


Isaiah 54:5
"For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth."

This is exactly where i'm at, and the lord is starting to teach me about what the right guy is, speaking of bringing losers out of the woodwork, yup so far that's been my experience. I am trying to make him my all right now. I just hope that my wait wont take years, but what choice do I have? except to wait on the lord if I want his best. Thanks

I want someone to serve the lord with

 

[hisbloodformysins]

The worst part I run into is God already let me date my soulmate. She was not only a 10 in the looks, but she is also one of my best friends. I managed to mess up a long distance relationship though because it was my first relationship and I didn't believe in God at the time.

It makes me wonder if God will ever send me a second soulmate which is sad.

Yeah I feel like i lost my soul mate too, twice. But something that comes to mind that I heard a long time ago is

Right person, wrong time, means wrong person. Hope that helps. God can bring the right person to you.

It seems that the men I have truly fallen in love with were unstable and just not able to be there in a consistant way. I trust that the right person will be there til the end, and we'll still be best friends and soul mates.