How important are looks for establishing a relationship?

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I'm speaking also about how a man's looks influence a woman's attraction to him. I used to feel angry at God for why I had terrible luck with dating (24 and never been in a relationship) until I did some deep thinking and figured that most of the time I wanted to date, I was overweight and very unkempt. When I had my bouts of healthy weight before plateauing (recently 6 months ago) I saw many girls who looked at me with flirty smiles and got close to me while talking.

Basically, I'm seeking out fellow Christians who had the same experience with weight loss and dating success as I am convinced that looks matter a great deal. Overall, I know that the right woman will come in God's timing which could hinge on factors like health and stability.

This is considering the person in question has a nice personality and no criminal record.
 

Jonaitis

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For Christians, I think this should be one of the last things we should care about. I speak as someone who has been in several relationships, and almost potential ones, with women who were not physically attractive to me at first sight. After I established a bond with some of these women, the "inner person of the heart" began to blossom out and gave me fresh eyes on their appearances. They became more attractive to the eyes than all the women I had ever thought were attractive based on their looks. Due to the financial instability, future uncertainty, and other issues these relationships fell apart. I am only 23, and so I don't feel like I'm ready for that great commitment and responsibility yet.
 
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Sabertooth

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blackribbon

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I'm speaking also about how a man's looks influence a woman's attraction to him. I used to feel angry at God for why I had terrible luck with dating (24 and never been in a relationship) until I did some deep thinking and figured that most of the time I wanted to date, I was overweight and very unkempt. When I had my bouts of healthy weight before plateauing (recently 6 months ago) I saw many girls who looked at me with flirty smiles and got close to me while talking.

Basically, I'm seeking out fellow Christians who had the same experience with weight loss and dating success as I am convinced that looks matter a great deal. Overall, I know that the right woman will come in God's timing which could hinge on factors like health and stability.

This is considering the person in question has a nice personality and no criminal record.

Overweight and unkempt say more initially about your personality than your looks. They tend to give the impression of "lazy" and not that motivated. You are most likely to attract women who tend to be lazy, unmotivated, and not care that much about their looks. Looks are what get you the dates...and that just means that the other person finds you attractive. Your personality is what cause a relationship to build or crash. There are plenty of overweight men who do attract women but it takes the women having a reason to get to know them first.
 
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barefeetonholyground

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Looks are important, and no, it's not shallow. It's just the truth.
No, it is not the only or most important factor.
When it gets to that point then it gets shallow.
 
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Valtan1

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I've never been in a relationship and I'm 25, I've tried getting to know some girls but I was told straight up (a few times) that I'm not attractive. Weight is not an issue and my style of clothes is good, but it's just my face. And girls don't want anything to do with me if they deem me unattractive...

I find like 80% of girls attractive so I guess I'm not the pickiest guy.
 
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Sabertooth

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I was told straight up (a few times) that I'm not attractive.
There is no standard for "unattractive," just as there is no standard for "attractive." As long as you maintain your health and are reasonably sociable (and active), you will be attractive to a certain subset of women. Remember, your ancestor --who looked like you-- found a mate...!

Get involved in church activities and clubs that fit you. Don't strive to find a mate, but being involved, socially, exposes you to a larger group of people, and you already have something in common with them.
 
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barefeetonholyground

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There is no standard for "unattractive," just as there is no standard for "attractive." As long as you maintain your health and are reasonably sociable (and active), you will be attractive to a certain subset of women. Remember, your ancestor --who looked like you-- found a mate...!

Get involved in church activities and clubs that fit you. Don't strive to find a mate, but being involved, socially, exposes you to a larger group of people, and you already have something in common with them.
Very true.
My husband didn't get many responses to his online dating profile.
However I could tell that he's an attractive guy but not very photogenic.
In real life, the man gets checked out a LOT.
And what sabertooth said, get involved.
Your hobbies, interests, involvement in church, education, etc, make you just as attractive as your looks.
Women love a well-established, solid man.
 
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Valtan1

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There is no standard for "unattractive," just as there is no standard for "attractive." As long as you maintain your health and are reasonably sociable (and active), you will be attractive to a certain subset of women. Remember, your ancestor --who looked like you-- found a mate...!

Get involved in church activities and clubs that fit you. Don't strive to find a mate, but being involved, socially, exposes you to a larger group of people, and you already have something in common with them.

Yeah, thanks for that. And I'd like to find a church group that's social as well, some church groups don't do activities.
 
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sunshine100

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For Christians, I think this should be one of the last things we should care about. I speak as someone who has been in several relationships, and almost potential ones, with women who were not physically attractive to me at first sight. After I established a bond with some of these women, the "inner person of the heart" began to blossom out and gave me fresh eyes on their appearances. They became more attractive to the eyes than all the women I had ever thought were attractive based on their looks. Due to the financial instability, future uncertainty, and other issues these relationships fell apart. I am only 23, and so I don't feel like I'm ready for that great commitment and responsibility yet.
For Christians, I think this should be one of the last things we should care about. I speak as someone who has been in several relationships, and almost potential ones, with women who were not physically attractive to me at first sight. After I established a bond with some of these women, the "inner person of the heart" began to blossom out and gave me fresh eyes on their appearances. They became more attractive to the eyes than all the women I had ever thought were attractive based on their looks. Due to the financial instability, future uncertainty, and other issues these relationships fell apart. I am only 23, and so I don't feel like I'm ready for that great commitment and responsibility yet.
I agree about the looks part,it is not about the looks,it is about how the person treats other people,and it is about having a good heart.
 
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