The problem is, how can we have free will and God still be totally 100% omniscient from the very beginning or before the beginning of all things...?
That's the problem...
Did I make a free will decision to say, post this right now...? I mean, I might not have done so, right...? Wasn't that "my choice", or my decision...?
Or was there millions to billions (or more), "pre-cursors" or "pre-existing conditions" that caused me to either do, or decide so, or not decide so...? Chemical/biological precursors, and/or reactions or factors going on within me (in my mind/brain and/or heart/feelings) that dictated that decision, or any and all decisions...? Or not...?
And if it is, or if it were, basically, making my decisions for me, would not God know all of it/that, from way, way long before that, all the way back to the beginning of all and time, the universe, ect... Or not...?
It may seem on the surface that we are making decisions for and of and from ourselves, but, is that "really the case" or not...?
God Bless!
Now, I was (or maybe still am, IDK?) trying, or was trying to "break free" from all of "this", cause something about me or in me just doesn't like the idea at all... Of being "predictable by anyone", including God... (just being honest)...
But I don't know if that is possible or not...? I've even (in the past) tried to do things, and sometimes some not very good things (for me), "on purpose" to "prove it" (that I was free from and not a part of all of "this") back when God (or a god), was trying to show me that he clearly and fully "could" and did know everything about me, all my decisions/feeling/choices/actions ect... And, that "struggle" cause me all kinds of hell and/or problems and took me down some roads I never wished I would have went down at all in the first place...
But God has clearly shown me he already knew about it all, all those choices and decisions I was making just to try and prove that it was me, and that I actually was making free-will choices and decisions, when he showed me clearly that I was just "not"...
Now, maybe it was "rebellion", but "something about me" just doesn't like the idea at all, even if it's only just God, or a god, and or the "god's" or angels...
I've been able to eliminate things from my past, childhood, past hurts, past issues, past baggage, ect, from having much, if any "influence" on me (or my choices and decisions now) (I think)... But "current" thoughts dictated by feelings/emotions, and millions to billions of precursor chemical reactions and biological and environmental factors within me, that affect me from within me, that do influence greatly all of my thoughts/feelings/emotions/actions/reactions, ect, that each and all greatly influence, and possibly all dictate, all of my decisions, choices, ect, and other "following it/that (just mentioned) actions/reactions ect, in the "now", that I don't think I am completely free of yet, (it/that/those) and I wonder if I will ever be free of it/them...
I have found out God knows them (all) and can and does "predict" them all, like a mathematical formula/equation/program, ect... He knows "it/them all" and can fully predict it/them all...
One of my friends was telling me how he thought he didn't belong here, cause he said he wasn't a part of this world, which/and he also mentioned, and I mentioned to him, was like the "Matrix" (He's a big fan of the Matrix movies)... And I told him, that I hated to say it (cause I know he still has a lot of issues from his past and childhood, especially his Dad that he lives with, that go back to early childhood)...
Anyway, I told him that I didn't want to say it, but I told him he was still very much a part of the "Matrix" or this world... And told him if he wanted to "get free" (of it/that/this), he was going to have to (cause he's getting set up with a counselor now) that he was going to have to go all the way back to his early childhood, and seek to understand himself through it or by it, and everything leading or that led up to "now' or this point in his life, he was going to have to back, maybe starting at "all the way back" (as a starting point) and "resolve" (or solve) all of his "past issues/baggage" before he even ever got close to being free from the "Matrix" and/or being a part of this world, or it's system...
And I told him, because, just like in the movie, he was still letting and allowing the world, and/or "Matrix"; that he was still allowing "it" to tell him, or dictate to him, or still greatly influence "who he was or is or are", and/or how he acted and/or behaved, ect...
I told him that up to now, he was still stuck in it and was very much still a part of it... But told him that a counselor, or his counselor that he was getting set up with, could or should be able to help him greatly with that...
He didn't like it, but I don't think he could deny it either...
And I see so very many people still stuck in it, and as much as "even I" have tried to get free of it, or break free of it, I am still "not completely free of it" yet... And although I don't allow any of the past to influence me very much at all or very much anymore, there was still the "present" and my environment around me, and "current" things I might feel, and/or "all the chemical and biological factors" going on withing me, and my mind and heart and in my body (or my flesh) was still a problem, as I had to admit, it still influences me sometimes, and still influences me greatly sometimes...
Why do I want to be "completely free of all of it", even to the point where maybe even God doesn't know, or doesn't suspect, or doesn't know what I'm going to do, or not do, in this or that moment next, ect...
I don't know, it's just some kind of "undefinable something" in me... I just hope it's not rebellion...
Anyway,
God Bless!