How do you meet your need for touch?

[blackribbon]

In marriage, I did like touching my husband and his language of love was definitely touch...we held hands a lot, watching tv, in the car, at events, etc...we slept with at least our feet touching and often much more, we kissed hello and good-bye throughout the day....

Outside of marriage, I am not a big touch person. I have to remember to hug my kids...but they both come find a hug before I go to work each night. I do enjoy sitting close to them on the couch watching tv. Other than that, I don't don't touch other people. I have a few friends who initiate hugs and I never turn them down, but I never initiate them. I do hold hands with my patients when I talk to them or do a painful procedure. I believe that my touch provides comfort and increases a connection with my patients and we have deeper conversations over their conditions and care.

My primary "happy" touch now come from the cat or the dog.

I would love to have a "significant" other again to have intimate touch ... but that is a different need...that is a need for intimacy, not touch. A stranger or casual acquaintance could never meet this need. This is a need for connection.

How do other singles meet their need for touch? And does this meet your need for touch?

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

From the dog or cat. And they aren't even my pets.

Oh and I touch myself a lot too. So there's that. /thumbsup

 

[MehGuy]

I don't think I really have a need for physical contact. Even as a baby/toddler the healthcare workers noticed that I liked to be left alone and didn't like being hugged.

 

[exitstageright]

In marriage, I did like touching my husband and his language of love was definitely touch...we held hands a lot, watching tv, in the car, at events, etc...we slept with at least our feet touching and often much more, we kissed hello and good-bye throughout the day....

Outside of marriage, I am not a big touch person. I have to remember to hug my kids...but they both come find a hug before I go to work each night. I do enjoy sitting close to them on the couch watching tv. Other than that, I don't don't touch other people. I have a few friends who initiate hugs and I never turn them down, but I never initiate them. I do hold hands with my patients when I talk to them or do a painful procedure. I believe that my touch provides comfort and increases a connection with my patients and we have deeper conversations over their conditions and care.

My primary "happy" touch now come from the cat or the dog.

I would love to have a "significant" other again to have intimate touch ... but that is a different need...that is a need for intimacy, not touch. A stranger or casual acquaintance could never meet this need. This is a need for connection.

How do other singles meet their need for touch? And does this meet your need for touch?

By going to Cuddle Parties. Cuddle Parties, however are "Plan B" Now,I would love to have a SO to cuddle, to snuggle,and to hold hands with. That would be "Plan A".Since plan "A" is not working,I have no alternative but to use plan "B".

There a lady who "Friend Zoned" me. However,every time that I came to see her,or when she came to see me(we were both unemployed at the time),she would request a foot massage from me. She told me that she really enjoys my foot massages. Truly , when I am massaging a woman's feet,while watching T.V. and/ or a DVD,it relaxes me as well.This type of touch makes me feel.....wanted, appreciated, and......alive!

 

[PokerFaceBlonde]

It's not being fulfilled, actually. I've been single a few years now and am surprised at how much I am affected by the touch of a waitress or when I get my hair cut. Not a sexual thing, but rather a human connection thing.

Reminds me of how much humans need touch.

But I refuse to enter into a relationship that isn't Godly just because I need the physical intimacy.

 

[salt-n-light]

In marriage, I did like touching my husband and his language of love was definitely touch...we held hands a lot, watching tv, in the car, at events, etc...we slept with at least our feet touching and often much more, we kissed hello and good-bye throughout the day....

Outside of marriage, I am not a big touch person. I have to remember to hug my kids...but they both come find a hug before I go to work each night. I do enjoy sitting close to them on the couch watching tv. Other than that, I don't don't touch other people. I have a few friends who initiate hugs and I never turn them down, but I never initiate them. I do hold hands with my patients when I talk to them or do a painful procedure. I believe that my touch provides comfort and increases a connection with my patients and we have deeper conversations over their conditions and care.

My primary "happy" touch now come from the cat or the dog.

I would love to have a "significant" other again to have intimate touch ... but that is a different need...that is a need for intimacy, not touch. A stranger or casual acquaintance could never meet this need. This is a need for connection.

How do other singles meet their need for touch? And does this meet your need for touch?

It hasn't been my priority,to be touch like that. In my younger years, and probably up til a few months ago, I know how that felt like, the intimacy and sweetness.But it had also served me as beer googles sometimes and I mistaken those moments as much as a need as air. If someone is not loving me like that, then I'm unfulfilled, I dont get the same adoration with others, which is more of an appreciation type of touch. But now, Im already emotionally being fulfilled with being close with God, everything else is an icing on the cake. And that's probably why I haven't been struggling much lately. I'm not close to that being a possibility, doing it right, and having a husband and being touched intimately, when it happens it will be glorious, but it's not in the forefront of my thoughts.

But that's probably why its a struggle for you, because you are desiring a husband to be able to release that tension, to be adored. That's in the forefront of your thoughts. So it helps to ask why are you desiring intimacy? What about it you feel would fulfill you? And then see how that would change if you were to put God in the forefront of your thoughts. If you delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart.

 

[quietpraiyze]

The Presence of the Lord is absolutely wonderful in making me full. I lack nothing and want for nothing in His Presence. It's amazing how His Presence just makes everything right...

Pillows...lots and lots of pillows. Pillows on the bed...on the couches...on the floor, in the chair, etc. Pillows are so inviting and comforting to me and they seem to be that way for others. Everyone just seems to enjoy laying on them, puffing them up, or laying them just so, and they're so resilient. I like spaces that I can live in...

I lay a hand on my stomach underneath my clothes. For some reason that comforts me...

 

[salt-n-light]

The Presence of the Lord is absolutely wonderful in making me full. I lack nothing and want for nothing in His Presence. It's amazing how His Presence just makes everything right...

Pillows...lots and lots of pillows. Pillows on the bed...on the couches...on the floor. Pillows are so inviting and comforting to me and they seem to be that way for others. Everyone just seems to enjoy laying on them, puffing them up, or laying them just so, and they're so resilient. I like spaces that I can live in...

I lay a hand on my stomach underneath my clothes. For some reason that comforts me...

Yes! Pillows! and fluffy sheets!

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

By going to Cuddle Parties. Cuddle Parties, however are "Plan B" Now,I would love to have a SO to cuddle, to snuggle,and to hold hands with. That would be "Plan A".Since plan "A" is not working,I have no alternative but to use plan "B".

There a lady who "Friend Zoned" me. However,every time that I came to see her,or when she came to see me(we were both unemployed at the time),she would request a foot massage from me. She told me that she really enjoys my foot massages. Truly , when I am massaging a woman's feet,while watching T.V. and/ or a DVD,it relaxes me as well.This type of touch makes me feel.....wanted, appreciated, and......alive!

What is a Cuddle Party? I mean, I get the gist (from what you've described) but tell me more.

 

[dreadnought]

In marriage, I did like touching my husband and his language of love was definitely touch...we held hands a lot, watching tv, in the car, at events, etc...we slept with at least our feet touching and often much more, we kissed hello and good-bye throughout the day....

Outside of marriage, I am not a big touch person. I have to remember to hug my kids...but they both come find a hug before I go to work each night. I do enjoy sitting close to them on the couch watching tv. Other than that, I don't don't touch other people. I have a few friends who initiate hugs and I never turn them down, but I never initiate them. I do hold hands with my patients when I talk to them or do a painful procedure. I believe that my touch provides comfort and increases a connection with my patients and we have deeper conversations over their conditions and care.

My primary "happy" touch now come from the cat or the dog.

I would love to have a "significant" other again to have intimate touch ... but that is a different need...that is a need for intimacy, not touch. A stranger or casual acquaintance could never meet this need. This is a need for connection.

How do other singles meet their need for touch? And does this meet your need for touch?

I'm not aware I have any need to touch anyone.

 

[CodyFaith]

I don't really have a need per-se. I mean I have a desire to have a gf/eventually wife and have touch with each other, but I'm also perfectly content without it. I like anyone else do get sad and lonely and desire a hug from a significant other or other things, but it's not the lack of touch really but the lack of person in my life to love in that way.
I will say though I was on a date a few weeks ago and it was our second date, and we were cuddling/hugging/holding hands and such and I realized just how much I missed that and how much I missed a woman in my life. It helped me get motivated and encouraged to start dating again.

 

[blackribbon]

By going to Cuddle Parties. Cuddle Parties, however are "Plan B" Now,I would love to have a SO to cuddle, to snuggle,and to hold hands with. That would be "Plan A".Since plan "A" is not working,I have no alternative but to use plan "B".

There a lady who "Friend Zoned" me. However,every time that I came to see her,or when she came to see me(we were both unemployed at the time),she would request a foot massage from me. She told me that she really enjoys my foot massages. Truly , when I am massaging a woman's feet,while watching T.V. and/ or a DVD,it relaxes me as well.This type of touch makes me feel.....wanted, appreciated, and......alive!

Is this a need for intimacy...or a need for touch? Could the touch need also be met by volunteering to be a church greeter or befriending people at a retirement home or skilled nursing facility. Could you volunteer to be a mentor for a boy with no father figure in his life and appreciate the hugs that would go with that?

 

[blackribbon]

But that's probably why its a struggle for you, because you are desiring a husband to be able to release that tension, to be adored. That's in the forefront of your thoughts. So it helps to ask why are you desiring intimacy? What about it you feel would fulfill you? And then see how that would change if you were to put God in the forefront of your thoughts. If you delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart.

It isn't a struggle most of the time so much as just a huge void. Intimacy is more than touch...and isn't the same thing. I can reach a certain amount of intimacy with female friends but life seems to be fluid right now and people drift both in and out of my life...along with some physical pain issues that make it so I don't go out of the house much except to go to work.

I am not sure what you mean putting God in the forefront of my thoughts. I have a relationship with God...I talk to him about the pain and the loneliness and work and parenting...and the list goes on. It isn't the same as having a relationship with a husband and shouldn't be. I feel the void because I had intimacy with my husband and now I don't.

And what do you mean, "if I delight in Him, I will get the desires of my heart". Does that mean that somehow I did something wrong with God and that is why my husband died and I am living a life that is so far from being what I desired? I do believe that my life as it is part of God's big plan but I do not believe that God always gives us what we want...at least on this side of death.

God knows the desires of my heart ... but that doesn't mean that I will get them. Sometimes the prayer has to be "please God, change the desires of my heart to in line with your plan."

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I'm a very huggy person. When I hug people (except for people that give me the creeps) I give them a full embrace.

 

[MehGuy]

I hate it when people give me hugs. Especially when they know I don't like it, yet do it anyways..

I'd never go to a cuddle party.. that sounds awful.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

I hate it when people give me hugs. Especially when they know I don't like it, yet do it anyways..

I'd never go to a cuddle party.. that sounds awful.

What.is.a.cuddle.party? Lol

 

[MehGuy]

What.is.a.cuddle.party? Lol

A place where people cuddle.. usually they have sleeping bags and soft pillows. I think sometimes they have to pay to get in.. I don't know.. watched a documentary about it long ago. Usually filled with neckbeards and neckbeardenias.

 

[salt-n-light]

It isn't a struggle most of the time so much as just a huge void. Intimacy is more than touch...and isn't the same thing. I can reach a certain amount of intimacy with female friends but life seems to be fluid right now and people drift both in and out of my life...along with some physical pain issues that make it so I don't go out of the house much except to go to work.

I am not sure what you mean putting God in the forefront of my thoughts. I have a relationship with God...I talk to him about the pain and the loneliness and work and parenting...and the list goes on. It isn't the same as having a relationship with a husband and shouldn't be. I feel the void because I had intimacy with my husband and now I don't.

And what do you mean, "if I delight in Him, I will get the desires of my heart". Does that mean that somehow I did something wrong with God and that is why my husband died and I am living a life that is so far from being what I desired? I do believe that my life as it is part of God's big plan but I do not believe that God always gives us what we want...at least on this side of death.

God knows the desires of my heart ... but that doesn't mean that I will get them. Sometimes the prayer has to be "please God, change the desires of my heart to in line with your plan."

Ah sorry to hear that, my condolences.

Well, that gives a little more context because me dealing with singleness and the void within that, is not the same as the void experienced by a widow. I don't know if my answer then would suffice, because there is another level of grief on top of that, that I don't necessarily relate to nor can I say that I know what that is like.

I can only speak from someone who saw how my sister dealt with that when she lost her husband and the things I've observed in her contentment in singledom. The only pressing thing is that she did draw herself alot closer to God, especially in the nighttime, and filled her time servicing others along the way, to provide a human connection. Its not the same, but if you were to ask if she desires remarriage or intimacy, she would say that she is content with just having God as her husband. She eventually had patience and trust with God, which decline the times when she burst into tears in the nights the first year i had to share a bed with her (which I guess if you do live with a family member or sister, that helps).

 

[blackribbon]

Ah sorry to hear that, my condolences.

Well, that gives a little more context because me dealing with singleness and the void within that, is not the same as the void experienced by a widow. I don't know if my answer then would suffice, because there is another level of grief on top of that, that I don't necessarily relate to nor can I say that I know what that is like.

I can only speak from someone who saw how my sister dealt with that when she lost her husband and the things I've observed in her contentment in singledom. The only pressing thing is that she did draw herself alot closer to God, especially in the nighttime, and filled her time servicing others along the way, to provide a human connection. Its not the same, but if you were to ask if she desires remarriage or intimacy, she would say that she is content with just having God as her husband. She eventually had patience and trust with God, which decline the times when she burst into tears in the nights the first year i had to share a bed with her (which I guess if you do live with a family member or sister, that helps).

Just a little insight, the bouts of tears decline but not the sense of loss. I am almost 10 years out. I have become a nurse and do find serving other people in crisis to help. It can also be totally overwhelming. People who know me probably think I am content living life im singledom. It is probably just me trusting that life is temporary and that even in the loneliness that God is in charge.

 

[blackribbon]

What.is.a.cuddle.party? Lol

http://www.cuddleparty.com/