How do you make a woman feel dignified/special

[Da_Funkey_Gibbon]

That's pretty essential for men. We (or at least I) generally tend to not want to verbalize very much. That's a problem I have with my mom. Whenever I visit home, I just want to relax, but she is non-stop questions. Sometimes (and I know this is bad), I end up saying something like, "Enough questions already!"

All mums are like that then. Figures.

 

[MikeK]

I'll occasionally watch the stupid boring fictional movies or sitcoms that she seems to think are entertaining or funny, often without falling asleep.

I buy her stuff that I think she'll like, but probably not often enough.

I take her on dates at least twice a week, we do something special with just the two of us, no kids, no talk of work or bills or whatever. Good wine, people watching, good food, etc. She is the most important person in my life and there would be no excuse for me to treat her as anything less than that. Our time together is important, it isn't something that should get penciled in when time perits, but rather it is what everything else gets penciled in arround.

I listen to her long, drawn out boring stories about her day, her family, her friends, he coworkers, etc. I don't subject her to the same.

I get up at night with the kids and tend to their needs and rock them back to sleep. I see to it that she gets more sleep than I do.

I keep myself in shape for her, and keep clean and neat. I will not allow myself to gain weight or lose muscle tone. If only my hairline would quit receding I seek to maintain my body so as to be attractive to her physically and increase my chances of being healthy for her and our children for as many years as possible.

I make her things - the sleigh bed she wanted since she was a child, all of our living room furniture, etc.

I don't open doors for her, or take her coat or order food for her. She sees those actions as silly antiquated gestures. Instead I make sure that I am always there to promptly take care of any unpleasant tasks that come up arround the house. Plumbing, electrical, roofing, car repairs, heating/AC etc. For her and our children I strive to be a master at nearly every trade, so that we never have to hire an outsider to do work for us - I don't expect that anyone would have a higher regard for the living conditions of my wife and children than I do, so I strive to know it all and do it all. She appreciates that.

I trust her to do whatever she wants whenever she wants. I encourage her to go out and have a few drinks with her friends now and then. She does not need my permision to do anything.

We go to alot of concerts, and I see to it that she's shielded by me when the elboys start flying. She likes to be in the middle of things but likes to feel like someone is watching out for her and protecting her too.

In return she lets me waste money on my hobbies that she has no interest in-drums, guitars, antique vehicles, antique guns, boats, fishing trips etc without complaint. I try to make sure that my hobbies brings in more money than they cost. She never complains when I take time to do my thing and respects my need to be alone and concentrate on my projects or my reading. she waits on me hand and foot when I'm sick and whiney and never reminds me that she's way tougher than I am. She's fine with me going out at night when she goes to bed early and never worries about where I am or who I'm with. We don't always understand what makes eachother tick or why we like the things we do, but we have learned to appreciate eachother for the unique people that we are. We push eachother and we make eachother better. I am not a great husband but she seems to think I am. It works for us.

 

[skatepixie]

I really think its the little things.

Holding doors, being polite, etc.

Guys, that stuff is manditory for all ladies you encounter.

Also, esp when you're in a relationship, complements that are genuine and heartfelt.

Don't order food, however, it is highly embarassing when one has to explain all of their dietary restrictions on the first date. LOL.

 

[Caedmon]

As far as doing things for women to make them feel special, I don't know that I can comment with any authority, since I've never been in a really serious relationship. I do try to remember girls' names though ( ), or at least things they like. Case in point, I ate lunch with a group of friends a few weeks ago, and I talked to a nice girl, and she mentioned she liked The Princess Bride, so I let loose of a whole bunch of quotes from the movie. This week I saw her again, and I had to ask her her name because I'd forgotten ( ), but I did mention that I remembered she likes The Princess Bride. As I was walking out of the building, I just happened to stand around a bit, looked back, and I caught her looking at me just before I went out the door. Then again, she might have been just looking in my general direction because that's the way she was standing before, who knows.

 

[colleen]

Joe, that girl sounds nice. Have you talked to her since?

 

[Globalnomad]

You know everyone, I think we are beginning to confuse "making a woman feel special" with "common politeness to a human being I am in close everyday contact with". Sharing chores, listening to each other, deferring to the other person's wishes half the time, being sensitive to his/her concerns, showing interest in what they do... that's not "making a woman feel special", that's just basic human relationship. You'd do these things (I hope) with your fellow PFCs in the barracks.

 

[Caedmon]

Joe, that girl sounds nice. Have you talked to her since?

No, maybe at mass today though. She wears a mantilla.

 

[colleen]

She wears a mantilla...I like her already! Try talking to he after mass. I'm sure she would enjoy an upstanding
Catholic man talking to her.

 

[holyorders]

I don't really need to be made to feel special as a woman all the time, even by my husband (remember of course that we have been married 20 years!) Regular cuddling, appreciating my cooking and the occasional bouquet of roses does it. That's just basics. (I reciprocate with shutting up when he does not feel communicative, bringing him tea/coffee ten times a day, and other little shows of deference).

What I need is for men to treat me as one of them. No, not "one of the guys" - but "one of us human beings". Listen to what I say, respect my opinions, argue with me intelligently if they don't agree, don' t treat me as a being from another planet. And be comfortable with my female approach to business - I will be more emotional in a meeting, I will not be afraid to express intuitions, I will talk about right and wrong more often, rather than what is strategically advantageous. To value these differences, never denigrate them.

Men and Women are different though and have different needs/wants. You'd be surprised how much this is true.

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I promised to be serious so here goes:

I will actively show interest in everything she has to say. I mean literally stop all I am doing and pay full attention. (With eye contact- women like eye contact)


As long as reason and the laws of God permit, nothing is ever too foolish or too much to do for a lady. Call me a sucker if you like. A real lady deserves infinite respect.

I'll gleefully take criticism about any aspect of my life.


In other words, if I find the right lady I am going to put all my chips on one number. Real women (that really do exist these days) deserve nothing less.

 

[Globalnomad]

Men and Women are different though and have different needs/wants. You'd be surprised how much this is true.

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I promised to be serious so here goes:

I will actively show interest in everything she has to say. I mean literally stop all I am doing and pay full attention. (With eye contact- women like eye contact)


As long as reason and the laws of God permit, nothing is ever too foolish or too much to do for a lady. Call me a sucker if you like. A real lady deserves infinite respect.

I'll gleefully take criticism about any aspect of my life.


In other words, if I find the right lady I am going to put all my chips on one number. Real women (that really do exist these days) deserve nothing less.

HolyOrders, read my post more carefully. I never said we are not different, in fact I implied that we ARE, when I said I wanted men to acknowledge my special characteristics/contributions. My point is that the differences account for perhaps 10%, but our commonality as intelligent human beings who are able to communicate and understand each other, makes up at least 90%.

And no thank you, I would not want you to do anything foolish for me in order to show me respect. Can't you see how this sentence is LOADED with condescension? What are you saying about women, when you say that foolish actions are needed to win their respect?

Or are you talking about giving flowers and cuddling, and such things? Do you think these are really foolish?

 

[holyorders]

HolyOrders, read my post more carefully. I never said we are not different, in fact I implied that we ARE, when I said I wanted men to acknowledge my special characteristics/contributions. My point is that the differences account for perhaps 10%, but our commonality as intelligent human beings who are able to communicate and understand each other, makes up at least 90%.

And no thank you, I would not want you to do anything foolish for me in order to show me respect. Can't you see how this sentence is LOADED with condescension? What are you saying about women, when you say that foolish actions are needed to win their respect?

Or are you talking about giving flowers and cuddling, and such things? Do you think these are really foolish?

Hah! You question my sincerity!

In all honesty I wasn't trying to be condescending. I was saying that the heart (when properly guided) has no reason involved and is foolishly in love. When I mean foolish I mean no limits. Real unbounded love such as that is very rare. Only what I consider a "real" woman deserves this.

Maybe you have just never met a guy that way?

Or maybe you don't really believe that a man can really be that way?

 

[Globalnomad]

No, HolyOrders, and I am sorry for havign doubted your sincerity. I see that you were using "foolish" in a positive sense, as in "going beyond what is logical". That way, I totally agree with you. In fact, it goes to the heart of the man-woman difference: to validate a woman, a man sometimes has to go beyond the logical, just as, to validate a man, a woman often has to subordinate her intuition and sentimentality to logic.

I will still say that you should not be using the word "foolish" in this context. I won't be the only one to interpret it negatively, in its primary sense of "stupid". And then, the correct reaction is the one I had. No man (or woman) should do something stupid for a woman (or for a man). Oh, I know we often do. But it should not be put forward as something desirable or as a model to follow.

P.S. the personal remarks that you made were neither necessary, nor appropriate, nor, as it happens, true in their implications.

 

[Carrye]

Bumping for Aaron.

 

[PoliticalGuru]

Last year, I got my closest female friend a st. christopher's necklace for her confirmation. Unfortunately, she's never worn it and I don't even know if she still has it. I tried to convince her that it was a tracking device for cute Catholic boys . I wish she would though , she has a pretty neckline for it.

 

[faerieevaH]

Yesterday, my husband gave me a rainbow....

 

[colleen]

Yesterday, my husband gave me a rainbow....

awwwww

 

[faerieevaH]

awwwww

I know... I've been smiling over it now for days. He claims it wasn't him but God, but while God made the rainbow, I know I definitely wouldn't have seen it, if he had not called me to the window, knowing that I just needed to see a rainbow just then.