I reciprocate with shutting up when he does not feel communicative
That's pretty essential for men. We (or at least I) generally tend to not want to verbalize very much. That's a problem I have with my mom. Whenever I visit home, I just want to relax, but she is non-stop questions. Sometimes (and I know this is bad), I end up saying something like, "Enough questions already!"
I used to think that I was a very emotionally expressive person, but I've learned that even if my emotional state is very intense at certain moments, I may not feel like expressing it, esp. when I am in an uncomfortable situation, or depending on who I'm talking to. Or I may express it in other ways, which may come off as being passive-aggressive (which is why you should always be gentle and compassionate with a man who is being stand-off-ish, or at least for me). Holding in emotions isn't always good, because it leads to a lot of pent up negative (or even positive) emotions, and that wreaks havoc on me, emotionally and physically.
I have to be extremely comfortable with whoever I'm around to reveal my thoughts and feelings to them, and that makes me feel like a very closed-off individual (which some people wrongly perceive as me being stuck-up). In fact, sometimes when I get frustrated, I will
intentionally close myself off from the rest of the world, which is OK for a time so that that you can think and recuperate, but if you stay detached from your friends and family for too long, it becomes destructive, which is something I've really had to work on. An analogy I can think of is going out for a night with the guys, versus drinking alone, possibly to the point of alcoholism.
OK, that's kind of off-topic, but there you go, for what it's worth. I will say one more thing though. If a (your) man isn't being very talkative, he may be expressing himself some other way. Look for what he's doing, what he's working on, what music he's listening to, what shows he watches, and just acknowledge him and his interests. Don't patronize him with 20 questions, just find a few little things you
genuinely like about what he does and tell him that you think he's cool. Really, it's not any more complicated than that. For instance, for me, my music is my world. It's how I express myself in a non-self verbal/instrumental way.