How do you know?

[Keri]

How do you know your girlfriend/boyfriend is "the one."

What told you? Was it a verse from God? An answered prayer? A feeling? How do you know?

 

[Hediru]

Little things told me. We were really good friends for awhile before we became a couple, and that was a really good foundation because we got to know each other as individuals first. Other than that, its hard to explain other than that I love just about everything about him. He's just what I've always looked for in a man, and then some. He's sweet, sensitive, very understanding, and I just feel so comfortable and happy when I'm with him.
Something that may or may not help you as well - if God didn't us want to be together, he had plenty of opportunities to split us up. We were LDR for 3 years, he moved to this area and all went great, until he lost his job, but now 2 months later he has another one. I believe that it is impossible to really know if a S/O is "the one" without prayer and direction from God.

 

[septemberskies]

I don't know for sure but i have a hunch that he is "the one". I'm still praying about everything but I think I got my answer already.

 

[Keri]

I feel the same. I think God will let it be known if He wants us with the people we are with, currently. Thanks you all!

 

[Carri20]

How do you know your girlfriend/boyfriend is "the one."

What told you? Was it a verse from God? An answered prayer? A feeling? How do you know?

For me the key was definitely prayer. Before I even met my fiance I asked God to take control of that area of my life and lead me where He wanted me to go, whether it meant I would remain single forever or eventually get married. I put total trust in Him. After that I started getting this uneasy feeling whenever a guy would ask me out, even if he was a Christian and I liked him. I just didn't feel right about it so I couldn't say yes. More than a year went by since I first started praying and there was still no sign of Mr. Right. Then it happened. I met a man and didn't feel uneasy about him. In fact I had a really good feeling about him, but I didn't act on any hunches or feelings because I didn't want to mess up God's plan. So I just prayed again and trusted God, and I let the man make the first move, which he did. Later when he asked me to marry him I knew the answer was yes. I just have this indescribable peace about this decision that only the Holy Spirit can give, and I know I wouldn't have that peace if I hadn't prayed.

(Interesting fact: My fiance also prayed for God's direction in choosing a wife.)

 

[Keri]

That's exactly how I feel! I prayed about it for a while and God brought someone into my life and there are no uneasy feelings or "red-flags" going up and I'm looking forward to building the relationship and continue getting to know him. I'm going to continue to pray for God's will in the relationship as well.

 

[Carri20]

Awesome!

 

[superfly]

there's no such thing as "the one"

read Guidance and the Voice of God and then The Relationships Revolution. these two books are essential reads for all christians!

basically, if you make the right decisions in your day to day life as a christian, then when you choose a spouse, they will be the "right one" for you, because you've chosen someone that God approves of.
(that's a brief run down of Guidance and the voice of God)

however, if you have all the above right AND you've got someone who really loves you for who you are, and has your best interests at heart, then i'd say you have a real gem, and to go for it!

 

[Carri20]

there's no such thing as "the one"

That depends on your definition of "the one". For me it means that there is one man out there who would be my best possible match, who I'm not likely to find unless I seek guidance from God. When you get married, your spouse becomes "the one" whether he/she is your best possible match or not. My plan of action was to ask God to link me up with my best possible match so that he would be "the one" instead of some other guy, therefore I refer to my best possible match as "the one" even before marriage because, frankly, the plan of action worked.

 

[charligirl]

There were a number of areas that I had to check out to see if I was really hearing from God, I fond many christians look for a 'sign' and then can easily interpret just about any co-incidence as that sign. That's not to say that God does not use supernatural signs, of course He does, but they should not be your only guidance.

Prayer should be your first priority, I got up early every day for a month and dedicated time to pray just about this once I had met someone.

Advice from trusted elders/parents/pastors/friends should also be listened to. Of course that is a small part of it, but I know that I have been saved from a couple of near misses from listening to the wise councel of others who had my best interests at heart but were not blinded by 'love' as I was, and could point out issues I could not see.

Are they a good match spiritually? where is your faith at? what is their calling, and yours? if you know you are called to China and they to Africa.. then perhaps they are not God's best for you.

Does it add up with scriptural guidance? are you equally yoked? women, is he prepared to die for you as Christ was for the church? Men, does she support and uphold you?

Do you have peace about it? This is the biggy for me, the Holy Spirit dwells in you, do you have His peace deep down as a bedrock? or is there a nagging pull of something not quite right despite what the circumstances seem to say?

 

[ChildOfGod20]

definitely pray about it and ask God. for me i asked God for a sign and he gave me one. i doubted it and asked for another, which he gave me. for my boyfriend, God told him after a few days of praying about it.

 

[ChildOfGod20]

i think when she says "the one" she means "the one" God has chosen for her. and in that case, yes there is such thing as "the one"

 

[Keri]

Yes, ChildOfGod20, that is what I meant when I said, "the one."

Thank you all for your counsel. I'll go and check out those books too.

 

[leidulf]

Let me quote somthing I copied from a forum somewhere sometime (maype christianforums.. don't remember..)

For me, it sort of went through a couple different phases. First off, there was asking "could I see myself marrying this person". That was before we started dating, because I would not date someone I couldn't see myself marrying. Then, there was asking "would I like to marry this person". Then saying, "I want to marry this person", and finally, "I can't imagine not marrying this person". (I'm marrying "this person" in 7 months... yippee!)

 

[Moluku]

Prayer is key to knowing someone is the one. There are other things as well. Things you ask and find out about that will otherwise make or break a relationship. And asking yourself...will I want to see this person everyday for the rest of my life? Can I live without them, or am I satisfied with where I am in the long run.

I have spent time in prayer and getting to know the guy I have come to love and care for so deeply. We both have the same priorties, asked questions, pray pray and pray. And there are certain things we know we won't compromise on and other areas where we are more willing. We've gone over what will make us strong or tear us apart. We continue to draw closer, know each other better, and love the other more deeply with each passing day. He's the most wonderful part of my life outside God, and I hope to spend my life with him as time progresses.

 

[Briseis]

Well, I am not married or engaged, so I dont really know, but I do know, lol, if you get it. I know my bf is the one. I would call it a feeling. Most of all I think I know because I cannot imagine anyone being as great as him. I think of how we get along, and try to imagine how there could ever be anyone else so perfect for me, and I cant. I cant imagine there ever being anyone else. That is how I know, because if we broke up, I would never find anyone like him. So I will not let him get away. And I would love to see him every day for the rest of my life.