How do you know if someone is right for you?

Far Side Of the Moon

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In talking to a guy I really, REALLY like, and he likes me too... But I feel I fall too short for him. I'm not that confident and I'm still getting myself together ,while he imo, is where he needs to be for his age.(in actually a year older than him)

I always felt, for me personally...if there is a "one/the one" for me... I would never be nervous around them, I'd be comfortable around them and I can trust them with all of me,,my darkest secrets and my anxiety, having alopecia. Basically for me, if feel like I can be an open book.

What do you think? Is this true ? How did you know your gf/bf was the one?

I feel like the guy I'm talking to is great, I feel he'd be the one for me if I were ready for him. :/
 
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PropheticTimes

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In talking to a guy I real REALKY like, and he likes me too... But I feel I fall too short for him. I'm not that confident and I'm still getting myself together ,while he imo, is where he needs to be for his age.

I always felt, for me personally...if there is a "one/the one" for me... I would never be nervous around them, I'd be comfortable around them and I can trust them with all of me,,my darkest secrets and my anxiety, having alopecia. Basically for me, if feel like I can be an open book.

What do you think? Is this true ? How did you know your gf/bf was the one?

I feel like the guy I'm talking to is great, I feel he'd be the one for me if I were ready for him. :/

Don't sell yourself short. There must be something about you that draws him to you. Why not give it a try?
Don't spend your life looking for "the perfect one", because no one is perfect and we grow through each relationship we have.
 
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Bluerose31

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In talking to a guy I real REALKY like, and he likes me too... But I feel I fall too short for him. I'm not that confident and I'm still getting myself together ,while he imo, is where he needs to be for his age.

I always felt, for me personally...if there is a "one/the one" for me... I would never be nervous around them, I'd be comfortable around them and I can trust them with all of me,,my darkest secrets and my anxiety, having alopecia. Basically for me, if feel like I can be an open book.

What do you think? Is this true ? How did you know your gf/bf was the one?

I feel like the guy I'm talking to is great, I feel he'd be the one for me if I were ready for him. :/
Hi Moon :) Id say take your time. He sounds like a great guy :) Id say take your time and enjoy his company and if it is meant to be it will develop into something more than friends.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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Don't sell yourself short. There must be something about you that draws him to you. Why not give it a try?
Don't spend your life looking for "the perfect one", because no one is perfect and we grow through each relationship we have.
I don't think I look for a perfect guy, the ones I come across are just so amazing and I feel I'm not on their level..at least not yet.
 
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A_Thinker

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You take and spend the necessary TIME to discover whether they are right FOR YOU or not.

Do they LIFT YOU UP ... or LET YOU DOWN ?
Do they STAND WITH YOU ... or LEAVE YOU on your own ?
Are they PATIENT with you, ... or apt to LEAVE YOU BEHIND ?
Are they interested in YOU and YOUR LIFE, ... and not just obsessed with themselves ?

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
 
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PropheticTimes

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I don't think I look for a perfect guy, the ones I come across are just so amazing and I feel I'm not on their level..at least not yet.

I didn't mean to imply that you do look for a perfect guy, my statement was simply meant to say "Don't make the same mistake I made."
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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I didn't mean to imply that you do look for a perfect guy, my statement was simply meant to say "Don't make the same mistake I made."
I just feel like he won't accept me when he finds out I have anxiety, don't really have friends like that, and only work 2 days a week(which will change my boss wants to put me on full time) ...I'm not as amazing as he thinks...

That's one thing about online dating, you can show the best side of you... I want to be honest and say we should be friends..because I really like him and he likes me and I know he wouldn't mind meeting me ,,,and I don't want to waste his time bc I know I'm not ev3rything he wants.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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You take and spend the necessary TIME to discover whether they are right FOR YOU or not.

Do they LIFT YOU UP ... or LET YOU DOWN ?
Do they STAND WITH YOU ... or LEAVE YOU on your own ?
Are they PATIENT with you, ... or apt to LEAVE YOU BEHIND ?
Are they interested in YOU and YOUR LIFE, ... and not just obsessed with themselves ?
These are good questions.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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He's already shown you what he thinks of you. He's with you. So he thinks you're right for him.

I have a suspicion that no man will make you feel like you're with the "right one" until you start accomplishing things that you value which says that you're worthy.
Yeah I just want to be perfect for them, be the person they want and still be me at the same time if that makes sense. Plus he doesn't know about my bouts of anxiety, or that I work 2 days a week( for now)... I feel like he's out of my league but if I were ready.. I know we'd be together because he's into me and I'm into him.

I feel I have to work on me some more.
 
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Khalliqa

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Yeah I just want to be perfect for them, be the person they want and still be me at the same time if that makes sense. Plus he doesn't know about my bouts of anxiety, or that I work 2 days a week( for now)... I feel like he's out of my league but if I were ready.. I know we'd be together because he's into me and I'm into him.

I feel I have to work on me some more.

Just an FYI. Until you die there will never be a shortage of things you need to work on.

My suggestion to you is if you have someone you admire and like and enjoy. Enjoy them. Do not worry. If he bolts after finding out you're on a path that's different from his then he was never a good match if he finds out and stays.. great..

But you will forever be on a path of development and unless he's faced every single challenge of your life in the same way as you and was born with your same makeup genetics nurturing environment etc and THEN he made better choices then no matter where he is in life you just can't compare the two.

You are actively working on something and it's produced a person that he admires and has chosen to spend time with.

He's lucky he found someone tat feels the same way
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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Just an FYI. Until you die there will never be a shortage of things you need to work on.

My suggestion to you is if you have someone you admire and like and enjoy. Enjoy them. Do not worry. If he bolts after finding out you're on a path that's different from his then he was never a good match if he finds out and stays.. great..

But you will forever be on a path of development and unless he's faced every single challenge of your life in the same way as you and was born with your same makeup genetics nurturing environment etc and THEN he made better choices then no matter where he is in life you just can't compare the two.

You are actively working on something and it's produced a person that he admires and has chosen to spend time with.

He's lucky he found someone tat feels the same way
Aww. Man this really made me feel amazing, it makes me want to take a chance :) ..I'm scared but maybe ill be able to take the leap.
 
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Beautyinsteadofashes

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In talking to a guy I really, REALLY like, and he likes me too... But I feel I fall too short for him. I'm not that confident and I'm still getting myself together ,while he imo, is where he needs to be for his age.(in actually a year older than him)

I always felt, for me personally...if there is a "one/the one" for me... I would never be nervous around them, I'd be comfortable around them and I can trust them with all of me,,my darkest secrets and my anxiety, having alopecia. Basically for me, if feel like I can be an open book.

What do you think? Is this true ? How did you know your gf/bf was the one?

I feel like the guy I'm talking to is great, I feel he'd be the one for me if I were ready for him. :/
Hi, I see it's been awhile since you posted this. But id still like to respond.
How do you know if someone is right for you? Well, you know it in your heart. You feel it so deep down that no one can convince you otherwise. You feel so completely at peace with the thought of being with the person, so comfortable. You know.
As for being ready for him, God may want to use him to help shape you into who He would have you to be. I know its easy to get caught up in what others think of us and feel like we don't measure up. Believe me sister, I know. But don't down yourself, you are His beautiful masterpiece. You don't have to be "perfect" before you enter a relationship. Its alright to be in different places in life. Everyone is different. And something I've come to realize is that weight can always be lost, education and money can be gained. The harder work is in a person's heart. Character is shaped by the condition of our hearts. Give your heart to Him and the rest will work itself out.
 
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PeachieKeen

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The right guy you can be anxious and mean and crazy and sad around in those moments and he will be there for you through it all. I think after a few years of him doing this that's when you get the sense of ease and comfort around him. But part of the dating experience is the nervous jitters at the beginning.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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Hi, I see it's been awhile since you posted this. But id still like to respond.
How do you know if someone is right for you? Well, you know it in your heart. You feel it so deep down that no one can convince you otherwise. You feel so completely at peace with the thought of being with the person, so comfortable. You know.
As for being ready for him, God may want to use him to help shape you into who He would have you to be. I know its easy to get caught up in what others think of us and feel like we don't measure up. Believe me sister, I know. But don't down yourself, you are His beautiful masterpiece. You don't have to be "perfect" before you enter a relationship. Its alright to be in different places in life. Everyone is different. And something I've come to realize is that weight can always be lost, education and money can be gained. The harder work is in a person's heart. Character is shaped by the condition of our hearts. Give your heart to Him and the rest will work itself out.
Thank you so much..it has been a while but I think I found the right one for me.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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That brings a smile to my face, Far Side. I'm glad you never gave up.
Thank you,,, he came when I stopped looking. So weird how things work out...and he's the person I'm currently seeing that's on this site.
 
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There's a 99% chance I'll have anxiety issues fir the rest if my life. I'll never magically morph into a perfect version of myself.

I fell for a man who I felt was out of my league. Seemed more well adjusted than me, healthier, better looking, owns a house... and I was some divorcing anxious person with no money. But it turned out that he fell for me, flaws and all, and he has his own issues. He has anxiety issues like me, he's just older and manages it a bit better. And I'm better at some things than he is - I opened him up and showed him that he can be loved with his flaws, I brought out emotions in him that he didn't know he could feel. I didn't think i could benefit his life much but he says I do.
 
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