How do you handle anxiety surrounding church?

[BlessedVegan]

I’ve been attending a new church since November. I have anxiety with meeting new people, and even though I’ve been attending awhile, I still have that feeling. It’s very small, which I like, but you can’t blend in and not be noticed like you could at a big church. I stick out because I have a lot of tattoos, and this is pretty conservative church. No one had said anything to make me feel bad, it’s just my own inner worries. In the midst of the service and the message and a scripture study I go to, I really enjoy it. But I worry on the way there about if I get there early and having no one to talk to. Then they have a time for eating and fellowship at the end, and I get worried about who to sit with. No one has been unfriendly, in fact several have been quite friendly to me. I know it’s all in my head but I don’t know how to stop it. Im afraid I’m going to say something ignorant and offensive, because I do not have much biblical knowledge. Also it is a messianic church so along with my general lack of knowledge, I don’t understand many of the Jewish references. Please tell me others have this much anxiety surrounding church!

 

[Sketcher]

When I am with a new fellowship, I remind myself that these are Christians, and should be welcoming people. It's better there than in other social situations for me.

 

[Mark Quayle]

I’ve been attending a new church since November. I have anxiety with meeting new people, and even though I’ve been attending awhile, I still have that feeling. It’s very small, which I like, but you can’t blend in and not be noticed like you could at a big church. I stick out because I have a lot of tattoos, and this is pretty conservative church. No one had said anything to make me feel bad, it’s just my own inner worries. In the midst of the service and the message and a scripture study I go to, I really enjoy it. But I worry on the way there about if I get there early and having no one to talk to. Then they have a time for eating and fellowship at the end, and I get worried about who to sit with. No one has been unfriendly, in fact several have been quite friendly to me. I know it’s all in my head but I don’t know how to stop it. Im afraid I’m going to say something ignorant and offensive, because I do not have much biblical knowledge. Also it is a messianic church so along with my general lack of knowledge, I don’t understand many of the Jewish references. Please tell me others have this much anxiety surrounding church!

I remember a girl at my church, who had two children out of wedlock, who I never knew felt the way she did, but one day she kinda broke down or something and said she always felt like the rest of us looked down on her for having those kids when she wasn't married. She recognized it may have been totally in her mind, but didn't know how to stop feeling that way. It was very awkward for everybody when she said that, and no doubt particularly awkward for her, but it yielded good results. I don't think any of us had felt that way at all. It had never even mattered to me --I just took it as who she was.

Ha ha, there was plenty else concerning which I admit I didn't think well of her, but that was not one of them.

 

[WESTOZZIE]

Yes what Sketcher says is true.....Remind yourself that these people have the love of God in them and that they love you. And remind yourself that you love you too.

1Sa 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

 

[JustRachel]

The church I attend has very few active members. I meet with them for Sunday school and a midweek Bible study as well as church. I often say stupid things and they love me anyway. I'm open with them about my anxiety and the fact that I talk too much. They love me through it all. Believers showing God's love is truly amazing. Satan messes with me and tries to keep me from going back, but I won't let him win.

 

[worshipjunkie]

I’ve been attending a new church since November. I have anxiety with meeting new people, and even though I’ve been attending awhile, I still have that feeling. It’s very small, which I like, but you can’t blend in and not be noticed like you could at a big church. I stick out because I have a lot of tattoos, and this is pretty conservative church. No one had said anything to make me feel bad, it’s just my own inner worries. In the midst of the service and the message and a scripture study I go to, I really enjoy it. But I worry on the way there about if I get there early and having no one to talk to. Then they have a time for eating and fellowship at the end, and I get worried about who to sit with. No one has been unfriendly, in fact several have been quite friendly to me. I know it’s all in my head but I don’t know how to stop it. Im afraid I’m going to say something ignorant and offensive, because I do not have much biblical knowledge. Also it is a messianic church so along with my general lack of knowledge, I don’t understand many of the Jewish references. Please tell me others have this much anxiety surrounding church!

I could have written this. Different reasons for my anxiety (among other things shame about my weight and ridiculous anxiety over things like if I'm going to drop something), but my social anxiety around church is awful. I've missed the last few Sundays because of it. Not having my own transportation makes it worse.

 

[geodub]

The church I attend is warm, inviting, and caring, but I also have difficulty fitting in. I sit with people, but don't always connect. They talk with me, but it's a big church. I feel like I meet a person several times before I realize that I have been introduced to the same person five times. This leads me to people watch.

I guess I'm saying all this to say you're not alone. God knows you and will bring people to you that will encourage you and lead accompany you on your journey. Rest in Him. He knew you would be at that church during this time in your life. I am confident He has a plan. You could try Philippians 4:6-7. At the very least, you are not alone.

 

[BlessedVegan]

I could have written this. Different reasons for my anxiety (among other things shame about my weight and ridiculous anxiety over things like if I'm going to drop something), but my social anxiety around church is awful. I've missed the last few Sundays because of it. Not having my own transportation makes it worse.

I appreciate your response...I don’t worry about dropping things but worry about other things that aren’t important. The Cantor at my church has a very interesting voice and is fluent in Hebrew, so I find myself watching him a lot to see how he pronounces things. Then I feel bad because he’s married (his wife is a woman who has been the nicest to me, was very friendly to me since the first day I went there) and I catch myself staring and am afraid it seems inappropriate. So things like get to me, things I do that possibly be construed as offensive even if I don’t mean them to be.

 

[BlessedVegan]

The church I attend is warm, inviting, and caring, but I also have difficulty fitting in. I sit with people, but don't always connect. They talk with me, but it's a big church. I feel like I meet a person several times before I realize that I have been introduced to the same person five times. This leads me to people watch.

I guess I'm saying all this to say you're not alone. God knows you and will bring people to you that will encourage you and lead accompany you on your journey. Rest in Him. He knew you would be at that church during this time in your life. I am confident He has a plan. You could try Philippians 4:6-7. At the very least, you are not alone.

Thank you...I will try to keep that in mind. God already knows all my flaws so I don’t need to get too worried over it, I’m not hiding anything from Him.

 

[CaspianSails]

Well as a practical matter a couple of things. As a person who moved a lot when I was younger and attending many churches, make friends. Don't be a wallflower and initiate conversation. Ask questions. I know as the new person we expect the established folks to approach us but dare to be different. The church I am in now is a fairly new church, it was less than a year started when my family first attended. Within a year my wife and I started a special needs ministry. We have always been active and that continues today. We talked to people, we had lunch or dinner with them. We became friends and we fellowshipped with them. Share when appropriate and people will warm up to you quickly.

 

[Danayah]

I’ve been attending a new church since November. I have anxiety with meeting new people, and even though I’ve been attending awhile, I still have that feeling. It’s very small, which I like, but you can’t blend in and not be noticed like you could at a big church. I stick out because I have a lot of tattoos, and this is pretty conservative church. No one had said anything to make me feel bad, it’s just my own inner worries. In the midst of the service and the message and a scripture study I go to, I really enjoy it. But I worry on the way there about if I get there early and having no one to talk to. Then they have a time for eating and fellowship at the end, and I get worried about who to sit with. No one has been unfriendly, in fact several have been quite friendly to me. I know it’s all in my head but I don’t know how to stop it. Im afraid I’m going to say something ignorant and offensive, because I do not have much biblical knowledge. Also it is a messianic church so along with my general lack of knowledge, I don’t understand many of the Jewish references. Please tell me others have this much anxiety surrounding church!

Please pray fervently that Jesus takes it away and give you peace. You tattos are your past, and anyone who discardd you for it discards Christ also. Ask for a bible study to come up to date in this knowledge abd fellowship you seek. And always pray over it so Christ will walk you through it all

 

[Roldan Sasan]

I’ve been attending a new church since November. I have anxiety with meeting new people, and even though I’ve been attending awhile, I still have that feeling. It’s very small, which I like, but you can’t blend in and not be noticed like you could at a big church. I stick out because I have a lot of tattoos, and this is pretty conservative church. No one had said anything to make me feel bad, it’s just my own inner worries. In the midst of the service and the message and a scripture study I go to, I really enjoy it. But I worry on the way there about if I get there early and having no one to talk to. Then they have a time for eating and fellowship at the end, and I get worried about who to sit with. No one has been unfriendly, in fact several have been quite friendly to me. I know it’s all in my head but I don’t know how to stop it. Im afraid I’m going to say something ignorant and offensive, because I do not have much biblical knowledge. Also it is a messianic church so along with my general lack of knowledge, I don’t understand many of the Jewish references. Please tell me others have this much anxiety surrounding church!

 

[Roldan Sasan]

This is usually what happened to the newbie Christians that sincerely seeks God. I tell you brother, God knows your desire, the thing you felt is just normal but in the spirit it is attack by the devil. Satan doesn't wants you to pursue on your desire that God wants you to be. In God's word, he says in Hebrew 12: 2, "look unto Jesus the author and the finisher of your faith". This word encourages us whatever hindrances are, we need to look Jesus. God bless you .

 

[Romans 8]

I’ve been attending a new church since November. I have anxiety with meeting new people, and even though I’ve been attending awhile, I still have that feeling. It’s very small, which I like, but you can’t blend in and not be noticed like you could at a big church. I stick out because I have a lot of tattoos, and this is pretty conservative church. No one had said anything to make me feel bad, it’s just my own inner worries. In the midst of the service and the message and a scripture study I go to, I really enjoy it. But I worry on the way there about if I get there early and having no one to talk to. Then they have a time for eating and fellowship at the end, and I get worried about who to sit with. No one has been unfriendly, in fact several have been quite friendly to me. I know it’s all in my head but I don’t know how to stop it. Im afraid I’m going to say something ignorant and offensive, because I do not have much biblical knowledge. Also it is a messianic church so along with my general lack of knowledge, I don’t understand many of the Jewish references. Please tell me others have this much anxiety surrounding church!

Great Post! I also have social anxiety. I have read psychology books on the subject, and the techniques they describe can help, but one needs to attack the root of the problem, which the bible describes as "fear of man".
In a nutshell, what you must do: take your fear of man, (what others think of you), and instead put that fear into God where it belongs. As soon as this is done, you won't care what others think, you will be trying to keep on God's good side instead.
Another thing which can help is the Holy Spirit. Seek out Spirit baptism. The Spirit is power. Timothy of the bible had social anxiety, or fear of man. He was able to preach to people because of the Holy Spirit which gave him power.
I found this link in my search of the bible's "take" on anxiety.

The Fear of Man - Christ Life Ministries

I printed out all of the verses and labelled them "Fear of Man" and found others which I described as "Strength". I meditate on them (memorize them and read over them daily). It's been helping.

Keep meeting at your church, it gets easier the more often you go, especially if you meet more than once a week. I love Christians, they are the most real people on earth. God Bless you!