How do you get people to like you

[Chococat]

I know many people will say that it doesn't matter what people think of you and while I agree with that I would still like to be more popular. I try to be nice and kind to people but it seems I always mess up and manage to tick people off. I get the impression that a lot of people don't like me.

 

[UnitynLove]

I know many people will say that it doesn't matter what people think of you and while I agree with that I would still like to be more popular. I try to be nice and kind to people but it seems I always mess up and manage to tick people off. I get the impression that a lot of people don't like me.

How is your relationship with yourself is the true question. If you don't get along with yourself and you don't like yourself then others will find it hard to get along with you also.

Do you like yourself? After years of trying to help people emotionally, mentally, spiritually and socially, it was a major breakthrough when I discovered that most people really don’t like themselves. Some of them know it, while others don’t even have a clue that this is probably the root of so many other problems in their lives.

God wants us to have great relationships, but self-rejection and even self-hatred are the roots of many relationship problems. In fact, I’ve found the Bible to be a book about relationships, providing valuable advice about my relationship with God, other people and even myself.

How are the relationships with other people in your life? What about your relationship with God…and even with yourself?

Did it ever occur to you that you have a relationship with yourself? While I’ve never given it much thought, I spend more time with myself than with anyone, and it’s vital to get along well with me. Remember, you are the one person you never get away from.

We all know how agonizing it is to work day after day with someone we don’t get along with, but at least that person doesn’t come home with us at night. We can’t get away from ourselves, not even for one second, so it’s of the utmost importance that we have peace with ourselves.

Many of us fall prey to self-rejection because we feel that nobody really loves us or accepts us. We figure that if nobody else loves us, then why should we love ourselves? Because we think others don’t love us, we feel that we must not be worth loving. But that’s a LIE we’ve believed for way too long!

We should love ourselves—not in a selfish, self-centered way that produces a lifestyle of self-indulgence, but in a balanced, godly way that affirms God’s creation as essentially good and right. We may be flawed by unfortunate experiences we’ve gone through, but that doesn’t mean we’re worthless and good-for-nothing.

We must have the kind of love for ourselves that says, “I know God loves me, so I can love what God chooses to love. I don’t love everything I do, but I accept myself because God accepts me.” We must develop the kind of mature love that says, “I know I need to change, and I want to change. In fact, I believe God is changing me daily, but during this process, I will not reject what God accepts. I’ll accept myself as I am right now, knowing that I will not always remain this way.”

Many times people who reject themselves do so because they can’t see themselves as good, proper, or right. They fail to see themselves the way God sees them—as precious children He dearly loves.

As you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes—someone who’s loved and cherished—your view of yourself will begin to change. You’ll begin to see yourself not as rejected, but as loved and accepted…unique and beautiful in His sight.

 

[Chococat]

Thanks for the reply Unity. You are right I don't like myself a lot. I tend to see myself as a bad Christian who is constantly failing God and others. What has made it worse is that many friendships that were important in my life have ended, one nastily. Many of my other friends seem to be too busy with their own lives to have much time for me and one of them seems to have more or less abandoned me for other "cooler" friends who she thinks she has more in common with (and maybe she has). I've always had an issue with rejection and this has just compounded the issue as I feel there must be something wrong with me if people treat me like this. I know in my heart it is just a hard time I am going through but it still hurts.

 

[UnitynLove]

Thanks for the reply Unity. You are right I don't like myself a lot. I tend to see myself as a bad Christian who is constantly failing God and others. What has made it worse is that many friendships that were important in my life have ended, one nastily. Many of my other friends seem to be too busy with their own lives to have much time for me and one of them seems to have more or less abandoned me for other "cooler" friends who she thinks she has more in common with (and maybe she has). I've always had an issue with rejection and this has just compounded the issue as I feel there must be something wrong with me if people treat me like this. I know in my heart it is just a hard time I am going through but it still hurts.

Please listen to these sermons. Take notes and study them they will help you out tremendously.

How To Get Free From Condemnation
YouTube - TogetherInWorship's Channel

Forgive Yourself
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Triumph Over Rejection
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Getting Free From Hurt
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=TogetherInWorship&view=videos&query=how+to+get+free

 

[Princess Of Yahweh]

Unity I just wanted to say thanks for that post, I think it might be my problem too!
I'll for you Chococat I know how it feel and if you ever want to chat my PM box is open.

 

[livingforlove]

It is impossible to "(get) people to like you". It sounds like the people you are referring to are most likely having problems of their own and are just venting on the ones that are closest to them - (I know it hurts, but don't take it personal). *(Also) - If you're are thinking of changing your lifestyle just to please others- please think twice about that - because when one doesn't live as "theirself", then they will only "lose" theirself ; (and) - they won't be able to find the true friends that they are looking for!***I hope this helps. (((Sincerely)))-LivingforLove

 

[toastface_grillah]

If worse comes to worse, have you tried bribery? In a recession like this one, people always love somebody who has money.

 

[Chococat]

Unfortunately I don't have much money myself so that is not an option.

 

[Thunder Peel]

I don't like myself much either and this past year I've lost a lot of people in my life, mostly people who I thought were friends and later ended up stabbing me in the back or ditching me to pursue their own interests. I understand how painful that can be, especially when you've treated them as well as you can and tried to be a good friend.

If my experience in this past year has taught me anything, it's that I may not like myself but I trust God and myself more than anyone else. As much as I'd like to have friends and a social life, I realize this will only lead to more rejection and hurt from people that claim to be my friends. If you can at least get somewhat comfortable with being by yourself then that's a good start and you'll find less rejection and hurt in the process.

I'm not saying you have to be a hermit or anything but once I stopped trusting people and began doing things by myself and stopped trying to make friends I became happier. Some of us were just meant to go it alone.

 

[andreha]

Hi guys

Just remember, God doesn't make mistakes. None of us are mistakes. You are precious to Him.

 

[SMacGregor]

Great importance is our own self-esteem, self-acknowledgement and self-love... Do goals properly by using the subconscious mind. Setting Goals in Personal, Positive and Present Tense language and then checking all goals with SMART – that is, specific, measurable, achievable, reality and time-based when necessary is the only sensible way to achieve success.


Kindest regards,
Sandy MacGregor

 

[Saleena]

I will post this because my friend she helped me with this. When I was really trying to make friends, she told me her secret is this, don't focus so much on being alone, when you want to attract people even friends. If you post or say how much you are alone, it pushes people away. I know it sounds odd but think about a job interview. Most of what people learn about you is in the first 20 or so seconds, how you carry yourself etc. Well the same can be said about how you present yourself online or in real life. If they see that you are constantly lonely they will subconciously wonder why.

Another thing, she told me this. If you want good things to happen you have to actualize it. I brushed this off because of my depression. It wasn't until I started thinking "hey maybe things will get better" after I spent a 2 day stint in a psychiatric observation last week I realized how good I had it, and how suicide would never work for me. Now I have a job, I am happier, I am getting my life on track. She told me that I had to be happy before I could find my mate and be happy because I couldn't rely on them to make me happy.

As to the esteem, anyone who reads this, know that you should love yourself because if you didn't how could you expect anyone else to? Realize just that happiness is first found within.

I swear this friend of mine is a guardian angel, she never abandoned me despite how much bile I spewed at her. She is my sister in heart. The best friend I would ever have and I just wanted to share what she told me so maybe it could help someone here

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Before I was a Christian I was hopeless at relationships, I just had no people skills. However after I became a Christian I noticed that God began to work on my personality and make me a more likeable person.

The bible says "When a mans ways please the LORD he will make even his enemies be a peace with him".

The way to improved personality is improved relationship with God. Spend time getting to know God. The bible says the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy , peace. A person who has love, joy, and peace in their lives is a good person to be around.

 

[Lovely Jar]

I know many people will say that it doesn't matter what people think of you and while I agree with that I would still like to be more popular. I try to be nice and kind to people but it seems I always mess up and manage to tick people off. I get the impression that a lot of people don't like me.

Like yourself first. Start with that. Make it a ritual. Every day write something down that you like about yourself and put it in your pocket. Repeat what you like that day in your mind as you go through your day. When you feel like someone is judging you repeat it then too.

"I like that I'm compassionate"

But these must be traits that you know you have. Not those you think people want to see in you.

Then graduate to loving yourself. Write that down after you feel the blossoming of true self-like inside you. This can take time because it took awhile for you to realize where you are in this place that now makes you feel this insecure.

You are the only one on this planet who is just like you. People who judge you do what? Do they change you? Or do they change themselves because they take time out of their life to go negative because you exist and they have a bad opinion about that.
You're outnumbered you know. On this planet populated by billions of individuals you're just one of a kind.

When you die there will never be anyone else like you ever.
In the art world that's what you call a priceless masterpiece.

 

[Chococat]

Thanks to all who replied I started this thread when I was in a bad place but praise God things are a lot better now. I have some good genuine friends who I know really care about me plus I am in touch with the friend who I fell out with back then and while we may never be close friends again it's good to be at least cordial with her. I still struggle with low self esteem but not as bad as it was when I first posted here.