How do you confess

[Hermit76]

This is not a request for instruction or a "correct way" type of post. I am just curious about how you approach confession. Do you have a format that is used in your jurisdiction? Do you have a set of prayers before and after? Do you just go and confess?

Just for reference, if you don't mind, please mention your jurisdiction.

Again, let's not debate this. I am just curious about how it is done across the Orthodox experience.

Note: Although I think we would all welcome questions from non-Orthodox, this is not a place to debate or share your opinion. If you would like to argue our practice, please take it to St. Justin's (our page for debate).

 

[Hermit76]

I'll start... I am in an OCA parish that is a good mix of cradle and convert. Upon asking my priest if there was a form he would like for me to use, he said that if it helped I could but that I could also just come and confess.

I choose to just go and confess so I don't get too caught up in trying to do confession correctly (I have a problem with stressing over details). So far it works. We usually sit or stand near the icon of Christ. Since I have scoliosis, I usually just bow for the priest's prayer. I see others kneeling.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I was not given any instruction (Goarch - Greek Orthodox, US) in my parish. Confession normally includes spiritual guidance for us, based on whatever we say, and Father normally sets aside an hour. As you might guess, we do not confess before every reception of the Eucharist. It is actually for whenever Communion is broken, as a requirement for restoration, and also a means of grace and help when we need or want it. For most, guidance regarding prayer rules, fasting, reading, etc. would come as part of confession, though they could also ask for it separately. But the priest can advise better from hearing confession.

The Church is empty. Father allows time to pray/prepare alone if we want. We stand before an icon of Christ (though not directly before) and Father reads the opening prayers. We sit and he hears whatever the confessing person would say. He offers help or answers question about the process if needed, but unless there is a real need he says nothing. When the person is done confessing, Father offers guidance which usually seems to focus on understanding ourselves and the wiles of the enemy, any any suggestions for help or perhaps reassurance that something we are concerned about is not actually a sin at that stage, etc. We stand and the prayers of absolution are read, the person who has confessed bowing under the (epitrachion is it? I'll never learn all that). Then a moment of relating to each other as persons, receiving his blessing or reassurance or whatever. That is when he began to seem much like a father to me.


On the other hand, my SF is an Antiochian priest. He did send me an outline that he wrote, that goes over a self-examination of all kinds of sin from Scripture, and directed me to spend time for 2-3 days before going to Confession to go over that list, pray about it, and prepare in this way prior to confession.

 

[Lukaris]

We have confession before vespers with our current priest. I often do janitorial work at the church on Saturdays so this works for me ( I do not usually go to vespers).

I approach the icon of Christ on the cross and our priest has us read a prayer acknowledging sin & asking forgiveness. Next, I make my confession and the priest counsels as needed. Last, the priest puts a stole over my head as I repent and witnesses the Lord’s forgiveness to me. Lastly, I kiss the stole and go my way.

Gotta start the work day....

 

[FenderTL5]

In our parish (GOARCH, archdiocese of Detroit), Father will meet by appointment or is always available after vespers on Saturday evening. I've never made an appointment, always just stayed after at vespers. Sometimes there's a wait but our parish is fairly large.
Confession is made to Christ, in front of the iconostasis, up front.

There are preparatory prayers and of course the prayers of the sacrament itself.

For my very first confession, at Chrismation, I was sent a document for self evaluation preparing for confession. However, I asked for help since being a life-long Baptist, confession is something I had never done. I uploaded a pdf copy here (if that works). I will sometimes reference the document when preparing but it is not required.
I've worked through it or the prep section in the Antiochian prayer book.
Others may be different.

I have seen Father hear a confession in one of the transepts, to the side of our Nave during Orthros/Matins on Sunday. Our parish is relatively large (compared to other parishes I've been in, here in the U.S. south) so, there's no 'overhearing' by other parishioners.

If I confused anything, let me know I'll answer q's.

 

[ArmyMatt]

this is a varied question, and honestly it depends on what your local bishop and priest deem appropriate. the bottom line is for the one confessing to be obedient to the confessor.

my confessor basically leads you through what you are struggling with.

 

[YCGP]

If it is our first confession do we confess all of our sins o date? How do we manage that (memory)?

 

[ArmyMatt]

my priest ran me through the Ten Commandments and at the end asked if I had anything on my heart.

 

[GreekOrthodox]

I normally don't go into a grocery list of everything I've done but keep it more about a particular area that I have been struggling with.

 

[Bessie]

Antiochian - priest is very Russian. He's always available after vespers and will also make appointments if you want. We go to the front of the church and face the cross and the gospel book. He just asks me if there is anything in particular on my heart and we get straight to it. If he has advice to share or questions to ask about specific things we will talk about that, and he will ask, "Is there anything else?" When the answer is no I kneel and he puts the epitrachelion on my head for the absolution.

 

[ArmyMatt]

for the sake of full disclosure for any lurkers, my first life confession was terrifying, but when done it was like a great weight had been lifted

 

[YCGP]

Antiochian - priest is very Russian. He's always available after vespers and will also make appointments if you want. We go to the front of the church and face the cross and the gospel book. He just asks me if there is anything in particular on my heart and we get straight to it. If he has advice to share or questions to ask about specific things we will talk about that, and he will ask, "Is there anything else?" When the answer is no I kneel and he puts the epitrachelion on my head for the absolution.

What do you mean by "very Russian?"
Just curious.

 

[Bessie]

What do you mean by "very Russian?"
Just curious.

Well his family is Russian. His mother ran in circles that included St. John of Kronstadt. He also had family members in the royal court. His dad was also a priest. He speaks Russian, goes to Russia on a semi regular basis, and many of our practices in our parish are Russian, like zapivka.

 

[Goatee]

Lovely posts. Interesting.

 

[Hermit76]

Thank all of you for replying. Confession is quickly becoming a lifeline for me.

 

[Principal Moo]

The past two times I have gone to confession, the priest could not understand me and I could not understand him . It’s a great reminder that you are confessing directly to God.

I did, however, miss the spiritual guidance that I would have received if we spoke the same language, but I’m just grateful that a priest is able to visit when they do.