How do you..authentically..love someone? [Advice needed]

[Take Heart]

I'm 28. I've never dated. I'm perfectly content as I am-single. I only ask the above question because..I want to know how to *authentically* love Jesus.

There's 3 types of love- Eros, Agape, and Philos.

What does it mean..to truly love God? I've read scriptures about how loving others equals loving God. How action is better than 'loving with words'.
There's got to be more than one way to love someone, right?

I just..want to 'get back to my first love'..which is Him. He loved us before we loved Him. So..
I just don't know what steps to take..that I'm not already taking. Or maybe it isn't so much about the 'stuff' I'm doing but..how I'm approaching it. Perhaps it's my motivation? I don't know. It's supposed to be a genuine 'heart' thing, right? Something you do out of love and not out of duty/routine/to-do-list.

How do I authentically love Him again? I feel like I'm just going through the motions of reading my Bible, of listening to worship music..but it's not penetrating my heart. I don't feel anything. Even though loving God shouldn't be based on feelings. Or should it? I don't know..I'm trying to think of the things I did at first when I first got saved. It's amazing to reflect back on what I was like..how my relationship was so tight..you couldn't even phase me with whatever you thought of me or said about me..I was absolutely and resolutely locked in my conviction of who I was..am in Christ..and there was nothing anyone could say to shake me or my faith. By the way, my faith is in tact. My heart though..feels kind of hardened.. I've been single my entire life thus far that I don't know what it's like to fall for anyone. Sure I've had crushes but..I never had that real life relationship before. Never had that face-to-face interaction before. How can someone expect me to love Someone when I never experienced it for myself? You can't give what you never experienced..can you?

I feel as if my heart is 'dead' in a way..like it isn't able to feel that agape love that, as a Christian, I should be feeling and pouring back out to Him. Simply because He deserves it.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I'm 28. I've never dated. I'm perfectly content as I am-single. I only ask the above question because..I want to know how to *authentically* love Jesus.

There's 3 types of love- Eros, Agape, and Philos.

What does it mean..to truly love God? I've read scriptures about how loving others equals loving God. How action is better than 'loving with words'.
There's got to be more than one way to love someone, right?

I just..want to 'get back to my first love'..which is Him. He loved us before we loved Him. So..
I just don't know what steps to take..that I'm not already taking. Or maybe it isn't so much about the 'stuff' I'm doing but..how I'm approaching it. Perhaps it's my motivation? I don't know. It's supposed to be a genuine 'heart' thing, right? Something you do out of love and not out of duty/routine/to-do-list.

How do I authentically love Him again? I feel like I'm just going through the motions of reading my Bible, of listening to worship music..but it's not penetrating my heart. I don't feel anything. Even though loving God shouldn't be based on feelings. Or should it? I don't know..I'm trying to think of the things I did at first when I first got saved. It's amazing to reflect back on what I was like..how my relationship was so tight..you couldn't even phase me with whatever you thought of me or said about me..I was absolutely and resolutely locked in my conviction of who I was..am in Christ..and there was nothing anyone could say to shake me or my faith. By the way, my faith is in tact. My heart though..feels kind of hardened.. I've been single my entire life thus far that I don't know what it's like to fall for anyone. Sure I've had crushes but..I never had that real life relationship before. Never had that face-to-face interaction before. How can someone expect me to love Someone when I never experienced it for myself? You can't give what you never experienced..can you?

I feel as if my heart is 'dead' in a way..like it isn't able to feel that agape love that, as a Christian, I should be feeling and pouring back out to Him. Simply because He deserves it.

Best to go to Scripture and see how the word 'love' is used in an Epistle such as First John: "We love Him, because He first loved us" (1 John 4.19), etc.

 

[Tolworth John]

What does it mean..to truly love God?

Have you never read John 14 verses
19 "A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. 20 At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. 21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him."
22 Judas (not Iscariot) said to Him, "Lord, how is it that You will manifest Yourself to us, and not to the world?"
23 Jesus answered and said to him, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father’s who sent Me.

Jesus clearly says if we love him we will obey him.

So seek to live as a Christian,caring for those around you as well as those far away, be regular in attending church and the prayer meetings and get involved in your community.

 

[Take Heart]

Best to go to Scripture and see how the word 'love' is used in an Epistle such as First John: "We love Him, because He first loved us" (1 John 4.19), etc.

Thanks. Yeah I'm reading that now actually..the AMP version. Seems like to love God is to love others unselfishly. Something I struggle with as someone who has been single and is actually content in it, I have become rather selfish. Not that I'm incapable of being selfless..but it's certainly a struggle.

 

[razzelflabben]

How about this for a start...Luke 10:27...it all begins with a fear of the Lord...Psalms 34 tells us how to do that...then Loving Him with all our heart is a transformed heart. That is a circumcised heart/cleansed heart/crucified heart to the things of this world.

Soul...this is an alive soul, a soul that allows the HS control

With all your mind...this is a renewing of the mind, taking our thoughts captive and putting our thoughts on the things of God (more passages upon request)

Strength...this is your efforts combined with HS power. think not only good works but memorizing scripture, prayer, meditating on scripture, study of the word not just reading, etc.

 

[Halbhh]

I'm 28. I've never dated. I'm perfectly content as I am-single. I only ask the above question because..I want to know how to *authentically* love Jesus.

There's 3 types of love- Eros, Agape, and Philos.

What does it mean..to truly love God? I've read scriptures about how loving others equals loving God. How action is better than 'loving with words'.
There's got to be more than one way to love someone, right?

I just..want to 'get back to my first love'..which is Him. He loved us before we loved Him. So..
I just don't know what steps to take..that I'm not already taking. Or maybe it isn't so much about the 'stuff' I'm doing but..how I'm approaching it. Perhaps it's my motivation? I don't know. It's supposed to be a genuine 'heart' thing, right? Something you do out of love and not out of duty/routine/to-do-list.

How do I authentically love Him again? I feel like I'm just going through the motions of reading my Bible, of listening to worship music..but it's not penetrating my heart. I don't feel anything. Even though loving God shouldn't be based on feelings. Or should it? I don't know..I'm trying to think of the things I did at first when I first got saved. It's amazing to reflect back on what I was like..how my relationship was so tight..you couldn't even phase me with whatever you thought of me or said about me..I was absolutely and resolutely locked in my conviction of who I was..am in Christ..and there was nothing anyone could say to shake me or my faith. By the way, my faith is in tact. My heart though..feels kind of hardened.. I've been single my entire life thus far that I don't know what it's like to fall for anyone. Sure I've had crushes but..I never had that real life relationship before. Never had that face-to-face interaction before. How can someone expect me to love Someone when I never experienced it for myself? You can't give what you never experienced..can you?

I feel as if my heart is 'dead' in a way..like it isn't able to feel that agape love that, as a Christian, I should be feeling and pouring back out to Him. Simply because He deserves it.

The way to love God is how Christ said to us in the greatest commandment, and really seeing the words, and letting them impact us, so we hear what they say --

28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’



With everything in you, all the fullness of your mind, which means you will be reading/listening to all Christ says in the gospels, wanting to hear Him. The amazing gift Christ gave to us, to reconcile us to God, even, so that we are even fully embraced as children of God!

The first time I tried to do this greatest commandment, the first and foremost commandment to us to do, was only after many years of being a Christian, and finally realizing He is telling us this is the greatest commandment to us. He said to me, to you, to all of us, that this is the foremost of all things we are to do. And so, the first time I put aside all other things, that evening, and focused all of my full mind and attention towards our Father, God, in so much thankfulness for having been rescued from being so far from Him, from all of my disregard of Him even, and brought back. I was so grateful. The amazing gift Christ has done for us. Love is a natural response of your heart to this. Our soul is that part of us that is constant and not affected by mere emotions and momentary circumstances, no matter how strong they are, but is steady. The center of us. I feel that when you stop all distractions and are still inside for long enough, you uncover that part of yourself, that part that is connected . To love God with all of your soul is to dwell in that connection, which is so wonderful and deep and such peace. Your mind put asides all other things for a time. Your heart responds in love to the amazing gift to us. Your soul is connected to Him, and you dwell in that. You do this with all you have. I think for everyone this will be unique. Other great answers are also part. It's all of the above. Because each person is unique they will love uniquely, and we are simply to love with all we have.

 

[Take Heart]

Have you never read John 14 verses
19 "A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. 20 At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. 21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him."
22 Judas (not Iscariot) said to Him, "Lord, how is it that You will manifest Yourself to us, and not to the world?"
23 Jesus answered and said to him, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father’s who sent Me.

Jesus clearly says if we love him we will obey him.

So seek to live as a Christian,caring for those around you as well as those far away, be regular in attending church and the prayer meetings and get involved in your community.

Thank you. Yes, I've read it many times. I guess it's just a matter of actually soaking it in and meditating on it rather than simply reading it/skimming it without taking it into heart.
I already attend Church and am even part of the worship team. The caring about others around me by serving them and getting involved in my community is something I need to work on. Granted, I'm a nurse so.. that's pretty much serving the community. Maybe it's my heart..it's done out of duty rather than out of genuine love.

 

[Noxot]

I think there are many ways and different seasons of love in Gods kingdom. duty and compassion are both aspects of humanity and are imo valid expressions of love.

 

[Take Heart]

How about this for a start...Luke 10:27...it all begins with a fear of the Lord...Psalms 34 tells us how to do that...then Loving Him with all our heart is a transformed heart. That is a circumcised heart/cleansed heart/crucified heart to the things of this world.

Soul...this is an alive soul, a soul that allows the HS control

With all your mind...this is a renewing of the mind, taking our thoughts captive and putting our thoughts on the things of God (more passages upon request)

Strength...this is your efforts combined with HS power. think not only good works but memorizing scripture, prayer, meditating on scripture, study of the word not just reading, etc.

Thank you for the reminder of dying to self. That all ties in with being selfless and more serving towards others instead of serving myself first and attending to my needs first. Although there can be a line drawn with that type of thinking as there is need for one to re-energise, so-to-speak, with God's Word and spending time in His presence through worship music instead of running on empty trying to serve others when one is incredibly exhausted physically, emotionally, spiritually..etc.

 

[Take Heart]

The way to love God is how Christ said to us in the greatest commandment, and really seeing the words, and letting them impact us, so we hear what they say --

28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’



With everything in you, all the fullness of your mind, which means you will be reading/listening to all Christ says in the gospels, wanting to hear Him. The amazing gift Christ gave to us, to reconcile us to God, even, so that we are even fully embraced as children of God!

The first time I tried to do this greatest commandment, the first and foremost commandment to us to do, was only after many years of being a Christian, and finally realizing He is telling us this is the greatest commandment to us. He said to me, to you, to all of us, that this is the foremost of all things we are to do. And so, the first time I put aside all other things, that evening, and focused all of my full mind and attention towards our Father, God, in so much thankfulness for having been rescued from being so far from Him, from all of my disregard of Him even, and brought back. I was so grateful. The amazing gift Christ has done for us. Love is a natural response of your heart to this. Our soul is that part of us that is constant and not affected by mere emotions and momentary circumstances, no matter how strong they are, but is steady. The center of us. I feel that when you stop all distractions and are still inside for long enough, you uncover that part of yourself, that part that is connected . To love God with all of your soul is to dwell in that connection, which is so wonderful and deep and such peace. Your mind put asides all other things for a time. Your heart responds in love to the amazing gift to us. Your soul is connected to Him, and you dwell in that. You do this with all you have.

That was really beautiful the way you described that..I think being grateful and reflecting on all God's done for you really helps you to be in that state of contentment, peace and genuine thankfulness..so setting aside distractions and being still in His presence seems to help. I know I read those verses at least a thousand times..but to re-read it just now..a new thought crossed my mind: His greatest commandment..of all the commandments..is to simply love Him? That's kind of mind-blowing and beautiful. Like that's all He wants from us..it's not..'do this, or do that'. Although it kind of is like that since a commandment is a command which involves doing something.

 

[Take Heart]

I think there are many ways and different seasons of love in Gods kingdom. duty and compassion are both aspects of humanity and are imo valid expressions of love.

That's an interesting take on it. Not quite sure I understand what you mean by 'different seasons of love in God's kingdom'. I'm guessing it's normal to fall in and out of love with God..in that..our love wanes and peaks throughout our lives unlike His steady, unrelenting, and all-pursuing love for us. I wish I could love Him like that every day that He blesses me with.. it sucks how 'life in general' steals that from us and our love wavers. Seems like one has to 'stir themselves up in the Lord' constantly. Even when they don't feel like it.

 

[Halbhh]

That was really beautiful the way you described that..I think being grateful and reflecting on all God's done for you really helps you to be in that state of contentment, peace and genuine thankfulness..so setting aside distractions and being still in His presence seems to help. I know I read those verses at least a thousand times..but to re-read it just now..a new thought crossed my mind: His greatest commandment..of all the commandments..is to simply love Him? That's kind of mind-blowing and beautiful. Like that's all He wants from us..it's not..'do this, or do that'. Although it kind of is like that since a commandment is a command which involves doing something.

So wonderful. I think for everyone, their love will be unique. Other great answers are also part, and it's all of the above. Because each person is unique they will love uniquely even when serving, or even when meditating and dwelling with Him, and we are simply to love with all we have.

 

[PeaceJoyLove]

To love God with all your heart, mind and strength...and love others as you love yourself. For natural man, it is hard...but the spirit coming (back) to Life within, comes with the power to do that which is impossible (for man).

To return to 'first love' is a truth that starts in Genesis, when Adam was one, alone, with God...having dominion over all things. It all being a picture of our soul's journey to finding our way back...God placed Adam in a deep slumber, wounded his side to take out a woman (Hebrews 4:12)...the dividing asunder of soul and spirit...which relates to eating (from a tree) the feast prepared by the woman while we are invited to the feast prepared by The Father...God being our husband Isaiah 54:5...and He who has the bride is the bridegroom. That which is being renewed (mind of Christ) inwardly, restored/reconciled all goes back to the beginning...Alpha and Omega, First and Last Adam, The Beginning and The End (of our faith)...First Love...God alone...who is Love. And HE loves impartially...and so will we...by HIS spirit alive within...awakened, single of eye, One mind...

Jesus wound in His side on the cross, truth high and lifted up...Just as Moses's serpent on a pole was in the wilderness - the antidote for the bite of a serpent. To carry our cross high and lifted up is victory/overcoming...Walking in The Way (back) to the truth we have always been from the beginning...

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I'm 28. I've never dated. I'm perfectly content as I am-single. I only ask the above question because..I want to know how to *authentically* love Jesus.

There's 3 types of love- Eros, Agape, and Philos.

What does it mean..to truly love God? I've read scriptures about how loving others equals loving God. How action is better than 'loving with words'.
There's got to be more than one way to love someone, right?

I just..want to 'get back to my first love'..which is Him. He loved us before we loved Him. So..
I just don't know what steps to take..that I'm not already taking. Or maybe it isn't so much about the 'stuff' I'm doing but..how I'm approaching it. Perhaps it's my motivation? I don't know. It's supposed to be a genuine 'heart' thing, right? Something you do out of love and not out of duty/routine/to-do-list.

How do I authentically love Him again? I feel like I'm just going through the motions of reading my Bible, of listening to worship music..but it's not penetrating my heart. I don't feel anything. Even though loving God shouldn't be based on feelings. Or should it? I don't know..I'm trying to think of the things I did at first when I first got saved. It's amazing to reflect back on what I was like..how my relationship was so tight..you couldn't even phase me with whatever you thought of me or said about me..I was absolutely and resolutely locked in my conviction of who I was..am in Christ..and there was nothing anyone could say to shake me or my faith. By the way, my faith is in tact. My heart though..feels kind of hardened.. I've been single my entire life thus far that I don't know what it's like to fall for anyone. Sure I've had crushes but..I never had that real life relationship before. Never had that face-to-face interaction before. How can someone expect me to love Someone when I never experienced it for myself? You can't give what you never experienced..can you?

I feel as if my heart is 'dead' in a way..like it isn't able to feel that agape love that, as a Christian, I should be feeling and pouring back out to Him. Simply because He deserves it.

"Kissin' don't last, good cookin' do." This old proverb can be applied to the Christian walk as well as marriage. The emotion of first love is part of the initial attraction, but rarely lasts. Then the work of love begins. A study of the word agape will give pretty good insights into it. None of the four defined aspects contain the 'emotion' found in phileo. Curiously the best definition of agape is found in the formal definition of phileo (Strong's).

Strong's Greek Lexicon Search Results

Result of search for "phileo":
5368. phileo fil-eh'-o from 5384; to be a friend to (fond of (an individual or an object)), i.e. have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while 25 (agape) is wider, embracing especially the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety: the two thus stand related very much as 2309 and 1014, or as 2372 and 3563 respectively; the former (phileo) being chiefly of the heart and the latter (agape) of the head); specially, to kiss (as a mark of tenderness):--kiss, love.

Notice that duty is part of agape. Duty stands in when all else fails.

 

[Take Heart]

To love God with all your heart, mind and strength...and love others as you love yourself. For natural man, it is hard...but the spirit coming (back) to Life within, comes with the power to do that which is impossible (for man).

To return to 'first love' is a truth that starts in Genesis, when Adam was one, alone, with God...having dominion over all things. It all being a picture of our soul's journey to finding our way back...God placed Adam in a deep slumber, wounded his side to take out a woman (Hebrews 4:12)...the dividing asunder of soul and spirit...which relates to eating (from a tree) the feast prepared by the woman while we are invited to the feast prepared by The Father...God being our husband Isaiah 54:5...and He who has the bride is the bridegroom. That which is being renewed (mind of Christ) inwardly, restored/reconciled all goes back to the beginning...Alpha and Omega, First and Last Adam, The Beginning and The End (of our faith)...First Love...God alone...who is Love. And HE loves impartially...and so will we...by HIS spirit alive within...awakened, single of eye, One mind...

Jesus wound in His side on the cross, truth high and lifted up...Just as Moses's serpent on a pole was in the wilderness - the antidote for the bite of a serpent. To carry our cross high and lifted up is victory/overcoming...Walking in The Way (back) to the truth we have always been from the beginning...

Thank you, that was beautifully articulated. So it's not simply by our own strength that we can love Him but by His Spirit-the Holy Spirit in which we are able to love Him.

 

[Take Heart]

"Kissin' don't last, good cookin' do."

Yup, sounds like another way to say serving is better : )

 

[dreadnought]

I'm 28. I've never dated. I'm perfectly content as I am-single. I only ask the above question because..I want to know how to *authentically* love Jesus.

There's 3 types of love- Eros, Agape, and Philos.

What does it mean..to truly love God? I've read scriptures about how loving others equals loving God. How action is better than 'loving with words'.
There's got to be more than one way to love someone, right?

I just..want to 'get back to my first love'..which is Him. He loved us before we loved Him. So..
I just don't know what steps to take..that I'm not already taking. Or maybe it isn't so much about the 'stuff' I'm doing but..how I'm approaching it. Perhaps it's my motivation? I don't know. It's supposed to be a genuine 'heart' thing, right? Something you do out of love and not out of duty/routine/to-do-list.

How do I authentically love Him again? I feel like I'm just going through the motions of reading my Bible, of listening to worship music..but it's not penetrating my heart. I don't feel anything. Even though loving God shouldn't be based on feelings. Or should it? I don't know..I'm trying to think of the things I did at first when I first got saved. It's amazing to reflect back on what I was like..how my relationship was so tight..you couldn't even phase me with whatever you thought of me or said about me..I was absolutely and resolutely locked in my conviction of who I was..am in Christ..and there was nothing anyone could say to shake me or my faith. By the way, my faith is in tact. My heart though..feels kind of hardened.. I've been single my entire life thus far that I don't know what it's like to fall for anyone. Sure I've had crushes but..I never had that real life relationship before. Never had that face-to-face interaction before. How can someone expect me to love Someone when I never experienced it for myself? You can't give what you never experienced..can you?

I feel as if my heart is 'dead' in a way..like it isn't able to feel that agape love that, as a Christian, I should be feeling and pouring back out to Him. Simply because He deserves it.

I have been reflecting on the same issue a bit recently. It seems to me two things might be involved. First, I wouldn't want the Lord to be lonely, so I would like to walk with him. Paul's advice in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 might be the key here: Pray constantly. The second part of our relationship, then, might be to obey the Lord. If we obey him, we won't hurt him.

 

[Take Heart]

I have been reflecting on the same issue a bit recently. It seems to me two things might be involved. First, I wouldn't want the Lord to be lonely, so I would like to walk with him. Paul's advice in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 might be the key here: Pray constantly. The second part of our relationship, then, might be to obey the Lord. If we obey him, we won't hurt him.

That's a pretty neat thought. Thanks for sharing that. I'm glad you brought up the feelings aspect of it except..from His side. I think we tend to focus so much on our emotions that we forget/neglect how He must feel as well.

 

[PeaceJoyLove]

Thank you, that was beautifully articulated. So it's not simply by our own strength that we can love Him but by His Spirit-the Holy Spirit in which we are able to love Him.

It is the Spirit that urges us on to seek to find the promises of God...our faith...the perceiving that we fall short (lack) keeps us going after the promise (a picture of this we see in Jacob's wrestling with the LORD from dark of night til dawn, refusing to let go until he received the promise...even though it left him wounded in the flesh)...all part of the process taking place within...until the truth narrows down to the One (spirit) we have always been...

 

[eighty_proof]

I feel as if my heart is 'dead' in a way..like it isn't able to feel that agape love that, as a Christian, I should be feeling and pouring back out to Him. Simply because He deserves it.

Feelings are just chemical reactions in your brain. Nothing more. You could pop an ecstasy tablet and feel you were loving God, the universe and everything. I wouldn't rely on feelings too much as an indicator of reality. People make all kinds of mistakes by living for their feelings. Just my 2 cents.