That's the thing I did try school the daycare kept closing down bc of Covid. So I couldn't study the way I needed to pass.It’s impossible to see the fallout upfront. If you knew it would lead to this you would have done things differently. Understandably so.
That’s a sizable difference. You have everything on your shoulders which requires a different approach. You can’t look at them. They don’t have it easy either. If the relationship ends—and it usually does—they’re starting again with kids in tow. The more you have the harder it is.
My stepmother told me something that served me well. It prevented me from being dependent and having unrealistic expectations of others. She said never forget the child is your responsibility. People say a lot and make lots of promises. They mean well. But don’t build your hopes upon them. If they come through that’s great. If they don’t its okay.
I understood the buck stops with me. I made plans according to my abilities. What I could handle on my own. If they pitched in that was great. When they didn’t come through I made adjustments and learned from my mistakes.
Your children are young. It’s hard to work without help. When they’re sick you need a sitter. I went to school instead. That’s all I could handle. Missing class was easier than a day of work. I went in person. You didn’t go online back then. If I faced the same I’d pursue my education until they’re ready for school. By then I’m done or nearly so and made use of the time.
It’s admirable you want to work but it may be difficult in the season. You have too much on your plate that compromises your employment.
How do you know He’s responsible for their circumstances? No one tells you everything. Especially on here. You’re looking at them and wondering why not me when you don’t have the facts. If you had your own place what’s the likelihood he’d be living with you or you’d be pregnant again? I’ve seen that movie.
Everyone I knew who had children (when I did) continued to do so. Three or more was the norm and they weren’t married. I was the only one who stopped. We were on different trajectories. One day I said to myself, if you don’t want to end up the same you need new associations. I was friends with one of them but knew the rest and heard about every one.
And it was the same ‘ol thing. It was a mindset and a cycle. I saw it and broke away. You don’t need to surround yourself with single mothers. You need to be around people your age who don’t have grown folks problems. They’re more likely to encourage and help you than the others. They’re in the same boat.
That was the best thing I could have done. I met so many people with different interests and experiences that didn’t involve baby daddies and baby mama drama. There’s more to life than that.
Do what you can in this season. If all you can handle is one or two classes on a computer then do it. You’ll have 4 to 8 in a year. A little progress is better than none.
And tell your story. You know how to write and use social media. Create a blog about single parenting. Share the highs and lows. You’re not the only one. All you need is a host and domain. They’re not expensive. They’ll be on sale for Black Friday.
There’s always a ram in the bush.
~bella
I'm not surrounded by single mothers. I'm by myself. I think it'd be hypocritical to look down on them when I'm a single mother with issues myself. But I'm alone I just have online friends. One is single and an account, another is a single phlebotomist, the other is a MLT but has a kid like I do, the last one has a bachelor's but is married with a kid. I'm the only weak link. All I have is a dental certificate I can't use. If they thought that way they wouldn't be my friend. I feel as long as someone is trying to better their situation then that counts for something imo. I get what you're saying though bird's of feather..
And I wouldn't be pregnant again bc I was smart enough to remove my tubes so I'd never go though this again.
I'll figure something out I guess. But yeah if I could see my current situation in a crystal ball I wouldn't have chose this life. I would've chose myself and my success seeing as no one is going to help me but myself.
But I'll just take my family and the kids dads out of the equation. Qnd think of something.
Sorry for the long drawn out ramble.
Last edited:
Upvote
0
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."