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How do I win the battle?

SongOnTheWind

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I am in a serious spiritual battle with my husband, whom I believe is an actual narcissistic psychopath. He doesn't want to be diagnosed, which I am not surprised at all; but I don't know what other term I would use. I am in constant concern for the safety and wellbeing for my kids and myself. I'm already in a battle of my own with depression. My pastors aren't really taking the situation seriously at all.

I have been praying for him, but it's very hard to know what to pray. I am at the point where I realise I am in a spiritual battle with his condition, but I don't know how to pray.

Are there any bible verses that anyone can reference that I can stand on in effective prayer for my husband? Or specific things to pray? Please let me know. Thank you!
 

FutureAndAHope

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What I would say is you need to try to build bridges. Relationships wane, and if we don't maintain them they will eventually fail. Try to love your husband, don't focus on the problem, but rather seek to build the relationship. Obviously, if the problem gets out of hand you would need to address it. But for now, I would recommend taking an interest in what your husband does, try to engage with his world. He may not want to be overwhelmed, but test the waters see whether you can connect.

As for prayer just keep on knocking on God's door.
 
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Sabertooth

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Marc Munday

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Hello sorry to hear your situation, Instead of accusing each other of being the problem work together united in Christ to find a solution you are bound as husband and wife to Love one and other for better or worse and to set the best example for your children.

No marriage can work unless Godly values are the center of the marriage he binds us together like glue if things are that bad I think use should try reading scripture together from Jesus Christ teachings and prayer together and lift each other out of the hole instead of digging the hole deeper with blame and arguments.

Here is a good message I share in these situations, I tell people evil repaid with evil produced conflict and hate evil repaid with Love produces repentance and life we have to be smarter than satan when he causes conflict in our lives someone has to be the bigger person.
 
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SongOnTheWind

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Hello sorry to hear your situation, Instead of accusing each other of being the problem work together united in Christ to find a solution you are bound as husband and wife to Love one and other for better or worse and to set the best example for your children.

No marriage can work unless Godly values are the center of the marriage he binds us together like glue if things are that bad I think use should try reading scripture together from Jesus Christ teachings and prayer together and lift each other out of the hole instead of digging the hole deeper with blame and arguments.

Here is a good message I share in these situations, I tell people evil repaid with evil produced conflict and hate evil repaid with Love produces repentance and life we have to be smarter than satan when he causes conflict in our lives someone has to be the bigger person.

Thank you.

I have not accused him of anything, I do not wish him any evil, and I don't know how you came to that conclusion. If I didn't care about my marriage, I wouldn't be praying, but at this point it's about God's will being done in my family, over my personal wishes.

However, I do believe my suspicions are grounded, and right now I am more concerned for my kids safety over his feelings, or lack thereof.

I don't take this lightly, and I don't intend to paint a broad brush on the incredibly sensitive and serious situation that I and my children find ourselves in.

But thank you for your concern and counsel.
 
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Tolworth John

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am in a serious spiritual battle with my husband, whom I believe is an actual narcissistic psychopath

I am concerned that you are in a Spiritual battle with your husband!
Why are you battling him?
You believe he is....?
Do you have evidence of behaviour that supports your belief about him?

You also say that you are concerned for your and your children's safety.
Do you have grounds for having this?

Are you seeing a therapist for your depression?
If you are have you discussed these fears with them.
 
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eleos1954

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I am in a serious spiritual battle with my husband, whom I believe is an actual narcissistic psychopath. He doesn't want to be diagnosed, which I am not surprised at all; but I don't know what other term I would use. I am in constant concern for the safety and wellbeing for my kids and myself. I'm already in a battle of my own with depression. My pastors aren't really taking the situation seriously at all.

I have been praying for him, but it's very hard to know what to pray. I am at the point where I realise I am in a spiritual battle with his condition, but I don't know how to pray.

Are there any bible verses that anyone can reference that I can stand on in effective prayer for my husband? Or specific things to pray? Please let me know. Thank you!

Romans 8:26
AMPC

In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words.

Rest in the Lord.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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I have not accused him of anything
Marriage is certainly difficult. You have described him as a " narcissistic psychopath" which is really bad. Your pastors are not taking you seriously. You are depressed. Now that you have diagnosed your situation, how can you move forward ? Well, it does start with you. I have found it helpful in the past to hone in on what it is that I do to contribute to the breakdown. There are always two sides to a story. Self analysis and humbleness are the best tools we can use to open up the work of the Holy Spirit that otherwise has probably been quenched by both of you. Be blessed.
 
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SongOnTheWind

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I am concerned that you are in a Spiritual battle with your husband!
Why are you battling him?
You believe he is....?
Do you have evidence of behaviour that supports your belief about him?

You also say that you are concerned for your and your children's safety.
Do you have grounds for having this?

Are you seeing a therapist for your depression?
If you are have you discussed these fears with them.
I must apologise, I should have been more careful with my wording. I am engaged in a spiritual battle with the spirit/s behind my husband's actions. I do not know how much in agreement he is in with these spiritual influences, but my battle is not carnal, and neither are my weapons.

I have experiential evidence, but he refuses a diagnosis on his mental (or even spiritual) health.

Why would I be concerned if I did not have grounds for being so?

Why would I bother posting?

I did not come here for debate, but for help.

All the help/advice I have thus far received in this thread I do appreciate, but I feel the focus is being taken off the problem at hand.

Again, and scriptural references that would help, I would be grateful for.

Thanks in advance :)
 
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SongOnTheWind

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Romans 8:26
AMPC

In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words.

Rest in the Lord.

Thank you :)
 
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SongOnTheWind

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Marriage is certainly difficult. You have described him as a " narcissistic psychopath" which is really bad. Your pastors are not taking you seriously. You are depressed. Now that you have diagnosed your situation, how can you move forward ? Well, it does start with you. I have found it helpful in the past to hone in on what it is that I do to contribute to the breakdown. There are always two sides to a story. Self analysis and humbleness are the best tools we can use to open up the work of the Holy Spirit that otherwise has probably been quenched by both of you. Be blessed.
I'm not sure I am to blame for his condition, though if I have contributed anything to the situation I would be glad to rectify it. The truth sets us free. That's all I want for me and my kids.
 
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Tolworth John

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I must apologise, I should have been more careful with my wording. I am engaged in a spiritual battle with the spirit/s behind my husband's actions. I do not know how much in agreement he is in with these spiritual influences, but my battle is not carnal, and neither are my weapons.

I have experiential evidence, but he refuses a diagnosis on his mental (or even spiritual) health.

Why would I be concerned if I did not have grounds for being so?

Why would I bother posting?

I did not come here for debate, but for help.

All the help/advice I have thus far received in this thread I do appreciate, but I feel the focus is being taken off the problem at hand.

Again, and scriptural references that would help, I would be grateful for.

Thanks in advance :)

This is a matter that has to be resolved between you, your husband and the church elders as Matt 18:16-17 and 1coft 6:1 all say.

That is when, with him present and before the pastor you can show your evidence of his unreasonable behaviour, of any threatening or violent behaviour and he has the opertunity to refute them.

If he will not attend such a meeting then try marriage counselling if he still will not attend or co operate you will either have to stay with him or divorce him.
 
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SongOnTheWind

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This is a matter that has to be resolved between you, your husband and the church elders as Matt 18:16-17 and 1coft 6:1 all say.

That is when, with him present and before the pastor you can show your evidence of his unreasonable behaviour, of any threatening or violent behaviour and he has the opertunity to refute them.

If he will not attend such a meeting then try marriage counselling if he still will not attend or co operate you will either have to stay with him or divorce him.
We have done this. All he does is put on an act. He is very convincing when he wants to appear sincere and humble.

He has refused counselling.
 
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Tolworth John

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We have done this. All he does is put on an act. He is very convincing when he wants to appear sincere and humble.

He has refused counselling.

Your problems is that you will have to present solid evidence of his unreasonable behaviour or of violent behaviour.
You will need to record, store and labell an ordered series of conversations showing his behaviour to you.

You should as I've suggested discuss this with your own therapist, partly to establish your concerns officially over a period of time and also to determine that this behaviour of your husband is not a product of your depression.
If this is hurtful I am sorry, you have to cover ever angle and if you are divorcing him, this is an angle his lawyers will use.

Otherwise you have to live with him.
 
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SongOnTheWind

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Your problems is that you will have to present solid evidence of his unreasonable behaviour or of violent behaviour.
You will need to record, store and labell an ordered series of conversations showing his behaviour to you.

You should as I've suggested discuss this with your own therapist, partly to establish your concerns officially over a period of time and also to determine that this behaviour of your husband is not a product of your depression.
If this is hurtful I am sorry, you have to cover ever angle and if you are divorcing him, this is an angle his lawyers will use.

Otherwise you have to live with him.

Thank you.
 
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Lost4words

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Have you sought medical / professional help? If he is not willing to attend then it may be very beneficial for you to get some good solid advice.

Your safety and the kids is paramount.

May God bless you and guide you in this matter.
 
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SongOnTheWind

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Have you sought meI dical / professional help? If he is not willing to attend then it may be very beneficial for you to get some good solid advice.

Your safety and the kids is paramount.

May God bless you and guide you in this matter.

Thank you.

I have had therapy sessions for dealing with my postpartum depression, which compounded in all my three pregnancies so I had a lot to unpack by the time I was able to have any therapy. Unfortunately, it just did not help my depression. However, I know that God will restore me and my children completely.

As I said in my OP, and repeatedly throughout this thread, if anyone here has ANY scripture they can give concerning my situation, I would so greatly appreciate it. I know God is good, and He is faithful, but I am looking for something specific in the bible that speaks to what I am going through. I don't recall any psychopathic husbands in the bible. Perhaps Nabal?

The reason why I am asking a lot is because, as I learned through those who I thought would support me:

Jeremiah 46:11
“Go up to Gilead and take balm, O virgin, the daughter of Egypt; In vain you will use many medicines; You shall not be cured.

My physician had no remedy. My pastors had no remedy. My only hope is inside of God's Word. It's not just a last resort, it's the only thing I can depend on. I need the balm of Gilead, not the physicians of Egpyt. I am praying on my own, but I thought it would also be prudent to seek out other Christian counsel, seeing as my pastors don't seem to want to know at all. Though I do pray on my own, sometimes I do feel the need for support from others in the faith.

Thank you all for your concern and advice, but I think I shall just continue to pray by myself and see what the Lord does. He is faithful and true. I will also look into churches that deal with these kinds of things, as someone suggested with their posted links.

Be blessed, all.
 
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SANTOSO

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I am in a serious spiritual battle with my husband, whom I believe is an actual narcissistic psychopath. He doesn't want to be diagnosed, which I am not surprised at all; but I don't know what other term I would use. I am in constant concern for the safety and wellbeing for my kids and myself. I'm already in a battle of my own with depression. My pastors aren't really taking the situation seriously at all.

I have been praying for him, but it's very hard to know what to pray. I am at the point where I realise I am in a spiritual battle with his condition, but I don't know how to pray.

Are there any bible verses that anyone can reference that I can stand on in effective prayer for my husband? Or specific things to pray? Please let me know. Thank you!
Dear one,
You are right in considering as a serious spiritual battle with your husband. I understand your love for your husband. And much more, I believe your husband would consider it right to prioritize the safety and well being of your children and yourself.

I do understand that it can be challenging when you yourself are struggling with depression and also in need to care for your children and husband.

Dear one, consider what the Lord Himself said : I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours. -John 17:9

So just Jesus can pray on our behalf, so we can also pray on behalf of our children, husband/wife, and others.

First, we need right standing before God, for God to hear our prayers. This is what we have heard:
Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or his ear dull, that it cannot hear; -Isaiah 59:1
but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear. -Isaiah 59:2

Sure, we would like God to save our families and that He heard our prayers and help us but we didn’t know whether we may have offended God and others by what we may have said and done. May be there are sins or iniquities, that we are not aware of, and that hinder God from hearing our prayers. For we heard:

Who can discern unintentional sins?
Cleanse me from hidden faults.-Psalms 19:12 CJB

What should we do then? This is what we have heard:

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. -Psalms 32:8

Didn’t our Holy Spirit instruct us and teach us in the way we should go ? Yes, He did; He has said that in Psalms 32.

This is the instructions that we heard:

I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah -Psalms 32:5 ESV

So when we confessed our offenses and believe that God forgave us like David, we are forgiven and we can rejoice like David, that said:

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. -Psalms 32:1
Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. -Psalms 32:2

So dear one,
Like David, how he made an appeal to God:

Remember Your mercy, O LORD, and Your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. -Psalms 25:6 ESV
Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to Your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of Your goodness, O LORD! -Psalms 25:7 ESV

Dear one, our Lord have said:

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. -Mark 11:24
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." -Mark 11:25

So dear one, in keeping with God’s words,
release forgiveness to those who offended or sinned against you every day. And believe that your Heavenly Father forgives the guilt of your sins. As we have heard:

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, -Matthew 6:14
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. -Matthew 6:15

So dear believe on what our Lord have said and let us walk in obedience to His words. For we heard:

It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. -John 6:63

Dear one, when we regard the words that our Lord have spoken to us, the Spirit of His words give us life. The Spirit of His words gives life to our family.

I understand the challenge when depressed, had to face the evil spirit of narcissistic psychopath and concern with children. This is what I pray :

Lord Jesus Christ, my Shepherd.
I bless the circumstances that bring grief and sorrow into my heart. I bless it. I receive the peace of Jesus Christ and the inheritance blessings— that is coming to me; from blessing it.
Amen.


Lord my God,
I bless the person who accused me, hurt me, disappoint me, upset me, mistreated me, resented me, rejected me, and abandoned me

I may have been accused, hurt, disappointed, upset, mistreated,hated, and rejected, abandoned

but now I release forgiveness to those who hurt me, disappoint me, upset me, mistreat me, resent me,reject me and abandoned.

I bless the persons who accuse, hurt, disappointed, upset, mistreated,hated, rejected me, abandoned me.

I thank you Father in Heaven.
When I bless them, I got blessings coming my way.

I am inheriting blessings today or tonight.
In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.

Dear one, when we have released forgiveness to those who offended us, now we can pray on behalf of others— for we have removed the plank in our own eyes, first.

This is the Bible verses, that you can pray over your husband and marriage:

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.
For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace, and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity.-Ephesians 2:13-16 NKJV

This is how I pray over my marriage:

Lord Jesus Christ,
My wife and I who were far off in marriage, You, O Lord have brought near by Your precious blood.
For You Yourself, O Lord is our peace who has made both my wife and I —one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, having abolished in Your flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Yourself one new man from the two, thus making peace, and that You might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity in our marriage. To God be the glory. Amen

Dear one, keep on trusting on the Lord’s steadfast love. May God’s grace and peace be with you, your husband and children. God bless you all in Christ Jesus. To God be the glory. Amen.
 
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SongOnTheWind

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And much more, I believe your husband would consider it right to prioritize the safety and well being of your children and yourself.

I would believe it too, if I did not think he were exhibiting psychopathic behaviour, as I explained in my OP.

Thank you for the scripture verses, I will weigh them and apply them as the Holy Spirit leads. :)
 
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